While it has been assumed that the Lions intend to draft Matthew Stafford with the number one pick in Saturday’s draft, a dark horse has emerged from the Far East. Manga running back Eyeshield 21 is rapidly moving up Detroit’s draft board. Here is completely authentic game footage showing the Tokyo speedster in action:
In addition to bringing a vaunted running game to Detroit, Lions Vice Chairman William Clay Ford, Jr. thinks Eyeshield 21 can boost home attendance. “It’s no secret that Detroit is an economically challenged city. We’ve been trying for years to get more working-class families and anthropomorphic pigs in the stands. We think Eyeshield 21 may be the person to do it.”
“Everyone shall see I am number one roo-key,” Eyeshield 21 remarked, “Mighty Japan football player superior to Korean Hines Ward. My stereotype broken English much better than his.”
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Eyeshield 21 is a great running back. He defines clutch. 11:10 PM April 22 from a Blackberry inside Boston’s only Starbucks
Third post in gives us our first LT joke. I was not at all disappointed.
I have no idea where you found that but well fucking done!
Weren’t the crowd chanting ‘I shit, I shit’?
Eyeshield 21′s running style is disrespectful to opposing defenses. He banishes wouldbe tackles to tthe land of wind and shadow.
I honestly don’t know how to feel about this. Surely there must be more? Please?
By the way, I don’t buy Eyeshield 21 locked in with Detroit. You’ll have to tell Jeff Fisher, who doesn’t believe that. 12:27 PM Apr 21st from my anus
The Lions couldn’t win with a black Barry Sanders, why would an Asian one be any different?
Considering it’s a loose adaptation of the Chargers in manga form, I’m shocked there’s no Merriman around for some post-game tentacle rape. Those female fans at 0:40 are just asking for ‘Lights Out,’ ifyaknowhatimsayin.
his name may be Eyeshield 21, but he wants to put ‘HYDUKEN!’ on the back of his jersey.
Billy Blanks from The Last Boyscout vs Androgynous Shotgun-Wielding Elf. Who ya got?
Pfft. Take away Slanty-Eye-Shield21′s blazing speed, shifty moves, able to hang onto the football, nose for the endzone and abilty to stay healthy and on the field and what would you have?
Oh, and not a whiney little bitch.
/LaToeInjury?
//Shaun Alexander??
///Larry Johnson???
////Tiki Barber????
First of all fuck all y’all for bringing up mouth eyes just stop it already.
Needs more bikebikebike.
/flubby gets the best acid.
The Super Fantasic Fun Happy-Times Football League
There’s your answer, fishbulb.
I think he was playing against the Chiefs in that clip. Hang on, let me check…
tank johnson didnt know that shotguns r now allowed on the field.
Christmas Ape vs. flubby in the battle of racist asian stereotypes! Who ya got?!
Shouldn’t it be roundeyeshield?
What, no moutheyes on Eyeshield 21?
Needs more Malmarald.
In a later episode, Eyeshield gets hurt and is replaced by midget-demon 43.
I didn’t see Eyeshield 21 anywhere near a bike. Not Guilty!
/bikebikebike
Flubby always finds the best youtube clips.
Ladies and Gentleman of the jury, I’m a simple caveman who was discovered, frozen in a glacier. I was then carefully thawed out and brought back to life by your scientists. Your television programs featuring Asian animation frighten me. Further, I believe that the Internet is the work of a vengeful god who is appeased only by furious masturbation to Asian tentacle porn–which I am also frightened of. But that’s not important to us today. Ladies and Gentlemen, I submit to you that Eyeshield 21 in no way infringes upon the identity of a Mr. LaToeInjury Tomlinson but is rather an exaggeration of a carefully assembled amalgam of National Football League players. Further, as shown in this terrifying and strangely erotic video, Eyeshield 21 is clearly seen breaking multiple tackles and running for more than 2 yards a carry. The defense rests, your honor.
Needs more tentacle porn, especially involving the cheer leaders.
I clackback youl eyeshierd, asswhore