Nasty Fetish Tournament — Tournament Semifinal
In an obviously misguided attempt at mocking the playoff structure of the NCAA tournament, we’re inviting readers to enjoy matchups of actual fetishes in a voter-powered tournament. We’ve finally reached the Round of Four, with the other tourney semifinal hosted at Punte’s site. Remember, you’re voting for what you consider the more nasty fetish.
1. Necrobestiality
Literal Meaning: “When a gentleman engages in sexual congress with a corpse of a departed animal friend.”
Wiki says: Apparently preferable to Pedonecrobestiality.
Notable Advocates: Brian Eno, Brentson Buckner, Gordon Brown
13. Stoma fucking
Literal Meaning: “One who fantasizes about penetrating a surgically creating orifice, either in the in the colon or the esophagus.”
ExStomaChick says: DON’T GET ANY IDEAS!
Notable Advocates: Reuben Droughns, Tom Leykis, Gabriel Byrne
Tags: Nasty Fetish Final Four
April 6th, 2009 at 12:24 pm
LETS GO STOMA!!!!
April 6th, 2009 at 12:24 pm
Leykis? You’ll love us (neck style).
April 6th, 2009 at 12:24 pm
How the hell did stoma fucking get this far?
April 6th, 2009 at 12:32 pm
Why is Gabriel Byrne a fan? That made me laugh. What an overunderrated actor. Right? One of those guys that is awesome in awful ways
April 6th, 2009 at 12:33 pm
I genuinely feel for the ex-stoma chick. It’s so hard to worry about being the target of uninvited fetishes. Sometimes I worry that guys only want to have sex with me because I’m absurdly attractive :(
April 6th, 2009 at 12:47 pm
I’ll only fuck a cow, if it’s medium.
April 6th, 2009 at 1:05 pm
I’m downright impressed that you guys stuck to it and went all the way through with this endeavour. That said, please never do it again.
April 6th, 2009 at 1:30 pm
Another use for the term “neckgina.”
/KSK Word of the week > PKWOTW
April 6th, 2009 at 2:09 pm
That deer (moose?) looks like it’s enjoying itself.
April 6th, 2009 at 3:54 pm
This whole tournament has been a test, like a vision quest. You have taken us to dark places; you have shown us things we would never see on our own. And we have learned. We have learned what darkness lurks in our fellow man (and the Romanian hooker he must engage because there’s no way his wife is doing this shit), our fellow commenters (I’m looking at you, CVE), and ourselves. The journey hasn’t been pleasant, but it was worth it to know that we made it through in piece.
April 6th, 2009 at 4:57 pm
I can’t help but imagine the absolute horror that whoever is doing the picture searching for this tournament has had to go through. I mean, you almost have to have your safe filters off, and who knows what else that may bring up. I could never look at enough puppies to get those images burned out of my retinas.
April 6th, 2009 at 5:10 pm
and here it is in real life…
http://www.kansascity.com/news/breaking_news/story/1127306.html
April 6th, 2009 at 6:35 pm
Here it is. The semi-finals to end all semi-finals. Fuck the NCAA bracket, this is where the party’s at.
After long, careful consideration, I’d say that fucking something that’s DEAD is still more disgusting than sticking your dick in a hole in a warm body. But just barely.
April 6th, 2009 at 6:53 pm
I really tried for a couple of minutes to make the argument for the argument. But no. It’s just not there. Necrobeastiality in a walk.
April 6th, 2009 at 8:24 pm
It is close, but NMC is totally right. Dead is dead. And animals are animals. Put them together and it beats stoma fucking, no doubt.
/was embarassingly excited to return from class to vote for this
April 6th, 2009 at 9:01 pm
Is there somewhere with the bracket filled out completely with the winners, my friends and I have a bet going and I don’t want to do the work to look up each game
April 6th, 2009 at 9:42 pm
Jon: Here’s the bracket filled out through a week ago. I’ll do a wrapped up version after the title game.
April 7th, 2009 at 9:29 am
Beastiality vs. Necrobestiality will be the lamest final ever. There should be rules against this sort of stuff.