Peter King Has A Lower Carbon Assprint Than You
When we last left java-engulfing oceanic garbage patch Peter King, he used his considerable weight to try and bully restaurant Sibling Rivalry into serving him a more substantive $25 cod dish, and to de-bitter their espresso (We can only hope the coffee was bitter because someone poured Roundup into it). More importantly, King declared that he was “dying to tweet,” and soon made good on his horrible, horrible threat. ‘Tis the Seventh Sign, people. Demi Moore must offer to sacrifice her baby to Jurgen Prochnow, or the clouds will turn to ash and we all shall perish in a giant lava tsunami.
King thanked two people for helping break down all the Byzantine intricacies of setting up a Twitter account. But Jon Pyle over at Pyle of List tells us that even two people weren’t enough.
Drew,
It actually took more than two people to get him tweeting. A friend of mine works for SI and as a youthful person actually taught him how/what to write. She didn’t get thanked though, so perhaps she’s a ghost writer.
I think the reason she didn’t get thanked is because she didn’t offer Peter the kind of brunch spread that Pam Whiteley does. You have to go the extra mile to make MMQB, my dear. I like the idea of a ghost-written Twitter. “God, I’d like to be retarded right now, but I simply don’t have the time.” Let’s check out some of the early King tweets.
God. Who put that picture next to my Tweet? 8:30 AM Apr 18th from web
I dunno, Pete. But I do know that changing it is a monumental task on par with the rebuilding of Ground Zero (http://twitter.com/account/picture).
Just finished one of the daunting tasks in my SI history–pinch-hitting for Dr. Z on the mock draft. It’ll be in the mag next week. 8:31 AM Apr 18th from web
Indeed. Very daunting. Almost as hard as changing a Twitter photo. After all, everyone expects a mock draft to be 100% accurate.
Just talked with Mark Sanchez. Dedicated lad. Worked out at his old high school tonight. Will go to class all week at USC. More in MMQB. about 11 hours ago from web
Works out AND goes to class? Whoa, whoa, whoa, slow down there, Johnny Damon! Even the Army isn’t that productive.
So yeah, quite the promising start for King’s KitterKat feed. Now let’s go to today’s column.
“I like the angle,” former USC quarterback Mark Sanchez said to me a little after 11 Eastern Sunday night. “I hope it still looks good Saturday. I hope it doesn’t blow up on you.”
“But enough about you, Johnny. What do you think of my story angle?”
In the last 10 days, I’ve spent hours (only my cell phone company knows how many for sure) foraging for crumbs for my Sports Illustrated mock
Actually, your cell phone company will send you a detailed log of every call you’ve made, and will tally your minutes into a cumulative total for you. Peter, I suggest you look up the number of minutes of your longest call to Brett Favre, and then try and break that record.
Last Friday, the last night teams could host, wine and dine players from out of town in their home market, (Dan) Snyder and vice president Vinny Cerrato took Sanchez out to dinner at an Italian place in downtown D.C. after Sanchez had spent the day with Washington coaches and personnel people. Big deal? Maybe. Maybe not.
It’s only a big deal if their lasagna had nutmeg in it. If Jay Glazer had reported this item, he would have provided a full transcript of the evening’s conversation AND caught Cerrato heading to the shitter to order a Polish she-lizard escort on Snyder’s tab.
Good quarterbacks get the blood boiling in coaches and GMs, and in this case, owners.
And there’s your broken metaphor of the week. A speed pass rusher who can also defend the run gets plenty of hides chapping in front offices across the league!
What I want to do now is try to tell you a few things I’ve learned on the phone and via text messages in the last week or so, in no particular order:
Okay. I’m ready. TIME FOR SOME REAL FUCKING REPORTING. What did you learn, you quasi-famous man, you?
Detroit, as of midnight Sunday, wasn’t tipping its hand or negotiating with anyone for the first pick. Tom Condon, the agent for both Stafford and Jason Smith, was in Detroit Thursday, and the agents for Aaron Curry were at the Lions on Saturday. No significance to either visit because the Lions didn’t tell either side who they were picking.
So you learned nothing.
New England loves UConn cornerback Darius Butler. New England is smoke-screening by letting on that it loves UConn cornerback Darius Butler.
So you learned nothing again. Hang on a second, Pete. I gotta clear out space in my brain for all this knowledge you be dropping! “Dropping knowledge” is a phrase people use in Tweetland. It really gets their blood boiling!
San Francisco won’t pick Josh Freeman.
Or they will!
Denver won’t pick Josh Freeman.
Unless they do!
“John Madden is the best sports broadcaster — not just the best football broadcaster — of all time.”
-NBC Sports chairman Dick Ebersol, after Madden retired last week.
Really, Dick? The guy who hands out turkey legs every year is clearly better than Jim McKay, Bob Ley, Chris Fowler, Vin Scully, Harry Kalas, Howard Cosell, Keith Jackson, Marv Albert, Pat Summerall, Verne Lundquist, Harry Caray, and roughly 708 other people I forgot? Ooh, wait! His name was on a video game! Never mind. THAT SEALS IT!
“Chad Johnson called me today. Crying. He wonders why everyone can get traded but him.”
-Former Johnson teammate T.J. Houshmandzadeh, now with Seattle, on NFL Network Friday night.
He was also upset that no one out there is willing to make pants for his arms.
Enjoyable/Aggravating Travel Note of the Week
Someone made merriment in the Acela quiet car!
It’s the new green me.
Green King? Run, restaurateurs of the world! THIS ESPRESSO IS BITTER! GREEN KING SMASH!
It’s not like I’m going to be surrendering my car now than I’m a city guy,
Oh, so you’re cityfolk now, are you? Well la di da, Mr. Urban Elitist! Lemme get Tom Wolfe to help you shop for your new wardrobe.
…but being without it is increasingly enjoyable. Check out this 28-hour experience that began Thursday morning:
Oooh, an itinerary!
Walk 10 minutes to the Back Bay train station to catch a train to New York.
And includes stopping at four different dog bakeries.
Take the train to New York.
Where someone next to me farted!
Take a cab to visit buddy Jack Bowers in the hospital after surgery.
Get well, Jack. Everyone would be pulling for you if they knew who the fuck you were.
Take a cab to SI in midtown Manhattan for an afternoon of meetings.
“Only we didn’t have a meeting. We went to the new Yankee Stadium in a Corvette limo instead! Isn’t that grand?”
Take the subway to Queens for Mets-Padres.
“And my Bluetooth never went out!”
Take the subway to Manhattan after the game.
Walk to Penn Station.
But how long was the walk? I must know for my spreadsheet.
Take the train back to Boston.
Walk the 10 minutes home.
Notice this trip was SO FUCKING EPIC that each leg of it merited its own paragraph. It’s as if I’m reliving the day of Leopold Bloom, and the enormity of human existence can be found in our most mundane activities. This was more than a simple walk to Penn Station for Peter. This was an AWAKENING. This trip is nothing short of a found poem, a tale that should be passed from one generation to the next via oral traditions. I shall now write my own:
Drove 25 minutes to work.
Parked car.
Entered work.
Worked.
May or may not have masturbated. Twice.
Left work.
Drove 40 minutes back home.
Fin.
Not an unpleasant trip on any of the legs. You people in cities have been hiding how great it is to get along without a car.
That second sentence killed me. “Huddle up, fellow city dwellers. Let’s agree right now to conspire and prevent people outside our city limits from realizing that our public transit infrastructure and population density allow for us to minimize our use of motorized transport when compared to people in the suburbs. MOST OF ALL, DON’T TELL KING. HE’LL RUIN THE WHOLE FUCKING THING FOR ALL OF US.”
This travel note has all the hallmarks of classic King libtardery. Observe the process of thought required to write something so clearly inane and pointless.
1. Ooh, I just did something good for the environment! Let me tell people how awesome I am for not using a car!
2. I just found out something everyone else knew about living in cities! Let me write about it as if no one had any clue of the phenomenon!
3. Let me use my example to imply that you should change your life in a similar fashion to keep up with my good-doing! I bet you people still use cars! YOU MAKE ME RETCH.
I’d say King belongs on the op-ed staff at the New York Times, if the New York Times hadn’t been so heartless as to threaten to shutter the Boston Globe so that they can remain solvent! NEW YORK TIMES, YOU GET MY BLOOD DEBOILING.
I think if I were Buffalo GM Russ Brandon, I wouldn’t be thinking, “Eleven’s too high to take Brandon Pettigrew.” If I couldn’t trade down four of five slots (and, as you can see by history above, the Bills don’t trade much on draft day), I’d take the best all-around tight end to come out since — well, since maybe Jeremy Shockey — right there at number 11.
If someone as potentially awful as Jeremy Shockey is there at 11, you gotta take him!
I think you made your bed, Chad Johnson. Now you’ve got to lay in it.
Better not be a twin bed.
I think I’d like to apologize to you, Everette Brown. I don’t have you in my mock draft for SI this week, and I fully expect you to be picked … somewhere.
Peter called 56 different GM’s to get you that crucial piece of information.
I can’t figure out where, and too many people in the bottom 20 of the round found too many holes in Brown.
Shouldn’t it be “too many holes in you?” if this is a direct apology? Perhaps this should have been tweeted.
I miss the Star-Ledger. Good, important newspaper.
Lofty newspaper.
So here’s my quickie review of Citi Field
WHY CAN’T I GET FREE COFFEE THERE BEFORE 4:15AM?!
I did note that, from my seat down the left-field line in the lower bowl, that I could see 79 ads around the stadium.
Outdoor advertising? In a stadium?
These are the good ol’ days for “The Office.”
Indeed. Strained plots and forced hijinks? This show has hit its stride.
Good luck, Cris Collinsworth. You won’t need luck, though. Prepared, talented guys don’t ever need luck.
Then you must have needed a goddamn barrel full of it.
How cool it was this morning dropping my brother-in-law, Bob Whiteley, at the Boston Common at 6:45 so he could board one of the hundreds of yellow school buses for the 45-minute ride to Hopkinton and the start of the Boston marathon. Good luck, Bob. What a great scene.
You drove him there in your car?
So much for the green you, you fat bastard. Now I’m not gonna give you this Kit Kat with Jesus’ face in it.
Tags: Big Daddy Drew, FJM style, fun with peter king, lattehuggers
April 20th, 2009 at 12:29 pm
Haven’t read the whole thing yet, but ” java-engulfing oceanic garbage patch ” is almost certainly the best thing I’ve ever read.
April 20th, 2009 at 12:37 pm
thank God PK is not GM of the Bills, let the Jets take a TE in the first round they have a history of doing that.
April 20th, 2009 at 12:40 pm
I read “good, important newspaper’ and I had to laugh, I was fully expecting “lofty newspaper” as the next line.
April 20th, 2009 at 12:42 pm
Peter King is the fail whale.
April 20th, 2009 at 12:42 pm
Why oh why can I not get paid to write what everyone else knows? He spent his time “looking into” items and came back with…nothing. He knows what we know. Yet, he commands a high salary..and GOOD GOODAMN COFFEE YOU PEASANTS!!
April 20th, 2009 at 12:44 pm
I think I’d like to apologize to you, Everette Brown. I don’t have you in my mock draft for SI this week, and I fully expect you to be picked … somewhere.
Man, I thought I was lazy.
April 20th, 2009 at 12:44 pm
I love how King felt the need to specify that his seats at the new Shea were lower-bowl along the basepaths. As if that fat fuck would bother to attend an event where his comped tickets have a face value of under three figures.
April 20th, 2009 at 12:46 pm
You’re doing God’s work Drew.
April 20th, 2009 at 12:47 pm
So, Peter takes two cabs (which I believe are still considered cars) and he’s green because he didn’t use his personal car? Just checking.
/Jürgen has an umlaut
April 20th, 2009 at 12:48 pm
Amazing that he can put together a step-by-step guide to donate to the Z charity, but can’t figure out how to sign up for Twitter. Douchetard.
April 20th, 2009 at 12:49 pm
peter king’s methane emissions are ripping a hole in the ozone layer
April 20th, 2009 at 12:49 pm
King’s Jeremy Shockey comment was mind-boggling. He later added “And if a wide receiver as good as Mike Williams is available at #10, you gotta take him.”
April 20th, 2009 at 12:51 pm
With King’s incessant need to over share even the most mundane, ridiculous portions of his life, this fat asshole was fucking born to be on Twitter.
April 20th, 2009 at 12:56 pm
“What I want to do now is try to tell you a few things I’ve learned on the phone and via text messages in the last week or so, in no particular order:”
Is t really necessary to announce that you’re going to write something before you actually write it? Pete, you’re a fucking writer. Just write what you want to write without first telling me that you going to try to do it.
“What I’d like to do know is try to report some information to you that I’ve learned during my overall process of gathering information. Okay ready? Here goes. (deep breath). Coffee tastes good. Phew. There, I said it, and I don’t regret it for a second.
April 20th, 2009 at 12:56 pm
I can’t wait to buy my copy of Glickman 2010 for XBox 360 next year.
April 20th, 2009 at 12:56 pm
Now I’m not gonna give you this Kit Kat with Jesus’ face in it.
Mmmmm. Sacricilious.
April 20th, 2009 at 12:57 pm
I wish we could all pool $50 to win the Patriots/Peter king lunch and send BDD to represent.
April 20th, 2009 at 12:58 pm
Yes! His column this week made my Sanchez gay-crush tweet come true!
“I hope it doesn’t blow up in my face” might be the best PK line ever
April 20th, 2009 at 12:59 pm
i believe that is a Big Kat with the J-Man’s face on it, not a traditional Kit-Kat.
peter king would never eat a Big Kat, as they are not offered for free on airline flights.
April 20th, 2009 at 1:01 pm
I actually just read Drew’s answers. I can’t start off my mornings with someone as fucking retarded as PK.
April 20th, 2009 at 1:02 pm
PK’s time management in a nutshell: time spent counting ads in an MLB ballpark > time spent doing actual fucking research for the entire article
April 20th, 2009 at 1:04 pm
Bullshit! No way Peter King gets off the 7 at Times Square and walks to Penn Station. That’s like 9 blocks. And there’s a fucking subway line which connects the two. Unless he was trying to get his yearly bout of exercise.
April 20th, 2009 at 1:04 pm
“… if I may make a recommendation, the sights and sounds of an NFL camp in the midst of such splendor as the Napa Valley is not to be missed; you Raider fans out there know what I’m talking about.”
WTF do Raiders fans know about Napa Valley other than it has lots of nice houses to burgle?
April 20th, 2009 at 1:05 pm
Other things Peter King does now that he’s “green”:
–Recycles his Starbucks stir sticks by building his wife a strap-on out of them.
–Installing a methane sequestration machine in his bathroom.
–Helping along the slow circulation decline of a magazine so fewer print copies are bought.
–Only taking cab rides when there are four or fewer modes of mass transit around.
–Not washing his socks after he’s masturbated into them.
April 20th, 2009 at 1:06 pm
i’m pretty sure PK’s 28 hour public transportation adventure took significantly less than 28 hours. he says it started thursday morning, so 28 hours from them would put him back in boston at like noon friday, but he has himself boarding the train back to boston after the mets game thursday night.
i just spent way too much time thinking about that.
April 20th, 2009 at 1:08 pm
Why don’t the citizens of Boston tar and feather this inane fuck?
April 20th, 2009 at 1:09 pm
I’m impressed that King’s Day of No Cars only included two rides in cars. How green of him.
April 20th, 2009 at 1:11 pm
checking to see how far those cab rides were…….
April 20th, 2009 at 1:12 pm
Ahhhhhhh – the weekly Douche King bashing! Drew, you make me look forward to Mondays. I love you, man!
April 20th, 2009 at 1:16 pm
Yes, we could save the earth if only we all just moved into luxury condominiums with no children and held high-salaried jobs that have open-ended hours and required us to produce nothing other than our half-formed musings at irregular intervals.
For shame, people. Now if you’ll excuse me I’m off on a flight to Kansas City where I will spend the week consuming vast amounts of barbeque financed by my bottomless expense account provided by my cash-strapped employer who’s just laid off hundreds of support staffers as I pursue a number of draft-related non-stories that will be irrelevant in exactly one week’s time.
Thank you for your continued support of my pointless existence,
Peter King
Urban Dandy
April 20th, 2009 at 1:16 pm
Dr. Z suffered three strokes last November, leaving him unable to read, speak or write, and we’re raising money for him to undergo some aggressive treatment so he can resume the life of writing — we hope — that he longs for.
Pete’s goal in helping Zimmerman is for the guy can get back to work? Fuck you Peter King. I’m guessing the guy longs to go home, be with his family, and tell you to “Fuck off” when you ask him when he’s going to back to work.
April 20th, 2009 at 1:18 pm
PK likes the smell of his own farts.
April 20th, 2009 at 1:23 pm
“Peter, I suggest you look up the number of minutes of your longest call to Brett Favre, and then try and break that record.”
We all know King and Favre never actually spoke over the phone. When you are that much in love with someone, only telepathy and love notes scribbled in the foggy shower mirror will do.
April 20th, 2009 at 1:26 pm
“New York Penn Station to Sports Illustrated (1271 Ave of the Americas, NY, NY 10020)”
Walk 1.1 miles…about 22 minutes walking.
“Sports Illustrated to Citi Field”
Walk to 7th Ave Station (0.3 miles & ~6min)
Take Subway to Citi Field (~24 min including transfer)
April 20th, 2009 at 1:26 pm
Drew, you missed an interesting piece of MMQB: The Dr. Z benefit has an open bar. For $250. I think we have ourselves an interesting challenge: collect $250 from our humble group and send someone to the benefit with one mission: consume $250 worth of alcohol at the open and then see what kind of hi-jinks ensue. And Twitter it of course.
April 20th, 2009 at 1:38 pm
I need some premium coffee and nutmegged lasagna. Manly sized portions, please.
April 20th, 2009 at 1:42 pm
I guess now instead of updates on road conditions and traffic congestion, we’ll get updates on the weather as he walks to and fro. Can’t wait for his report after the first really hot, humid day. Maybe we’ll get a mention of ball sweat. Gosh, I sure hope so.
April 20th, 2009 at 1:45 pm
I seriously shudder in fear at the prospect of this d-bags columns come footballs season, now that he lives in Boston. I predict every MMQB will be a veritable ball licking extravaganza of his “home team.”
April 20th, 2009 at 1:55 pm
Thanks, Drew. It’s nice to know I’m not the only one masturbating at the office.
/That’s right, boss. You’re paying me for… this!
April 20th, 2009 at 1:57 pm
I wonder if Bob Whitely is still running his Cultural Immersion Camp for adopted Indians.
http://www.truveo.com/Trail-Of-Tears/id/2635472161
April 20th, 2009 at 2:08 pm
Notice he takes a cab unless he’s going to/from citifield. Peter King does not ride the subway with minorities!
April 20th, 2009 at 2:14 pm
the only thing that I don’t hate about peter king is that he’s not foisted on the unsuspecting sports fan. I can actually watch sports and even read about sports without having to hear from this fat fucking nimrod. the only time I read SI is if I’m taking a particularly heinous dump in somebody else’s house, in which case I wouldn’t bother with his or Reilly’s drivel anyhow.
but the likes of Joe Buck, McCarver, Collinsworth, Vitale, and Madden are (or were, fuck madden) an assault on the senses of even the most casual sports fan who just wants to watch a fucking game.
at the moment I’m just wondering what sports journalism would be like if somebody like BDD had access. you know, it would have to somehow be irrevocable because I don’t think Travis Henry is trying to give us his cell number. but damn, the Gay Mafia could call MNF and I might be tempted to turn off the radio and unmute the TV.
whatever
I also am a Marxist so I know I’ll die frustrated
April 20th, 2009 at 2:20 pm
Notice he takes a cab unless he’s going to/from citifield. Peter King does not ride the subway with minorities!
John Rocker would point out the holes in that logic.
April 20th, 2009 at 2:31 pm
If the Redskins love Sanchez, then he must really suck ass at QB. Just ask Heath Shuler.
“May or may not have masturbated. Twice.”
What’s the rule? Take the number they claim and multiply it by 3? When do you actually get work done when you’re not pumpin your meat to the receptionist who you fantasize walks in like Phoebe Cates in Fast Times.
/Phoebe Cates is still hot as hell
April 20th, 2009 at 2:34 pm
@LLUA: Of course Peter’s goal is to get Dr. Z writing again, he’d have a nervous breakdown at the prospect of having to do a fucking mock draft each year. I mean, can you imagine how daunting that would be?
April 20th, 2009 at 2:39 pm
Graddy,
I’d rather read Z’s “In the first round, the Saints should take ffgggrrzzzt uuiotttq” than any mock draft PK craps out between Leona Helmsley-like complaints.
April 20th, 2009 at 2:51 pm
For the “of local interest” (no interest) AM radio version of MMQB, check out the Joe B and Denny Show, featuring former Kentucky coach Joe B. Hall and former Louisville coach Denny Crumb. Personal stories of interest to only two members of society? Check. “Insights” that the rest of us already knew because we are in fact sentient beings capable of forming rational thought? Got that too. Personal biases and homerism? Aplenty.
/this post not Kige Ramsey approved.
April 20th, 2009 at 2:51 pm
[I][B]These are the good ol’ days for “The Office.”[/B]
Indeed. Strained plots and forced hijinks? This show has hit its stride.[/I]
gaaaaaah it’s so true and it really blows. PK would like the 5th season. Fucking idiot.
April 20th, 2009 at 2:52 pm
…Wow fuck me I’m an idiot too. SI HERE I COME
April 20th, 2009 at 2:59 pm
@LLUA You really fucked up the distance thing in the earlier comment.
LLUA: Yeah I know. Can we agree the fucktard only walks when he can’t expense a cab or subway fare?
April 20th, 2009 at 3:20 pm
Demi Moore should sacrifice Ashton Kutcher to Jürgen Prochnow. It won’t be enough to hold back the Apocalypse, but seeing Kutcher getting ritually disemboweled would aid humanity.
April 20th, 2009 at 3:23 pm
I’m going to be honest, I was expecting a lot more sucktitude from his Twitter feed. Where’s the inane comments? … Oh wait, here they come in:
Late night MMQBing. Loved this line from Mark Sanchez last night re where he’s going in the draft: “The picture is really as clear as mud.”
It’s like Sanchez stole it right from PKs mouth!
April 20th, 2009 at 3:41 pm
I can see the Masterpiece Theatre presentation of Ulysses now: Peter King as Leopold Bloom and Blazes Boylan (he is diverse enough to play both roles simultaneously). Brett Favre (in drag) as Molly Bloom. Mark Sanchez as Stephen Dedalus. It will be epic. I am looking forward to you writing this adaptation.
April 20th, 2009 at 4:45 pm
@ Slothrop:
Even better, let’s all chip and and send Drew to that thing. Good god damn, if there was a way he could have a constant webcast stream of that, I’d pay for the thing myself!
/not actually paying for shit
//true idea, lofty idea you have to admit though
April 20th, 2009 at 6:15 pm
I’m just glad he doesn’t have a radio show. The amount of hot air Peter King would emit over the airwaves would turn the Earth into Dante’s own flaming inferno.
April 20th, 2009 at 6:24 pm
His 60-second blurbs on Sunday nights are plenty. PLENTY.
April 20th, 2009 at 6:59 pm
@ Woone P. Tiggins
Spoken like someone who doesn’t have satellite radio.
Sirius NFL Radio is a pretty good channel, but you haven’t been aurally raped until you’ve had PK singing along with 60’s do-wop after the commercial break before noon.
April 20th, 2009 at 7:43 pm
http://www.twitter.com/Peter_KingCNNSI
Enjoy.
April 20th, 2009 at 7:47 pm
How far is a 10 minute walk for Tons of Fun? 100 yards? Buffet to buffet?
It was great to live in the city until you showed up.
April 20th, 2009 at 8:25 pm
i work in boston’s south end. its filled with douchebags. finally they have found their king…. er, leader. god help him the day i ever see that fat asshole walking down the street.
April 20th, 2009 at 9:15 pm
God damnit…every week I think that I can’t hate Peter King any more, and every week he just makes me fucking angrier that he’s employed.
April 20th, 2009 at 9:23 pm
Wow, a guy who lives in north jersey and works in nyc for 20 years doesn’t realize that most people who live/work in big cities use public transportation and walk until he moves to boston. I guess it must be hard to pay attention to your surroundings when you’re jacking it to brett favre text messages from two years ago, but still, wow.
April 20th, 2009 at 10:45 pm
I haven’t laughed this hard in months. thanks!!!
April 21st, 2009 at 1:22 am
PK’s latest Tweet:
“By the way, I don’t buy Torry Holt locked in with Jacksonville. You’ll have to tell Jeff Fisher, who doesn’t believe that.”
Holt to the Jaguars, 3 years, $20 million. Good reporting. Lofty reporting.
April 21st, 2009 at 1:45 am
Did no one else notice that it took PK only one minute to perform his most daunting task in all of SI history:
8:30 AM Apr 18th: God. Who put that picture next to my Tweet?
8:31 AM Apr 18th: Just finished one of the daunting tasks in my SI history–pinch-hitting for Dr. Z on the mock draft. It’ll be in the mag next week.
This twitter thing is going to be great, we can actually see how much research he puts into things before “banging out MMQB.”
April 21st, 2009 at 8:50 am
Still wondering who’s taking Josh Freeman.
April 21st, 2009 at 10:45 am
The Nothing is Inevitable Foundation:
Where I will auction off lunches with myself and other lofty men to save the Boston Globe and stop Global Warming.
April 21st, 2009 at 11:14 am
/Crosses his fingers for Peter King making a guest appearance on “Mike and Mike in the Morning”, thus ripping a whole in the time space continuum and thus unleashing the 4 Horsemen of the Inanity Apocalypse, that will lead to the destruction of the world as we know it; replacing it with a pitted, volcanic excuse for a rock, full of of mindless zombies that drink coffee flavored water while complaining over the most basic tasks, and filling out mock drafts.
//dick joke
April 21st, 2009 at 12:02 pm
I hope PK is gang raped on the subway platform in the near future. I’d be curious to learn whether that would be an aggravating or enjoyable travel note.
April 21st, 2009 at 5:58 pm
I read the entire MMQB and can 1005 say that I did not learn one single GD thing that I didn’t know before.
Here are 3 Things I Think I Think:
1. King is an idiot who all players, coaches and GMs hate to talk to.
2. He’s getting WORSE
3. Peter King gave Dr. Z a heart attack by serving him – *GASP – decaffinated coffee a day old.
April 21st, 2009 at 10:12 pm
We have a similar douchebag like King on the radio in Houston on the Texans’ flagship station by the name of Rich Lord, another self-important, know-it-all liberal who swears he’s not political, but he didn’t much care for “that Bush guy.” To put Lord in perspective, he has a man crush on Springstein like King does on Farve. He’s a 50-year old man who follows Bruce city-by-city when he’s in Texas. Thank god some former hosts started their own station at the other end of the dial!
April 21st, 2009 at 11:11 pm
Cabs? He includes cabs as “green”? ‘Instead of driving my own car, I will pay a minority to drive me in a yellow car. How green of me!’
April 22nd, 2009 at 3:59 pm
@CorsicanaKid – “but he didn’t much care for ‘that Bush guy.’”
Rich Lord has a lot of friggin’ company, judging by the last 4 years of approval ratings for “that Bush guy”