‘A rickety tackler with a Frank Gehry eye for angles.’
The greatest fuel for hatred is a combination of knowledge and helplessness. Seahawks fans are helpless to stop Brian Russell’s third year in Seattle this fall, yet we are saddled with the knowledge of his utter lack of worth as a professional football player — a lack of worth that, when detailed on a blog, is so lengthy that it takes two posts to encompass. Read our misery over at Field Gulls: part 1 here, part 2 here.
Or, if you don’t feel like reading but would like to help out, murder Brian Russell. Murder him dead.
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Wait, so that guy isn’t Jason Sehorn?
Give sheep the vote?
Why the fuck did they keep that fat walrus Holmgren around for one last year?
Still a Chickens fan
What are ya gonna do?
Thanks CC, for reminding us that there are Seahawks fans. I feel much better about my direction in life.
As a Vikings fan all I can say is “you’re welcome”.
Feel better soon.
Look at it this way, if Russell really does get the start this year instead of Jamar Adams, the Seahawks will have a few nationally syndicated posts on KSK this year, featuring some cool animated gifs of Russell wiffing on tackles.
Just wait till Mora gets D-Hall up there after the skins release him.
as a northwest native, we are use to mediocrity in sports… the best thing we have up here is a Griffey Jr who is no longer “the kid”
Russell is a perfect fit for a team that is content with a average performance
Brian Russell, AKA is the fucking anti-christ, I hope he gets his legs…. okay one leg, severed and ends his career. DONT FUCK OUR SEASON UP YOU WHITE DEVIL!!! GO HAWKS!
@Jesus
Maybe Sean Taylor will show that soon-to-be-named Seahawk player how to avoid rotting. He’s had a year or so down there to learn the ropes.
Cedric Benson was unavailabe for comment as he was on his boat sippin on gin and juice getting beaten by a cop.
/Bears Fan…not that im bitter about ANOTHER first round draft pick bust.
I hope that player is Brian Russell, and I hope all bitchy crybaby Redskin fans get the proper treatment for their yeast infections.
I was at that Bears game that is depicted in the photo (we won, btw), and I remember that Benson run very well. It was the classic “defense blitzes left while the offense runs to the right” situation, so that the only man standing 32 yards between Cedric and the end zone was Brian fucking Russell. Suffice it to say, Russell slid right off of Benson milliseconds after meeting him head-on, and the rest is immortalized above.
Oh yeah, the Bears dumped Benson after the 2007 season, and Russell is still here. That makes total sense.
This is called Karma for all the shit talked about a dead Redskins Safety by Seahags fans. May your next player to die rot in hell.
He doesn’t bite on play action very often and does keep most plays ahead of him. He’s a poor tackler, but not onerously poor, just poor enough to be funny. If a team wants a player that will stay in deep cover and keep pass plays from becoming touchdowns, expecting nothing else, that’s Brian Russell. That’s the very heart of the problem.
That is truly the saddest description of a football player I have ever seen. It just warms my heart to know that whichever coach he’s banging will be keeping him on the roster AGAIN this season. If only Seattle would have just upgraded with Roy Williams, you wouldn’t have agita everytime Russell zoned in to “make the tackle.”
/uncontrollable laughing
It doesn’t really matter. The Seahawks could have Ronnie Lott back there and they’d still suck.
So, he is the David Ekstein of Football.
FREE JAMAR ADAMS!
The Vikes had to put up with his shit smear for several years as well. The weird thing is that him and Corey Chavous (/throwing up) made a decent safety tandem once. I have no idea what happened.
How we ever let this player full of heart and drive get away, I’ll never know …
Is this not true of EVERY Seahawk, except Hasselbeck?
Yes, every player on the team except the star quarterback is terrible.
/wanking motion
“He’s a losing strategy embodied, and Seattle’s coaches aren’t blind or stupid, they’re just mistaken.”
That’s a fantastically awesome description. I want to watch Seahawks games now just to see this guy in action.
“his utter lack of worth as a professional football player — a lack of worth that, when detailed on a blog, is so lengthy that it takes two posts to encompass”
Is this not true of EVERY Seahawk, except Hasselbeck?
Why yes, yes it is.
I can talk to a few season ticket holders who would gladly knee cap him for some Starbucks gift cards, a new laptop with Windows 7, and a guest spot on Grey’s Anatomy. If the KSK faithful can pony up these things, I’m sure we can come to an arrangement.
I also forgot to mention that Russell is quite the leader. And very disciplined on the field. That more than makes up for the fact that he tackles like a Spanish soccer player.
If I have to put up with the Bear’s secondary, it seems only fair that you should have to put up with Brian Russell. Take solace in the knowledge that I’ll be gnashing my teeth just as hard this season.
Brian Russell seems like a good player for you guys. I don’t know why you don’t like him. Sure, he’s a bit slow, but he’s a savvy veteran. He can make up for his lack of foot speed by playing with guts and heart. I think the Seahawks are set at safety for a few seasons more, at least. Because he’s so crafty, he could play until he’s 40!