KSK Kontent Klearinghouse
Here’s a rundown of stuff we didn’t get to for full posts today because we’re lazy masturbaters.
First, up top is a new video poking fun at the shtick of Mel Kiper Jr., who isn’t quite as reviled by our commenters as I would have suspected. C’MON HE’S FROM BALTIMORE, PEOPLE!
The latest post from Marty B is up and it’s another classic. Curious about the racially hot-button issue that is black people’s love of fried chicken and also why black people don’t come in picture frames (Answer: because black people are already framed in real life! ZING!), he decided to poll NUMEROUS PEOPLE and report his findings. He should work for Gallup.
The Jaguars joined the Lions in revealing fugtastic Arena League-esque uniforms. So the 13 people who own Jags jerseys will have to update with a new one. They even make Silky Garrard look off-putting. For shame.
The hot transactional-type rumors of the moment have Carolina shipping Julius Peppers to New England for a 2nd round pick and Richard Seymour. Drew said he can already hear Simmons saying he was the only one who knew Seymour was on the decline. Also, Tony Gonzalez is rumored to be heading to Philly. Because someone who keeps a macrobiotic diet would really be happy on an Andy Reid-coached team.
Tags: jacksonville jaguars, Mel Kiper Jr., stuff i can't write because i'm whitey, uni fail, xmas ape
April 22nd, 2009 at 7:37 pm
Son of a fucking bitch. First Holt, now this shit? The Jags had decent unis, but these are pretty much a copy of the Falcons’ unis with fucktastically fucked colors. Does that look like the look of happiness on Silky’s face? No, it looks like he’s having a Crohn’s flare up.
Just curious, since we’ve had more Jags coverage in this week than y’all have put out in the last year, does this mean I’m not going to read about the Jags till 2010?
April 22nd, 2009 at 7:40 pm
I had to un-follow MartyBTV on Twitter today … and that hurt as a big Cowboys fan and a fan of MartyB in general. But holy shit … in a medium full of inane babble, his Tweets were on a whole other level. Painful to read…
April 22nd, 2009 at 7:42 pm
It’s the KSK Kontent Klearinghouse! Live from the historic Apollo Theater in Harlem, NY!
April 22nd, 2009 at 7:49 pm
my goodness those uniforms are awful. as if jag fans needed another reason to stop supporting the team…
on another jag-related note, word on the street is former jag WR jimmy smith got arrested for possession of 8 oz of cocaine (or something like that). methinks smith and matt jones have quite the business partnership
April 22nd, 2009 at 7:59 pm
“He always comes back.”
It seems like Mel Kipah Jr. hibernates between May and February and then pops up in March to begin his prelude to the draft. Then there is his day of glory, Draft Day. He is so excited for the draft, he’s like a little kid getting ready for the first day of school. Can’t you just picture him in the dressing room straightening his tie and giggling to himself?
April 22nd, 2009 at 9:02 pm
Well played, Gino.
April 22nd, 2009 at 9:12 pm
Fuzzy Zoeller would like to sign Marty B as his new spokesman.
April 22nd, 2009 at 9:20 pm
I can’t decide who Martellus is putting back further, black people or Texas A&M grads.
April 22nd, 2009 at 9:25 pm
Keep Seymour’s brittle ass and throw in another pick or two in the first half of the draft for Peppers.
April 22nd, 2009 at 9:59 pm
MartyB’s blog is the bomb…and I luv me’s some fried chicken
April 22nd, 2009 at 10:38 pm
You kidding? Silky designed those damn things himself.
April 22nd, 2009 at 10:39 pm
Yayyyy Rutgers!
April 22nd, 2009 at 10:45 pm
Those uniforms will look great in L.A. in 2 years!
April 22nd, 2009 at 11:00 pm
Teal glitter on their black helmets. That’s the most masculine/badass idea ever.
April 22nd, 2009 at 11:27 pm
C’MON HE’S FROM BALTIMORE, PEOPLE!
The enemy of my enemy is my friend, Ape.
April 22nd, 2009 at 11:45 pm
@ tomlinson’s pain tolerance: they’ve tried the whole “football team in l.a.” before, remember? failed twice. (see rams, raiders)
April 22nd, 2009 at 11:46 pm
well, unless you count the chargers… that would be three times.
April 23rd, 2009 at 12:00 am
I can only pray that Peppers for a 2nd and Seymour rumor is the typical humor found on the site, because if that’s anywhere near true, I might have to find the nearest New Englander and take him to the bank, change a 10 into a roll of quarters and then just FUCK HIS ASS SIDEWAYS with the roll (bonus points for anybody who knows that reference). There’s no way Carolina could be that fucking stupid as to not even get a first rounder at least. I still say they keep him and tell NE to fuck off.
April 23rd, 2009 at 2:05 am
Martellus Bennett: reinforcing racial stereotypes and acting like a junior high student since 1987.
/huge MartyB fan
Incidentally, Popeyes had a special today: 8 pieces mixed for $4.99. Half of my town attended.
//errbody love fried chicken
///errbody love michael vick
April 23rd, 2009 at 6:08 am
I think the lack of Mel Kiper hate is because of Todd McShay. If Mel were the sole representative of smug mock drafters who pour over the length of each prospect’s dick like it holds the key to NFL supremacy, I’m sure he’d be reviled greatly.
However, when you have a choice between him and McShay, who is like some douchebag hybrid of Ryan Seacrest and Brian Billick, it’s hard not to support Mel.
April 23rd, 2009 at 7:27 am
@ moirrra
ZING! good one
April 23rd, 2009 at 7:33 am
When Tony Gonzalez was 30, maybe I would be happy to see him in midnight green. But he’s 33. That’s not a long-term fix for the tight end position. Yes, he’s still pretty good but it’s more likely he can break down.
/still holding out hopes for Anquan Boldin.
//reality is not present in my life
///Andy Reid and Joe Banner are feminine cleansing products
April 23rd, 2009 at 9:37 am
I think Bubby hit the nail on the head about Mel. I want to hate him, but then i see that grinning little weaselfuck McShay. Is it too much to ask of Mel to go into a spittle-spewing rage directed at McShay this year?
April 23rd, 2009 at 9:45 am
Marty B kinda simple, but at least the comments section was kinda lighthearted over there, was expecting the blowout RaFlaWa on the DMN board, but was pleasantly surprised. Jags unis suck balls, I mean the L.A. Express just closed up shop AGAIN so Jacksonville decides it’s OK to look like them?
@Not Your Fweind, Guy: That sounds like The Rock, but I’m not sure since I stopped watching the WWF or WWE or whatever the fuck it is these days like 10 years ago.
April 23rd, 2009 at 10:01 am
Damn Marty. I was going to get Popeye’s last night but my credit card got declined. Didn’t even have $7. I’m a po’ white boy.
April 23rd, 2009 at 10:14 am
Silky just needs his pimp hat and he’ll be smoooooooth.
April 23rd, 2009 at 11:06 am
@jackin’ Jesus no… it’s from a movie I figured everybody who reads the site would’ve seen
April 23rd, 2009 at 3:32 pm
We’ll spill it already! I kinda thought it was a wrasslin reference as well. . . .
April 23rd, 2009 at 9:20 pm
Sex Drive
April 24th, 2009 at 6:05 pm
Moirrra
In case you haven’t noticed the team in Jacksonville is failing worse than any of the L.A. teams.