Oh, You’re Crazy, Childress. But Are You McDaniels Crazy?
This asshole Childress. This bald Mr. Noodle motherfucker. This cumstachioed cockbin.
This was to be the Offseason of McDaniels!
I was gonna set fire to franchise and watch that fucker burn to cinders with all the world cackling right along with me. I was to set the new gold standard in head coaching sabotage. It was to be mine and mine alone. I forced out a young franchise QB because I pined for fucking Matt Cassel, tried to smooth it over, then made it clear I still wanted Cassel. Then I didn’t do shit to address the defense, which was the problem in the first place.
I EVEN DEVELOPED THE SUPERAIDS
But in one fell swoop, it’s all been taken away from me. [Rubs eyes frantically] The Offseason of McDaniels has become the Offseason of Favre just. like. that. All my tireless work…squandered. I have to admit, it was a masterstroke, Childress. Bringing in a mortal franchise enemy, one who has nothing left in the tank, to helm your frustrated franchise. Gotta hand it to ya. That impressed even me. But you’re a one-trick pony, Childress.
Indeed. All is not lost. I can get the forces on chaos back on my side. A little more handiwork is just the ticket. I…I have it in me. No one licks Crazytrain McDaniels. Oh no.
DON’T THINK I CAN’T SIGN MICHAEL VICK AND PLAXICO
AND DONTE STALLWORTH AND MAURICE CLARETT
AND FUCK IT JEFF GEORGE
OH I CAN DO IT
I’M JUST CRAZY ENOUGH TO TRY
[Hyperventilates]
But that’s not all. You know how we gotta trot out those cunt ugly throwbacks for two games this season?
Yeah, the ones that make us look like a fucking Tecmo Bowl team. How’s about we make these babies permanent? That’ll drive our merch sales through the fucking floor. I mean, I know the Broncos already have ugly fucking jerseys, but look at these goddamn things. Mustard and brown. Think of the humiliation potential. It’s staggering.
That’s right. I didn’t even bother to swap out the Cutler jersey. In fact, I think I’ll make EVERY SINGLE PLAYER ON THE TEAM WEAR THE CUTLER JERSEY! And check out that shit-eating grin. You think you got one half that off-putting in you? I’d like to see it. You think you got that in ya? Do ya? You ain’t got shit.
Oh, you thought I was done?
We take it away naming rights for stadium away from Invesco.
No more Invesco Field at Mile High
Now: Raiders Stadium at Fuck You Denver
I can make it happen.
I just brought the noise, Brad.
Let’s see you headline every SportsCenter now.
[Stares wide-eyed at you for three minutes without speaking]
Tags: denver broncos, josh mcdaniels is an ubertard, paving the way to a Broncos/Vikings Super Bowl, xmas ape
May 7th, 2009 at 10:52 am
Raiders Stadium at Fuck You Denver = magic,
May 7th, 2009 at 10:53 am
You should also wear the same fake tan shit that Shanahan did. Or just go straight to blackface, either way, you got a tall climb ahead of you.
May 7th, 2009 at 10:54 am
Mcdaniels is a twatwaffle.
May 7th, 2009 at 10:56 am
I like cumstachioed cockbin even more than pussyflap. Well done.
May 7th, 2009 at 10:57 am
I think the obvious solution here is for McDaniels to sign Favre. To play D-Line.
May 7th, 2009 at 11:03 am
You’d be crazy too, if your name was Josh.
May 7th, 2009 at 11:12 am
Raiders Stadium at Fuck You Denver
Last two games I went to there it certainly was.
May 7th, 2009 at 11:14 am
Thanks for reminding me that my team is even more fucked than Drew’s team. I almost forgot yesterday.
May 7th, 2009 at 11:20 am
Calling Childress “Mr. Noodles” will always be funny, but now I have the Elmo’s world song stuck in my head. Thanks for that Ape.
May 7th, 2009 at 11:30 am
The throwback jerseys look like the result of SuperAids.
Also, Raiders Stadium at Fuck You Denver is priceless. Ape, if you are ever in Savannah, I’ll have to buy you a beer.
May 7th, 2009 at 11:47 am
It’s funny because it’s true. All of it.
Those throwbacks are frickin’ sweet, though.
May 7th, 2009 at 11:48 am
Dear Ape,
Thanks.
XOXO,
A sulking Broncos fan
May 7th, 2009 at 11:51 am
The throwbacks are megasweet, dude.
May 7th, 2009 at 11:53 am
COMPLETE THREADJACK
Manny Ramirez to be suspended for 50 games as a result of testing positive for PEDs
http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/news/story?id=4148907
Go Cards!
May 7th, 2009 at 11:53 am
Fuck yes. Our disaster is way better than your disaster.
/cries
May 7th, 2009 at 11:53 am
Gee, Ed Helms sure looks insane in those pictures.
Bet he calls Pat Bowlen “Tuna.”
May 7th, 2009 at 11:54 am
This guy makes Jason Garrett look like an elite head coaching candidate.
May 7th, 2009 at 11:56 am
How easily could he have just turned that jersey around?
“Look at it, faggots. Yeah, I forced him out, I don’t give a fuck. Look at this jersey. You like it? I’m fixing to go rape a drifter while wearing it, and I’m gonna wipe my dick off with it afterwards. Then I’m mailing it to Cassel. WE SHOULD HAVE BEEN TOGETHER…”
May 7th, 2009 at 12:00 pm
That pic was taken a month or so ago back when they anounced the legacy games and cutler was still a part of the team.
The sulking, crybaby bitch part of the team, but still part of it.
May 7th, 2009 at 12:07 pm
Raiders Stadium at Fuck You Denver
Please tell me there’s a billionaire on here that can make this happen.
May 7th, 2009 at 12:18 pm
As a Chiefs fan, this article will now be engraved on my gravestone.
May 7th, 2009 at 12:22 pm
Hahaha, I would like to see Vick, Plaxico, Clarett, and Stallworth play together. It’s so rare that the contrast between good and evil/shit for brains is so clear. Well you know, except when the Patriots are playing not-San-Diego and not-Oakland.
May 7th, 2009 at 12:27 pm
Same here, Squish.
Cry for me, Old Barrel Redneck! Cry!
May 7th, 2009 at 1:51 pm
Just when we forget about Captain Insano, you go ahead and remind us why the Broncos will be the team most likely to join the Lions in infamy.
May 7th, 2009 at 2:05 pm
Sure, laugh it up you fuckers. But if it can happen here, it can happen ANYWHERE. You don’t think Belichick has a whole stable full of incompetent flunkies to release upon the NFL? Because he does. Your city could be next.
May 7th, 2009 at 2:36 pm
Also, a personal thank you from me for giving us your top 5 pick next year for a fucking second rounder this year. Thank you thank you thank you!
May 7th, 2009 at 3:50 pm
As a Broncos fan, I have nothing to add here other than “fuck my life.”
May 7th, 2009 at 4:29 pm
Vikings fans and Broncos fans can at least agree that Bus Cook needs to get kicked in the nuts.
May 7th, 2009 at 4:35 pm
This may have been the most asinine post in KSK history, and that’s saying something.
May 7th, 2009 at 4:51 pm
WOOHOO! Most asinine! Take that, Drew, Maj, Caveman, flubby and Punter!
May 7th, 2009 at 5:35 pm
This post is of or relating to donkeys.
Asinine= of or relating to an ass (donkey)
Donkeys= alternate name for the Denver Broncos
Woo hoo! We’ve got a grammar rodeo!
May 7th, 2009 at 6:46 pm
*sniff* This post is beautiful. Because when your team gets fucked (and we’re talking about getting fucked for YEARS after this guy), all you can do is laugh.
PS. They signed another running back today. I think this makes 48.
May 7th, 2009 at 11:06 pm
I am so sorry for you Broncos fans… You are taking it well though. Beats denial!
PS I’m a Bears fan WooHoo!
May 8th, 2009 at 6:31 am
Speaking as a bitter Bengals fan living in Denver I revel in the pain of the Donkeys.
I would let Josh Mcdaniels come home and fuck my sister.
This is the greatest off season ever!!!
May 8th, 2009 at 9:55 am
HAHAHAHAHAHA
Belichick does have a whole stable full of incompetent flunkies to release upon the NFL. That was the plan all along BWWWHAHAHAHAHA Fuck the donkeys
May 9th, 2009 at 8:14 am
Gotta go with Squish and Otto on this one…I about cried when I saw “Raiders Stadium at Fuck You Denver” in print.
Ape, you just made baby Jesus smile…
May 19th, 2009 at 11:21 pm
This shit is supposed to be funny?