Breesus Don’t Want Me for a Sunbeam

breesusandthelame

While you’re clicking “refresh” for this week’s Monday Afternoon Quarterbacking of Monday Morning Quarterback (Drew’s on vacation this week, so Punter’s filling in), here are some lovely creations from master of the Interwebs LSUfreek.  Like most Saints fans, freek has a justifiable love of Drew Brees, but I don’t know about these Photoshops.  I mean, I’ll allow that Brees might be the second coming of Christ, but healing Reggie Bush?  I doubt it.

If it weren’t Monday morning and we had something ready, these images would be worked into a new KSKharacter sketch, or maybe a “God explains…” post.  But it’s Monday and the offseason, so you’re just gonna have to close your eyes and pretend.  Kinda like how you have sex.

[tomb flies open]

breesusraisingthedead

Anyhoo, I guess it’s time for us to make Hurricane Katrina jokes.  A “flood” of them, perhaps?  Wokka wokka.

breesus-hail-mary

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26 Responses to “Breesus Don’t Want Me for a Sunbeam”

  1. Westbrook Is My Anti-Drug Says:

    I feel like there should be a sacrelicious tag here somewhere.

  2. RobFitz Says:

    I’ll take Purple Jesus as the more accurate one. See, because he’s black? Like real Jesus?

  3. Lil Lebowski Urban Achievers Says:

    /Purdue alum
    /Breesus pwned the “Sport Science” episode featuring him
    /http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tVoqA-LKGb4

  4. Lil Lebowski Urban Achievers Says:

    @LLUA you big dummy. Try again.

    Slow clap

    /Purdue alum
    /blah blah blah

  5. Pacman's Bodyguard Says:

    Surely a possible LaToeInjury trade could have been worked in here somehow. If Breesus is powerful enough to make even Reggie Bush look useful, I bet he can take care of turf toe in about 10 seconds.

    /are there bikes in ‘nawlins?
    //BIKE BIKE BIKE

  6. Billy Says:

    Mmmm… sacrilicious……

  7. Bill Brasky Says:

    That’s a sweet mullet.

  8. TurleyGirlie Says:

    Ahhh…what a beautiful way to start off a Monday. Breesus indeed.

  9. LaFavre's Next Retirement Says:

    When I close my eyes and pretend, all I see is God shaking his head at me..

  10. Reggie Bush's Pimp Says:

    Dear Lord Breesus, ye of the short stature but incredible poise in the pocket
    Heal Reggie Bush’s many injuries, obtained as he climbed Mount Kardassian
    And have him fit and ready so that the Black & Gold may finally reach the Promised Land
    Breesus, to you we pray, in the name of the Dome Patrol and Buddy D.
    Amen.

  11. Godzilla Biscuits Says:

    Saints Unplugged: Why Drew Brees decided to stay in a city with an ominous death rattle to play in an hurricane-battered and supremely outdated stadium until 2025!

  12. Hakim Drops the Ball Says:

    @Godzilla Biscuits: May be outdated, but the Superdome is going to get a few more Super Bowls under that new roof before it’s all said done. Geaux Saints!!!

    /homer’d

  13. Hakim Drops the Ball Says:

    “said AND done.”

  14. jackin'4beats Says:

    This is funny in a going to hell kinda way.

    /getting my gasoline drawz ready.

  15. Animal Mother Says:

    Notice how LT can’t seem to stay healthy since Brees left Still Classy San Diego? A coincidence? I think not.

    Jesus – turned water into wine
    Breesus – turned whiners into winners

  16. AKAggie Says:

    Drew’s on vacation. More like is mom kicked him out of her basement. Dated pun.

    /Reilly’d

  17. Mike D Says:

    If Drew is Breesus, then Jake Delhomme has to be Judas (or some minor Bible character like Dorcas)

  18. Mike D Says:

    Phillip Rivers would be Pontius Pilate (”You’re not the Son of God? What? FUCK YOU!”)

  19. BigJDelux Says:

    Rivers would be Lazer-us! Throwing floaters for 3 days until Breesus touched his forehead, killing him and saving humanity from hearing Rivers tell us how awesome he is.

  20. Gino Tourettsa Says:

    I guess you can get stigmata on your face.

  21. Aaron Says:

    This is bullshit. No one cares about the Saints. That’s why this government is trying to drown them. There is only one sacriligious football player, and his name is Purple Jesus. PJ would win over 5′2″ Brees any day of the week.

    Plus, no Jesus figure would be so stupid to let a giant mole continue to run rampant on his mug. What a cunt.

  22. Reggie Bush's Pimp Says:

    This is bullshit. No one cares about the Saints.

    What? HUH? WHAT?! F-CK YOU!!

    /not everyone in here roots for the Pawtriahts or the Sixburgh Stillazz

  23. Aaron's dad Says:

    Aaron, what are you doing leaving the basement. Grabbing toes time isn’t over yet!

  24. Aaron Says:

    @RBP … Uh, I’m missing the Bahston reference to me. Couldn’t we make a Fargo joke or something? Even a 0-4 Super Bowl jab?

    @AD … You’d be impressed with what I can do while tickling both our toes, pops.

  25. synapticmisfires Says:

    missing “sacrilicious” tag

  26. DeepFriar Says:

    Not even the Son of God can help a defense that parts like the Red Sea.

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