cowhersiren

Last week in the sexbag (by the way, send on your sexy preguntas here for inclusion in tomorrow’s column) Ufford chastised a Pittsburgh fan for asking whether it was okay to hate on Bill Cowher for sounding the conference championship losing alarm in Carolina when the Penguins were their opponent.

Well Ufford may love freedom and cat-related viral videos, but he hates on the ‘Burgh with regularity and he is wrong wrong wrong on this one. See, what instances like this do is allow the fan (i.e., me) some extreme catharsis. And since I don’t get laid because I’m a filthy blogger, that’s the best I can get.

Here’s the thing: Because Chinny up there was coach of the Stillers for 14 years, that’s a long stretch of being forced to apologize for his inveterate conference title choking and his Jon Scheyer-esque propensity for making stupid faces in photographs. And now, because he went and did this (Yes, there’s betrayal involved – it’d be one thing if he coached the Panthers, but the fact that he bought a home in Cackalacky and went to NC State back in the day doesn’t trump his connection to Pittsburgh sports, and, besides, having him do it is an obviously ploy by the Hurricanes to stick it to Pittsburgh fans), I am freed to mock him without compunction for looking like he’s about to about to hulk out out of his stupid red shirt and have his big chiclet teeth ravage downtown Raleigh.

So when KOGOD says in the photo he looks like he’s taking George Clooney’s Burn After Reading sybian chair for a spin, I can laugh without qualm. And laugh I shall YOU BIG RETARDED CHOKING KORDELL DEEP THROATING CHINNY ASSBAG!

Whew. That felt good.