Newly signed Jags receiver Torry Holt is entering the twilight of a successful career, but he hasn’t forgotten where he got his NFL start. No, Holt takes no bitterness with him to Jacksonville and to show it he dashed off a letter to the St. Louis Post-Dispatch thanking the ownership, as well as his coaches, teammates and the one Rams’ fan (Nelly?). Ever the considerate Midwesterners, the people of St. Louis aren’t ones to let a good deed go unrecognized, so they decided to respond in kind.
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Yeah, sadly that’s about it for St. Loo. East and north ghetto, west is utter douche. south isn’t bad and far east, other side of ghetto, isn’t bad. Hey, all bitching aside, Torry is a class act and the meth here in SoIll is top notch Saluki shit!
Fuck, what did we do to you guys? There’s plenty of places to get hammered in the St. Louis area, and isn’t that all that really matters?
I know I’ve said this recently, but I’ll repeat: as a former resident of the “greater New Orleans area,” I like St. Louis better.
St. Louis’ motto ought to be: we’re like New Orleans, only if it had its shit together.
It’s a schooner.
“St. Louis isn’t so bad if you know where to avoid. Go North or East and you hit ghetto, go west and you strike douchebag, go south and you run into nothing but methed up hicks. So basically, avoid everywhere that isn’t busch stadium.”
And this is your travel guide to St. Louis. Hope you enjoy your stay.
/from Jeff County (Meth country)
By the way I just used some Ted Drew’s on a retaining wall last weekend.
It was a NOFX referencing Douglas Adams reference.
St. Louis isn’t so bad if you know where to avoid. Go North or East and you hit ghetto, go west and you strike douchebag, go south and you run into nothing but methed up hicks. So basically, avoid everywhere that isn’t busch stadium.
and fuck the bosnians in south city who can’t keep their yard fowl in its cages.
/still rather be here than Detroit, Baltimore, or Oakland.
You’re only half-right.
The grease blot is actually a penguin making out with a stegosaurus.
It’s sad because it’s true.
/goes to Cards blog.
//Honk if you’re horny
@ F.M.R.A.
“Who wants a mustache ride?”
And Ted Drewe’s is the great double-sided sword of St. Louis. Technically, taking a girl there is the first stage of coitus for any native louser, but the invariable end result of both is a significant widening of the midsection sooner or later.
…the Royals? Why would St. Louisians give a crap about an AL team? I’m not sure they’re even aware they exist.
Anyway, a true St. Louisian would recognize that the above stain is not grease, but is actually the drippings from a cup of Ted Drewes.
Andele andele mami E.I. E.I. Uh-oh!
And Leitch is from the used condom shape that is southern Illinois, which means his inferiority complex has made him into the ironic Buzzsaw fan rather than accept the Rams in his one true hick-done-moved-to-the-big-city-and-bought-a-poorly-fitting-leather-jacket-heart.
Things a true St. Lousian (douchebag) would have included: something about the Arch being the largest “freestanding” arch (cause otherwise its just a support beam in the fucking astrodome), at least one reference to their civic pride over toasted raviolis, a reference to how “above” they are concern for the Royals recent success, something about “Dick” Ankiel’s mustache, and a completely hockey-ignorant statement of support for the Blues (“they just out powerplanted is in the fourth inning, better luck next season to Brett Hull and the boys!”).
St Louis is an underrated hell-hole, in that no one quite realizes quite how much of a hellhole it is. People think, medium sized city, in the Midwest, it must be nice. But it’s not.
Hahaha fuck the Cardinals in will leitch’s pussy.
Stay classy STL.
Good luck with Silky.
St. Louis’ jobs are in Belgium now? That sucks.
@BK – I concur, penguin it is.
“Big Game” would actually be a more clever nickname if his last name was Hunter
Is the blot supposed to be Albert Pujols’ syringe?
Hooray! I can’t wait to move to my awesome new city!
That’s not grease, it’s a cum stain.
The grease stain is a picture of someone committing suicide from living in St. Louis.
the grease stain is actually a bloody booger
That grease stain is St. L’s share of the stimulus package.
/applauds…….half-heartedly
If you look at it one way it’s an elderly woman, and another way it’s a young girl.
Since it is the midwest, the grease stain is clearly Jesus
It’s Kurt Warner praying, or sucking his wife’s dick.
It appears to be a woman from a woman’s bathroom sign giving birth.
That’s clearly a couple of pandas.
/might be reading WL too much
Nice Douglas Adams reference, if that’s what you were doing there
It looks like my dear naked mother to me
ksk inkblot test: the grease stain looks like a penguin to me.
The Cards AAA affiliate is the Memphis Redbirds, and everybody in STL knows this.
The Rams’ one fan is commenter Alvin Mack.
Roy Green got the same treatment, years ago.
I thought 4/20 was last Monday?