This is a bad economy to be trifling with the support of fans and sponsors with conservative, anti-dog-killing values, and one could argue that Vick’s deteriorated acumen at quarterback wouldn’t be enough to offer a team to offset the ensuing PR meltdown from its own supporters. He could still get picked up, but it won’t be until later in the summer or early fall, when season ticket forms and sponsorship checks have already been turned in. But I’m wandering off-topic. Read the rest of this entry »

We’re in the slowest stretch of the offseason now: the dreaded post-draft period. There’s no football on, and there won’t be football on for quite some time. You’re angry. You’re hateful. We understand. At KSK, we’re hateful too. Of all things, at all times. Hating is what we do best. So, in that spirit, I’d like to present you with our new off-topic offseason feature…

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READY TO IMPART ALL OF YOUR PROBLEMS TO DISDAINFUL MASTURBATORS? Sure you are. That’s why you need to gather the thorny sex life issues preventing you from sleeping or not twitching, add one half-assed question about which team Michael Vick will be traded to, and send them on down. That way we can gently mock you, but for your edification. And then we can get back to beating it to Hot Chicks on The Twitter. IT’S LIKE THE @ SIGN IS A GIANT MARY-LOUISE PARKER-LIKE AREOLA!

Joe Namath moves product. Here’s a fairly comprehensive look at the many endorsements of Joe Willy Namath. Included is his famed print ad for Dingo Boots. Dingo Boots: The only boots to earn Baby Snatcher Quarterly’s seal of approval. [Manolith]

Two nights ago Peter King held a charity auction for Paul Zimmerman which raised, according to King, more than $150,000 for Dr. Z’s recovery. I’m glad this event took place, because I hope Dr. Z gets better. More importantly, it gives us a chance to make fun of Peter’s write-up of the event. Join me, won’t you? Bidding for this post begins at $7,564,908.07…

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Vince “Right now I’m just focused on football” Young joined Nelly on stage as the host of a Smash the Mic event where he was repping Houston and supporting his boy Willie D who was recently locked up on federal fraud charges. Then, in a move that is sure to get the quarterback back in the good graces of Jeff Fisher, he decided to make it rain (just a few drops) all over the the ladies in the front row.

Thanks to the folks at You Been Blinded who have additional video of the show.

JAMES HARRISON NOT RETARDED AFTER ALL! He’s just a really bad liar. Apparently the guy just has an acute fear of flying and that is why he’s foregoing the trip to D.C. later this week to meet his worship, Cliff Huxtable. Nevermind, of course, that Warrrrshington is only, at most, a mere four-hour car ride from the ‘Burgh. THAT’S ANYBODY CAR DISTANCE! THAT ROAD WASN’T PAVED FOR JAMES HARRISON! [Mondesi's House]

MATT LIGHT DISAPPROVES OF YOUR FENG SHUI AND WILL SHOW IT WITH VIOLENCE. Patriots tackle Matt Light is being sued by a nightclub host-cum-interior decorator for an alleged beating the Patriots tackle administered to him on New Year’s Eve 2007 during an altercation at a Connecticut casino. See, Light practices his technique on interior decorators then later applies it on the field to Channing Crowder. Get a vehicle on the field and the offseason exploits of Marshawn Lynch and Donte Stallworth suddenly have remarkable utility.

Most people didn’t think there’d be a huge reception for Terrell Owens when he got to Buffalo, but most people don’t realize that the airport doubles as the coolest hangout spot in town. And so there were legions of sad, sad Bills fans there to greet their newest 35-year-old clubhouse cancer, who brought a VH1 crew in tow to capture the whoops of the downtrodden for T.O.’s upcoming reality show.

Mayor Byron Brown later presented Owens with a key to the city, though hopefully it doesn’t work on medicine cabinets because there have been some issues with the pills.

Video of his airport arrival is after the jump because it’s one of those annoying ones that starts automatically.

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Grocery clerk: Care for a lemon bar?

Woman: Oh, sure. Thank you.

Grocery clerk: Good, huh?

Woman: Very good.

Grocery clerk: Glad to hear it. Thanks for stopping by. You, sir, care for a lemon bar?

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