Yeah but do you really want to lose it to some fucknut who’s obviously only interested in what HE gets out of it? I mean, your first time isn’t going to be fantastic anyways (really it’s not), but there’s a huge difference between “hmm, t’was okay” and “I HATE THAT FUCKING ASSHOLE!”

He’s shown no interest in whether YOU are enjoying yourself, so I doubt that that’s going to change if you get him to poke you.

Is SDSU South Dakota State or San Diego State?

I’d finally lose the damn vcard? And I go to SDSU, also known as STDSU. Yeah, I’m in an alternate universe.

Yeah he’d be thrilled if you did that. I’m not real sure what you’re getting in the bargain though, apart from (probably) a lousy lay?

You must be going to the craziest college in the US if there are basically no guys interested in getting you laid! Where the fuck is this, Brigham Young?

And it’s not going that well, unfortunately, partly because of midterms. I actually was thinking of writing to the mailbag again, but I couldn’t think of a way to word it. There have been no new possibilities, only more slutty-but-I’m-somehow-still-a-virgin encounters (that word makes me feel like I’m referencing Close Encounters of the Third Kind but I’m not, I swear) that just frustrate me more. The mailbag question that is pending in my mind is about the blowjob guy: he wants me to toss his salad now and the last time I saw him the only way I got out of it was saying I’d do it next time. I’m weighing if rimjob/fuck me is a good enough bargain. I think it’s a pretty good deal for him, eh?

To me, tree rape and tentacles are far worse than bestiality. Live bestiality got nothing on the necro form.

Anyway, I’m predicting an all-beastiality final. Boring, I guess, but I’m not sure there’s anything that brings out quite as much revulsion in ordinary people as sex with animals.

/makes possible exception for classic necrophilia

How’s the virgin thing going?

Btw, this should become a rule for the mailbag. People who write in have to provide sporadic updates on their progress. For example, I’d *** LOVE *** to know how the guy who webcam’ed his wife’s sister in the shower, then made copies on DVD AND VHS is doing.

Shitting on someone’s face at least means you’re both alive. Seriously, how do people even get off on fucking something that’s dead? Dead bodies are COLD. Wouldn’t just sticking your dick in a fleshlight or something be more interesting?

This is the tournament winner right here, btw. There’s nothing else even half as insane.