Bob Jr.: Another year of the Heels cutting down the nets. Without a doubt, ain’t nothin’ finer than bein’ a Caroliner. Kings of the only sport that matters. Psycho T showed everybody that with grit, determination and fawning media coverage, you too can achieve greatness through Ty Lawson.
Eustice:Couldn’t’ve been said better.
Bob Jr.: Still, I got the irk from way Panther Pride got snuffed by them ‘Zona boys. An irk just won’t subside. I figured another Heels title would do it. But, no. The irk is acting up.
Eustice: I know what you mean. Cajin boy screwed us but good.
Bob Jr.: We was just on the verge of developing some real Panther Pride around these parts. I don’t have to tell you it’s not always so strong as it should be.
Eustice: I’s afraid to admit it to myself.
Bob Jr.: I think I got me a solution though. All’s Panther Pride needs is a gimmick. Y’know how Packers fans got cheeseheads and Steelers fans got towels and Titans fans got meth? We tried to Growl Towels, but they was gay. I think I gots an idea for something we can attach ourselves to.
Bob Jr.: A battle flag for Panther Pride.
Eustice: PAIN-THER PRIDE!
[Bob Jr. unfurls flag]
Eustice: Oh, that is mighty decent. Mighty. Decent.
Bob Jr.: This here flag, it gonna gin us up some Painther Pride.
Eustice: Yes indeed.
Bob Jr.: For the time being, though, we best keep it a secret. I think it’d be most effective if’n we dropped it on people real sudden-like.
Eustice: Well then we gots us a problem.
Bob Jr.: What kind of problem?
Eustice: A I-told-Annabelle problem.
Bob Jr.: Y’did what?!
Eustice: I tole Annabelle.
Bob Jr.: But how’d you know about it?
Eustice: Snuck a peek.
Bob Jr.: Now, dang it, you know she gonna flap her gums ’bout this.
Eustice: Oh, I know it.
Bob Jr.: Won’t stop flapping them gums ’til everybody under the sun knows.
Eustice: Maybe she’ll keep quiet.
Bob Jr.: We had an omerta!
Eustice: What’s omerta?
Bob Jr.: Idjit! Omerta is Italian for “ain’t supposeda say shit.”
Eustice: Aw dag! Can we reomerta?
Bob Jr.: No! Omerta is one-time thing!
Eustice: Well, I’s sorry.
Bob Jr.: Ya best be!
Eustice: Can we still use the flag?
Bob Jr.: YA DANGED RIGHT WE’S USING THE FLAG. WHAT WITH ALL THE FABRIC I BOUGHT FROM MICHAEL’S!
Eustice: Can I write the Pledge to Painther Pride?
Bob Jr.: I’m sorry. You got a tin ear. Won’t come out right.
Eustice: All right… [sighs] Painther Pride.
Bob Jr.: PANTHER PRIDE!
I want more like this!
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