NECKBRONCO
04.02.09
The Bears acquired quarterback Jay Cutler today for No. 1 draft picks in 2009 and 2010, a No. 3 pick this year and Kyle Orton, the Sun-Times has learned.
The Bears receive the Broncos’ fifth-round draft pick this year.
Cutler, 25, is coming off a Pro Bowl season with the Broncos, but he became disgruntled and wanted a trade after learning Denver was considering a deal for quarterback Matt Cassel.
That sound you heard was Brandon Marshall putting his hand through another TV.
Disgruntled Bronco fan? Vent here.
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Orton will be better than Cutler?
No mobility Orton? The dude with a bad ankle? He’s going to pass it 600+ times and succeed?
This is a great day for the Bears
YOUUUU-AHHHH NAWT SERIOUS. *stretches neck from side to side*
OURRR-AHH HEAD COACH IS NAWT GETTIN ENOUGH FOR OURR PLAY-AHHHHS
I told you all, fuck orton. Ive been saying it for the last year.
fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck
eagerly waiting to hear Tommy the obnoxious boston fan’s take on why the great d-bag belichick didnt get squat for cassell while his old assistant got a nechbeard, 2 first rounders, and a third for Cutler…
Jesus fuck. The franchise QB gets traded, but no competent QB and not a single Top 10 draft pick in return. The corpse of Al Davis did perk up at the chance to finish 3rd in the AFC West now.
We now have Chris Simms, Kyle Orton, 7 back-up caliber RBs, and absolutely no defense. Fucking great.
So the first thing the Denver assclown did as coach is to get rid of a pretty decent quarterback and get saddled with the neckbeard.
Yeah, that winning percentage is going to go up, boys, UP!
What a moron. And all for what? For Matt Cassell? It’d been one thing if he had tried to trade for Tom Brady, but Matt Fucking Cassell?
Best. Coach. Ever.
I truly think that Orton will outperform Cutler in Denver. Specifically in the LoDo area, where he can drink unencumbered from that pesky insulin pump.
Oh, Football? You guys are completely Fucked!
Cutler, noted short bus rider, drunk, emo-sulker and diabeetus poster boy for 2 firsts, a 3rd and Orton. Cassel and Vrabel for a second. McDaniels and Pioli school Lovie and Bellicheat. Holy Shit am I pissed!
/Dick Joke
/Vag Joke
/Anal Joke
I just don’t think the Marmalard-Neckbeard posts will be as good as Marmalard-Cutlerfucker.
/limp dick joke
Len Pasquarelli: “It makes no sense at this point to assign blame for the current ugly situation surrounding the Broncos. With the trade completed, it’s up to the pundits to weigh in on whether coach Josh McDaniels or Cutler was more responsible. There is plenty of culpability to be shared by those men and others.”
Uh, Len, aren’t you technically a pundit? Also, it makes no sense to assign blame, but then you assign that task to someone else. I can see why you’re tight with the King.
The worst part of this whole thing is that the Broncos will end up with Mark Sanchez instead of drafting quality defensive players. FUCK!
@ DC, well done.
Viva Neckbeard, he’ll have a better season, statistically and record, than Emo Bear.
http://chicago.metblogs.com/archives/images/2006/05/emo_bear.JPG
Not only can Joaquin Phoenix rap, but he can also play some QB. Who knew?
Those saying the NFC North is the JV of the NFC are missing one thing…2 of the last 3 years the NFC North has had a representative in the NFC Championship game. I’d say that’s pretty good for a JV division.
This may sound OUT there…but..Broncos pick up M VICK! I know can you believe I went there either. Think about it.
What’s the over/under on the number of games before Brandon Marshall Bobby Boucher’s Josh McDaniels? After he returns from his next suspension, of course.
The media is so bullshit. Orton is like the little engine that couldn’t. How is this short term? That’s a ridiculous comment. No matter how Culter does THIS season, it is going to be so satisfying to see the Broncos scrabbling for a new quarterback after the forth game. The wide spread delusion is unbelievable. This is one of the greatest days in Bears history. The reason people don’t like Cutler is because ESPN is actually 24 hour soap opera channel and wishes talent was based on perfect manners. The whole city of Denver is going to grow a neckbeard during this season. Congrats.
Josh McDaniels, I know Bill Belichick.
I’ve seen Bill Belichick cheat his way to 3 Super Bowl victories. I’ve seen Bill Belichick develop a flagging organization into one of the models in Pro Football. I’ve seen Bill Belichick spawn countless assistant coaches from his coaching lineage only to watch them fail miserably. I’ve seen Bill Belichick squire and nail cougary MILFs from Gloucester to Beverly Hills.
You, Josh McDaniels, are no Bill Belichick.
Obviously you haven’t been paying attention to the Bear’s first round picks lately.
@troy lolamalu
agree. look at brady first few season. but a good qb wont help the disaster that is Chi-Town receiving corp.
an arena receiver, average TE, and hester (if he was meant to be a WR you think miami would have seen it and tried it.)
@ Mouth Eyes
Good quarterbacks make good receivers, not the other way around.
Tell that to Randy Moss
No sympathy for Culter whatsoever. The Broncos are better off without him, even if Orton sucks.
Also, the Bears didn’t give up shit in this trade – they got rid of 2 FIRST round draft picks that they would have wasted, a 3rd round pick (probably the most valuable, since that is where Angelo usually finds impact players), and a drunken noodle arm QB with a neckbeard.
Cutler is an established player who was rightfully sought after by up to 10 teams.
The Broncos got a couple of 1st round picks that may equate to nothing…I mean, the Lions also stockpiled a bunch of 1st round picks, and how did that turn out?
I’d take the established (and young) NFL player any day…
As a Chargers fan, I also welcome his Neckbeardness to the division. Go ahead and pencil the bolts in for another division title. Say what you want about the AFC West, but just ask Monkey Business how it felt to meet the special ed. division winner in the playoffs the last two years.
/don’t ask Ape.
Kyle K – you meant “Kyle Orton UNDERthrowing to Brandon Marshall, Eddie Royal, and perhaps Tony Scheffler”
john daniel’s & coke?! sheeeeit negro, that’s all you had to say.
no wonder the asshole’s a stupid drunk. he’s putting his adult beverages on a TGV across his blood-brain barrier. any serious drinker knows you never mix your preferred liquor with a sweet mixer – especially a carbonated one. doing so guarantees two things: 1) admittedly, you’ll get drunker faster, but 2) you’ll be hung over a shitload worse because those sugar molecules do a goddam vulcan mind-meld with your brain cells.
2 fixes: first, don’t drink a liquor that’s better used for cleaning combustion engine parts. John Daniel’s is the gunk degreaser of high-octane beverages; fortunately, it doesn’t have the ozone-depleting qualities of its congenital cousin. asshole’s better off with something double-distilled (scotch whisky) or, better yet, triple distilled (irish whisky); second, for the love of all that’s holy, only drink it on the rocks with a splash of water. it tastes better, you won’t wind up projectile vomiting on the young hotness you had planned on defiling seven ways from sunday, and you’ll skate any traffic stop you might encounter (once you have your sea legs under you; til then, use all that fuckin disposable income to hire a driver to obviate the threat and impress said young hotness).
i’m just sayin…
btw.. even with the Cutler trade to CHI, Aaron Rodgers is the best QB in the NFC north… this may not be a popular opinion but once Jay realizes he’s throwing to Devin Hester instead of Brandon Marshall, we will see how efficient he is.. Sorry to bring up reality.. Also, Kyle Orton throwing to Brandon Marshall, Eddie Royal, and perhaps Tony Schefller is actually really intriguing.. plus they got 2 first round picks?! wow…
This is all Tom Brady’s knee’s fault.
So, if the NFC North is the NFL’s JV division, what does that make the AFC West?
The AFC West is the NFL’s Special Ed. Division.
@ intramural 6th man award
As a Vikings fan, I’m cool with the way the NFC North is right now. I only have to worry about the Bears and Packers every season. And every year my guys can stumble ass-backwards into a home playoff game and also can THEORETICALLY make a big run.
Oh, and fuck the Packers.
So, if the NFC North is the NFL’s JV division, what does that make the AFC West?
All the microbrews in Colorado just became macrobrews. Eh? EH???
@TPT and all the others hating on the NFC north
up here in the frozen wasteland of america we know that its been a down few years, but you dance with who you came with, we can’t all be pittsburgh fans . arizona proved, once again, last year that ANYONE can get hot at the right time and make a run as long as they are at the dance. NFC North would take the AFC and NFC west any day of the week now. we aren’t anyone’s weak sister.
All Hail the NFC North! The Mighty Black ‘N’ Blue Division!
Guh. It’s the NFL’s JV Division, but at least it’s getting talked about.
-Skål Vikings! You incompetent, retard chimps. Find a new way to shit the bed in a big game, assholes.
-Fuck you in the fat pants with a bratwurst, Packers.
-Bear Down on more ill-advised trades and mediocrity at QB, Chicago!
-Thank you for two free wins every year, Lions. They really help.
Orton in Colorado has Dante Stallworth written all over it.
Too soon?
Best suggestion of what to do with my Cutler jersey gets pics taken and posted on the internet.
/drunk
Being proud of winning the NFC North is like being proud to be the tallest midget in the carnival. Oh yeah, looks like McDaniel is the next in a long line of former N.E. coordinators to fall flat on his ass as a HC.
@monkey
i just read back and saw that you are a colts fan. no wonder you are down on this trade. you have a functional front office that can actually draft in the top ten (curtis ennis and cedric benson anyone?) and one of the best qb’s to ever pick up the ball. the bears are the antithesis of the colts. there is no way you can understand what it has been like to see one abortion of a qb after another line up under center year after year for my ENTIRE SENTIENT LIFE. even if we go 0-16, i wouldn’t be really chaffed because the bears actually tried something logical to get better. i’ll just get a little jock itch.
Colts suck! Peyton Manning has a fetus head!
@monkey
i guess we will have to encourage our pro bowl qb (god that feels good) to not fraternize with the rest of the short bus qbs in our division, though i wouldn’t put rodgers in that group. the point is we won’t have to run forte into the ground now that we can actually throw an out pass or try a completion over 20 yards. i never said that chicago was the best place for cutler, talent-wise it is obviously minneapolis, but we are a perfect fit for each other. a fanbase dying for a qb to love and a qb that needs to be coddled. the reason its such a good place for cutler is that our bar IS so low. if he can mange to walk and chew gum we will worship the ground he walks on.
there was never a need for a wr, because we haven’t had a qb that could get anyone the ball. cart before the horse. we could have had rice in his prime and it wouldn’t have made a shit bit of difference over the last decade because our qbs were shit and wouldn’t have been able to get him the ball. this is a great move for the bears as long as cutler’s talent wasn’t all smoke and mirrors, and i don’t believe it was.
Must agree. NFC north is pretty worthless. Regardless, the winner of this division will be bounced out in the first round like a midget in a heavyweight fight. But if Chi-town is happy with their crying qb. then let them be happy, in 5 years they will look back, and wonder why they can win a game. Because their aging defense will be washed up in two years, their 6ft and under club receiving core cant beat a defense, and forte will end up injured after attempting to carry it over 600 times.
jmc, you’re hilarious. Do you think that the Bears missed out on “a quality receiver?” How so? When was the last time the Bears drafted “a quality reveiver?” Or was this to be the YEAR they actually do? Let’s see…were you hoping for another David Terrell in the first round?!
The Bears have scrubs at WR right now, but Cutler makes them better. And FA receivers are more likely to be lured to a team with a QB who completes passes, not throws up lame ducks like Neckbeard.
You say the Bears are looking “too short term;” what does that mean? What do you think Orton was besides “short term.” He was a fucking stopgap in a QB history of stopgaps. There’s a reason Orton was buried behind Griese & Grossman, and not due to a conspiracy. It’s because he sucks. Only in Chicago could a certifiable career backup be given a starting job. Jay Cutler answers the QB position for a reasonable amount of time; now build around his talent.
Finally, you say the Broncos “lucked out?” How? They just erased their entire offensive chemistry. You think Royal and Marshall are feeling good right about now? They just lost a 4500+ yard passer for scrap heap players in Orton and Simms, who will have a duel of ineptitude to see which one is better. Add in the Broncos abysmal running game, porous defense, and the entire team in suddenly in COMPLETE rebuild mode.
jmc is a dolt. Probably has a Kyle Orton jersey too…
@intramural 6th man award
Saying you have the best QB in the NFC North is like winning the Special Olympics. Yes, you won, but you’re still competing against a bunch of retards, and you yourself are retarded.
If anything, Chicago is the WORST place for Cutler. Pace will miss at least 6 games. Hester will continue to have brick hands. And Matt Forte’s legs will fall off sometime in November after his 537th carry of the season. Cutler will demand that they fill one of the coolers with Old Style by the end of September. I’m not sure that the bar can be set any lower than “Chicago QB”, other than “Detroit Franchise”, but this, like the first time I made love, will only end in tears, recrimination, and a restraining order.
Jerry Angelo can’t draft in the first round anyways, so not that big of a lost. Plus, they had two 3rd round picks, so they will still draft that round. It’s not like the Bears can’t find a good receiver in the middle rounds. Good quarterbacks make good receivers, not the other way around. Am I missing something? Oh yea…
/dick joke
You’ve got to see Peter King’s article on si about the trade, pure King…pure clutch, way to go BRONCOS
i am a 26 year old bear fan. the best qb i can remember is erik goddamn kramer, a detroit reject. jim mcmahon was just a guy in sunglasses.
we gave away the farm for this guy, but i could not be happier. we miss on our first round picks more than I care to think about, and neckbeard was not the answer. for the first time in my life i can say my team has the best qb in the division (not saying much, I know, but feels FANTASTIC nonetheless). getting cutler along with signing orlando pace gives a serviceable offensive line, we have two solid tight ends (one with enough speed to run the seam), a speed wr, and forte out of the backfield. this actually sounds like a real offense. i’m about to piss myself I’m so excited. imagine what our old-ass defense will be able to do when they don’t have to take 70% of the snaps during the game.
and this is the perfect place for cutler. our expectations of a qb are so low from 2 decades of ineptitude that as long as he doesn’t fumble that center-exchange regularly we’ll think he’s the best thing since sliced bread.
with how weak the NFC north is, is minnesota had landed this guy. we would have been fucked for the next decade. now we at least have a snowball’s chance in hell. yes virginia, we have a qb.
the bears just dug themselves an even larger hole… they lost all hope of getting a quality receiver. and by the time they do get one. cutler will be begging for another trade.
broncos on the other hand lucked out. Now if they want can pick up a QB this year or next in the first round, and some weapons to help him out.
Bears are looking too short term. They may pull off a divisional championship, but that is because the division is weak and in a few year will wonder why on earth they lost the opportunity to score some play makers.
I know, right. For once, why can’t -MY- team do something exciting and reckless!
/trading for Winslow was a start
Chicago is celebrating. Denver is mourning, and as a Colts fan I can say with nearly 100% certainty that Bill Polian is not drafting a quarterback in the first round. However, now that I’ve said that, he’s going to do exactly that. Or turn that 1st round pick into like 2 2nds, 3 3rds, and a 5th and will somehow come up with 4 serviceable starters.
/The Colts are the most boring team in the world from February to September
Does the elevation in Denver affect forward passes? Because that could positively (or negatively) affect Orton’s already pathetic limp noodle arm…
I wonder how the fans of the Neckbeard Nation will receive their messiah when he’s not completing 75% of his passes on dump-offs to Matt Forte? Who the hell is the HB in Denver these days anyhow?
Royal and Marshall – prepare to be underthrown on a weekly basis!
Fuck me in the goddamn goat-ass, Kyle Orton? That’s going to be our QB? Cutler was the first decent QB in Denver since Elway, and we traded him for another mediocrity. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.
Cassell only netted a 2nd round pick, and Cutler gets the Broncos a starting qb(sort of), 2 first rounders, and a number 3? Jesus Christ something is wrong with that.
Once you understand that Cutler is better than Cassel, not really.
FInally I will see a real quarterback in Chicago (Sex Cannon blips on the radar withstanding)
/looks at receiving core
Ah Fuck well maybe Earl Bennett but they will probably pick someone else up also but I was still so excited i threw my monitor across the room at work today
Porky1,
Agreed, I think whoever came up with that joke first on some other site is pretty damned clever.
TDub: But it IS kind of funny.
One wonders where the Sex Cannon will land in free agency. Hopefully somewhere with a supple and fertile female population.
I hear Wilco’s “shot in the arm” playing in the background.
Chances that Anon and Jason Campbell M’m m’m 8-8 came up with the same joke at once: not that great.
Chances that they are borrowing from the same material: pretty high.
Two words:
Drunken Skiing
Yeah, this was a good trade. And Kyle Orton had a beard.
/Kyle Orton DID have a beard!
TODD HALEY FINDS THIS DISPLAY OF HEAD-COACHING BALLS SO IMPRESSIVE HE’S CONSIDERING NODDING OVER IN JOSH MCDANIELS’ GENERAL DIRECTION
Look who isn’t familiar with the microbreweries in Colorado.
Please. That was a joke about Coors, not Colorado.
Trade is a-ok with me (almost Herschel Walker-esque), but I still hate Josh McDipshit until further notice.
@ Otto Man:
Imagine if he went to a state that produced beer.
Look who isn’t familiar with the microbreweries in Colorado.
Cassell only netted a 2nd round pick, and Cutler gets the Broncos a starting qb(sort of), 2 first rounders, and a number 3? Jesus Christ something is wrong with that. At this pace, the Browns will trade D.A. and get like 7 first rounders and Adrien Peterson…i hope.
/poop joke.
I’m mad pissed about it, but if you trade someone for more value than when you lose him after the franchise tag is put on a guy, I guess i’m ok—-
fuck that mcdaniels you’re the worst thing that ever happen to the broncos
LOLZ, Chicago!
Looking forward to first game when Cutler is booed off the field and found cutting himself in the shower.
@ BQC:
In Wisconsin, we’re celebrating.
In Minnesota and Michigan, everyone is crying while jamming Little Debbie’s down their throats in a sad attempt to drown their sorrow.
However, it must be noted that the last time Denver had such a glorious beard at QB, they were a contender.
Kyle Orton couldn’t beat out Brian Griese half the time in Chicago, now he’s going to the city that ran Griese out of town.
Chris Simms, the backup, once inspired so little confidence in Tampa that the Bucs tried to acquire Jake Plummer, the next guy Denver ran out of town.
When Jay Cutler ends up in Arizona in 2012, the circle will be complete.
Kyle Orton going to the state that contains Coors, Inc.
Imagine if he went to a state that produced beer.
Had the Bears done this when they only needed a quarterback other than the Cum Slinger to win a championship, this would have been a great trade.
Now that the Bears have lost any talented wide receiver they had, their defense is aging, and their offensive line decided it wanted to suck, this kind of trade is short sighted and foolish.
Hear that noise? That’s the sound of celebration from Green Bay… And that noise was everyone collapsing with myocardial infarctions because their hearts couldn’t handle the stress.
I’m totally getting a Chicago Jersey that says “DIABEETUS”
To bad Orton can not throw the ball more than 30 yards.