Jeremy Shockey Lobbies for a Role in “The Hangover 2″
In a Memorial Day weekend story as shocking as “Pools Across Nation Open For Business”, Jeremy Shockey was found unconscious on the floor of the Hard Rock Hotel in Vegas this afternoon and rushed to the hospital. A Saints spokesman said Shockey is fine and that he was only dehydrated. Yeah right, buddy. If the trailer is any indication, he obviously caught the brunt of a Mike Tyson hook.
UPDATE: TMZ (via Busted Coverage) has a few photos of him staggering around the party looking wrecked. Because I really needed photo evidence to believe this story.
May 24th, 2009 at 8:53 pm
Anyone else notice that the name of the pool side bar he was getting wrecked at was Rehab?
May 24th, 2009 at 9:00 pm
Rehab is the name of the party. Everybody Gets Laid is the name of the band.
May 24th, 2009 at 9:29 pm
You call that partying? There wasnt one dead hooker or a table covered in blow. Shockey needs to get his SmartWater on – like Dreamboat Baby’s dad.
May 24th, 2009 at 9:42 pm
@Grimey
PCU is an underappreciated movie. Too bad Piven is a jackass now. Or more of one.
May 24th, 2009 at 10:27 pm
Hey, I get ‘dehydrated’ nearly every night. You don’t see me getting rushed to the hospital. I stumble in there on my own, thank you very much.
May 24th, 2009 at 11:14 pm
“Dehydration”, eh?
Thanks, Jeremy- I’ll remember that one. I usually blame my substance-abuse-related hospitalizations on “exhaustion”. Now I’ve got a new one.
May 24th, 2009 at 11:46 pm
Galifianakis is too good to work with that bullshit
May 24th, 2009 at 11:55 pm
The Hard Rock Hotel in Vegas is now a gay bar?
May 25th, 2009 at 1:52 am
Technically… alcohol causes major dehydration … so it’s technically the truth
He’s got some clever folks working his PR.
May 25th, 2009 at 1:58 am
Incidentally, the party he was at was named “Rehab.”
Also, what kind of douchebag names their parties?
May 25th, 2009 at 4:30 am
But what -technically- happened, skim172?
May 25th, 2009 at 10:31 am
Shockey needs to ask himself every day: What Would Breesus Do?
May 25th, 2009 at 10:42 am
The Tiger in the suite was a Bengal, and therefore was arrested long before anyone else in the movie.
+1, Ape, for the “in the face IN THE FACE!” tag
May 25th, 2009 at 10:44 am
Kudos to Jeremy and Matt Jones for their tireless work toward eliminating hurtful racial stereotypes in the NFL.
May 25th, 2009 at 10:48 am
The sad truth is … Shockey likes the warm feeling, but he’s tired of all the dehydration.
May 25th, 2009 at 11:27 am
I think it’s hilarious that there were “several NFL players” at the event and none of them seemed to give a crap about Shockey. He was found “alone” passed out.
Shockey: (to random passers-by) Hey brah, I don’t feel right….
Shockey: (5 minutes later) Yo brah….. sup… I dont feel straight…..
Shockey: (5 minutes later) Brah….. brah…… (blacks out)
May 25th, 2009 at 11:36 am
Setting: Poolside at the Hard Rock Hotel in Vegas. Everybody stoked for the “Rehab” party. Up in his suite, Jeremy Shockey puts the finishing touches on his ‘do with some Bed Head and a little pomade. He strides over to the full-length mirror and subtly flexes altenately his triceps and biceps. He admires how his muscles fill out the sleeves of his new “Affliction” tshirt, stretching the thin sleeves to their maximum. A subtle smile crosses his face. “Brah, I’s ready”.
30 minutes later….
Shockey is ensconced in a stool at the poolside blackjack table. His waitress brings another Vodka and Sugar Free Red Bull and sets it down by Shockey’s other 2. “Thanks, brah,” Shockey tells the female cocktail waitress. He proceeds to spill Vodka and Sugar Free Red Bull over the blackjack table, causing the dealer and other players to groan.
“Sir, we’re going to have to ask you to leave the table. This is the 4th time you have disrupted play.”
“S’okay, brah. I’s done anyways.” Shockey get up and leaves, double-fisting his remaining cocktails. “Yo, I feel like I’s back at the Super Bowl… double-fisting Vodka and Sugar-free Red Bulls. I think I’ll go sit down so I’ll feel even more like I’m at the Super Bowl.”
1 hours later…
Shockey: (to random passer-by) Hey brah, I don’t feel right….
Shockey: (5 minutes later) Yo brah….. sup… I dont feel straight…..
Shockey: (5 minutes later) Brah….. brah…… (blacks out)
May 25th, 2009 at 1:04 pm
What is the cap hit to the Saints for just cutting his ass? They have to at least be considering it…
May 25th, 2009 at 1:05 pm
Only a superstar like Shockey could go from zero to Busey in such a short span of time.
May 25th, 2009 at 1:56 pm
Jeremy Shockey says that you shouldn’t get drunk and pass out at the Hard Rock Hotel. Because your anus will hurt really, really bad in the morning.
May 25th, 2009 at 2:05 pm
Word out of “Rehab” is that Shockey was hitting the twisted tea pretty hard.
May 25th, 2009 at 2:38 pm
John Entwistle thinks Jeremy is a pussy & can’t close the deal
/actually love The Who & Entwistle
May 25th, 2009 at 3:24 pm
The way he went down was gritty and intelligent.
May 25th, 2009 at 3:45 pm
No TDs in ‘08, outplayed by a journeyman backup the Saints had cut several times, leaving voluntary team workouts just for this to happen… the downward spiral is in full effect.
May 25th, 2009 at 5:57 pm
@Sea Otter: the cap hit is nothing compared to the ego hit Sean Payton would take. Shockey’s his boy. He lobbied and pushed to have Shockey traded for.
May 25th, 2009 at 6:24 pm
Wouldn’t be surprised if he was doing blow off of the toilet seats like Jamaal Anderson.
May 25th, 2009 at 6:25 pm
+1 LFNR
If he’d been a black tight end, the way he went down would have been incredibly athletic.
May 25th, 2009 at 9:02 pm
HE DID NOTHIN’ WRONG HE’S JUST HAVIN’ FUN YOU CAN SHOVE THE GOSSIP UP YA ASSES!
/Mickey from Rockaway
//Still wears his Shockey jersey to Giants games
May 26th, 2009 at 10:50 pm
Leigh,
When they have pictures of your drunk ass passing out at the bar I’m pretty sure it’s fact not just gossip.