ALL THAT REMAINS IS A BULLET TO THE ASS AND A FIGHT WITH A BENGALS LINEBACKER LINEMAN IN VEGAS. And then the transformation from James Harrison to Joey Porter will be complete. The latest indication: Harrison’s son, appropriately named James Harrison III (THAT’S HOW YOU KNOW HE’S LOYAL TO JAMES HARRISON!), has been hospitalized after being attacked by one of his father’s dogs. Perhaps Harrison is a lycanpeezy and only exhibits Peezy-like tendencies under the glow of a full moon. Though his reticence suggests he’s got some zombie Greg Lloyd in him as well. Hybrid monster!
Tags: i'm still gay for james harrison even if he is crazy or stupid, Will no one blame the pit bulls?, xmas ape
May 22nd, 2009 at 1:08 pm
Tell me that the pit bull is named James Harrison IV…
May 22nd, 2009 at 1:10 pm
Porter fought Levi Jones, an OT.
I love how crazy Pittsburgh linebackers are. It’s just after 40 time and just before bench press reps in their favorite measurable.
May 22nd, 2009 at 1:12 pm
I heard the pit bull was possessed by the devil after Harrison was done worshipping him.
May 22nd, 2009 at 1:15 pm
Maybe the dog was just trying to take the kid to go get baptized?
May 22nd, 2009 at 1:16 pm
I bet the Pit Bull is a bitch named Francisco.
May 22nd, 2009 at 1:30 pm
To be fair the pit bull refused to bite anybody else’s kid.
May 22nd, 2009 at 1:32 pm
See, now that dog, it’ll bite anyone. That’s why I have that dog. JH,Jr
May 22nd, 2009 at 1:32 pm
Don’t fuck with Obama. The rest of you have been warned.
May 22nd, 2009 at 1:37 pm
Hines no fuck with plesident. He have smirre you can be aberr to berieve in!
May 22nd, 2009 at 2:03 pm
The dog sensed that the boy would have called any man who happened to be his biological father “daddy”. James Harrison’s dog isn’t down with such disloyalty.
May 22nd, 2009 at 2:07 pm
Nice Yogi Berra-ish quote at the end of the article from Harrison:
“Everything in the newspaper, half of it is B.S.”
Well played, sir.
May 22nd, 2009 at 2:28 pm
FIX YO DOG!
May 22nd, 2009 at 2:36 pm
That pitbull just got sick of eating tired old everydog food.
May 22nd, 2009 at 2:46 pm
They need to put a Steelers lineman between the dog and the boy at all times. That way the dog will be held off of him no matter what.
May 22nd, 2009 at 2:48 pm
this is why we need dogfighting in professional football.
kill dogs not kids!
May 22nd, 2009 at 2:52 pm
remember that the child are our future, unless pit bulls eat all of them.
May 22nd, 2009 at 2:54 pm
Bad Father Rule #1: Surround your young children with as many shelter-raised pitbulls as possible. They are predictable and also cuddly.
May 22nd, 2009 at 3:01 pm
If we sent all the Pit Bulls to Pittsburgh, would the Pit Bulls eat all the Stiller fans, or would the Stiller fans eat all the Pit Bulls?
May 22nd, 2009 at 3:15 pm
Wow. That “Gay for James Harrison” tag is getting a lot of use this week.
I wouldn’t be surprised if a dogfighting ring was discovered in Pittsburgh. Probably in the basement of one of those other Rooney brothers who had to sell their shares of the team.
May 22nd, 2009 at 3:24 pm
Note the soulless, demonic gaze of the Terrible Towel Dog in that picture. One of Cerberus’ deformed pups is a Steelers fan.
May 22nd, 2009 at 3:53 pm
Michael Vick just spoke with his agent to see how he can monetize this.
May 22nd, 2009 at 3:56 pm
heh heh. lycanpeezy. heh heh. good one.
May 22nd, 2009 at 4:26 pm
You see? Harrison had a perfectly legitimate excuse for not meeting the president today. He’s not afraid of flying. He’d already made an appointment for one of his killer pit bulls to maul members of his family. I owe him an apology.
May 22nd, 2009 at 7:05 pm
The Steelers met the president on Thursday. YOU OWE HIM NOTHING!
May 22nd, 2009 at 11:41 pm
Well shit, I’d been out of the loop and the article on usatoday.com lied to me. You’re right. Fuck him and usatoday.com!
May 23rd, 2009 at 12:12 am
Is that dog just any “Man’s Best Friend”? I think that JH III knew the real deal, dog.