“Trust me, there’s a great deal wrong with this man.”
I exhausted my capacity for whoring “Men With Balls” a while back, save for the ginormous ad to my immediate right. But there’s no way I’m not posting a video review done by some hefty chick who was forced by her boyfriend to read it. Makes the whole book writing process totally worth it. “It’s really quite disgusting.” Sure is, honey.
UPDATE: Video disabled now. CRIMINY!
Tags: book whoring, come here are ya ticklish?, is that you clare?, lousy boyfriends, men with balls, she also plans on hating tunison's book, she preferred eat pray eat some more
May 5th, 2009 at 6:05 pm
were there pictures of food? No, then she hated it.
May 5th, 2009 at 6:06 pm
I’m guessing she prefers a cook book
May 5th, 2009 at 6:12 pm
sounds like a bitch. someone should get her a book for the people who post book reviews on youtube that think they can analyze literature better than the new york times.
/fat joke
May 5th, 2009 at 6:12 pm
“Witticism and charm.” You had her at hello.
May 5th, 2009 at 6:16 pm
Does anyone else find it ironic that people review BOOKS on youtube?
May 5th, 2009 at 6:17 pm
She was way too intellectual for me. Was she saying she did, or did not, like anal?
May 5th, 2009 at 6:19 pm
Drew, are you on vacation in Hattiesburg, prepping Favre for Chilly’s visit?
May 5th, 2009 at 6:23 pm
“This book is for guys, like my boyfriend, who think that they have all the ability to be professional athletes…”
Got it.
“You know, the armchair quarterback who things he can call plays better than Peyton Manning, the hair-under-six-feet white guy who thinks he can dunk better than Shaq…”
Right, right, I get your point.
“The mini-golf player who thinks he can putt better than Tiger Woods…”
Jesus, I UNDERSTAND, I don’t need an example from every sport!
“…and the mammoth season-ticket holder who thinks that getting violently abused by a lacrosse stick can’t possibly hurt.”
Well, wait, I lost you there.
May 5th, 2009 at 6:24 pm
She does nothing but hate on people who would like that book, then says that it’s “perfect for my boyfriend.”
By that logic, Drew’s book is perfect for people that have self respect, as this woman clearly has none and hates the book.
May 5th, 2009 at 6:27 pm
Aww I think today is her day off from writing recaps over at television without pity.
May 5th, 2009 at 6:31 pm
I swear to God I saw this woman on TLC’s Half Ton people. While her top third just makes her seem only portly and offensive, her bottom two-thirds are that of a morbidly obese sperm whale.
I hate it when my mom reads books and posts youtubings about it.
May 5th, 2009 at 6:33 pm
The tags on this are hysterical. “Come here are you ticklish?” is a classic and eat, pray and eat some more just made me clear out the office with my laughter. Well done.
May 5th, 2009 at 6:36 pm
i’m guessing this whale should put down the books and venture outdoors, perhaps for some sun and exercise…. oh wait, she would still be hideous. people that look like that are why i don’t believe in god.
May 5th, 2009 at 6:37 pm
@ Phil Ken
http://www.coloradomammoth.com/
Yeah I was lost too
May 5th, 2009 at 6:39 pm
that preview for the vid is her channeling the spirit of Cockmongler
May 5th, 2009 at 6:42 pm
… who thinks that getting violently abused by a lacrosse stick can’t possibly hurt
Well the key here, sweetheart, is to hide your boyfriend’s lacrosse sticks
May 5th, 2009 at 6:43 pm
She does nothing but hate on people who would like that book, then says that it’s “perfect for my boyfriend.”
Imaginary Boyfriends are Weird.
May 5th, 2009 at 6:44 pm
“sounds like a bitch. someone should get her a book for the people who post book reviews on youtube that think they can analyze literature better than the new york times.”
Have you even read Michiko Kakutani? Don’t know if you realized it, but the NYT sucks at analyzing lit, too.
May 5th, 2009 at 6:52 pm
Her review needs more eye-rolling. And fewer references to stick play in the crease.
May 5th, 2009 at 6:56 pm
She had me at “raunchy” and “disgusting.” Through in “perverted” and you have a sure fire winner.
/I know Robert James Waller and you, Mr. Magary, are no Robert James Waller!
//ad homium attacks aren’t particularly clever
May 5th, 2009 at 6:57 pm
Meh, I’d hit it…
May 5th, 2009 at 6:57 pm
Welcome to the kissingheftywomenreport.uproxx.com.
There’s so many other joke-options here, that my head just exploded!
May 5th, 2009 at 7:04 pm
Another product of the Omega Mu Sorority.
May 5th, 2009 at 7:05 pm
Jean Teasdale!!! She musta gotten the book recommended from hubby Rick!
May 5th, 2009 at 7:11 pm
Despite Ashley’s best efforts, I did not notice the eye rolls. I was too distracted by the rolls of fat under her chin.
May 5th, 2009 at 7:23 pm
I wonder if by “boyfriend” she meant her cat.
And I wonder if she read the book to improve her odds of picking up a guy when she’s out cruising for Cleveland Steamers.
And finally I wonder if Drew is her idea of a perfect boyfriend.
Steelers suck.
May 5th, 2009 at 7:30 pm
Do want!
But if her voice is any indication, she was unfortunately probably molested as a child (which would also go a ways in explaining her size).
May 5th, 2009 at 7:36 pm
Some author is getting laid tonight.
May 5th, 2009 at 7:40 pm
Drew, is she right? Is this book really not for kids? I got it for my neighbor’s six year old–he had a birthday–and I thought he’d like it. Fuck me.
May 5th, 2009 at 7:49 pm
I don’t think that this review was about the book at all. It was about sending a message to her boyfriend.
I also thought Men With Balls sucked, but this was primarily because it didn’t have pictures of naked ladies in it.
But what do I know about books.
May 5th, 2009 at 7:51 pm
I love you too, Drew.
Dick.
May 5th, 2009 at 8:00 pm
Don’t take any guff from that swine, Clare.
May 5th, 2009 at 8:20 pm
Is it too late to have her blurb the paperback?
May 5th, 2009 at 8:20 pm
Oh man. If you thought it was bad when Rocco gave us pictures of his ex, just wait until this chick’s boyfriend comes out and admits in this comment section that he is, in fact, her boyfriend.
Neverending abuse.
/I’d still hit it.
May 5th, 2009 at 8:32 pm
Somewhere, this alleged boyfriend is seriously weighing the cost/benefit calculations again: Nailing a fatty that your friends will make fun of you for behind your back has become nailing an annoying and opinionated fatty that your friends, their friends, and a rough guesstimate of 25K people a day will make fun of you for behind your back, in front of your face, and anywhere else you have been or may go.
Just when he is finishing up weighing those options, the fatty breaks the scale. Damn. Now he’ll never know.
/less than morbid obesity elitism
May 5th, 2009 at 8:35 pm
How does she have a boyfriend and I’m single? How in hell does she get more action than I do? WTF!!!
May 5th, 2009 at 9:03 pm
And now the Cock Teeth will be unleashed on this poor soul. Not even God can save her now.
May 5th, 2009 at 9:05 pm
“It wasn’t that spectacular, it wasn’t that memorable …”
Wait a minute, is she talking about the book or her (imaginary) bf’s sex life??
May 5th, 2009 at 9:08 pm
This is Lil’ Wayne Chrebet’s girlfriend, isn’t it?
May 5th, 2009 at 9:25 pm
she also plans on hating tunison’s book
How? Is she going to color outside the lines?
I keed, I keed.
May 5th, 2009 at 9:26 pm
I see your “come here are you ticklish” and raise you a “yeah, I called you fat, look at me, I’m skinny.”
I’m borrowing that term to discuss fat chicks in while in public with mixed company.
May 5th, 2009 at 9:28 pm
Whales? On my YouTube?
May 5th, 2009 at 9:29 pm
Ok. I admit it has been a long day of work etc. And I am tired. But she spends approximately 2:15 bashing the book, then approx. 15 seconds saying is was amusing, she got quite a few chuckles, and laughs, and it may not be that bad a book if you like sports.
Huh? What? You are killing me lady.
By the way, the eye roll battles the lisp for irritating me. I will have to ponder which irritated me more.
May 5th, 2009 at 9:51 pm
Run for it, Venkman! Slimer’s taken human form!!
May 5th, 2009 at 9:54 pm
Dump the bitch.
May 5th, 2009 at 9:55 pm
Oh, and to Drew: I’ve resisted all the whoring up until now, but actually, I think I might want t oread this.
May 5th, 2009 at 10:12 pm
WTF is a “humor book” ? Did I miss something ?
May 5th, 2009 at 10:20 pm
I expect her “boyfriend” to be writing into this weeks fantasy football/sex advice mailbag.
Also, her youtube name is Ashvoice, I say more like Assvoice. AMIRITE? AMIRITE?
May 5th, 2009 at 10:32 pm
She’s hard at work on her rebuttal work, “Cunts with Double Chins.”
May 5th, 2009 at 10:35 pm
Did she say “notice the eye roll” or “notice the flab rolls?”
May 5th, 2009 at 10:54 pm
I want those 66 seconds of my life back!
May 5th, 2009 at 11:00 pm
http://i4.ytimg.com/i/cYP9OsIBjTZxUxiLZSfmbg/1.jpg
Little miss piggy needs to learn some RESPECT
FIX YO MOUF
May 5th, 2009 at 11:35 pm
She has a boyfriend?
May 5th, 2009 at 11:41 pm
Wow. Her cheeks and eyebrows work really well for having just had a face transplant.
(WHAT. I know you see the resemblance.)
May 5th, 2009 at 11:48 pm
Show yourself, boyfriend. If herpes muffdiver, sexually deprived new dad, and BJ-dispensing virgin can all come out and get their whipping, you can identify yourself. We know you’re there. Finish banging the Lusitania, ponder what happened to your life real quick, and then let us make fun of you.
May 6th, 2009 at 12:00 am
I call your “yeah, I called you fat, look at me, I’m skinny”, and raise you a “you’ll never stop me from getting busy, I’m a freak.”
May 6th, 2009 at 12:06 am
If I was nailing this chick, I would have “I’m on a Boat” playing in the background.
May 6th, 2009 at 12:07 am
Finish banging the Lusitania, ponder what happened to your life real quick, and then let us make fun of you.
Amen. It’s the right thing to do.
May 6th, 2009 at 12:08 am
HTML fail.
May 6th, 2009 at 12:33 am
Here’s been my day so far:
- Instead of drinking GOOD tequila with friends and Mexicans, I am forced to attend a family event, where there is crap-ass Margarita mix that tastes like sweaty gooch.
- I have to find out from PETER FUCKING KING’S TWITTER that Marvin Harrison is done.
- I then get to find out that Howard Mudd, the Colts’ legendary O-line coach, is retiring immediately.
- And some woodland creature scares my cat so he comes running through the cat door covered in crap and I had to give him a bath for the second time this week.
So, thanks KSK, for making my evening good enough to not throw myself off the roof.
May 6th, 2009 at 12:42 am
DO YOU NOT GET SUBTLE HUMOR, YOU LAND MONSTER? WHAT? HUH? WHAT? FUCK YOU!
May 6th, 2009 at 1:33 am
No one noticed the exercise ball in the background? Commenters be slipping.
May 6th, 2009 at 8:27 am
@TSW: I noticed it, figured it was something she stood on while the ringmaster threw peanuts into the air for her to catch with her trunk.
May 6th, 2009 at 8:30 am
( In the voice of Count Von Count)
SIX!!! I COUNT SIX DOUBLE CHINS!! HA HA HA!!!!
Today’s show has been brought to you by the letters F, A, T, and the number 315
May 6th, 2009 at 8:58 am
God dammit, she disabled the video before I could get to watch it.
May 6th, 2009 at 9:17 am
She made it private. I did find it funny though, that the spotlight video I was given on the page was for a baby gorilla.
May 6th, 2009 at 10:34 am
I think it had something to do with a few people calling bullshit on her boyfriend comment.
May 6th, 2009 at 10:43 am
I didn’t get to see the video before it went private. But I assume that the “boyfriend” must read the site (how else would you know about Men With Balls). Does he have the balls to admit this is his girlfriend? Come out come out whereever you are.
May 6th, 2009 at 10:49 am
As someone else hinted at above, one of the most annoying results of the “information age” is that now everyone is encouraged in the belief that anyone other than their closest friends and relatives should give a fuck what they think (yeah, I see the irony here).
It’s bad enough when it’s a badly written comment (complete with no caps or punctuation whatsoever, except for emoticons) on a website, now people think we want to look at them while they say shit we don’t care about. It’s our duty to let them know, in the strongest terms possible, that they are wrong about this. The information superhighway goes both ways.
Also, her boyfriend is a lucky man. Hefty and bitchy. That’s always an awesome combo.
May 6th, 2009 at 11:07 am
@Big Black Richard: How did I get dragged into this? That’s not cool man.
/Someone just shoot me now please.
May 6th, 2009 at 11:22 am
I’m assuming the boyfriend is the terrifying bearded motherfucker pictured top right.
http://www.youtube.com/ashvoice
May 6th, 2009 at 11:27 am
@make it snow: he’s a lucky, lucky man: “My favorite movies are “Titanic,” “Sex and the City,” “Last of the Mohicans,” and “Knocked Up.” And books: “How to Remodel a Man,” anything by Jodi Picoult, anything by Bill O’Reilly.
what a keeper.
May 6th, 2009 at 11:38 am
Holy crap her boyfriend has a giant melon. Heed, pants, NOW!
May 6th, 2009 at 11:45 am
He’s going to cry himself to sleep tonight on his huge pillow
May 6th, 2009 at 1:09 pm
“Of course I love you darling
You’re a bloody top Notch bird
And when I say you’re gorgeous
I mean every single word
So your bum is on the big side
I don’t mind a bit of flab
It means that when I’m ready
There’s somethin’ there to grab”
May 6th, 2009 at 3:46 pm
So you’re fat. And you have an opinion about a book. So you make a video about your opinion about this book, and you post it on fucking Youtube.
Obviously, you want people to see how witty and funny you are, and how really fucking important your opinion is.
Then people make fun of you for it. Which is understandable, because you’re
A) Fat
B) An opinionated cunt
C) Quite an annoying bint.
D) All of the above.
So then you shut down your video. What the fuck? Are you that thin skinned? I love how everyone wants to be the new cool kid on youtube, but as soon as someone says something bad about you, the video is quickly taken down. Are people really that fucking narcissistic that they honestly believe that everyone will just love their every word?
Wait, don’t answer that.
In short, fuck you, fat bint.
/Hubie’d
May 6th, 2009 at 6:49 pm
I’m sorry, but I bought that book for my boyfriend and not only did he think it was the most hilarious book ever, I thought the same thing as well. She’s fat and ugly. Why is anybody paying attention to this bitch?
May 6th, 2009 at 6:57 pm
I asked her why she took it down all nice like. I may have tossed a slice of stuffed crust pizza her way. She replied.
Well, obviously I didn’t like the book or no one would care. And since apparently we now live in Nazi Germany, I’m not allowed to have differing views. I’m sick of being called a fatty (or some variation of that), having my chins counted, and having my relationship questioned. If all the comments had just been about how wrong I am or even how ignorant I am, the video never would have come down. I want to hear why I’m wrong about the book, not why my boyfriend should break up with me because I’m an elephant who likes Titanic. Sorry, I rambled.
May 6th, 2009 at 7:27 pm
I’m sad I didn’t get to read it now. I’m in a catty mood and everything.
May 7th, 2009 at 1:02 am
At least she’s not going around molesting stone fruits.
Hefty and bitchy. That’s always an awesome combo.
What can I say? My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard.