Kill Kill Kill: Cannibal Ox’s Pigeon
Foolish pigeon. Full of empty-headed ideas about the turtle. All he knows of them are benign representations in pop culture. Yertle, Koopa Troopa. Vaguely menacing but ultimately harmless. Plodding simpletons, so easy to elude. And what that Family Guy line? “Nature’s D student?” Heh. You know that’s right.
Then: snatch, submerge, sever.
Naturally this happened at a Brazilian zoo. Where else could Gisele learn the finer points of lightning fast child-snatching?
![[badge]](http://cdn.ksk.uproxx.com/wp-content/themes/default/images/100121_FOXmsnBadge_200x50.gif)
April 1st, 2009 at 3:12 pm
that pigeon must have never seen Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles aka heroes in a half-shell.
April 1st, 2009 at 3:16 pm
“snatch, submerge, sever.”
Also, a good way to deal with hookers and hobos.
April 1st, 2009 at 3:17 pm
This may be the very awesomest Kill Kill Kill ever. Stupid pigeons.
April 1st, 2009 at 3:20 pm
The turtle then said, “Fuck, I’m an herbivore!”
April 1st, 2009 at 3:23 pm
pussy ain’t worth the Ramada
April 1st, 2009 at 3:23 pm
I call the big one Bitey.
April 1st, 2009 at 3:24 pm
Nature at its finest.
April 1st, 2009 at 3:36 pm
The turtle then said, “Fuck, I’m an herbivore!”
Maybe the pigeon was named Herb.
April 1st, 2009 at 3:37 pm
This, ladies and gentlemen, is why being a golden eagle beats the shit out of being a pidgeon.
April 1st, 2009 at 3:41 pm
a pigeon can’t drop shit if it never flew
April 1st, 2009 at 3:44 pm
One minute you’re shitting on cars…
April 1st, 2009 at 3:53 pm
“This may be the very awesomest Kill Kill Kill ever. Stupid pigeons.”
What about the one where the pelican ate the pigeon? That was pretty good too, and it also had pigeon-death.
April 1st, 2009 at 3:54 pm
I shut down my Pandora station for this shit, and it was ON FIRE. Fuck you guys.
April 1st, 2009 at 3:55 pm
the guy in the video hit the nail right on the head. i couldn’t have said it better myself.
April 1st, 2009 at 4:03 pm
“My God, a pigeon! That’s that’s the last one on my list. Heh. So long suckers!”
April 1st, 2009 at 4:06 pm
‘oh, pigeon! i’d kiss you if you weren’t swimming with disease!’
-Lisa Simpson
he now sleeps with tha fishes
April 1st, 2009 at 4:26 pm
“That’s Goodfeathers…”
April 1st, 2009 at 4:28 pm
Even in Portuguese that kicked kicked kicked ass!
Lego egg-o-waffle halo
April 1st, 2009 at 4:33 pm
think of that next time you’re sittin in an innertube and decide to drop trou
April 1st, 2009 at 4:33 pm
Ah the pigeon, proof rats and seagulls mate.
April 1st, 2009 at 4:56 pm
We can solve the pigeon problem with turtles. When the turtles get out of hand, we send in the gorillas to eat them. Then the gorillas die when winter comes around. Lickety split.
April 1st, 2009 at 6:19 pm
Of course, that pigeon is going to be reborn as a Scream Phoenix.
/knows that was lame
April 1st, 2009 at 6:23 pm
This reminds me of that one TMNT episode where Mikey scarf down on a pigeon and pineapple pizza while April bitches and moans.
… shoulda nunchucked the shit outta her.
April 1st, 2009 at 6:27 pm
HA! Eat shit, bird. Not so fucking bad now, are we?
April 1st, 2009 at 7:04 pm
POOR pigeon, you bloggers should be ashamed of yourselves! What if a pteradactyl swallowed you whole,how would you taste. that turtle will be constipated for life.
April 1st, 2009 at 7:05 pm
That was unreal. I guess all those kids at UMD are right, fear the turtle.
April 1st, 2009 at 7:48 pm
I don’t know if anyone here recognized it, but I certainly appreciated the Cannibal Ox reference! Classic!
April 1st, 2009 at 7:55 pm
Excellent commentary from Clovis there
Seriously, that’s probably the best Kill Kill Kill you scamps have posted.
April 1st, 2009 at 11:10 pm
Scott Van Pelt just came after watching that video.
April 1st, 2009 at 11:12 pm
You had me at snatch.
April 2nd, 2009 at 9:29 am
I think Kill Kill Kill might be my favorite part of this blog.
/re-examines life choices
//joins military
April 2nd, 2009 at 12:48 pm
Needs more goats being thrown off cliffs. Seriously, that was great.
April 2nd, 2009 at 7:57 pm
Bill Laimbeer is distraught
April 3rd, 2009 at 3:19 pm
MY BABIES!!! NO!!!