The Emo Eagles Are Still Coming to Grips
Song: “I Caught Myself” — Paramore
Mood: Wistful for an era long before I was born
It’s been a while since I last committed feelings to web page but, if there has been a lapse in time, it was caused the heavy stock taking of anguish that occurred in the wake of Brian Dawkins departure from the Iggles. In the long sleepless nights since, if I’ve even been able to manifest feelings into words, they connect awkwardly (and I know of awkward connections) in broken sentences shot through with emotion and punctuated by longing. And possibly an ellipsis.
In lieu of writing, I’ve tried my hand at a number of coping mechanisms.
I pick petals, alternating between “yes” and “no”. If the last petal is yes, Dawkins will be back before Week 1.
I take free throws at the basketball hoop in the driveway. If I make three in a row, he’ll be back before training camp. I abandoned this tactic early.
If I can guess the next song on the radio, Dawk will be released by Denver next week. And I did it. So what if Jason Mraz’s “I’m Yours” comes on every third song. It still counts. So you owe me God.
The Wolverine movie only reminds us of our Weapon X, so we have committed to protest.
I even stopped being depressed that Samatha blocked me on Gchat because I spelled out the name of her Philly message board screen name (4lorn) by chemically killing the grass on her lawn.
Anyway, since the unspeakable happened, there has been the appearance of the team moving forward. The Eagles as a whole seem to be improved, added as they have a Pro Bowl left tackle and talented rookies at receiver and running back, but the mind inevitably comes back to the Dawk. But it’s like when your mother leaves your dad and you have to live with them because the court determined your real dad to be unfit. Yeah, the guy has a job, doesn’t refer to you only as “Kid” and buys you the dirt bike you really wanted when you were 12 but don’t really care about anymore but your mom knows it broke your heart when you didn’t get it at the time so she told the new guy it would be a big gesture to win you over so he did it anyway. You got the clean dad and the dirt bike, but it’s not quite the same. So I guess what I’m saying is I wish Brian Dawkins were my dad.
I suppose it’s bearable for now. The Flyers playoff defeat was predictable enough not to be too disappointing. The Fightin’s are in first, still defending champs. So that’s good. And the NFL regular season is far enough off that the specter of seeing my Daddy Dawk in an opposing uniform is an abstract horror. There may not be a copism mechanism outside of the medicine cabinet if that comes to pass.
Tags: emo eagles, never been clear on which of these two is the writer, xmas ape
May 26th, 2009 at 1:40 pm
The one on the right is definitely the writer.
May 26th, 2009 at 1:46 pm
No way it’s the one on the right. He has too many conflicting emotions to get through an entire paragraph.
May 26th, 2009 at 1:47 pm
Meh. People were upset back in April, but even the fans disparaging the front office for letting him go (which was the right move since Denver offered absolutely stupid money) or pointing out that his coverage skills had become Roy Williams-like have moved on. Even these two goofs are more concerned with how fast McCoy can pick up the offense and whether Demps will be a worthy successor at FS.
May 26th, 2009 at 1:54 pm
never been clear on which of these two is the writer
I’ve always imagined it as the one on the left.
May 26th, 2009 at 2:19 pm
I like to think that the one on our left is the writer, while the one on our right is the muse that whispers inspiration directly into his ear.
May 26th, 2009 at 2:21 pm
The emo Eagles are so emo that I always cut my-self after reading these posts.
May 26th, 2009 at 2:30 pm
never been clear on which of these two is the writer
The gay one.
May 26th, 2009 at 2:36 pm
I think this kid’s emotional problems would be solved if the Iggles went back to the see through mesh jerseys of the 1980s. Those should remind him of an “era long before I was born.”
May 26th, 2009 at 2:39 pm
Never been clear on which of these two is the catcher.
May 26th, 2009 at 3:00 pm
The one on the left had to write this post. No way the guy on the right ever shoots hoops. Unless he was allowed to do them granny style and then prance after the rebounds or something.
Still, I have sympathy for Emo Fan on the right. First the sad realization that Dawk is never coming back and then Adam loses American Idol. Tough week.
May 26th, 2009 at 3:14 pm
I wish my lawn was emo so that it would cut itself.
May 26th, 2009 at 3:22 pm
I’m convinced Eagles fans gotta be the least emo.
The most? 49ers fans. The red in the uniform is a symbol of the blood they shed in private as they cut themselves to the sounds of Panic at the Disco.
May 26th, 2009 at 4:32 pm
Johnny Cakes on the left is definitely the writer.
May 26th, 2009 at 4:58 pm
It’s definitely the guy on the right. If the Official Emo Haircut wasn’t enough of a dead giveaway, no one who was genuinely emo could bring themselves to summon the effort to neatly trim their facial hair like the guy on the left.
May 26th, 2009 at 6:16 pm
Birds are better off going young (notice i didn’t say better without him altogether). They signed Sean Jones from Cleveland and he’ll backup Quentin Demps who will most likely develop into a legit player this year.
And oh yeah, WERE GONNA WIN THE SUPER BOWL THIS YEAR MAEHA#$(@$I #(EQEQW WWDDSSA!!!!!!!
May 26th, 2009 at 7:38 pm
The Emo Eagles should try coming to grips with the fact that their team is among the have nots when it comes to Super Bowl championships.
/Fuck the Eagles
May 27th, 2009 at 3:34 am
Yeah, but we sure did win the World Series last year.
/ignores the fact that this is a football blog
May 27th, 2009 at 4:29 am
I still think there is a lot of reliance on young players for the Eagles next year.
/still doesn’t know what “emo” means…
May 27th, 2009 at 9:57 am
No way is it the guy on the left, how can you be emo with a mustache?
May 27th, 2009 at 10:04 am
Oh God, I never do this because it’s a little bit gay, but +1 Cobra.
I can’t stop laughing…
May 27th, 2009 at 10:55 am
People actually like that Paramore shit? It sounds like Kelly Clarkson trying to go punk.
May 27th, 2009 at 10:56 am
Which, I should add, is what Avril Lavigne sounded like… just worse, which I didn’t know was possible.
May 27th, 2009 at 1:00 pm
People actually like that Paramore shit?
I’m sure if you tried, you could find something to like about them.