This season the Miami Dolphins will furnish hand-held gizmos to 5,000 preferred season ticker holders. These devices– manufactured by Kangaroo Media– will allow fans to watch replays, access statistics and send text messages during the game. Y’know, all the things you could do for much, much less if you were watching from the comfort of your home.

Here’s a closer look at what some of these jolly, candy-like buttons can do:

dolphindealie


1- Nice old man reassures you that Ted Ginn, Jr.’s breakout season is “just around the corner”

2- Alternate audio track: Bill Parcells questions your manhood.

3- WILDCAT! WILDCAT! WILDCAT!

4- Ricky Williams’ option play (puff/pass)

5- Switch from Dolphins game to Miami’s favorite NFL team (N.Y. Giants, duh)

6- Greg Camarillo Grit-o-Meter (current reading: “extra coarse”)

[ Bloomberg ]