In an obviously misguided attempt at mocking the playoff structure of the NCAA tournament, we’re inviting readers to enjoy matchups of actual fetishes in a voter-powered tournament, culminating in April with the Nasty Fetish Final Four. That tournament continues today with the final in the Christmas Ape Region. Who will be the first entrant in the Nasty Fetish Final Four? Remember, you’re voting for what you consider the more nasty fetish.

7. Menophilia

Literal Meaning: “Described as being sexually excited by a female during menstruation. This can be further described as people who are turned on by the smell, image, taste or feel of the blood expelled during menstruation.”

The Intarwebs say: “Menophilia is the fetish for menstruating women. Blood to me is exciting. Thrilling. A visual delight. It has been that way since I was a young girl. Nose bleeds and the sight of blood was exciting to me. I would sit in the mirror and watch the red rivulets run down my face. I began to menstruate and after a period of self loathing and fear of my cycle.”

Notable Advocates: Jean-Paul Belmondo, Freddie Prinze Jr., Anderson Silva

13. Stoma Fucking

Literal Meaning: “One who fantasizes about penetrating a surgically creating orifice, either in the in the colon or the esophagus.”

Gossipy nurse says: “A woman in her 40’s who had had a colostomy for several years following a bad MVA was admitted for an infection in her colostomy site. She came to my unit and sure enough, green pus everywhere. The site was cultured and.. guess what? She had gonorrhea in her stoma. She reluctantly admitted that she had met a man in a fetish chatroom and let him “make love” to her stoma!”

Notable Advocates: Brian Urlacher, Doug E. Fresh, Tim Heidecker