Now that the NFL Draft has come and gone it’s time to hand the Friday Mock Drafts over to you, the reader. This week’s draft topic is inspired by a behind-the-scenes argument between members of KSK over whether Popeye’s is a better fast food option than Burger King. It is. By a lot. But what of all the other fast food options lurking out there? That’s where you come in. Everyone is free to draft their favorite fast food establishment in the comment section, but please, play by the rules*.
The guidelines are fairly simple. For the sake of clarity we’re limiting this draft to fast food chains. This means standalone eateries like The Apple Pan are not eligible.
I’ll get things started with a ceremonial first pick, In ‘N Out Burger. Sure they’re owned and operated by religious fanatics, but there is no better fast food burger out there. In fact it’s the only fast food burger I would comfortably pick ahead of my beloved Popeye’s.
*This means drafting one eatery at a time and waiting ten picks before selecting again.
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you don’t need party planners if you are just going to hold a very small party for your personal friends ,;.
No one has snagged Noodles and Company?
The wisconsin mac and cheese is ridiculous.
I may have to go with all CNY mom and pops FTW. I’m just going to call them a chain.
@ Upstate Underdog:
You are effing right, Spike’s Junkyard Dogs is unbelievable. I’m so glad they’ve spread around the Boston area in the last few years. The Texas Ranger is so delicious it makes me want to punch a baby.
Whataburger is the best and rapes your mouth with taste
But dude, he picked Moe’s likeeeeeeee….300 picks ago dude.
@Orange Julius Page
I really don’t care. It was worth mentioning twice. It’s just that god damned good fake beaner food.
Come to Montreal and get three michigans with onions (steamed hot dogs with the restaurant’s spaghetti sauce (no, not chili, motherfuckers…SPAGHETTI SAUCE. . . and a poutine (french fries, gravy and cheese curds) and it all comes with your own defibrillator to re-start your heart after. Awesome.
Maybe Winky’s? Oh, that was 25 years ago!
And it’s a chain, fucktards. I know fer sure because I went to another one in Northfield MN every Sunday for 4 years to extinguish keg party hangovers…
#2 — The A&W on Route 9 (I think) — the main drag — in Lake George NY on a summer afternoon. Root beer float please.
To you two fuckers that selected Fatburger and Five Guys, we have those in town and this place just came in and destroyed them.
SMASH BURGER!
http://www.mysmashburger.com/
Dick’s in seattle!
From my days in Cincinnati (since someone else got Skyline): Penn Station. Chicken Teriyaki sammich with those outstanding fries. And fresh-squeezed lemonade FTW.
WF
@Some Dude,
Sorry, but I picked Moe’s like 300 picks ago.
Boardwalk Fries.
They were in my building at Penn State. Great cheap food, and I love me some fries with Old Bay seasoning.
Johnnie’s Beef in Elmwood Park, IL (never been to the other locations)
Best Italian beef I’ve ever had in Chicagoland (I’m a native). Be sure to make it wet and get the hot and the sweet.
Welcome to mother fuckin’ Moe’s!
5 Guys, Skyline Chili, and Tim Horton’s in that order.
How about Halo Burger with HQ in Flint, MI. How many fast food restaurants have smoking sections? One, and it’s Halo Burger.
Pick up Stix imo
Anderson’s Frozen Custard and Roast Beef. Die Arby’s : http://www.andersonscustard.com/roast_beef.php
Ohmifuckinggodsohigh
Also, because they have 2 locations, it counts: Nick Tahou’s (Stevie T’s Hots) in Rochester, NY
Garbage Plate: http://www.cse.buffalo.edu/~burrows3/garbage%20plate.jpg
Jim’s Steak Out in Buffalo – Chicken Finger Sub in the only town that gets that shit right: extra hot, bleu cheese AND provolone cheese.
Also: Check the Stinger – steak&chickenfingers&mayo&specialsauce&weed(?)
http://jimssteakout.com/menu.html
Thanks to all of you cuntwaffles for reminding me of all of the delicious grease I enjoyed in good old upstate SC when I lived there for 2 years.
I miss Zaxbys, best chicken fingers ever, cant count out the texas toast…
The Beacon Drive-In: Maybe not fast food in the traditional sense, but you get your shit in under a minute. As far as I know it is only in Spartanburg SC. Chilli-cheese-a-plenty with about 9 strips of bacon covered with like 3 lbs of fries and onion rings. It makes the monster burger from hardees look like a salad. mmmmmm…. grease orgasm. yes, i am fat.
not sure if this counts but Peteys burger wins for best theme song evar
http://www.peteysburger.com/
extra points because they arent actually open 24/7
All the way from Hawaii:
ZIPPYS
Nothing better than their chili and rice at 0400 when you’re completely fucking shitfaced.
Throw a Zip pac on top?
Game over.
http://www.zippys.com/
Los Panchos in San Diego (3 or 4 different locations), but if that doesn’t qualify, El Pollo Loco is still left? Way fucking better than that Taco Bell/ Del Taco bullshit.
Not a chain but Daglas’ pastrami burgers and the big brown lunch-bag full of seasoned fries are worth going into the San Fernando Valley for everytime I’m in LA.
Brock wins. Freebird’s is absolutely perfect. Chipotle Tortillas? Yes please.
Day later, and I still get the steal of the draft. Kopps in Milwaukee. No better out there
@ CGC, UU & Gooch: Not really within the rules for a pick as it isn’t a chain, but how about Johnny’s Big Red Hot Truck that used to park at the U-Halls @ Cornell. Back in college, I used to hike my broke, carless ass uphill both ways (Ithaca being the only place you can actually do that in real life) in a blizzard to get that shit.
When you are in New Orleans, it is Bud’s Broiler:
http://www.budsbroiler.com/items.shtml
http://blackenedout.blogspot.com/2008/07/late-night-eats-with-pope.html
What’s the fucking point of these drafts if submitters can’t follow the rules of not repeating and don’t know the difference between fast food and sit down restaurants. If someone comes to take your order at a table, it’s not fast food. If the menu is not on the wall, it’s not fast food. And since this was about chains, local stand-alone places don’t count. Read and follow the fucking rules or as this list proves, it’s just a list of guys typing “In and Out Burger” or whatever shit-hole they regularly wander in to drunk.
Rant aside, I’ll go defunct with Burger Chef (1954-1996) – had a “works bar” which was ten times more dangerous than any swine flu bug. Kind of like fast food Russian Roulette.
+1 superguard
S&R is closest to work. Everyone knows Lupo’s is the home of the real spiedie.
Now, if we could only get a Ted’s Hots down here …
Fuck all of you that think five guys is like In and Out. In and Out has a way better burger not to mention the price you pay for five guys is a rip off. they also don’t grill everything so its like your eating raw mushrooms and onions who the hell likes that. Not to mention anyone can put bbq sauce on a burger but there’s only one In and Out sauce of awesomeness.
@spanky datass: There is Tex-Mex in Oklahoma? No wonder why it’s cheap.
I’m partial to Subway. I take foot longs the same way Jared does. Anally.
http://www.nothai.com/
no thai, of course
No need to overpay high draft picks. I’ll take these free agents:
Cherry Valley Deli
Sarku Japan
Kennedy Fried Chicken
Brgr
Pinkberry
Five Guys and In ‘N Out are interchangeable. I’ve lived in both CA and NC and they taste the same. Cheesy, greasy, meaty, and motherfucking delicious.
Nice recommendations from the big cities. I will drive my RV to these restaurants and eat their food. I hope they’re open in 40 years.
I’ll take all your mothers’ pastrami tacos. Cheap and sloppy.
Toone P. Wiggins!
@rodgers — excellent choice. I almost went with the S&R Pit over Lupo’s because of their specialty sandwiches.
Roscoe’s Chicken and Waffles……………..anyone?……………anyone?
@Gino: Leann Chin’s is the shit!!
I read everything and didn’t see Burracho’s. Just like Chipotle but better, in the midwest.
Ben’s Chili Bowl.
Back Yard Burger, bitches! The Bacon Cheddar Burger is the best drive-through burger EVAR.
With the 336th pick in the 2009 … fuck it. Spiedie & Rib Pit in Binghamton, unless Heid’s of Liverpool counts as a chain.
Can’t believe all y’all took DP Dough, CTB, AND Viva. Do people major in food at IC?
/Knows Rudy’s is the real place to go in Oswego.
@ROCCO, shit, you took everything in the area. Sucks not having a computer at work. Did you get the chicken sandwich at the old Pink too?
sure they might not be a chain, but Burger Hut actually has 2 locations in Butler Pa.. unreal fucking chili cheeseburger.. and the hot dog shop.. makes any other hot dog look like a pussy
Dammit SDBruin, King Tacoo is a solid pick.
For the Chicago area gotta go with Lou Malnatis.
For the Quad Cities gotta go with Harris Pizza – multiple locals.
As for the “-Bertos” in SoCal, I’m quite partial to Robertos. Carne asada burrito and rolled tacos. Fuck yeah.
Wow. Lots of places.
I’ll go with Norm’s Burgers on Whittier Blvd. “Don’t forget the pastrami!”
Fuck. Looks like Tracer Bullet took it. Nevermind.
I’ll have to settle for disgusting, disgusting Cluck U then.
I glossed over the comments, so I could be wrong, but I think I just got Baja Fresh 300+ picks in. That’s value. James Harrison as an undrafted free agent value. Granted, the stupid assholes got rid of Burrito Dos Manos, but their Diablo Shrimp Burrito is the tits. Especially because it doesn’t skimp on the skrimps.
And because I know no one else wants it, I’ll take Cluck U Chicken. Me and Cluck U-Pac rule College Park.
Count in another Upstate NYer who can’t believe Rocco got Mighty and Jim’s. I think you might be reaching for Duff’s, though. Does it count as a chain when there are only two locations?
I’ll take Pita Pit. I lived on their chicken caesar pitas in school.
@ Jackin 4 Beats
Being a former Charlottesville native I couldn’t agree more. Do you like the Whitespot as well?
Notes about 3 picks:
I’ve lived in Detroit: The whole city sucks, Pizzapopulus is decent
I’ve lived in KC: Oklahoma Joes > Arthur Bryants
Harold’s Chicken’s logo= most racist promotion since Jiggaboo Bright Toothpaste…. there is a guy in black guy chasing a chicken with a hatchet
(http://blogs.citypages.com/food/harolds%20chicken.jpg) The blog does it no justice.
Platters in Midtown, and the tons of halal knockoffs all over NYC
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/53rd_and_6th
Minneapolis-St. Paul pick:
Leann Chin’s. It’s similar in design to Panda Express, but far, far better. The ingredients, sauces, etc. make Panda Express seem like hot brown slop in a trough by comparisson.
Get two Chin Dynasty Platters (combo of your choice of chicken, beef or shrimp) with fried rice. Eat one there, get the other to go and put it in the fridge- it makes a great drunken/stoned midnight snack. You know, it’s quite rare for grub from a fast food joint to be any good as leftovers but Leann Chin’s Comtemporary Asian Cuisine always comes through.
http://www.leeannchin.com/
Can’t believe it hasn’t been taken yet, but Filiberto’s. I think it’s only an Arizona and California thing but godamn I’m surprised it made it this far. Maybe the best Mexican I’ve had (more Tex-Mex than fastfood/Taco Bell type stuff), cheap, and has a 24-hour drive-thru. Carne asada and guac burrito with rice and beans at 4 in the morning. Fuck and yes
subway.
/banned for picking “healthy”
Mmmmmm, Krusty Partially-Gelatinated Non-Dairy Gum-Based Beverage…
King Taco in the L.A. area. You will wake up “changed” after a late night feast.
http://www.kingtaco.com/
Going away pick….
Another Chicago gem is A.P.Deli. Best corned beef sandwich in history – it’s piled so high you can’t even fit it in your mouth.
http://apdeli.com/ourmenu.asp
Boston Market still up there? The chicken is just so damn good. After you get your swell on it’s a place you can load up and feel like it’s healthy too.
@Coach Bombay- if you go back to Ithaca try the Brooklyn Biali. Same as you said but on biali. holy shit
Taco Bueno. A Visanthe Shiancoe-sized burrito for $1.99, and “party tacos” that are 80% the size of the normal tacos but you don’t feel bad about eating 36 of them.
Also, might I respectfully submit JC’s Burger House. Because a burger the size of a Mini Cooper can’t be anything but an awesome idea.
@Coach Gordon: Upstate covers a lot of ground man. I couldn’t tell you shit about the Albany area.
@LaFavre’s Next Retirement: oh god yes, Harrison’s fries are outstanding. I miss that place. Especially the smiling faces behind the counter. I also love their ordering system they call out which bears no similarity to what’s on the board. ‘Med. Radish. Sauce.’ is my standard.
The Red Squirrel. Double-decker sandwiches in Cincinnati. Pretty darn great.
From the 313…
Tubby Subs.
I live in ‘tucky now and when people come down to visit the requirement is they stop and bring this.
Big Kahuna Burger. It’s that HAW-waiian burger joint. It’s a tasty burger. If you like burgers try one some time. Me, I can’t usually get ‘em because my girlfriend’s a vegetarian, which pretty much makes me a vegetarian, but I do love the taste of a good burger.
Do you mind if I have some of your tasty beverage to wash this down? Ah, that hit the spot.
I’m all Chicago-centric for this draft.
Harold’s Chicken Shack. That place is the holy grail for sick bastards like me that want to eat a whole 8-piece dark bucket with extra bbq sauce. That place is so good it has a fan site.
http://haroldschicken.com/
@Quentin: Ah yes, the CTB. Their Brooklyn Bagel (egg, bacon, cheese on homemade bagels) is the tits. Also the Southwest Sourdough. omg I just came in my pants. Oh man, I’m so fucking hungry right now and I’m 8 hours away from Ithaca. :(
I’m surprised at how many people on KSK are from around Upstate.
@Superguard9: Speedies from Binghamton are awesome indeed.
@Gino: Can I also get a party-size bucket of flan?
@Otto Man I guess I always just assumed you were a kansas citian, but since you obviously arent and no one took it, our crown jewel Winsteads FTW.
@newhope Oklahoma Joes= awesome.
@Gordon Bombay-Viva can’t count, but you can be sure as shit College Town Bagels counts. Oh I how I loved going there watching the hippies puor me coffees and slice bagels with their tats everywhere, and then going back at night for pints of saranac black forest. College was very good.
Also form my time back east, Duchess
My pick is European McDonalds. When you spend a semester abroad, you drink a lot. and two cheeseburgers for the equivalent of $1.25 sounds really damn good when you’re drunk.
I don’t know how it is for the rest of Europe, but did you know Italian McDonald’s sell beer? That blew my mind.