NFR Have New Numbell One Smaltest Safety!
Hines Ward: Yes. Have smirre extend flom one cheek to two cheek. Supel smirre, I am do. Am velee preased to have contlact extension in prace foll make celtain am with Steerel untir come of retlement time. Now can concentlate furry on continue winning Supel Bowr.
Happy to finish caleel as numbell one smaltest leceivel, numbell one leason NFR change lures to make reague pussy reague and, rast but no reast, numbell one Asian prayer arr-time, no question, peliod point because no can name bettel Asian prayer. No even tly.
[Draft podium flies open]
Press horde: Oh hey, look at this guy! Mixed, half Asian defensive back. Dad left China on a boat!
Hines Ward: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Me no cale if he a defensive boat. His dad go wlong countly! He tly go Amelica, get sterrpid dilection from Japanese asswhore and end up in Santonio vacation spot! WHO AM CALING ABOUT THIS!? NO PELSON IS CALING!
Press horde: Chinese AND Jamaican! Two vaguely disparate foreign ethnicities. Born outside the country! Playing in Boston, no less. It’s intriguing for a multitude of reasons. We can really play this up!
Hines Ward: HERRO! Me was boln in Seour. CAPITAL OF KOLEA! That rike fifteen Kingston, prus dericious kimchi. And if he flom Jamaica, he is obviousree razy. Smoke helb arr day. If not foll me, Santonio be the same. Need smalt leceivel to guide him. This guy have razy leceivel rike Landy Moss. HE GET MOLE RAZY!
Now risten. Rook light hele – this guy is lookie. TOTEREE UNPLOVEN! He could be bigg-ah bust! You is onree explroit laciar anger. THAT AZNPROITATION! LACIST!
Press horde: And you know if Belichick was looking at him, he must be quality the rest of the league was foolish to let slip. He could be the next Tebucky Jones! Another Patriots draft day gem!
Hines Ward: Algh. No smirre. I find a-this velee agglvating to me. Daichi, I need distlaction to give time dear with this uh plobrem. Give them the beatbox, supell fantaic good.
Tags: hines wald is stirr me favolite steerel, rittle bit lacist, xmas ape
April 27th, 2009 at 11:57 am
Am I the only one curious as to how a racial cocktail such as Patrick Chung plays out in terms of, uh, endowment?
April 27th, 2009 at 12:02 pm
@ FMRA
Probably.
He’ll be in your neighborhood, so if you’re really curious you should go check it out.
April 27th, 2009 at 12:03 pm
@fmra: I’m not wondering that, per se, but if his dad’s the Chinese one and his mom is black…I dunno, something there doesn’t quite work out when I do the sexual math.
April 27th, 2009 at 12:11 pm
Bra-fucking-vo.
April 27th, 2009 at 12:42 pm
Can’t wait to hear from Patrick once training camp opens. Shourd be velly, velly lacist…
April 27th, 2009 at 12:52 pm
I bet Chung loves him some Senismirra
April 27th, 2009 at 12:55 pm
Coach Berrichick bling in Patlick to countelact Hines Wald blirriance, mon.
April 27th, 2009 at 1:34 pm
If Chung lights up Ward, or vice versa, it would make for one vicious tackre.
April 27th, 2009 at 2:52 pm
Sounds like somebody wants to Wang Chung tonight? Or is Chung Wang?
April 27th, 2009 at 3:29 pm
The Patriots drafted Tebucky Jones in 1998. Belichick’s first draft was 2000. Not really relevant to the discussion about “Patriots draft day gems,” at least for this regime.
April 27th, 2009 at 3:43 pm
Thanks for the lesson, Jimbo. I think Brandon Meriweather is about as underwhelming, so that will have to do.
April 27th, 2009 at 3:49 pm
it’s the press “horde” that reports on how belichick “hoards” draft picks. or leroy.
April 27th, 2009 at 3:53 pm
Thank you, Grammar Police. I’ll never shoot up the station again.
April 27th, 2009 at 4:43 pm
He tly go Amelica, get sterrpid dilection from Japanese asswhore and end up in Santonio vacation spot!
Win.
April 27th, 2009 at 6:57 pm
How the fuck does that Daichi beatbox kid DO that shit?
April 28th, 2009 at 12:10 am
I think I just set a personal best for time spent reading 4 paragraphs
April 29th, 2009 at 1:57 pm
FMRA: according to my absurdly endowed half-cuban friend and his seven half-brothers from both sides of his family, endowment is, paradoxically, from the mother’s side of the tree. So it might work out for the lad.