KSK Commenter Draft: A Great Work By a Terrible Artist
Inspiration on occasion strikes, lightning in a bottle-like, those utterly devoid of talent and/or shame. Even repugnant hacks who spew hackneyed product designed for mass consumption strike gold once in a while on something that is both an artistic and commercial success. These works are as frustrating as they are rewarding, coming as they do from people who stumbled upon greatness, almost despite what they set out to do. Or maybe they just generally suck and got lucky. It’s a reminder of the capricious nature of inspiration in art. And it’s these fluky works of greatness that spring from the seed of fuckwittery that you are identifying in this draft. You’re looking for a memorably good movie, song, album, performance, book, painting, etc. from an otherwise lackluster or forgettable body of work.
My first pick is “30 Rock”. The artist: Tina Fey
There are more outrageous examples of hacks striking gold, but this one is particularly knotty for me, as it’s been difficult for me to reconcile my admiration of this show with my distaste for Tina Fey. Fey’s reign as the head writer for SNL presided over some of the worst years of the show. She was incredibly obnoxious on the Weekend Update desk, where she would get bubbly and high five Amy Poehler after all the jokes. It was grating. What made it worse were the scores of media profiles extolling her job as anchor and lead writer, glossing over the generally horrible quality of the shows. That treatment followed into her other projects. Mean Girls, however uninteresting, was generally well received and a box office success – though in a country where Night at the Museum 2 pulls in $70-plus million in a weekend. I’ve never seen Baby Mama and probably don’t need to. Recently, Fey got heaps of praise for the Sarah Palin character during the election, but has there ever been lower hanging fruit in comedy? I mean, people were already saying the Palin and Fey looked alike before one sketch was ever produced. The association was there, people just needed it to be actualized. That’s not to say Tina didn’t get the impression down, it was sound, but it hardly warranted the overwhelming pan-pop-cultural recognition.
But “30 Rock”. Ouf. It’s very, very good and only so much of that can I explain away with Alec Baldwin’s and Tracy Morgan’s genius on the show. Not as much as I would like. Bottom line, the show is very well written, and Fey deserves a lot of credit for that. And, Fey, after all, is the creator and star as well. A friend of mine and I are vocal in our dislike of Tina Fey, but we’re both dumbstruck and quiet on the subject of “30 Rock”. We just have to shrug and give her her due.
Tags: Ape hates Tina Fey more than I hate Seth Meyers, ksk commenter drafts, xmas ape
May 29th, 2009 at 9:06 am
Fight Club by Chuck Palahniuk.
/ducks
May 29th, 2009 at 9:11 am
Kevin Spacey in Usual Suspects. I cannot watch anything he’s been in since.
May 29th, 2009 at 9:12 am
Metallica, St. Anger
/draft
May 29th, 2009 at 9:13 am
Shit, strike that, I misread the draft. Fuck me, I’m a moron.
May 29th, 2009 at 9:13 am
This post – Ape
/ducks
May 29th, 2009 at 9:13 am
The first “Vacation” movie. Christmas Vacation was o.k., but European and Vegas Vacation were fucking terrible.
May 29th, 2009 at 9:14 am
“Somebody Told Me” – The Killers
May 29th, 2009 at 9:17 am
@ WMAD – I’d say that whole album looks to be the case judging from the dumps they called albums since.
May 29th, 2009 at 9:17 am
mark paul gosselar – dead man on campus
some people eat bugs, blllleeeeeaaaa
May 29th, 2009 at 9:22 am
Cedric Benson’s 171-yard game in Cleveland last year in Week 16.
/cost me my fantasy championship
//still bitter
May 29th, 2009 at 9:23 am
Saving Private Ryan – Vin Diesel.
May 29th, 2009 at 9:23 am
This is easy: the Wachowskis and Matrix 1. Look at their IMDB pages some time, it’s a list of crap and Matrix 1.
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0905152/
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0905154/
Okay, “Bound” has some great nudity, but other than that it’s almost unwatchable. The Matrix sequels suck more the more you think about them, “V for Vendetta” was one of the most unintentionally funny movies I’ve ever seen, and then we come to “Speed Racer”. They are pretentious morons who happened to make one of the best action movies ever.
May 29th, 2009 at 9:24 am
Franz Ferdinand, “Take Me Out”. They’re a fucking abortion of a band but great song
May 29th, 2009 at 9:25 am
Re: 30 Rock / SNL – well, look at the way she writes TGS (the fictional show being produced on 30 Rock). The sketches are terrible, the stars are prima donnas, and her co-writers aren’t funny (except Frank). Maybe Tina Fey thought SNL sucked too.
May 29th, 2009 at 9:30 am
Muse – Knights of Cydonia. that song is amazing, but christ does the rest of that album suck.
May 29th, 2009 at 9:31 am
Mitchell Hurwitz – Arrested Development went went
W
T
W
May 29th, 2009 at 9:32 am
Rocky – Sylvester Stallone. All the following Rocky films sucked increasing degrees of ass, and the Rambo films could have been made by Vin Diesel had he been around then. The first Rocky, however, will always stand as a classic.
May 29th, 2009 at 9:33 am
Catch-22, Joseph Heller.
/have tried reading ‘Something Happened’? jeebus, it’s terrible.
May 29th, 2009 at 9:34 am
wouldn’t everyone involved with Seinfeld besides Larry David fit here?
btw, I’m shaking my fist at Ape for besmirching the good name of Tina Fey. the woman is a national treasure.
May 29th, 2009 at 9:36 am
@ UU
Christmas Vacation was classic man…the other two sucked but Randy Quaid as Cousin Eddie was fucking priceless..”Merry Christmas..Shitter’s full”
May 29th, 2009 at 9:37 am
Michael Cera and Jonah Hill – Superbad
They were never as good or non-annoying as they were in this movie before nor were they after.
May 29th, 2009 at 9:39 am
The 2008-2009 Arizona Cardinals
@tbone, sure Christmas Vacation had a few funny lines but over all I didn’t think it was too funny.
May 29th, 2009 at 9:40 am
Fast and the Furious – the first one was pretty good…the rest were pointless but I’ve not seen the last one
May 29th, 2009 at 9:41 am
Joe namath, super bowl III
Average at best qb. Wins “the most important game ever” but was more hype than anything.
However did provide a great website name.
May 29th, 2009 at 9:42 am
No love for Cera on Arrested Development? Shame on you
May 29th, 2009 at 9:43 am
Rainn Wilson – Dwight on the Office, anyone seen the last mimzy, i wanted to punch myself in the eyes. And juno, decent film, his performance was forced and awful. Dwight, gold, fucking gold every episode.
May 29th, 2009 at 9:44 am
Incubus. Check out their early work/first LP called “Enjoy.” Its really weird funk metal or something. Actually pretty good. Now they are a ghey, frat boy, ballad band.
@ Mo Charlo: I agree and would include Palahniuk after his first few books. Fight Club, Choke and Survivor were good. Everything since is shit.
May 29th, 2009 at 9:44 am
Eli Manning – XLII
May 29th, 2009 at 9:46 am
The Rock – Nicholas Cage.
Not that he was good in it or anything, but I do love that movie.
May 29th, 2009 at 9:47 am
Dirty Dancing with Jennifer Grey
Has she done anything but get a nose job since?
May 29th, 2009 at 9:48 am
Jennifer Lopez- Out of Sight
That movie is fucking great but everything else I’ve had to suffer through for the wife’s sake were designed to be replayed on Oxygen and Lifetime every weekend for the rest of time.
May 29th, 2009 at 9:48 am
christopher lambert, the highlander
May 29th, 2009 at 9:49 am
Slanketeer has never seen Six Feet Under. For shame.
May 29th, 2009 at 9:49 am
Brady Anderson – 1996 roid season where he hit 50 HR
May 29th, 2009 at 9:50 am
Jimmie “J.J” Walker from Good Times, he was great on that show.
If it wasn’t for today’s post over at Walkoff Walk I would have forgotten he was still alive.
May 29th, 2009 at 9:51 am
Boatdrinks- Yes, and it was glorious.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/It%27s_Like,_You_Know…
May 29th, 2009 at 9:54 am
Blue Velvet, by David Lynch.
Seriously, rest of his career sucks
May 29th, 2009 at 9:54 am
Ed O’Neil as Al Bundy
He’s terrible as anything else.
May 29th, 2009 at 9:54 am
sarah michelle gellar – BTVS
I think this is one of those situations (and there are a lot of them, I think) where you have an “actor” who can’t really act, but who basically is the character they are portraying, so they come across as brilliant. But then you see them in something else and you’re all “meh” or “ugh” or “bleech”.
May 29th, 2009 at 9:55 am
Craig Mack – Flava in Ya Ear. Best song in 1994. What the hell has he done since?
Exactly.
May 29th, 2009 at 9:55 am
Lock Stock Two Smocking Barrels – Guy Ritchie
May 29th, 2009 at 9:55 am
Namath was lousy in SBIII.
“Bizarre Ride II the Pharcyde.” by The Pharcyde. Their second album was merely okay and they fell apart after that. How can a band with only four albums release a “Best of” collection? But “Bizarre Ride” was the absolute shit. I’ve burned through one cassette (I’m old, fuck you) and two CDs of that record.
May 29th, 2009 at 9:55 am
One more before some actual work. There were/are so many SNL people to choose from, but I’ll take Dennis Miller. Everything he has done since has really just been him doing weekend update, but without Franken & davis or A. Whitney Brown to help write his shtick
May 29th, 2009 at 9:57 am
can i take shows that fox has cancelled being better than shows fox currently airs?
May 29th, 2009 at 9:58 am
@Mo Charlo:
I agree that Nick Cage has become a terrible artist, but I don’t think one can classify his performance in The Rock as a great work. It doesn’t measure up to his work in Leaving Las Vegas, Raising Arizona or even Valley Girl.
May 29th, 2009 at 9:58 am
UM: Ummmm. They didn’t even show all the original episodes?? Oh dear.
That sounds like Smith, with Ray Liotta. The violence factor was apparently ramping toooooo rapidly. I think I saw five or so episodes.
May 29th, 2009 at 9:59 am
@tracerbullet
I would say that Namath gets most of the credit for the win, no matter how good or bad he eas in the game.
May 29th, 2009 at 9:59 am
eminem: slim shady LP – definitely in my top 5 of rap albums. everything else he has done, not so much.
May 29th, 2009 at 10:00 am
the injury to Tom Brady by Bernard Pollard
May 29th, 2009 at 10:01 am
Damn, I just realized …. we need a Britney Spears moment. What was the naughty school girl moment? That was the highlight I assume?
May 29th, 2009 at 10:01 am
“The Departed” – Leo Dicaprio
/still sees him as the little shit from Titanic
May 29th, 2009 at 10:01 am
@claude balls- I should’ve said Raising Arizona.
Ice Cube in Boyz in the Hood. Only talking about his acting.
/”The dude that makes family movies?!” -Riley Freeman
May 29th, 2009 at 10:02 am
My parents. Why they had my idiot brother after me, I’ll never know.
/I keed I keed.
May 29th, 2009 at 10:03 am
Henry Rollins, great in Black Flag but fuck that spoken word shit.
May 29th, 2009 at 10:04 am
@ Rob in WI: I agree completely, but I don’t think it was a moment of brilliance. It was another fairly terrible game from a generally terrible QB.
May 29th, 2009 at 10:04 am
Paul Carrack on Squeeze’s “Tempted”
Every other song w/ Ace, Mike + The Mechanics and his solo stuff sucks ass
May 29th, 2009 at 10:04 am
@Optimus Prime Minister: +1
May 29th, 2009 at 10:05 am
Sum 41’s cover of “For Whom the Bell Tolls” at the MTV Legends thing for Metallica. Snotty pop-punk band who actually did a great metal song justice. Whod’a thunk it?
May 29th, 2009 at 10:05 am
@slothrop
Great pick with Heller – my favorite pick of the draft so far. I have reread Catch 22 at least 7 times. Meanwhile, everything else I have read by him, including Closing Time: The Sequel to Catch 22 has sucked.
May 29th, 2009 at 10:05 am
Greenday: American Idiot
Yes, I’m serious. It’s a suprisingly good album from a band that was awful for years and has been awful since. They were also the first big-time act to take obvious shots at the Bush administration. No big deal now, but it took some serious balls to do it within a couple years of 9/11.
May 29th, 2009 at 10:07 am
@StuScottBooyahs
Have you not seen Snatch?
May 29th, 2009 at 10:09 am
Wow, good post. I could waste an entire day on this topic (and I may just do that).
I’ll go with Jack Kerouac. Did he do anything readable after “On the Road”?
May 29th, 2009 at 10:09 am
Wolfgang Puck, Spago.
Spago remains a very, very good restaurant. But noooo, that’s not enough, you have to dilute the brand by expanding it across the country, putting your cardboard-flavored frozen pizzas in every grocery store in America, and going on the Home Shopping Network to shill your flimsy cookware.
May 29th, 2009 at 10:10 am
John Singleton. He got a Best Director nomination for “Boyz N The Hood.” This is what he’s done since. Blech:
# Poetic Justice (1993)
# Higher Learning (1995)
# Rosewood (1997)
# Shaft (2000)
# Baby Boy (2001)
# 2 Fast 2 Furious (2003)
# Four Brothers
May 29th, 2009 at 10:10 am
Have you not seen Snatch?
Yeah yeah I know, but all of his other works suck so much shit.
May 29th, 2009 at 10:11 am
Tom Cruise in Tropic Thunder. A hack way past his prime (Magnolia was his last good role) and the movie was TERRIBLE except for his surprisingly funny cameo.
May 29th, 2009 at 10:11 am
Suicidal Tendencies. Their first album was hardcore as FUCK! Everything else after was weak, wanna-be metal.
@UU: you should check out some early Rollins Band stuff (pre- End of Silence). Solid work.
May 29th, 2009 at 10:13 am
John Cusack in …
Never mind he sucks in everything.
May 29th, 2009 at 10:13 am
American Psycho – Bret Easton Ellis
example of Less Than Zero narration: “I woke up. I was hungover. Trent was in bed with me. He smelled like come. I didn’t know if we’d had sex. I snorted some coke. I smoked a cigarette. I love Judy.”
fin
May 29th, 2009 at 10:14 am
Wolfgang Puck, Spago.
Have you been to any of his other restaurants?
May 29th, 2009 at 10:15 am
@StuScottBooyahs
Uh High Fidelity
May 29th, 2009 at 10:15 am
Pulp Fiction – John Travolta
I don’t think we really appreciate just how shitty a body of work this guy has.
May 29th, 2009 at 10:17 am
Sam Peckinpah, the Wild Bunch
The only thing close is The Killer Elite, maybe the Getaway or Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Garcia, but none of these are “Awesome” like the Wild Bunch. Everything else is a trainwreck.
May 29th, 2009 at 10:17 am
@Deeznutz, I’ve seen snatch lots of times. Oh wait you are talking about the movie, never mind
May 29th, 2009 at 10:18 am
@Maj: I’ve been to Trattoria del Lupo in Las Vegas. It was OK. I liked Spago better.
May 29th, 2009 at 10:18 am
How can we forget Paula Abdul? That album with Krazy Kat back in the 90s had to be the highlight of her career. The painkillers, booze and plastic surgery have wiped out any semblance of relevance since then.
May 29th, 2009 at 10:18 am
SSB: Awwwwww. Say Anything was a classic. Classic what, I don’t know.
I am thinking my next pick is Kenny Chesney. Last good work, No Shirt, No Shoes, No Problem. Since then, nothing that doesn’t sound like everything else, but not as good. Grow as an artist man.
May 29th, 2009 at 10:20 am
Archie and Olivia Manning. Followed Peyton with Eli and Conner. Should have quit while they were ahead.
May 29th, 2009 at 10:20 am
Batista vs. Chris Jericho in the cage from RAW last year. Batista otherwise suuuuuucks, but he had a good match with Jericho. Maybe it’s because it was Chris Jericho as his opponent. Regardless, it stands.
May 29th, 2009 at 10:21 am
At the risk of having Jason Whitlock write an article about what an idiot I am…
Spike Lee, “Do The Right Thing.” Look, he’s had some OK movies since (”Clockers” was pretty nice), but does anyone else in Hollywood get to make whatever the fuck they want with such impunity, based on little more than… uh… what, exactly? His shit doesn’t even do well at the box office.
May 29th, 2009 at 10:21 am
@Mo charlo: Have you not seen Friday? Agreed on the other movies though.
May 29th, 2009 at 10:21 am
As much as I hate to say it,
Broken Lizard and Supertroopers.
They’ve never been as funny, Machete Phil aside.
May 29th, 2009 at 10:21 am
Chinois is about as good as it gets.
May 29th, 2009 at 10:23 am
Danny DeVito in It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia.
FACT: IASIP > Matilda.
May 29th, 2009 at 10:24 am
“Stone Cold” Steve Austin, he set the world on fire for three years, then became a caricature of himself.
May 29th, 2009 at 10:24 am
@Maj: Ah. I’m not a huge fan of Asian food so I’ve skipped that one.
May 29th, 2009 at 10:24 am
@ Desean:
Beerfest didn’t give you a ZJ?
May 29th, 2009 at 10:25 am
I hate Dane Cook 1000 times more than Ape hates Tina Fey. The man is one of the least funny comedians in the history of unfunny comedy. He make loud noises and screams a lot, sure. He runs around the stage with a manic energy, yes. And he does say outrageous things. But none of them are funny. In the slightest. He sucks ass, and yet has somehow convince a legion of retards to buy so many of his CDs and DVDs that he is the most commercially successful comedian of all time. More successful that Pryor. More successful that Carlin. Than Kinison. Than Rock. I could go on, but I am about to throw up.
I hate Dane Cook, that unworthy fuck.
That said, he did not totally suck in Mr. Brooks.
May 29th, 2009 at 10:25 am
@ Whowillsexmutombo?: “Inside Man” grossed more than $100 million domestically.
May 29th, 2009 at 10:26 am
Keith Olberman, the ESPN years.
May 29th, 2009 at 10:27 am
@MUDaveFan: Taxi, Heist, One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest, throw Mama From the Train, Goin’ Ape?
May 29th, 2009 at 10:28 am
@Tracer Bullet,
Cooper Manning is the oldest. Then comes Peyton and Eli. They must’ve put Conner up for adoption with Danieal and Ricky.
May 29th, 2009 at 10:30 am
@Hawkins
While good in those…outshone by Kaufmann in Taxi, Nicholson dominated Cuckoo’s, Crystal killed in Throw Mama, and I have never seen Goin’ Ape.
May 29th, 2009 at 10:30 am
Casper Van Dien: Starship Troopers has to be height of his acting ability and that was 12 years and 28 movies ago. Lack of talent personified.
Agreed with Tracer Bullet on Inside Man and “X” was an outstanding film that should have gotten Denzel Washington another Academy award for his impeccable performance of Malcolm X, but since that wouldn’t have been a popular decision in Hollywood, the movie and the performance was ignored by the MSM.
/off soap-box now
May 29th, 2009 at 10:30 am
@Tracer: That’s one. Got another?
Also… Matthew McConaughey.
I love Wooderson as much as the next guy, but jesus, he’s a walking chick flick…
May 29th, 2009 at 10:30 am
*convinced
*than Pryor … than Carlin
giving in to rage does not make for good typing
May 29th, 2009 at 10:31 am
Jennifer Aniston – Friends. I hated the show “Friends” and never watched it, but I recognize that people liked it. But the fact that Jennifer Aniston got popular and gets work after that show is astounding. Sure, I’d hit it, but she is just a shitty actress who happened to be on a very popular show at one time. She should start doing the world a favor and start doing MILF porn before she gets too fucking haggard…..
Compliments, by the way, on some good picks here (the Spike Lee pick was fucking inspired…).
May 29th, 2009 at 10:31 am
@MUDaveFan
You haven’t seen Death to Smoochy, have you?
May 29th, 2009 at 10:31 am
Gone Baby Gone, Directed by Ben Affleck.
He’s terrible in just about everything, but I think this was a damn fine movie.
May 29th, 2009 at 10:31 am
@J4B- Friday spawned the sequels and was only saved by Chris Tucker.
@Whowillsexmutombo- Show love for He Got Game, or prepare to die.
@JohnDewar- Thank you.
Shaquille O’Neal – Blue Chips
May 29th, 2009 at 10:32 am
Stuscottbooyahs – You seen Rocknrolla?
and FozzieBear – AI was made in Sept of 2004. I can’t even begin to list the artists that took shots at Bush prior to that. Christ Even the Dixie Chicks beat Green Day to that punch. Not saying AI wasn’t a great album, just saying it wasn’t ground breakin in the regard you said it to be.
May 29th, 2009 at 10:33 am
Speaking of Death to Smoochy… Catherine Keener in Death to Smoochy. She’s boring and flat in any other movie she’s been in. But in DtS… she was a great supporting character to guys like Norton, Robin Williams, DeVito and the dude who played Spinner Dunn.
May 29th, 2009 at 10:34 am
@WWSM – Time to Kill, NO?
May 29th, 2009 at 10:36 am
Postal- Affleck should have gotten a nomination for Best Director. Odd as it seems.
May 29th, 2009 at 10:36 am
As for Spike Lee’s impact on the Malcolm X story….let’s just say if you’ve read Malcolm X’s autobiography, I don’t think it would have taken a genius director to make his life story interesting. That movie was all Denzel and you guys know it.
May 29th, 2009 at 10:37 am
The South.
Put on a good showing for a few years from 1861 to 1863, but has all been downhill since. Still looking for that elusive Civil War championship ring, ended up on the wrong side of history with Civil Rights (thanks Willam Dafoe and Gene Hackman!), and brought us Newt Gingrich.
May 29th, 2009 at 10:38 am
@Whowillsexmutombo: What they said.
@ DaydreamBilliever: Good point, however, the fact remains that they’ve had one great effort and a series of flops. Like Ice Cube’s acting career.
May 29th, 2009 at 10:39 am
the 2007 New York Giants – artist: Eli “i’m a retard” Manning….the worst SB champion ever…and they ruined the best single season in sports history by a team in the Patriots
May 29th, 2009 at 10:40 am
@ Remember
Already taken
May 29th, 2009 at 10:43 am
The 2008 Tampa Bay Rays
May 29th, 2009 at 10:44 am
Sorry, I got distracted. MUDaveFan, did you just imply that you liked Magnolia? Holy hell, that is an awful movie.
May 29th, 2009 at 10:45 am
Macaulay Culkin – Home Alone
May 29th, 2009 at 10:46 am
Jon Lovitz in The Critic. The rest of his work is mediocre at best. The DVD set of the entire series has yet to get old.
May 29th, 2009 at 10:49 am
Better than Ezra – Deluxe
May 29th, 2009 at 10:50 am
J.R. Tolkien: The Lord of the Rings If you say the Hobbit you’re getting a smackdown.
May 29th, 2009 at 10:53 am
John Travolta in Pulp Fiction.
His oeuvre prior to that was limited to disco, boy-in-bubble, and talking baby movies. Pulp Fiction was his “comeback,” which then spawned a bunch of terrible action films, laughable dramatic roles, and Scientology vanity projects. He’s never more irritating than when he’s cast as the loose cannon “bad guy” (Broken Arrow, Face/Off, the upcoming remake of Pelham 123). With the possible exception of “Get Shorty,” his post-Pulp Fiction work has been crap. But for some reason, Vincent Vega just worked, and worked well. But he’s been banking on that for 15 years.
May 29th, 2009 at 10:53 am
Jon Stewart on The Daily Show. He was terrible before, and if he ends up taking over for Letterman or moving on to something else, he’ll be terrible afterwards, but with the Daily Show’s format, he is fucking brilliant.
May 29th, 2009 at 10:53 am
Steve Burns. Yeah you were great on Blue’s Clues for 6 years and my son still watches your work to this day. And when you “went off to college” we were expecting big things from you, but you sir have done nothing with your life except give us your goofy brother Joe who went and f’d up the show. Good job.
And your Indie music has done what exactly?
May 29th, 2009 at 10:54 am
@Crosshare I dunno, I think the OXFORD ENGLISH DICTIONARY is fucking okay.
May 29th, 2009 at 10:54 am
To bring some culture to the draft, One Day In The Life Of Ivan Denisovich is the only good piece of fiction Alexander Solzhenitsyn wrote in his life, and I make the fiction distinction. I haven’t read his political writing, so I can’t judge on that, but his fictional stuff was otherwise fairly dull.
May 29th, 2009 at 10:54 am
Helena – My Chemical Romance
May 29th, 2009 at 10:55 am
Apologies to Stu Scott..thought I was in the clear when I picked Travolta. BooYah on me indeed.
May 29th, 2009 at 10:55 am
The individual members of the Beatles.
Sure, there was that 10 year period where they completely revolutionized modern music and essentially changed the world as we know it, but their solo work? Christ.
May 29th, 2009 at 10:57 am
Al Qaeda.
They reach critical acclaim in the asshole terrorist community with 9/11 and since then haven’t done anything except toss a backpack full of grenades onto some subway in Spain, and make angry home video tapes.
May 29th, 2009 at 10:57 am
The Sixth Sense – Shyamalan
(how is this still on the board?)
May 29th, 2009 at 10:58 am
That girl I used to girl I used to screw in highschool. I haven’t really been keeping tabs on her or anything, but if she’s not blowing me anymore I can’t imagine she’s doing too much with herself.
May 29th, 2009 at 10:59 am
“Unbreakable” was pretty good.
May 29th, 2009 at 10:59 am
Unsilent – I agree. Affleck probably deserved a nomination for that. Nothing else, ever, including his win for “Good Will Hunting”(like he wrote it), but for Gone Baby Gone, it was deserved.
May 29th, 2009 at 11:00 am
“In a Funny Way” by Mercury Rev. Every other song by this band is completely horrible.
May 29th, 2009 at 11:01 am
Ben Affleck in Boiler Room. He was decent in Good Will Hunting but let’s be honest, he’s a hack.
May 29th, 2009 at 11:02 am
@FozzieBear: Um, Pearl Jam was all over Bush from the get go.
May 29th, 2009 at 11:02 am
“Ten” by Pearl Jam.
Great CD. Everything they touched since has sucked.
May 29th, 2009 at 11:03 am
Lauryn Hill.
The Fugees stuff was alright, but Miseducation was a phenomenal album, all the way through, and then she followed it up with an acoustic CD and a vow of silence. WTF?
May 29th, 2009 at 11:04 am
James Gandolfini and the Sopranos. Yes, I’ve seen some of his Broadway stuff and other movies, and I haven’t come away wowed.
May 29th, 2009 at 11:07 am
Robin Williams. In anything.
Let’s be honest – he was probably better when he was coked up in the early 80’s, but I was probably too young to be paying attention to anything he did other than Mork from Ork.
May 29th, 2009 at 11:08 am
@Whowillsexmutombo? – re: Spike Lee… I’m no huge fan of his work but let’s not forget “Inside Man” with Clive Owen and Denzel Washington: one of the better bank robbery flicks in awhile
May 29th, 2009 at 11:08 am
William Gibson’s Neuromancer. Everything else he’s written has been a pale imitation of this masterpiece.
May 29th, 2009 at 11:09 am
Justin Long in whatever that tv show was. That kid is a turd.
May 29th, 2009 at 11:09 am
@ Jay
Cancer Ward and Matryona’s Place are decent works, not on par with “a day in the life” though. I read them in Russian, so I don’t know how much of a difference that made. However his writing regarding the state of communism is probably his best work other than “a day in the life.”
May 29th, 2009 at 11:09 am
Just A Friend – Biz Markie
May 29th, 2009 at 11:11 am
Don’t you dare disparage “The Vapors.”
May 29th, 2009 at 11:12 am
Kirstie Alley – Cheers —— Some would argue that when Rebecca showed up, the show got better from the “Diane Days”. Even more would argue that Kirstie Alley never did anything even remotely good after that, went from early-90s hot to 00s ogre, and probably ate Diane Chambers along the way.
May 29th, 2009 at 11:13 am
The Offspring – Smash
May 29th, 2009 at 11:15 am
edvard munch – the scream
May 29th, 2009 at 11:17 am
@ slims – Completely disagree about Lovitz. One of the funniest SNL members ever, hilariously memorable guest star on Friends and Seinfeld, great supporting role in A League of Their Own, and he punched Andy Dick out. What’s not to love about that guy?
/yeah, that’s the ticket.
May 29th, 2009 at 11:17 am
The Offspring – Smash
co-fucking-sign
Geezuz they sucked after that.
May 29th, 2009 at 11:18 am
Joss Wedon – Firefly
May 29th, 2009 at 11:19 am
For my second pick I’ll take (former!) President Bush’s ceremonial first pitch at Yankee Stadium in Game 3 of the 2001 World Series. God knows the man was a fuckup in every possible way both before and since that moment, but that strike he threw was truly a thing of beauty.
May 29th, 2009 at 11:19 am
@Mark
Ixnaye on the Hombre isn’t bad, but Smash was a great album. After those two it has been a shitfest.
May 29th, 2009 at 11:21 am
I am grossly under-qualified for this. Fuck, don’t you people do anything outside ever?
@grungedave: Take that back. Pearl Jam is the greatest band ever. Even if you don’t agree, Vs. and Vitology were great albums as well. And the best live show you will ever see. NO ONE DENIES THIS.
I honestly can’t think of anything to draft. I suck.
May 29th, 2009 at 11:22 am
I’m miffed by a lot of these picks. Muse? That album was great…I do agree that KoC was the best part of it tho. Pearl Jam? Get real…they’re best stuff came after Vs. Let me guess…Nirvana fan?
My pick? Linkin Park – Hybrid Theory
I don’t view it as “revolutionary” as some do. I thought it was a solid album from guys who couldn’t figure out which hole to stick it in. They’ve proven that with they’re recent work.
May 29th, 2009 at 11:23 am
@claude balls +1 on the Dane Cook….fuck that fucking hack, but he was definitely decent and believable in Mr. Brooks. Maybe he just works for me in roles that I get to see him killed in?
May 29th, 2009 at 11:23 am
William Shatner. Star Trek the series and subsequent movies aside, your career has been mainly TJ Hooker, Rescue 911 and Boston Legal (whatever), although you have kept busy. The Priceline negotiator commercials are funny, but they are not movies or TV and thus don’t count. You sir are and will always be Captain James T. Kirk.
/pigeonholed
May 29th, 2009 at 11:24 am
I also thought 25th Hour was another good Spike Lee film.
May 29th, 2009 at 11:24 am
Cuba Gooding Jr — was great in Jerry Maguire, sucked in everything else. Now relegated to shitty kids’ movies.
May 29th, 2009 at 11:25 am
I apologize for my 6 feet under fail, i’ve been busy being warm and drinking wine AT THE SAME TIME
May 29th, 2009 at 11:28 am
Barack Obama – November 4, 2008
I think it’s safe to say it’s been downhill since then, and that the trend will continue through 2012
May 29th, 2009 at 11:31 am
Will Leitch on Deadspin
May 29th, 2009 at 11:31 am
Kevin Costner – Bull Durham
/could’ve also gone with Time Robbins had it not been for Shawshank
May 29th, 2009 at 11:33 am
Young MC – Bust a move
/best I got for now
May 29th, 2009 at 11:34 am
Chevy Chase after Caddyshack.
May 29th, 2009 at 11:34 am
mrpeanut – he got a dog. That’s pretty cool. Plus, you know, eat shit.
May 29th, 2009 at 11:36 am
Most any two term President’s 2nd term
May 29th, 2009 at 11:37 am
“My Girls” by Animal Collective.
Can’t get into most of their work but I dig this song. Shut it, hipsters.
May 29th, 2009 at 11:37 am
Mark Hamill….Star Wars?
May 29th, 2009 at 11:38 am
How about Leonard Nimoy as Spock.
Anything else the guy does is pure crap, but at least he’s built a life on 1 character.
May 29th, 2009 at 11:38 am
Tone Loc…for…everything
May 29th, 2009 at 11:39 am
@ mrpeanut: eat a dick up till ya hiccup.
May 29th, 2009 at 11:42 am
Oliver Stone. Platoon
everything else is either crap or too conspiracy ridden to be worth it.
May 29th, 2009 at 11:44 am
Seth McFarlane
Some may disagree, but everything other than Family Guy (and ever parts of that is lackluster at times) seems to blow. If it weren’t for FOX and that time slot, American Dad would probably fail on any other network as a stand alone show.
May 29th, 2009 at 11:45 am
Chinese Food – Chinese People
May 29th, 2009 at 11:49 am
@adam – same with mexicans
May 29th, 2009 at 11:50 am
Paris Hilton in her “debut” film role.
She never did much for me, still doesn’t do much for me, but if that video were to flash on my screen, I will sit there mesmerized.
May 29th, 2009 at 11:51 am
@ jackin & merk
Most people who defend our president don’t have the stones to say “he’s done a great job,” they only say “it’s too early to judge.” It is too early, but still that’s a weak defense for someone who promised to save the world from all it’s ails with the wave of a hand, so I stand by my pick.
Now for my next pick:
Justin Long – Mac Commercials
Somebody in Apple’s marketing department seriously picked JUSTIN LONG to be their “hip” frontman…
May 29th, 2009 at 11:52 am
Carry on Wayward Son by Kansas.
Surprised this is still on the board. Let’s face it, the rest of their shit (especially Dust in the Wind) sucks.
May 29th, 2009 at 11:55 am
Pick number three will be Kevin Federline’s commercial for Nationwide during Superbowl XLI. Almost funny enough to make me forgive him for RUINING the most desirable woman on the planet.
May 29th, 2009 at 11:58 am
“The one to be with you” by Mr. Big.
The song sucks, but there’s nothing else you need to have on your iPod to get a sorority girl to blow you.
May 29th, 2009 at 11:59 am
Marlon Wayans – Requiem for a Dream
May 29th, 2009 at 12:01 pm
It is too early, but still that’s a weak defense for someone who promised to save the world from all it’s ails with the wave of a hand, so I stand by my pick.
And who exactly promised that? Have you ever listened to one of Obama’s speeches? He makes more references to “the long haul” than that Ice Truckers show.
Turn off Fox News. It’s only making you dumber.
May 29th, 2009 at 12:04 pm
Churchill – WWII
His pre-war career was subpar, ask the Aussies about Galipoli. and his return to power after the war was a failure. But right guy at the right time once.
May 29th, 2009 at 12:06 pm
this draft is a big improvement on the “bad scene in a good movie” one. Still: Something Happened is great.
Stubone makes a good call w/ the Second Term curse: Bush’s nightmare 2nd term, Clinton’s impeachment, Reagan’s Iran-Contra, Nixon’s Watergate, etc. Howabout JFK for the Missile Crisis. Sucked before (the Bay of Pigs fuckup made the missile crisis happen in the first place!) and after, but damned if he didn’t avoid a nuclear war.
Also, Mark Wahlberg in I Heart Huckabees. He’s never been anything better than servicable in any other film, but he’s aweomse in that one.
May 29th, 2009 at 12:08 pm
Jon Heder in Napoleon Dynamite. The perfect role for him, but he’s worthless doing anything else. You could say the same thing for the guy who played Pedro…
May 29th, 2009 at 12:08 pm
The A-10 Warthog, by the U.S. Military.
Name something more awesome that flies. DO IT.
May 29th, 2009 at 12:09 pm
ralph macchio – karate kid
May 29th, 2009 at 12:09 pm
Group Home – Living Proof (1995)
Could a lesser pair of mush mouth mc’s be found anywhere i doubt it and yet this album, their debut stands as one of the most bizzare inceptions of classic work in hip hop. Utterly astounding really. Goes to show the simple genious of one DJ PREMIER
May 29th, 2009 at 12:10 pm
PoFlaWa. I’m out.
May 29th, 2009 at 12:10 pm
Alicia Silverstone – Clueless. WTF has she done since?
May 29th, 2009 at 12:11 pm
I understand you may not appreciate Wahlberg as an actor other than i heat huckabees, but if you cant appreciate the magic he made as marky mark of marky mark and the funky bunch (good vibrations), you cant find joy.
May 29th, 2009 at 12:13 pm
Korn. First album. The whole album rips, and then he does the ‘my daddy fucked me’ song. I probably broke the rules of the draft, but whatever.
May 29th, 2009 at 12:13 pm
larry brown – superbowl XXX
May 29th, 2009 at 12:14 pm
@Michael Vick’s Kennel Klub.: The F-117 Nighthawk and the F-22 Raptor? You see, you actually have to be able to get it on radar to kill it. The radar cross section of these planes make them almost impossible to get a lock on.
/engineer’d
May 29th, 2009 at 12:14 pm
“The one to be with you” by Mr. Big.
The song sucks, but there’s nothing else you need to have on your Walkman to get a sorority girl to blow you.
Fixed.
May 29th, 2009 at 12:15 pm
larry brown – superbowl XXX
I know where you’re going with this one, but I don’t even know if this counts. Is it a great performance is all he had to do was stand there and let O’Donnell hit him in the chest?
/cries
May 29th, 2009 at 12:16 pm
John Henson- Talk Soup.
The show was hilarious with Henson. Then he left and did nothing for years. Now he’s the color announcer on WIPEOUT.
Good idea.
May 29th, 2009 at 12:18 pm
Don Larsen’s perfect game in the 1956 World Series.
http://www.baseball-reference.com/players/l/larsedo01.shtml
May 29th, 2009 at 12:18 pm
@christmas ape
He could have dropped them I guess. I think I remember from Pearlman’s book that he basically never caught anything in practice. Maybe I made that up, not sure. Either way, he was a terrible CB who I would usually bench/trade in all of the Madden games I had for Sega in the mid 90s
May 29th, 2009 at 12:19 pm
@johndewar: this may be true, but can either of those eat a missile and fly home on one engine with no tail? probably not. Also, the plane was designed around a GUN. a GUN larger than most things Honda builds. That’s awesome.
however, I will allow stealth aircraft as a compensatory selection, because they do kick ass invisibly.
May 29th, 2009 at 12:21 pm
John Henson and Jon Heder are quality picks this late, but Churchill is fucking inspired.
Are Dexy’s Midnight Runners off the board? You haven’t heard the last of them!
May 29th, 2009 at 12:21 pm
@ Otto Man
I think you are confusing his post-election speeches with his campaign speeches. And your mentioning of the left’s favorite boogeyman, Fox News, is too predictable. Why don’t you make fun of Rush Limbaugh too, while you’re at it, since he is equally irrelevent to what we’re talking about?
It’s my belief that in the long haul, Obama is going to do a ton of damage to this country, but that’s a debate that would last forever and probably isn’t suited for a KSK message board.
My next pick:
Tony Romo – Nailing Jessica Simpson
Would she even have given him the time of day if she knew where his career was headed?
May 29th, 2009 at 12:21 pm
Ashton Kutcher landing Demi Moore.
Acting or otherwise, we can all agree Ashton Kutcher is a complete fuck up. However landing this biggest MILF to ever walk the face of the earth, living off of her dime, and (I’m calling this right now), divorcing her in about 5 years when her boobs finally start to sag and she starts to lose it.
May 29th, 2009 at 12:22 pm
William Peterson as Grissom. Really, are you ever going to exceed that?
May 29th, 2009 at 12:22 pm
Megadeth – Rust In Peace
Aside from an occasional decent song here and there, every album before or after that ranges from mediocre to downright terrible. Rust In Peace however is one of the top 10 metal albums of all time. How an album that good came from that band still mystifies me.
May 29th, 2009 at 12:23 pm
late round steal! vincent gallo “buffalo ‘66″
May 29th, 2009 at 12:23 pm
@FratManG: I think you win. Great call.
May 29th, 2009 at 12:24 pm
Mr. Peanut, I would argue the reverse. Really, Would Tony have hit that if he knew Jess was going to get fat and Carrie was going to become a Country superstar and keep her looks?
May 29th, 2009 at 12:24 pm
@ozmodiar
Wahlberg in The Departed was bad ass.
May 29th, 2009 at 12:26 pm
@ozmodiar
Wahlberg in Boogie Nights is almost lifetime pass good
May 29th, 2009 at 12:26 pm
Judd Nelson as John Bender…..
“Naked blonde walks into a bar with a poodle under one arm, and a two-foot salami under the other. The bartender says, I guess you won’t be needing a drink. Naked lady says..”
May 29th, 2009 at 12:27 pm
at uzh
early incubus rocked, science is one of the greatest albums ever, failboat is leaving the station
May 29th, 2009 at 12:27 pm
Pinkerton – Weezer
Never a big fan of the band, but they’re catchy enough to listen to from time to time. But after Pinkerton, it all became formulaic.
May 29th, 2009 at 12:28 pm
Ape’s tears are sweet. Sweeter than honey.
May 29th, 2009 at 12:28 pm
Germany – Western Europe WWII, after they hung a right into the USSR they had nothing left in the tank
May 29th, 2009 at 12:29 pm
William Henry Harrison’s inaugural speech. He really went downhill after that.
May 29th, 2009 at 12:32 pm
Christina Aguilera – DIRTY Video
May 29th, 2009 at 12:35 pm
Keenan Ivory Wayans. His work on “Hollywood Shuffle” was inspired. His work on “In Living Color” is classic comedy. Then there’s “I’m Gonna Get You, Sucka.” Decent. Now? “Dance Flick.” Uh . . .
May 29th, 2009 at 12:36 pm
Tim Robbins – Shawshank Redemption
May 29th, 2009 at 12:36 pm
@Vandyville: Mark Hammil Star Wars? Incorrect sir. Mark Hammil as The Joker on Batman the Animated Series
As for my vote, Steven Seagall in Under Seige. His career as a “martial artist” and “actor” is a sham. But Under Siege is pretty cool. Though falling of the plane in Executive decision makes me laugh every time.
May 29th, 2009 at 12:38 pm
Cho Seung-Hui “Richard McBeef”
May 29th, 2009 at 12:39 pm
@ Boatdrinks
Your right, Tony and Jess are perfect for eachother. Both started declining around the same time at at equally precipitous rates. I don’t know how I missed that, maybe because I choose to remember hot Jess because she’s hot and awful Tony Romo because it’s funny. Well played.
May 29th, 2009 at 12:44 pm
Don Shula – Won 2 Super Bowls in the early 70’s, then lived off of that (and Dan Marino) for 30 more years. How he wasn’t fired long before he retired is beyond me. Now he gets paid to do lame Nutrasystem commercials with Marino and made to look foolish by Jay-Z in Bud commercials?
I almost wish the Gay-triots had beaten the Giants so he could lie down and die finally. Almost.
May 29th, 2009 at 12:47 pm
Kanye West – Golddigger.
May 29th, 2009 at 12:49 pm
John Tesh – “NBA on NBC Theme”
May 29th, 2009 at 12:52 pm
I think you are confusing his post-election speeches with his campaign speeches.
And I think you’re confusing reality with the voices in your head.
You insisted that Obama promised he could fix everything immediately. Go find some evidence to back that up or admit you’re wrong. The text of his acceptance speech, his campaign speeches, his debate comments are all available on line. Go find me some proof or shut the fuck up. I’ll be waiting.
May 29th, 2009 at 12:54 pm
Zach Braff – JD on Scrubs
Everybody who liked Garden State, please line up for a complimentary beat-down
May 29th, 2009 at 12:56 pm
@ozmodiar: I have to go with FratManG on Wahlberg in The Departed. Also have to go with FratManG on Ashton Kutcher with Demi Moore. Even more impressive is that he somehow has managed to keep Bruce Willis from kicking his ass.
@popmartian: I, like you, don’t know what you are talking about. How is a ten-year run on The Daily Show a single great work from an artist whose career has otherwise been terrible? And at what was Jon Stewart horrible prior to the Daily Show? His stand up is first rate. Unlike Dane Cook, he actually is funny. He also was a good talk show host prior to the Daily Show, dating back to his first show on MTV. Sure, he’s better now, but he has been good from the beginning.
May 29th, 2009 at 12:58 pm
@Kid Presentable: Oh, that is an excellent pick.
May 29th, 2009 at 1:00 pm
Dan Cortese on Seinfeld as Tony the Mimbo. Great episode but what a douchenozzle. And a Yinzer to boot.
May 29th, 2009 at 1:02 pm
William Peterson as Grissom. Really, are you ever going to exceed that?
He was pretty good in To Live and Die in LA, and Manhunter, the first of the Hannibal Lecter movies.
And at what was Jon Stewart horrible prior to the Daily Show?
I love the guy to death, but his acting career (”Big Daddy,” “Death to Smoochy”) was horrid and his previous talk show was pretty meh.
Keenan Ivory Wayans. His work on “Hollywood Shuffle” was inspired. His work on “In Living Color” is classic comedy. Then there’s “I’m Gonna Get You, Sucka.” Decent. Now? “Dance Flick.” Uh . . .
Is Keenan part of that atrocity? I thought that was the work of some of the lesser Wayans … Randy, Tito, whoever. “I’m Gonna Git You Sucka” was definitely his peak. Damon, too.
May 29th, 2009 at 1:03 pm
The Atari 2600 (Yeah I just picked a videogame console but the 5200, 7800, Lynx and Jaguar all smoked pole)
May 29th, 2009 at 1:03 pm
Hulk Hogan vs Ultimate Warrior Wrestlemania 6
May 29th, 2009 at 1:04 pm
The new Star Trek — J.J. Abrams
The guy makes up for the fact that he can’t tell a story with plot gimmicks and artifice. Cloverfield had a smart marketing campaign that hooked millions into seeing a shitty movie.
May 29th, 2009 at 1:05 pm
Mountain Clothing Co. – Three Wolf T-Shirt
Everything thing else they’ve made is just cheesy.
May 29th, 2009 at 1:06 pm
+12 trillion mrpeanut (for both picks)
2005 Seattle Seahawks, week 5 – NFC Championship Game
breaking fans’ hearts with choke jobs before and after
May 29th, 2009 at 1:08 pm
Robert Pirsig. Wrote “Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance” which is awesome. Everything else, including the the “sequel” is awful.
May 29th, 2009 at 1:08 pm
Mark Hamill….Star Wars?
I used the Star Wars poster above to mean Lucas. God, George Lucas is a fucking hack. And don’t tell me American Graffiti is good. It’s not. Hamill, at least, had done some decent voice acting stuff since Star Wars (he was Joker on the Batman: The Animated Series)
May 29th, 2009 at 1:08 pm
Hard to believe mrpeanut is a Republican. No visible genitals and a fancy monocle and cane?
May 29th, 2009 at 1:10 pm
@Clare — thank you kindly
@ Ape — no love for Lost?
Final pick: Michael Cimino and The Deer Hunter. Following that he single-handledly bankrupted a movie studio with a subsequent bomb. The guy was even fired from Footloose.
May 29th, 2009 at 1:11 pm
@Mercer
Under Siege is Seagal’s 4th best film. Take a look at Out for Justice, Above the Law and Marked for Death before you judge a man as great as Seagal.
May 29th, 2009 at 1:11 pm
@HarfHarfHarf: Glad you liked “Zen”, but I thought “Zen” was the most overrated collection of goobledygook in the entire history of the written word.
May 29th, 2009 at 1:12 pm
@Otto
re: Jon Stewart’s acting. Yeah, but acting isn’t and never has been his artform. He’s a stand up comic, social/political commentator and a talk show host. At those things, which account for 90+% of his work, he has been great.
May 29th, 2009 at 1:13 pm
Guess I’m the only one that thinks 30 Rock sucks ass.
May 29th, 2009 at 1:14 pm
@Tracer Bullet: Major Payne is fun summertime afternoon fun.
2nd pick: the entire cast of ENTOURAGE. I enjoy the show (although the last episode I saw was after Medillien failed at Cannes) but there is absolutely no way any of them get even remotely close to being as famous as they are now.
Turtle- Don’t even fuckin know the guys real name. Needless to say he’ll never be working in a meaningful acting job again.
Kevin Dillon- will soon get to see what Drama lived.
Eric- He was useless as the stupid brother on Unhappily Ever After. Or as most people call it Cheap Married with Children knockoff
Adrein Greneir- He isn’t even good at acting like an actor. Let that boggle your mind.
Jeremy Piven- He will only ever play Ari like characters from now until his death.
Rex Lee- Without Ari to play off of he’s only ever going to be gay hairstylist/manicurist/pedicurist that convinces GIRL in Romantic Comedies to go back to GUY.
May 29th, 2009 at 1:15 pm
Fair enough, Claude. I just can’t remember any of his stand up.
And yes, Lucas got lucky with “Star Wars” and then crapped all over himself. “Empire” is the greatest film in the series, because he didn’t direct it. When he got control of the prequels, he Jar-Jarred all over the place.
May 29th, 2009 at 1:15 pm
@ Otto: I’m pretty sure Keenan is the executive producer. Of course that means he’s most responsible for fucking all the nubile teenage extras, but it’s still a long fall from where he was.
May 29th, 2009 at 1:16 pm
Eric- He was useless as the stupid brother on Unhappily Ever After. Or as most people call it Cheap Married with Children knockoff
I thought that show was called “Holy Shit, Look at Nikki Cox’s Rack!”
It’s so sad that she looks like a platypus now.
May 29th, 2009 at 1:18 pm
Funkdoobiest–Which Doobie U Be?
Sure they were kind of just Cypress Hill-lite, but Funkdoobiest will always have Which Doobie. Underrated and awesome.
/I got you babe but who’s got the porno
May 29th, 2009 at 1:18 pm
Jar-Jarred! I love it Otto.
May 29th, 2009 at 1:20 pm
I’ll go with the cast of Saved By the Bell. If you are in your mid 20’s to early 30’s, you know you watched and loved that show. After that, the cast did nothing, minus Elizabeth Berkley, who was in the terrible film, showgirls.
May 29th, 2009 at 1:25 pm
@ dave k, piven was awesome as dean pritchard in old school, sure its ari-esque, but thats not the draft, the draft is no multiple good performances, definitely not the case with piven, I agree on the rest of the cast though….
May 29th, 2009 at 1:28 pm
Piven in the PCU and in the original Cupid are worthy of your valuable time as well.
May 29th, 2009 at 1:31 pm
@ Otto Man
We’re not going to agree on this. I can go pick out lines from speeches and you can argue against the context of the lines and offer some other things he said as a counterargument. It would never end. I’m not interested. This is a very subjective draft. Let’s leave it at that.
I’ll be waiting on your “Ooooh I must have won this argument because he doesn’t want to engage in endless debate with me” exclamation.
Next Pick:
McDonald’s – The McGriddle
Finally they make something good.
May 29th, 2009 at 1:33 pm
Piven’s role as George Costanza in the fake Seinfeld sitcom-within-the-sitcom in “Seinfeld” was pretty fucking good, too.
May 29th, 2009 at 1:35 pm
We’re not going to agree on this. I can go pick out lines from speeches and you can argue against the context of the lines and offer some other things he said as a counterargument. It would never end. I’m not interested. This is a very subjective draft. Let’s leave it at that.
If you can do it, then do it. You can’t, because what you’re saying never happened. It’d be like me bashing Bush for never delivering on his promise to give us all flying cars.
You’re welcome to your own opinions, but you’re not welcome to just make shit up.
I’ll be waiting on your “Ooooh I must have won this argument because he doesn’t want to engage in endless debate with me” exclamation.
Yeah, I won this argument. You made a claim and you can’t back it up.
May 29th, 2009 at 1:40 pm
MC Snow – Informer
May 29th, 2009 at 1:40 pm
ROBBLE ROBBLE ROBBLE
May 29th, 2009 at 1:43 pm
@ librarian
You’ve gotta be kidding me with the Ed O’Neill comment! He’s one of the O’Shea brothers in Little Giants, CLASSIC
May 29th, 2009 at 1:46 pm
@ Ape
Plus he was awesome as CockKnocker in Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back
@ davek
Major Payne is such a dumb movie but it’s so fuckin’ funny. Priceless cameo from Bam Bam Bigelow (RIP) as well
@ blart
Cho Seung-Hui “Richard McBeef”
I’m going to hell, but that made me LOL proper
May 29th, 2009 at 1:47 pm
@ Charlie Sweatpants:
Agreed on Matrix & Wachowskis.
Some movies shouldn’t have Sequels/Trilogies.
May 29th, 2009 at 1:57 pm
mrpeanut: “Endless debate” does not mean throwing out a stupid lie and then storming off in a huff when you get called on it.
May 29th, 2009 at 1:59 pm
I struggle to believe the political opinions of someone who thinks that a pancake sandwich is the best thing one of the most successful businesses in the world ever has done
May 29th, 2009 at 2:04 pm
Guns and Roses – Appetite For Destruction.
It’s tough for a band when your debut album is arguably one of the greatest hard rock albums ever (see also: Boston) but nothing that Axl & Co. did after Appetite was even remotely close. And Axl’s spiral from Rock God to bloated howard hughes-esque clown in the last 15 years has further cemented this status.
May 29th, 2009 at 2:04 pm
@ Otto Man
You’re overreaching on a few things:
You chose to zero in on my comment “cure all the country’s ails with the wave of a hand.” The comment was vague and clearly an exaggeration to illustrate a point (no I’m not searching Youtube for a video of Obama literally promising to wave his hand and make everything instantly better.)
Fair-minded readers would agree that Obama painted an overly optimistic picture of what Hope and Change in “Obamaland” would look like during his campaign in order to get elected (this is not uniquely an Obama criticism, it is something all politicians do.) I don’t think it requires the proof you’re asking for.
Also, “flying cars” would be something specific. My comment is referring to the overall optimistic feeling of the people when he was elected, not a specific promise like closing gitmo, FOCA, pulling out of Iraq, government run healthcare, etc.
Loved the jar-jared comment though…
May 29th, 2009 at 2:05 pm
@ albo
WATCH ERASERHEAD!
May 29th, 2009 at 2:05 pm
Carl’s Jr. (or Hardees) — The Western Bacon Cheeseburger
The rest of their menu is unexciting. The Six-Dollar Burgers are only good if you feel like feeding two people. But the Western Bacon Cheeseburger, upon its introduction, was instantly the greatest burger any of the major chains has ever put out. (and no, In & Out is not a major chain.)
I’ve been eating Westerns for over 20 years (my gut is proof) and I still look forward to them as I hit the drive thru.
/eat the onion rings first
May 29th, 2009 at 2:05 pm
“I’ll be waiting on your “Ooooh I must have won this argument because he doesn’t want to engage in endless debate with me” exclamation.”
You can say it as sarcastically as you want, but you still look like an idiot.
May 29th, 2009 at 2:07 pm
Guns and Roses – Appetite For Destruction.
Glad you made this pick. I wanted to but was concerned about the 40 GNR fanboys ready to jump down my throat.
May 29th, 2009 at 2:11 pm
“Bam Bam Bigelow”
Now that’s a name I haven’t heard in a long time. A long time. I haven’t heard the name Bam Bam Bigelow since, oh, before you were born.
My only pick is R. Lee Ermey in Full Metal Jacket. Very inspired performance, and everything else he has done since is simply derivative of it.
May 29th, 2009 at 2:13 pm
@ Slanketeer
lol. As a business venture, you’re right, McDonald’s has been extremely successful. I was speaking in terms of the quality of the food, which I generally dislike, however, I think the McGriddle is delicious. As KSK readers, I don’t think any of our political opinions should be taken seriously. I thought that was self-evident.
@ TR
The debate wouldn’t end until somebody decides to quit and face the jeers on the other end “clearly he CAN’T back it up!!!!” I’m not going to change Otto’s mind and he’s not going to change mine. I followed the election and his presidency to date very closely, I know what I’m saying. People can decide for themselves what they want to believe.
May 29th, 2009 at 2:17 pm
@Slothrop
Totally agree about Heller. Catch-22 is one of my favorite books, but I have NEVER been able to read anything by Heller to completion since… tried Something Happened, Portrait of an Artists…, etc
May 29th, 2009 at 2:18 pm
Heroin. The first time was a blast, but you just can’t get the same rush no matter how many time’s I end up ODing on my bathroom floor.
May 29th, 2009 at 2:19 pm
Now that’s a name I haven’t heard in a long time. A long time. I haven’t heard the name Bam Bam Bigelow since, oh, before you were born.
That would be pretty hard to accomplish seeing I was born in ‘81 and Bigelow really didn’t get all that famous until ‘85.
May 29th, 2009 at 2:22 pm
@ Westbrook
LOL, you are too literal. It’s a quote from Star Wars used to make a dumb joke.
May 29th, 2009 at 2:22 pm
@mrpeanut, i think you have terrible taste in food, but well put. i can agree to disagree on this one
May 29th, 2009 at 2:24 pm
Owen Wilson as Hansel in “Zoolander.”
The guy is generally annoying in everything he does, which is probably why Hansel was such a perfect character for him. “Who you trying to get crazy with, ese? Don’t you know I’m loco?”
May 29th, 2009 at 2:25 pm
God- he creates everything then takes a few eons off. I mean just look at the state of this place and tell me he’s not a hack. He should have quit while he was ahead, and stuck with the plants and beasts.
May 29th, 2009 at 2:26 pm
I followed the election and his presidency to date very closely, I know what I’m saying. People can decide for themselves what they want to believe.
Great, I’ve decided you’re an idiot who makes shit up.
May 29th, 2009 at 2:27 pm
bachman turner overdrive
taking care of business
the “working overtime” part
@scottro: very nice pick
May 29th, 2009 at 2:35 pm
Chris Tucker. The first time I saw “Friday” I thought it was some of the funniest shit I’d ever seen and Tucker was on his way to greatness. That part when Smokey recounts how he’d unknowingly toked on a PCP-laced joint, freaked out and ended in a pigeon coop was comedic gold. I haven’t seen him in anything nearly as good since.
May 29th, 2009 at 2:42 pm
Chris Tucker was funny in Money Talks.
May 29th, 2009 at 2:43 pm
@JAFO, re: Korn
You didn’t break the rules in my opinion. Korn’s first album was fuckin’ great. Then suddenly with album #2, they’re selling Korn beanie babies and lunchboxes at Blockbuster Music. Despite what people try to tell you, there IS an acceptable level of selling out. Korn blew by that and then some.
May 29th, 2009 at 2:54 pm
I’m with dick_gozinia and Ape about Guns ‘n’ Roses’ “Appetite for Destruction”. Their debut album was legendary, then they coasted on epic rock momentum and made nothing but MEH afterwards. Axl’s now known more for his stupid whitey dreads and a bizzare feud with Tommy Hilfiger than for his music.
“And Axl’s spiral from Rock God to bloated howard hughes-esque clown in the last 15 years has further cemented this status.”- spot on, dick_gozinia!
May 29th, 2009 at 2:54 pm
Also want to take the opportunity to second johndewar’s long, long ago nomination of Jennifer Aniston…her greatest work? Landing Brad Pitt. Nothing else she has ever done has had that kind of resonance. NO. THING.
The only reason she is ***JENNIFER ANISTON*** and not …courtney cox… is because she was dumped by the hottest guy in the world for the hottest girl in the world. The media was like awwww poor girl next door, let’s continue to milk this angle for the next, oh, decade. Sympathy for the dumped. That’s Jennifer Aniston’s contribution to entertainment history.
Although, sure, I’d hit it and she wasn’t awful in “Office Space.”
May 29th, 2009 at 2:59 pm
A 2-fer. Kurt Russell in Escape from NY and Big Trouble in Little China. All else is ashes.
May 29th, 2009 at 3:00 pm
Heath Ledger – The Dark Knight
Kiefer Sutherland – 24 (first couple seasons)
@roto tudor – Leo was good in Blood Diamond
@dick_gozinia – I thought Costner was good in The Untouchables
May 29th, 2009 at 3:01 pm
The debate wouldn’t end until somebody decides to quit and face the jeers on the other end “clearly he CAN’T back it up!!!!”
You insisted something happened as fact; he disputed it and asked for proof; instead of providing proof, you acted like a toddler. That’s not a debate, that’s a tantrum.
May 29th, 2009 at 3:06 pm
I will nominate…
The following members of the cast and crew of TRUE ROMANCE…
Christian Slater
Patricia Arquette
Michael Rapaport
Balki
Director Tony Scott
May 29th, 2009 at 3:10 pm
I leave for a few hours to do work and all hell breaks loose over here (not really) but much to comment on:
@mrpeanut: you sir are entitled to your opinions no matter how wrong they are. Your overexaggerated statement should have just stayed in your pocket since you knew people on this site would call you on it. I think the hope and change you were looking for never materialized when McCain got trounced so I smell sour grapes. Anyway, this ceased being an argument once you failed to produce any evidence whatsoever to backup your claims. You lose.
@Pliferer: you sir are speaking nothing but the truth on that one. I still listen to Living Proof to this day and wondered what in the hell happened to these two cats.
@Ape: That SB was the peak of Larry Browns shitty ass career, one that got him a HUGE payday from the Raiders (Al Davis fucking up again) and us fans a semblance of some payback for the two superbowls the Boys let get away to the Steelers in the 70s. Your tears make me strrrong like bull. MUHAHAHA.
@blart: Cho Seung-Hui truly made me laugh my ass off. I’m going to pray for forgiveness tonight.
My last pick of the day (maybe) will be Camp Lo – Uptown Saturday Night. They had two absolutely hot tracks: Luchini (this is it) and Coolie High. The rest of the CD? MEH. Their careers went into the shitter after that as far as I can tell.
May 29th, 2009 at 3:14 pm
Jebus, Kurt Russel was pretty bad ass in Tombstone
May 29th, 2009 at 3:16 pm
Gotta disagree with the Owen Wilson comment. Sure, his recent work has been mainstream and hackish. However, he was Dignam in Bottle Rocket and he co-wrote Rushmore and Royal Tenenbaums. Lifetime pass right there.
May 29th, 2009 at 3:17 pm
Christian Slater in “True Romance”- Was he ever good in anything else?
@Jebus – Kurt Russell in “The Thing” would like to have a word with you.
@Porky 1 – Owen Wilson is terrific in “Bottle Rocket”
Also, Ape is so wrong about “American Grafitti” I want to challenge him to a duel – I demand satisfaction, suh!
May 29th, 2009 at 3:21 pm
Mario Puzo – The Godfather. Everything else was a pale immitation.
May 29th, 2009 at 3:25 pm
Kate Hudson in Almost Famous
May 29th, 2009 at 3:25 pm
@porky… my thoughts exactly.
May 29th, 2009 at 3:25 pm
I knew I would get called out for criticizing The One, and I was fine with it. The same reasoning that prepared me for that backlash also convinced me that this isn’t an argument I’m going to “win,” at least not here where the winners are determined by faceless blog commenters named Slanketeer and Otto Man (…and yes, mrpeanut.) Otto Man pulled my comment out of context and called it a “lie” and a couple liberal lemmings like Brian were quick to jump on the bandwagon. Now Jackin has declared me the “loser” in an argument I never intended on having because I didn’t provide evidence. Whether I am 100% wrong or 100% right or anywhere in between, I could have pulled up some statements by Obama and carried on with this. Some would have agreed with me, most probably would have agreed with Otto. I just didn’t care. Congrats to the winners.
I must correct the record though and say I was not a strong McCain supporter. I voted for him, but it really was an anti-Obama vote (like most McCain votes probably were, whether they would admit it or not.)
May 29th, 2009 at 3:25 pm
De La Soul “Three Feet High and Rising” and “Buhloon Mind State”. The rest of ther stuff is either MEH or BLECH! I don’t know what the hell De La is doing now, but they’re no doubt filling their albums with annoying jokey skits.
May 29th, 2009 at 3:28 pm
@ Gino
Come on, now. Stakes is High?
May 29th, 2009 at 3:28 pm
Now before anyone assumes that their next comment against me was “the knockout punch,” I regret to inform you that I have to do some work and probably won’t be checking this until later tonight or tomorrow morning (with a possible rebuttal that at that point, probably nobody will read.)
Peace.
May 29th, 2009 at 3:32 pm
@porky
I have to disagree on Christian Slater. It is probably terribly dated by this point, but Pump up the Volume never got quite the credit it deserved, IMO.
May 29th, 2009 at 3:32 pm
Both the Undertaker and Mankind/Cactus Jack/Dude Love/Mick Foley – Hell in the Cell Match
Unbelieveable to watch live – like I was witnessing history and knew it. Both were technically sound, but given the state of wrestling in the late ‘90 and how entertaining it got to be, they were slow, prodding and boring. And Undertaker had no personality. Foley was at least kinda funny some of the time, but most of it got old real quick. His funniest stuff came when he was part of the Rock ‘n Sock Connection.
Easily the highlight and most memorable match of both careers, especially Foley.
May 29th, 2009 at 3:34 pm
For my second pick, I’ll take the Hanson Brothers, in the movie Slapshot. One of the best sports movie ever. The sequels were garbage.
May 29th, 2009 at 3:34 pm
@ Tim Tebow’s GF’sT
Yeah, I forgot about “Stakes Is High”. That’s a good, underrated album. I just don’t get the shit they’ve done since.
May 29th, 2009 at 3:40 pm
@ Rob: Um. . . Read the rules! The Undertaker and Mankind both had memorable matches before the Hell in a cell. Plus, aside from the two spots, the wrestling in that match was god awful. Fully wasn’t conscience, and Taker sprained his ankle, and could barely walk. Not only that, both wrestlers had matches that surpassed that match numerous times after the match.
May 29th, 2009 at 3:41 pm
Movie Actor: Dudley Moore in “Crazy People.” Those “Arthur” movies sucked and I’ve always found him annoying in everything else. Really, I don’t even like him that much in Crazy People, but it was a really funny movie.
Movie Director: Michael Bay in “Playboy Video Centerfold: Kerri Kendall.” He pretty much peaked with his first assignment, which was directing a hot naked chick to be hot and naked. After that it’s been one disaster after another for this asshat. (Though I kinda liked Armageddon)
TV: Richard Dean Anderson on “MacGyver.” Stargate was lame.
Food: Whoppers at “Burger King.” Everything else there, the chicken, the fries, the shakes, the breakfasts, is complete and utter shit compared to McD and other places. But they do burgers well.
Sports: Boobie Gibson in the 2007 playoffs for basketball, Francisco Cabrera in 1992 NLCS Game 7 for baseball, David Tyree in the 2009 Super Bowl for football and the 1980 Olympics for pretty much everyone on the USA hockey team in hockey.
Also:
@JohnDeWar Obviously you haven’t seen Alicia Silverstone in “Crush.” Mmmmm.
May 29th, 2009 at 3:44 pm
Mortal Kombat Trilogy- Anything else Mortal Kombat. The games since ‘Trilogy have been fucking terrible. And so were those two movies and the TV show. But Kitana in those movies definitely switched my sex drive as a 12-year old firmly to the “on” position.
May 29th, 2009 at 3:46 pm
shit shit shit I forgot Timothy Hutton – Ordinary People. Has he even done anything other than Leverage since that movie? And God I hate myself for even knowing Leverage is a show… thanks NBA playoffs.
May 29th, 2009 at 3:46 pm
Big Daddy Drew-Sports Guy rant
Occasional decent stuff, but the majority is pretty formulaic and repetitive (Peter King rants, the Dick Joke Jamboroo, etc). We get it, you like to make up new swear words, they’re not that funny.
May 29th, 2009 at 3:50 pm
Gino:
Stakes is great, as noted above. But AOI: Bionix is probably my favorite album by them. Outstanding, all the way through. And the side work they’ve done with the Gorillaz (”Feel Good Inc.”) and Propellerheads (”360″) is solid, too.
mrpeanut:
For fuck’s sake, moron, no one is after you for “criticizing The One.” It’s your right to bitch about the president.
What you’re catching flak for is the fact that you made a claim which wasn’t true. I asked you to prove it, and you narrowed the parameters. I asked you to prove that, and you started crying. You said something happened that did not happen, so yeah — you lied.
No one here needed to provide the “knockout punch.” You hit yourself in the balls with your first comment, and never let up. Well done.
May 29th, 2009 at 3:56 pm
Ed O’Neil as Al Bundy
He’s terrible as anything else.
———————————————–
Even as Heisman winner and Pee Wee Coach extraordinaire Kevin O’Shea in Little Giants?
May 29th, 2009 at 4:01 pm
Marilyn Monroe – dying
May 29th, 2009 at 4:03 pm
@Ape: That SB was the peak of Larry Browns shitty ass career, one that got him a HUGE payday from the Raiders (Al Davis fucking up again) and us fans a semblance of some payback for the two superbowls the Boys let get away to the Steelers in the 70s. Your tears make me strrrong like bull. MUHAHAHA.
Considering since SB XXX, the Steelers have won 12 postseason games, including two Super Bowls, while the Cowboys won one postseason game 12 years ago and zero since, my bitterness about that game has been mollified a little.
May 29th, 2009 at 4:04 pm
@ Otto
Holy shit. I just went out to my car and found a CD wallet I haven’t looked at in a couple months and found “AOI: BIONX” and a nug on the same page. That must be a sign. A really nice sign.
So I’m withdrawing the De La Soul pick. Their overall body of work is too good to fit the parameters of this draft. I just don’t get their new shit.
May 29th, 2009 at 4:05 pm
Go with God, my son.
May 29th, 2009 at 4:14 pm
Withdrawing Kurt Russell- I forgot about Tombstone.
Replace with Caleb Carr- the Alienist was a good book. The other shite? Blech.
May 29th, 2009 at 4:27 pm
My next pick:
Siegfried & Roy’s final performance. I wasn’t a fan before, but the tiger was brilliant in that one.
May 29th, 2009 at 4:31 pm
@ DaveK for the Entourage pick: “Turtle- Don’t even fuckin know the guys real name. Needless to say he’ll never be working in a meaningful acting job again.”
Isn’t he banging Jamie Lynn Siegler? That’s significantly better than Entourage and has given him 2 wins vs. Life.
May 29th, 2009 at 4:59 pm
With my fourth (and increasingly irrelevant) pick I’ll take Zack Snyder and the opening titles sequence of Watchmen. The remainder of the movie was mediocre, and the little I saw of 300 seemed awful, but those alternate history scenes with Bob Dylan playing over them was touching.
May 29th, 2009 at 5:07 pm
Last pick (really, well maybe): Anna Nicole Smith’s playboy shoot. Hoo boy everything went downhill fast for her didn’t it.
@Ape: Yeah, yeah, I know, I know… {played off by Keyboard Cat}
May 29th, 2009 at 5:28 pm
Jimmy Cliff’s work on “The Harder They Come”. Brilliant stuff, but after that it was a terrifying downhill ride that lead to generic “‘ey, mon!” reggae, stupid commercials and “Club Paradise” with Robin Williams.
May 29th, 2009 at 5:35 pm
Amazed this is still available.
Brian Wilson/Beach Boys – Pet Sounds
Say what you want about their early stuff (to me it’s mostly corny despite a few gems). Pet Sounds is AMAZING. Top to bottom one of the best portraits of post adolescent angst in pop music ever. It forced everyone to take them seriously as artists and forced Brian Wilson to completely lose his shit. Never before or again did they reach these heights.
May 29th, 2009 at 5:47 pm
Whoever said spacey – yeah hes done a lot of shit since he peaked, but I thorougly enjoyed him in american beauty. I’ll also throw out Dave Matthews Band for no other reason then the pot-smoking hotties that he consistentely brings along with him on tour. Sure, the music is insufferable even for a hardcore jam-band fan such as myself, but hot damn there are some good looking girls walking around Boston this weekend.
May 29th, 2009 at 5:49 pm
Boxing is an art, right? Then I go with Buster Douglas…one unforgettable moment, ……after that night in Japan…who?
May 29th, 2009 at 5:50 pm
@ Mario
Great, great value pick. Without a doubt one of the top 20 albums of all time
May 29th, 2009 at 5:57 pm
@Mario
Great pick. Lofty pick. Clutch pick.
/is really sad that I didn’t pick that, since it was so obvious. D’oh.
May 29th, 2009 at 6:02 pm
@ Marrio Barrio
“Pet Sounds” is a fucking excellent pick that totally slipped my mind. Most of the time, hearing the Beach Boys drives me to homicidal rage but damn, they really hit it with that album.
@martinriggs
Solid pick with Buster Douglas KO’ing Mike Tyson. After that, Buster had a crappy video game on Sega Genesis.
May 29th, 2009 at 6:20 pm
@ Gino touresttsa
I missed that at first, but thats another great pick. One of my favorite albums, but the subsequent transformation of reggae into club med fodder for drunk white fourtysomethings is a god damn travesty. Along that reggae vein, in some sort of bizzare parallel universe draft where you had to choose one work that marginalizes the rest of the artist’s career, I would go with Legend by Marley. Sure, some of the songs are pretty good, but the man had so many other good albums that people will never listen to becuacse they are too busy singing along to no woman no cry for the thousandsth time.
May 29th, 2009 at 6:49 pm
Ted Turner’s Gettysburg- best part was when he got whacked going over the top.
May 29th, 2009 at 6:57 pm
Spandau Ballet, “True”.
…wait, that song sucks ass too. *shrugs*
May 29th, 2009 at 7:03 pm
“She Bangs”- William Hung
Seriously, what has he done since?
May 29th, 2009 at 7:11 pm
Albert Einstein – “Does the Inertia of a Body Depend Upon Its Energy Content?”
Patent clerk writes 4 articles while in his early 20s which change the world as we know it, then spends the next 60 years of his life trying to prove the impossible just because he cant get over the fact that G-d, does in fact, play dice with the universe.
Total hack.
May 29th, 2009 at 7:51 pm
Irvine Welsh — Trainspotting
All of his other novels are unreadable shit written in impeccable localized dialect.
May 29th, 2009 at 8:59 pm
Ach, ye gret sassenach git! Ye dinna ken shite. Irvine Welsh dis braw, bricht wark in his buiks, ye bloose-wearin’ poodle-walker.
May 29th, 2009 at 9:04 pm
I think there needs to be some subcategories here. There are artists like Welsh, who only really have one story to tell, told it well once, got success and spent the rest of their career doing shit that was derivative of that. Then there are just completely untalented fuckwits would got lucky once.
May 29th, 2009 at 9:29 pm
Morris Day & the Time in Purple Rain
After that movie, music critics thought Morris was the next James Brown. Turns out, not so much.
May 29th, 2009 at 9:47 pm
Billy Thorpe: Children Of The Sun.
Zippo before. Nada since. And they won’t even print the original album, just some crap fodder remix CD.
Grrrrrr…
May 29th, 2009 at 11:42 pm
James Vander Beek- Varsity Blues
May 30th, 2009 at 12:42 am
@ porky1
Don’t you never say an unkind word about the Time. Me and Silent Bob modeled our whole fucking lives around Morris Day and Jerome. I’m a smooth pimp who loves the pussy. And Tubby here is my black man servant. What!
May 30th, 2009 at 12:54 am
Mark Prior – 2003 season
May 30th, 2009 at 1:25 am
Zach de la Rocha…Rage Against the Machine = Legend. Now…what the fuck is he up to? Only time he’s relevant is when they do a small reunion show.
May 30th, 2009 at 2:10 am
David Carruso in NYPD Blue? His CSI gravy train since is teh suck and the only thing remotely before was his insignificant role in First Blood.
May 30th, 2009 at 2:44 am
@Pantherhands Ive seen all of those movies and they are enjoyable just as Roadhouse is. The thing about Above the Law, Out For Justice and the others is they were all the same movie. I’m quite easily entertained but seriously, how many times will a guy play a no nonsense expert martial artist former cia operative who is now a chicago detective with an awful faux chicago italian accent.
May 30th, 2009 at 4:36 am
Malcolm MacDowell- A Clockwork Orange
Caligula sucked ass. PORNO OR HISTORICAL DRAMA, PICK A SIDE!
May 30th, 2009 at 4:43 am
Okay, “Bound” has some great nudity, but other than that it’s almost unwatchable.
I really liked Bound. Joe Pantoliano + gratuitous nudity + a guy’s fingers getting cut off with shears + Christopher Meloni, when he had more hair, getting shot.
My choice is Oz. Even thought the show jumped off the rails during the “experimental aging drug” storyline, it’s still one of my favorite shows. No one associated with that show has done anything significant since.
Also, Oskar Schindler before World War II: womanizing, adulterous drunk. Oskar Schindler after World War II: womanizing, adulterous drunk. During war: saved some people.
May 30th, 2009 at 5:19 am
Zach Braff – Scrubs
The guy is a total douche, but pulls off a likable character in this TV Show.
May 30th, 2009 at 6:11 am
Total steal of this draft- Eddie Murphy – Boomerang.
Early Ed rocked, but everything after is a big brown shark.
May 30th, 2009 at 10:15 am
@ Arm Strongcock
I recommend Ctrl-F for your future
Real Late Pick, but I will take Snipes, Berenger, Sheen, Uecker, and Bernsen in Major League.
May 30th, 2009 at 10:28 am
@Lazer….Berenger in Platoon….gotta give him a lifetime pass on that. Also wasn’t he Bear Bryant in Junction Boys too?
Let’s try Stealer’s Wheel: Stuck In The Middle With You….hear from them before or since? That was , like, early ’70’s.
/refraining from ear jokies
May 30th, 2009 at 5:14 pm
J.D. Salinger – Catcher in the Rye.
May 30th, 2009 at 5:40 pm
@christoff
I refuse to live in a world where that is true.
http://perezhilton.com/2008-10-28-life-imitating-art-meadow-soprano-and-turtle-are-dating-in-real-life
Well fuck my ass its true.
I’m going to start drinking drain cleaner. See you all in hell
May 30th, 2009 at 5:44 pm
“Smooth Criminal” – Alien Ant Farm
(how is that still on the F’ing board?)
@UZH – I think “S.C.I.E.N.C.E.” is their best album, actually.
May 30th, 2009 at 5:46 pm
@NH Dan – “The Hung Jury” on Arrested Development. Duh.
May 30th, 2009 at 6:28 pm
50 Cent: Get Rich or Die Tryin’ (album, not the stupid video game or movie)
May 30th, 2009 at 6:32 pm
The Great Work of Art: The United States of America
The Terrible Artist: The British Empire
All the UK’s best colonies went independent. And British Commonwealth countires? MEH… warm vacation spots and cheap Canadian drugs, really.
May 30th, 2009 at 7:24 pm
Obama – Getting white people to worship him
May 30th, 2009 at 9:13 pm
i agree. tina fey is overrated by a mile. i like ‘30 rock,’ but she was awful on snl, ‘mean girls’ was mediocre and ‘baby mama’ was a cinematic abortion. it was beyond terrible. and fey just bugs me. so fuck her.
May 30th, 2009 at 10:54 pm
Joyce Hyser in Just One of the Guys. She’s on my Miles Simon/Bo Kimble list of “people who inexplicably never made it big.”
May 31st, 2009 at 12:47 am
Anyone who doesn’t like November Rain by Guns n’ Roses needs to sit down and think about their lives for a while, figure out who they are, etc. Just because it isn’t fast hard rock doesn’t mean it isn’t amazing.
And Porky1, Tony Scott directed Top Gun, so I’m calling shenanigans on that one.
I can’t believe this draft has been up for two days and nobody picked Super Bowl MVP Dexter Jackson. He’s the neo-Larry Brown who immediately signed with the AZ Cards, a place veteran players go to die.
May 31st, 2009 at 12:52 am
Vinnie Testeverde in the “Monday Night Miracle”
The dude shit the bed in college, had a terrible career no matter where he went, was a waste on a number one overall pick, pushed Kosar out of Cleveland…..than has ONE good quarter of football. He’s an asshat
May 31st, 2009 at 1:12 am
Danny McBride – Pineapple Express
I must be the only person who didn’t like East Bound and Down….
May 31st, 2009 at 2:23 am
Jerome James – 11 decent playoff games transformed into $40 or $50 million Cablevision Dolan Dollars.
James Belushi – Real Men, awesome movie with John Ritter
Belgium – Chocolate
Ireland – Guinness
@Merk – Sam’s Town is genius.
May 31st, 2009 at 10:16 am
Danny McBride – Pineapple Express
I must be the only person who didn’t like East Bound and Down….
Fistfoot Way is also good
May 31st, 2009 at 12:57 pm
Marlon Wayans- Requiem for a Dream
I’d say it’s about time for him to give up this parody bullshit.
May 31st, 2009 at 11:31 pm
Easy Pick: George Mason 2006.
that team had a magical run, hasn’t done crap before or since, and none of the guys are doing anything right now.
June 1st, 2009 at 1:24 am
Some excellent picks in this blog;
I’m going with the guy who does the Terry Tate commercials. What has he seriously done besides that?
June 1st, 2009 at 3:07 am
martin lawrence – nothing to lose. (as an actor, early standup is gold)
and i don’t really know how this works into it but i’ll throw out this simple fact:
chow yun fat + john woo = amazing, apart they are shit.
June 1st, 2009 at 3:08 am
I’ll take Redman – Whut? Thee Album, he never came close to matching that.
@Tracer Bullet (re: The Pharcyde): Keep in mind that Fatlip was out after Labcab and so was Slimkid3 by the time fucking Humboldt Beginnings came out. And on a side note, that “Best Of” is comprised solely of Bizarre Ride and Labcab. I was as disappointed by Labcab as the next guy (though Runnin’ and The E.N.D. were classics), but I don’t think you could call the group “terrible” if you took away Bizarre Ride II The Pharcyde. If they stuck with J-Swift on production, they could’ve kept it going longer. J Dilla is talented, but his style did not mesh with The Pharcyde very well.
@Gino (re: De La Soul): Really? Fuck, I think Buhloone Mind State is one of the most grossly overrated Golden Age albums out there. Meanwhile, De La Soul Is Dead is great, and so is The Grind Date (Stakes Is High is good, but not great). And while I can relate to your distaste for the mass amount of skits in …Is Dead, you’re contradicting yourself by apparently excusing 3 Feet High and Rising of doing the same exact thing. I’m going to guess that you didn’t listen to The Grind Date though, and I really can’t recommend it enough [just skip the lead single, "Shopping Bags (She Got From You)"]. The AOI albums were trash, I can’t defend those.
@johndewar: Bust A Move may be Young MC’s one big hit into the mainstream, but he was pretty good for a while (his first two albums were great). Plus you might not be aware that he wrote both of Tone Loc’s hits: Wild Thing and Funky Cold Medina. Not all one hit wonders deserved to be.
Yes x1000 @ the guy who said Jon Lovitz on The Critic. Love the show (or at least season 1), but God is he fucking annoying in everything else.
Oh, and another vote that 30 Rock sucks.
June 1st, 2009 at 4:15 pm
John Carpenter – Halloween.
June 1st, 2009 at 5:41 pm
Sonny Landham as Billy in Predator.
June 1st, 2009 at 6:38 pm
@No Pullout. Sonny was pretty good in 48 hrs
June 3rd, 2009 at 2:52 pm
@grungedave: Pearl Jam have only gotten better since Ten. I’m not a fan of Vitalogy or Vs. save for a few songs, but Yield and everything after that have been amazing. Lofty albums.