dogno“NYET!” So thundered the text message across the cosmos, one that at long last sealed the fate of a vast land-based fiefdom controlled by Baron Von Britfar. Its recipient: not longtime paramour and barnacle Peter King, but a journeyman quarterback turned broadcasting stooge. What textual riches had been vouchsafed to him! He could scarcely suss their import. His eyes alighted on the two-letter reply and his hands trembled until the cell phone fell from his grasp. He bounded into the newsroom, prepared to change the future irreparably.

UPDATE: That rock-solid Dilfer reportage didn’t take long to fall apart.