FAVRE TO STAY RETIRED UNTIL HE DOESN’T STAY RETIRED AND SO ON. The latest comes courtesy Yahoo!, citing a team source saying Britfar doesn’t want to sign with the Vikings. This, of course, precedes tomorrow’s announcement that Tony Boselli dined at Toone P. Wiggins and heard a distinct voice in the restroom that he knew to be Favre’s utter “MAYBE!” Then in the coming days white smoke will issue from the Vatican, and Brett Favre will be named the next Pope of Chilitown. But that report will be rescinded by the reverse vampires, working in conjunction with FOX Sports and soon, before anyone has realized it, Favre will be named unquestioned lord and master of the universe and will force Drew Magary to stand before him and repeat “Meh” until such time that Drew’s gray matter spews forth from his nostrils. The End?
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- CATS CHILLIN’ TO THESE WEEKEND LINKS
- JAPANESE COUGH DROP COMMERCIAL FTW
- NBC UNCANCELS ‘TRAUMA’
- ZOMG! ‘LOST’ PREMIERE DATE SET!
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TAKE BACK THE SEATS
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THE PERFECT GIFT FOR THE JACKASS IN YOUR LIFE
three-time champs in meaningless awards
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May 7th, 2009 at 4:43 pm
I won’t believe Favre’s not coming back until I hear Mort confirm that he’s signed with the Vikings.
May 7th, 2009 at 4:48 pm
I wont believe it until week 13 of the regular season
May 7th, 2009 at 4:49 pm
Yeah right, and I’m *not* gonna pay alot for this muffler. They’re all cheats and liars!
May 7th, 2009 at 4:49 pm
Combined with the Manny Ramirez story, if Mike Vick gets released from jail only to run over a dog with his car on the way out ESPN might explode…wait a minute. Do it Mike! Do it!
May 7th, 2009 at 4:50 pm
alternate ending: DREW IS FAVRE
SOYLENT GREEN IS DREW
IT’S DRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWW
May 7th, 2009 at 4:50 pm
Have you ever seen Drew and Favre in the same room together?
May 7th, 2009 at 4:53 pm
DREW IS FAVRE
/vomits
May 7th, 2009 at 4:53 pm
Drew’s just having fun, he’s like a kid.
May 7th, 2009 at 4:54 pm
Have you ever seen Drew and Favre in the same room together?
I believe Jean-Paul Sartre wrote a play about this.
May 7th, 2009 at 5:07 pm
I believe Jean-Paul Sartre wrote a play about this.
He wrote Ace Ventura?
May 7th, 2009 at 5:08 pm
@KOGOD: everyone knows Tenneesse Williams wrote Cat on a Hot-Tinned Roof. BrittFar would make a great Maggie.
May 7th, 2009 at 5:09 pm
+1 for the Pope of Chilitown.
Does that mean Favre has Chili Boots? Or a Papal Chili Hat? Or does he just wear Chilly on his head, seeing as how he’s such an asshat?
May 7th, 2009 at 5:13 pm
“reverse vampires” needs a gratuitous simpsons reference tag
May 7th, 2009 at 5:17 pm
In that case, petarded king, so does Pope of Chili Town.
May 7th, 2009 at 5:20 pm
As Robin knows, we papists don’t eat chili because it makes us fart in church. Then we have to sit in our own p.u.
/HARF HARF
May 7th, 2009 at 5:22 pm
THIS JUST IN:
Brett Favre to remain a self-absorbed asshole.
May 7th, 2009 at 5:27 pm
EVERYTHING MUST BE PROPERLY TAGGED OR THE READERS WILL REVOLT
May 7th, 2009 at 5:39 pm
Where are you when we need you, Jay Glazer?
May 7th, 2009 at 5:50 pm
meh
May 7th, 2009 at 5:57 pm
Does Yahoo sports just filter though everyone’s email to find their stories?
May 7th, 2009 at 6:16 pm
But did PK pay Boselli’s tab by mistake?
May 7th, 2009 at 6:46 pm
And here I am thinking that Howie Long is Shrek, when he is actually a reverse vampire.
Who would have thunk it?
May 7th, 2009 at 8:26 pm
“IN A WORLD WHERE SPORTS NEWS MUST ONLY BE ABOUT OTHER SPORTS NEWS COMES THE ONE MAN WHO CAN STOP IT…BY STAYING HOME AND WORKING THE LAND. BRETT FAVRE IS BRETT FAVRE IN: THE MAN WHO WOULDN’T FUCKING RETIRE. CO-STARRING PETER KING AS ‘FLUFFER PETE’ AND BRAD CHILDRESS AS ‘THE ENABLER.’ YOU WILL CREAM IN YOUR CHEESE FOR…
THE MAN WHO WOULDN’T FUCKING RETIRE. COMING CONSTANTLY TO FOOTBALL NEAR YOU. RATED SHIT.”
May 7th, 2009 at 8:41 pm
Your gun is digging into my hip
May 7th, 2009 at 8:58 pm
Brett Favre can’t just sign with the first suitor that shows up on the porch in Mississipi. A fine Southern lady has to take her time, and find the right boy. Wait till the Danny flies down in Juuuly.
May 7th, 2009 at 9:41 pm
Did anyone know that I caused my son Aspergers by using steroids. Check out my twitter at http://www.twitter.com/curtschilling
May 7th, 2009 at 9:43 pm
I know I should feel bad, but hey, Im a selfish guy. I won 3 world series, that’s a bit more important than my son having an illness.
May 7th, 2009 at 9:45 pm
Why do you think my sock was red. After Manny injected himself, his peepee started hurting and you guys know how I like bloody showers.
May 7th, 2009 at 9:46 pm
By the way, I molested Brett Pedroia as a child, that’s why he grew up into the PEDOPHILE that he is.
Dustin Pedroia’s brother is a pedophile.
May 8th, 2009 at 2:26 am
THIS JUST IN: BRAD CHILDRESS SIGNED AS BRONCOS QUARTERBACK. BRETT FAVRE STILL JUST HAVING FUN OUT THERE.
/”Raiders Stadium at Fuck You Denver” remains the greatest six words on the internets
May 8th, 2009 at 7:09 am
Drew’s blogging like a kid out there
May 8th, 2009 at 8:41 am
+100 to Porky1.
As I started to hurl at Mike and Mike (drive by radio, my good station was on break), I shut off the radio. I could not handle the angst over Manny which would morph to Brett and Mike anytime anywhere. Poor ARoid, your story got bumped.
May 8th, 2009 at 8:58 am
I’m starting to think we might have to rethink our assumptions about Brad Childress.
May 8th, 2009 at 9:05 am
I wont believe it until the kick off of the Super Bowl
May 8th, 2009 at 10:06 am
Is it possible to get Curt Schilling banned?
Oh and +1 to you porky1. That was tremendous.
May 8th, 2009 at 10:21 am
@ Otto – I laughed, cried and wet my pants.