Ashlee: Hey? Hey you guys? I can’t find my contact!
Britnee: Hang on, Britnee. I’ll help you look!
Courtnee: There’s a puppy across the street! That makes me happy!
Ashlee: Not now, Courtnee! I have to find my contact! Or the varsity will leave without us!
Britnee: Just ignore her. She always gets stupid when puppies are around.
Ashlee: What a bitch.
Britnee: Total bitch.
Ashlee: Stupid bitch.
Britnee: We’ll find it, let’s just keep looking.
Ashlee: Thanks, Brit. You’re such a good friend!
Courtnee: I think I’ll find that puppy a stick! [runs off]
Ashlee: I hope she impales herself on that stick!
Britnee: I hope that dog eats her whole stupid face.
Ashlee: What a bitch.
Britnee: Total bitch.
Ashlee: [yelling] Stupid bitch!
Britnee: So Ashlee?
Ashlee: Yeah, Brit?
Britnee: I want to eat your asshole out.
Ashlee: …what?
Britnee: It’s just that…I really like you, Ash. I just think that you’re so pretty, and I love being your friend. But I…I want to be more than just your friend.
Ashlee: But…you ARE more than my friend. You’re my best friend, Brit!
Britnee: Ashlee, I have to tongue out your anus. I need this. I need you. I need your butt.
Ashlee: Brit…you’re really making me uncomfortable.
Britnee: Just…just give me ten minutes. Okay? Five minutes? Just let me get the lay of the land in Hershey Valley.
Ashlee: No!
Britnee: Please?
Ashlee: [pauses] I found it! [pulls contact out of the grass and runs off]
Britnee: Dammit. [yelling] Come on Courtnee, let’s okay!
Courtnee: That doggie was really neat! I named him Fred!
Britnee: Whatever, let’s just go before Ashlee leaves us here.
Courtnee: Okay. So…is Ashlee gonna let you rim her?
Britnee: Oh yeah, I’m gonna lick that pooper til there’s no hole left.
Courtnee: Nice. Just don’t grab her by the insides of her thighs. She hates that. [Courtnee runs up to the car]
Britnee: CUNT!
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![[image]](http://cdn.ksk.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2011/08/punte-red-green-burst-650-150x150.jpg)
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“Just don’t grab her by the insides of her thighs. She hates that.”
Yeah, that’s the chocolate frosting on this fap cupcake.
punte, i’m just glad you’re using your awesome narrative powers for good rather than evil. carry on.
ARROWED!
I am disappointed by the lack of extra cheerleader pictures.
High school football season cannot come soon enough. :(
Should I be so turned on by this?
/slow clap
No Pacman, HinesWald, Ochocinco, or O’Sullivan cameo? Come on
+1 Animal Mother.
So Brittnee says “Hang on, Brittnee. I’ll help you look.” ? …Fail.
i agree….IM DRUNK. AND THIS POST IS AWESOMEEEEEEE…who does think anal licking is funnnnnny lick lick lop
This isn’t really fantasy at all, boys. I went to high school with girls/cheerleaders who more than likely had this conversation once or twice. The one suggesting it was a closeted lesbo who dropped out my junior or senior year and is now a model (who knew?) and the one agreeing was a stoner who now has a kid. And the third… well she was 4’11″ and made Forrest Gump look like Stephen Hawking so she fits in perfectly. Oh reality, how you ruin a perfectly fucked up fantasy concocted by lonely football-obsessed men.
/wonders what fucked up shit her boyfriend fantasizes about. Euuughhh
Ashlee: What a bitch.
Britnee: Total bitch.
Ashlee: Stupid bitch.
Peter: Lofty bitch.
Girls.
Girl/girl analingus is good. Almost as good as another New England Patriots championship.
Punte/KSK = Brian Russell/Seahawks
WHAT A TWEEST
Fuck and yes
trash
+1000 Moof!
I’m drunk and read this for the first time and I THINK ITS FUCKIN AWESOME WOOOOOOOOOOOOOo
I just read this for the first time and I think it blows.
Most random post we’ve had in a while…
And yet I feel slightly dissatisfied. As if it should have gone farther. How desensitized I’ve become. Thanks KSK.
wow
You broke my brain, in a good way.
Bravo.
Awesome Punter! Simply awesome. Gisele approves, too.
Hmm…interesting.
BTW…a friend of mine was drinking Twisted Teas tailgating at the Dave Matthews Band concert on Wednesday. I wanted to call him Tommy.
/back to drinking alone
at least she found her contact
squirt
fapulous
om nom nom?
I’m sure it was said but I’ll say it again… more of this please
Punte… you’re making me really uncomfortable.
You sir, are a sick, depraved, disgusting animal.
And the fact that you are a fellow Buckeye fan fills me with pride.
/ O-H!!!
i expected phillip rivers to pop up, but he never showed…
I’m into all assholes. I like it because it’s tinier than a pussyhole. It’s so tiny, it’s tinier than a clitoris. When i get the feeling of licking a york peppermint patty, it’s a sensation.
@UU Is “undedog” what you get when you mix a zombie and cream and puree in blender (or would that be undeadog)?
You know, if these had been Bama cheerleaders a strap-on would have been involved. Just saying.
dammit! long week
*I need to spell my screen name right
/Underdog
jeez Punte that’s just classic Punte
Good way to end the week.
KSK – your home for NFL commentary and co-ed fan fic.
And rape. Lots of rape.
Seriously though, no links to anything? Booooo.
No way Ashlee turns down a rimmer.
So basically you found a picture, came up with a quick dialog in your head while masturbating, and then regurgitated blog style. I love it.
I thought that after Punte’s With Leather post about Tyson’s daughter, he’d never be able to surprise me again. Damn, was I wrong.
We are the cunts who end in “nee.” Nee! Nee!
There are no words to describe how much I didn’t expect that
Totally wasnt expecting that.
But I liked it !!
And, with that, we can all now leave work to sail the seas of Twisted Teas.
not your best work but, little C-Student still moved a little.
aaaaand we have a winner
That’s funny… puppies make me happy too
Sexiest Sexy Friday ever? I’ll say it. Sexiest. Sexy. Friday. Ever.
this gives new meaning to Tommy Tuberville’s fear the thumb shirt he used to wear.
wow…hmmmm….
/crickets chirp
Punte… thank you, thank you very much.
Yes, yes, and yes, for the record.
Simply genius! BRA – fucking – O!
Do what now?
man, not mab! DAMMIT
/going home now
…..
That was comedy platinum PUNTE. My god mab, just why?
Britnee totally like spells her like name with a like heart over the “i” you know, like really.
ummmm yeah lost contact – rimming ummmm yeah – just cannot string a set of coherent words together
well that took a hard left turn.
Stunned silence.
Chris Hanson wants to have a word with you in the kitchen. Go on…..have a seat.
Obviously I’m too busy playing with myself to realize that these young women are wearing Auburn cheerleader uniforms. Auburn is, in fact, an American university where nearly all of its students would be at or above the age of consent.
But don’t take my word for it. I’m just store-brand dipshit.
Courtnee is a total bitch!
Gimme an R!
Hilarious post to end the week
Jesus…
I thought this was going to be Sexy Friday
wow…..just wow