Incongruous Adjective Time — LenWhale’s Conditioning: “Amazing”; Jared Allen’s Ass: “Phenomenal”
LenDale White claims to have dropped about 25 pounds since last season and is said to be in “amazing” shape. Does this downgrade him to LenOrca? LenGiantSquid? Is the switch to Kentucky Grilled Chicken that dramatic? Either way, it remains to be seen whether he can keep the weight off. This is the guy who eats the food opposing fans hurl at him.
Elsewhere, Jared Allen, being a lifelong wearer of the skinny Wranglers, is more than ready for the arrival of Favre.
“I grew up on a horse ranch. My dad trained horses for 30 years. I like to rock the cowboy hat. People seem to like it too. I’m either wearing a baseball hat or a cowboy hat. You know the tight jeans, you can’t wear boots with baggy jeans plus you got to use the tools in your toolbox and let’s be honest, I’ve got a phenomenal ass!”
Tags: chicken joke bound to taken the wrong way, jared allen, lenwhale, xmas ape
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May 7th, 2009 at 1:57 pm
I can see Jared Allen boning his cousin right now.
May 7th, 2009 at 1:58 pm
Please no more Star Jones pics in either one of her sizes.
May 7th, 2009 at 2:01 pm
Is the switch to Kentucky Grilled Chicken that dramatic?
Kentucky stopped frying their chicken?
And Jared Allen was to be a land earl…or at least a viceroy…to the Land Baron.
May 7th, 2009 at 2:01 pm
Lengrouper must be in a contract year.
May 7th, 2009 at 2:01 pm
Not only did LenMarlin switch to Kentucky Grilled Chicken, he also drinks Diet Grape Soda and eats sugar-free watermelon.
/taking chicken joke the wrong way
//or am I?
May 7th, 2009 at 2:06 pm
So we can steam on the way to the telly go fill my belly
A t-bone steak, cheese eggs and Welch’s grape
Conversate for a few, cause in a few, we gon’ do
What we came to do, ain’t that right boo [truuuueee]
LenDolphin is only following the ways of the Master.
May 7th, 2009 at 2:08 pm
@Jackin: Is that Andy Williams or Josh Groban?
May 7th, 2009 at 2:09 pm
chicken joke bound to be taken the wrong way
RACE CARD! No, don’t accept it!
May 7th, 2009 at 2:10 pm
I consider myself among the world’s leading authorities on men’s asses, and I feel confident in asserting that Jared Allen’s ass is not particularly spectacular.
I could rank the best asses in the NFL, but I won’t. Let’s just say that Fitty’s badonk is verrrrrrrrrry high on the list.
May 7th, 2009 at 2:12 pm
how about “LenHelped me kick the shit out of everyone in FF last year”
suck it bitches
May 7th, 2009 at 2:15 pm
May 7th, 2009 at 2:20 pm
how about “LenHelped me kick the shit out of everyone in FF last year”
suck it bitches
…did you mix up the KSK comments with your Fantasy Football league email chain? I know, I know… the Internet can be very confusing.
May 7th, 2009 at 2:23 pm
Brett Favre’s pills + Jared Allen’s booze = Fuck yeah!
May 7th, 2009 at 2:25 pm
When did Fuzzy Zoeller start posting on KSK?
May 7th, 2009 at 2:27 pm
It’s this kind of media obsession with beauty that has young running backs starving themselves in a futile attempt to conform to your image of what a “perfect” running back looks like. I, for one, like my running backs natural, like Jerome Bettis, Ironhead Heyward or Kim Kardashian.
May 7th, 2009 at 2:28 pm
@FMRA: I don’t think you’re giving the proper respect to “PI Vacations”. Not only did he kick the shit out of everyone last year, he also implored the bitches to suck it (although he was not specific with regards to the “it” that needs to be sucked; while “his penis” seems likely, he could have a toe fetish). So please remember to provide propz commensurate to the skillz. Also, he has this shirt: http://www.amazon.com/Three-T-Shirt-Cotton-Sleeve-ADULTS/dp/B000NZW3JS/?tag
May 7th, 2009 at 2:40 pm
LenPorpoise
LenManatee
LenSeaCow
LenNarwal
LenBeluga
LenWhale(shark)
/jacques cousteau’d
LenJaguarShark
/steve zissou’d
May 7th, 2009 at 2:44 pm
I’ve heard the secret to LenDale’s conditioning… it involves a mirror, less than two hours of sleep a night– and his Deal… I mean “Trainer” call his “LenRail White”
//
May 7th, 2009 at 2:45 pm
// (His last name is the same color as his nose protein)
May 7th, 2009 at 3:30 pm
LeFarve’s nailed it: LenGrouper, Fat Blue, One, Each.
May 7th, 2009 at 3:43 pm
Et tu, Jared Allen?
/Drew
May 7th, 2009 at 4:43 pm
Jared Allen sounds like such a dink to hang out with. He’s 100% sober, likes to be on a ranch (a SOBER COWBOY? WHAAAA?) and shaves his hair into “wacky” symbols.
I bet he says “Brah” A LOT. Like Tyrese in 2 Fast 2 Furious a lot.
May 7th, 2009 at 5:10 pm
I grew up on a horse ranch. My dad trained horses for 30 years. I like to rock the cowboy hat. People seem to like it too. I’m either wearing a baseball hat or a cowboy hat. You know the tight jeans, you can’t wear boots with baggy jeans plus you got to use the tools in your toolbox and let’s be honest, I’ve got a phenomenal ass.
Alcohol is a Hell of a drug.
May 7th, 2009 at 8:20 pm
@ Ankiel
the two are somewhat interchangable.
May 8th, 2009 at 9:20 am
@SonOfSpam: How did you guess? You sir are a musical whiz!