“NOW I TELL YA, THAT’S A HECK OF A TOSS. RIGHT NEXT TO THE JACK, WHICH IS USUALLY THE BEST WAY TO WIN AT BOCCE” Bocce, the sport of choice for old xenophobic Italian men and drunk hipsters at barbecues, has proponents in the form of Steve Mariucci and John Madden, who have hosted a Bay Area charity celebrity tournament the past 10 years.
Yet somehow every penny of the $3 million raised in that time has been squandered on such unlofty frivolities as the Boys and Girls Clubs and the Special Olympics, with nary a dime going to help already wealthy sportswriters in need. I believe I am safe in assuming there won’t be a trace of concrete cyanide gracing this tournament anytime soon. Though if PK were to make an appearance, a game of mumblety-peg should immediately break out.
Tags: Madden, quick hit, xmas ape, Yogi Berra is the greatest living bocce player
June 5th, 2009 at 11:24 am
“Yogi Berra is the greatest living bocce player”
Greatest. Tag. Ever.
June 5th, 2009 at 11:35 am
Without fail, the phrase “bocce balls” makes me think of this scene.
(Very slightly and very briefly NSFW.)
June 5th, 2009 at 11:46 am
I saw “Splash” as a wee laddie in the theater and man, seeing Daryl Hannah’s bare ass (however briefly) was a major moment in my young life. They were far more generous with the PG and PG-13 ratings back then, like with the German bier fräu showing her tits in “European Vacation”.
Oh, and John Candy in “Splash” gave me the idea for two things I still do today:
dropping change so I can kneel down and look up ladies’ skirts and bringing a cooler full of beer into a raquetball court.
June 5th, 2009 at 11:47 am
Bocce at the beach is a great game. Lofty game.
June 5th, 2009 at 11:54 am
Bocce at the beach is a great game. Lofty game.
Clutch game?
June 5th, 2009 at 11:56 am
How come this post has no homerism?
June 5th, 2009 at 12:03 pm
It’s the most exercise Madden will get all year.
June 5th, 2009 at 12:16 pm
That’s the sexiest Sexy Friday photo ever.
June 5th, 2009 at 12:22 pm
Fucking hipsters – who do you think you’re kidding? I know you don’t give a shit about sports or Bocce – you’re simply using the gathering as another excuse to complain about the beer that is being served or brag about how well traveled you are. Yeah that week you spent in Ibiza really changed your outlook on life, asshole.
June 5th, 2009 at 1:18 pm
Now that’s some Yogi Berra hyperbole we can all live with!