Live blog sneak attack!

We’re gonna be covering the finals of the Scripps National Spelling Bee, where the one Indian kid is gonna misspell one technical word with no application in everyday life and another Indian kid will correctly spell the term for a Greek unit of measurement in which each unit stands for the distance between orgies. Also, Erin Andrews making socially destitute young men fumble to hide their boner in their waistband! What’s that, you say? “The NBA Playoffs are going on tonight! That’s interesting!” Only if LeBron goes down in flames.