Trent Green Learns From The Master: Well, we couldn’t let this go unnoticed during our week off. “You may have heard I recently decided to retire.” I did? Didn’t Travis Johnson retire you two years ago, champ? “If you’re going to St. Louis for the MLB All-Star Game you have to take the time to go to Ted Drewe’s Frozen Custard. You won’t be disappointed.” If it’s anything near the quality of South End Buttery’s espresso, I think we ‘re all in for a real treat.
KSK Turns Three. Remains Spiritually Two. It’s our 3rd birthday today. I have nothing really to add to that, other that we’re grateful to you, Mr. Reader, for sticking around our parts for so long. It’s KSK Dark Week this week, meaning we’ll be taking the week off to recharge. But fear not. We’ll be back next week, and I WILL do the Klassic King breakdowns, as promised. Plus more mailbagging, Ocho and Marvin, the fantasy team name guide, and more. In the meantime, we’ll post if anything big comes up, and consider this your week-long open thread. SEXUAL CHOCOLATE!
It’s that time of the week, gents. Let’s get to it. (more…)
I’m the most sensitive person in the world to people hating on my team, but I can’t resist this deranged video comparing the Steelers unfavorably to the New York Yanks football team. If you say you haven’t heard of the Yanks, you’ve clearly been sleeping, because according to this video, they practice on a tropical atoll and have won 12 Super Bowls compared to the Steelers’ paltry three. Not only that, but the Yanks have a much more macho dead celebrity trainer and a thugged out Ben Franklin on their logo. Hate to say it, but: advantage Yanks.
Tip of the hat to PSAMP for digging up this honey mustard sauce-dipped nugget of concentrated insanity.
I had five quotes on my gay little yearbook page. Here they are:
So many idiots, so few bullets. –Andrew Dice Clay
Not as edgy as I used to think it was.
90% of everything is crap. –Roger Ebert
Roger Ebert didn’t actually say this quote. Some guy named Theodore Sturgeon did. Up that percentage to 100% when discussing electroclash records.
Do one thing and do it better than anyone –Orville Redenbacher
This is the only one I kinda like.
Random Joe Paterno Quote
I’m not even a Penn State fan. I have no clue why I included this.
D.C. SOCCER MOMS GET INURED TO SEEDY SUBCULTURE OF ONLINE SPORTS-RELATED DICK JOKERY! Drew and I are included in a feature titled “*&#S@% Dan Snyder!” (I believe the word being censored is “Harpoonfu¢k”) in the latest issue of Washingtonian. If you look closely, you can see two Metro trains colliding somewhere in the masthead. Drew kind of dominates the piece, as Drew is given to doing, while I get a few paragraphs recounting that old blog fable about being the guy who got fired by some failing newspaper (another chance for professional old biddy Deborah Howell to call me a sexist, racist, ageist, baby-eating computer Nazi). Buy it for the blog condescension, keep it for the recommendations on the five best bikram yoga places in the Palisades (the answer may surprise you).
After the jump, Jackson’s Super Bowl halftime performance.
(Full disclosure: Ochocinco later recanted. I guess some people are still a little touchy about 9/11. But whatever, imagine if Bettie Page and Elvis died on the same day. As sad as the attack on Pearl Harbor, right? Hello?)
Welcome back for another edition of the Fantasy Sex Advice Mailbag, the mailbaggiest mailbag on the internet. This week we answer reader questions ranging from your standard fantasy football questions to Dorito dusted naughty bits. This week’s questions and answers are after the jump, and as usual all spelling is correct.
We’re always impressed when we get letters from people around the NFL. It still kinda blows our collective minds that this blog gets all the attention that it does in the sports universe. But we were doubly surprised when we received an email from Rex Ryan, who of course is the new coach for the New York Jets, who asked us to share a message with you on his behalf. We were flattered by the gesture, and only too happy to oblige, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that this was just another form letter that he sends out regularly to random groups of people. Read it after the jump and tell us if we’re just crazy. (more…)
