Well, It’s Better than a Preseason Game
As KSK’s resident TV blogger, I thought I’d point out that tonight is the premiere of Spike TV’s “4th and Long,” the reality series hosted by Michael Irvin in which the winner receives a training camp roster spot on the Dallas Cowboys. So basically, the winner will get cut. Second place is stabbed in the neck with scissors.
10 p.m. Eastern, people. Set your DVRs, lest you miss Irvin instructing contestants on the “private jet orgy” challenge. Most women impregnated gets immunity this week!
Tags: 4th and Long, captain caveman, dallas cowboys, michael irvin is an attempted murderer
May 18th, 2009 at 5:31 pm
Do contestants have to fight Irvin to the death using only a pair of scissors? If so, I will watch.
May 18th, 2009 at 5:32 pm
“As KSK’s resident TV blogger…”
You’re one promotion away from jizz-mopper.
May 18th, 2009 at 5:43 pm
Third place is a 6 month stretch as Nate Newton’s husband.
“Good, then come over here …”
May 18th, 2009 at 6:03 pm
@ SonOfSpam
That would be an upgrade from casual 90210 recapper.
May 18th, 2009 at 6:16 pm
Wait, these were the guys who weren’t even good enough to make it to training camp?
At least on the Cougar, you get to bang a 60 year-old botox-plated plastic hag before being saddled the rest of your life with her cosmetic surgery bills and awkwardly avoiding angry glares from her kids at reunions.
May 18th, 2009 at 6:23 pm
Charles Haley, Alonzo Spellman and Demetrius Underwood are in negotiations for their own reality show.
May 18th, 2009 at 6:37 pm
michael irvin is an attempted murderer
Attempted murder? Now honestly, what is that? Do they give a Nobel Prize for attempted chemistry? Do they?
May 18th, 2009 at 6:40 pm
Jesus fucking Christ, you stab ONE person in the neck with scissors….
Seriously people, Michael Irvin was the heart and soul of a three-time Super Bowl champion, you know.
(Who am I kidding? I’m the only one is the world dumb enough to have a man-crush on Michael Irvin. Now where’s my weed?)
May 18th, 2009 at 6:52 pm
@skim172 They “get” to bang Jerry Jones?
May 18th, 2009 at 7:25 pm
Just watch my fucking TV show and nunaya bitches will have to worry about the scissors.
May 18th, 2009 at 7:25 pm
“Private Jet Orgy” would have been a much better name for the show
May 18th, 2009 at 7:41 pm
This show could really use motivational speeches from Emmitt Smith. I didn’t hear one “masturbate the ball down the feel” throughout that entire clip and it really needed it.
May 18th, 2009 at 7:56 pm
Six WRs and six DBs? Sounds like an Al Davis draft.
Bill Bates’ NFL career consisted of bumping, then apologizing to, a member of a chain gang (not in the sense that the Cowboys usually use the term), on one of those “Hidden NFL” videos. WTF does he get to be on a reality show?
May 18th, 2009 at 8:49 pm
Bill Bates was a special teams stud, fool.
May 18th, 2009 at 9:19 pm
Everyone’s a winner on “4th and Long!” Seriously. Cocaine for everyone!
/a hell of a drug
May 18th, 2009 at 9:23 pm
“most women impregnated gets immunity”
Travis Henry would be the lock of the century
May 18th, 2009 at 10:12 pm
I can totally see Jerry Jones saddling Wade with the winner. “Dammit Tubby, this kid’s good! He won my boy Michael’s show! That’s publicity you can’t buy!”
May 18th, 2009 at 10:18 pm
Irvin is my HERRRRRRRRRRO. BUT…
…even I know this show is going to blow big monkey nuts. No way the winner gets a roster spot.
/hangs head in shame
//waits patiently for NFL season to start
May 18th, 2009 at 11:24 pm
In other PR news, the Cowboys couldn’t get a corporation to pony up a fortune for naming rights, so the stadium will be called: Cowboys Stadium. How much it must hurt JJ every time he thinks about that. It is… delicious.
May 18th, 2009 at 11:34 pm
“most women impregnated gets immunity”
What about the woman who delivered twins with different fathers? Methinks she’s earned immunity. Or scorn and a boatload of STDs.
May 18th, 2009 at 11:48 pm
The commercial looks cool though…
{sigh}
May 19th, 2009 at 12:04 am
The kicker was the episode of Pros v. Joes tonight starring none other than Pacman Jones… and he gets in a fight!
May 19th, 2009 at 4:27 am
Tryouts in the tent?
Just asking.
May 19th, 2009 at 8:41 am
I was fully expecting this to suck huge warty balls but, in the middle of the offseason drought it was rad to see punks hitting each other while Irvin yelled at ‘em for throwing up on “his” field.
May 19th, 2009 at 9:34 am
“The franchise that boasts 20 consecutive winning seasons” … a streak that ended in 1985.
May 19th, 2009 at 9:55 am
I was pleasantly surprised too! Yea, football like things going on on my TV!
May 19th, 2009 at 1:24 pm
there was a whole lotta puke hitting his field. I have only seen fat linemen puking on the field, didnt know WR or DB’s did that shit as well. WTF>
May 19th, 2009 at 2:17 pm
@ Slash: not naming your field something corporate is classier than having a whore field, but you wouldn’t know the difference.
@ SRV: You clearly never played football.
May 19th, 2009 at 2:27 pm
@SRV
Pop Warner really isn’t a great sample size.