peter-kingMortimer must be his butler. “Enough of the zany fun. Time to go to work. It’s a writing day in the King condo in the South End of Boston. Envy you, Mortimer.” [Twitter]

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16 Responses to “”

  1. Animal Mother Says:

    I’m pretty sure Morty’s Twitter goes, “Murder is the only way out. Where could I possible hide his bloated corpse?”

    /Great murder. Lofty murder.

  2. StuScottBooyahs Says:

    MORTIMER!!! You call this COFFEE?? *hurls it in his face*

  3. poop Says:

    Mortimer is probably some homelss guy he met on his way to Dunkin’ Donuts. Next Week’s column will all be about how lucky people are to be unemployed and have no mortgage.

  4. Nom de Plume Says:

    It’s a writing day

    “Day”? It takes him a whole day?

  5. Buttsmack O'Kelley Says:

    mortimer, your tweets define clutch!

  6. Bill Brasky Says:

    I wonder what Billy Ray Valentine thinks about all this.

  7. LaFavre's Next Retirement Says:

    Mortimer, take the day off. I’m walking today.

  8. Windy City Sulker Says:

    Mortimer, I’m feeling peckish. Do we have any gourmet dog treats left?

  9. CR Says:

    Mortimer = pet name for Brett Favre. Brett calls PK Jeeves. Its all very sophisticated.

  10. StuScottBooyahs Says:

    @CR: They have each other over for tea and sodomy.

  11. Birdman Says:

    From King’s other tweets, Mortimer is clearly Chris Mortensen. Why is PK envious of Mort? PK is writing while Mort is WORKING THE LAND!
    http://twitter.com/mortreport/status/1947631417

  12. Doc Holliday Says:

    What about Randolph? Are King, Mortimer and Randolph making racist jokes about black players?

  13. CR Says:

    @StuScott: there’s a teabagging joke in there somewhere but I just ate lunch.

  14. Admiral Snackbar Says:

    “Mortimer” is King’s code name for the LAND BARON.

  15. Gogetyourshinebox Says:

    On your knees mortimer…. time to service the King

  16. JaysonAych Says:

    [i]Nom de Plume wrote:
    It’s a writing day

    “Day”? It takes him a whole day?[/i]

    No, it’s just that the other 6 days of the week, he does no writing. It gets in the way of his coffee and bitching about hotels.

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