Kill Kill Kill: Cannibal Ox’s Pigeon
04.01.09Foolish pigeon. Full of empty-headed ideas about the turtle. All he knows of them are benign representations in pop culture. Yertle, Koopa Troopa. Vaguely menacing but ultimately harmless. Plodding simpletons, so easy to elude. And what that Family Guy line? “Nature’s D student?” Heh. You know that’s right.
Then: snatch, submerge, sever.
Naturally this happened at a Brazilian zoo. Where else could Gisele learn the finer points of lightning fast child-snatching?
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Just bought our kid some lego – at first he didn’t understand what exactly to do while using types the good news is he won’t quit building!
MY BABIES!!! NO!!!
Bill Laimbeer is distraught
Needs more goats being thrown off cliffs. Seriously, that was great.
I think Kill Kill Kill might be my favorite part of this blog.
/re-examines life choices
//joins military
You had me at snatch.
Scott Van Pelt just came after watching that video.
Excellent commentary from Clovis there
Seriously, that’s probably the best Kill Kill Kill you scamps have posted.
I don’t know if anyone here recognized it, but I certainly appreciated the Cannibal Ox reference! Classic!
That was unreal. I guess all those kids at UMD are right, fear the turtle.
POOR pigeon, you bloggers should be ashamed of yourselves! What if a pteradactyl swallowed you whole,how would you taste. that turtle will be constipated for life.
HA! Eat shit, bird. Not so fucking bad now, are we?
This reminds me of that one TMNT episode where Mikey scarf down on a pigeon and pineapple pizza while April bitches and moans.
… shoulda nunchucked the shit outta her.
Of course, that pigeon is going to be reborn as a Scream Phoenix.
/knows that was lame
We can solve the pigeon problem with turtles. When the turtles get out of hand, we send in the gorillas to eat them. Then the gorillas die when winter comes around. Lickety split.
Ah the pigeon, proof rats and seagulls mate.
think of that next time you’re sittin in an innertube and decide to drop trou
Even in Portuguese that kicked kicked kicked ass!
Lego egg-o-waffle halo
“That’s Goodfeathers…”
‘oh, pigeon! i’d kiss you if you weren’t swimming with disease!’
-Lisa Simpson
he now sleeps with tha fishes
“My God, a pigeon! That’s that’s the last one on my list. Heh. So long suckers!”
the guy in the video hit the nail right on the head. i couldn’t have said it better myself.
I shut down my Pandora station for this shit, and it was ON FIRE. Fuck you guys.
“This may be the very awesomest Kill Kill Kill ever. Stupid pigeons.”
What about the one where the pelican ate the pigeon? That was pretty good too, and it also had pigeon-death.
One minute you’re shitting on cars…
a pigeon can’t drop shit if it never flew
This, ladies and gentlemen, is why being a golden eagle beats the shit out of being a pidgeon.
The turtle then said, “Fuck, I’m an herbivore!”
Maybe the pigeon was named Herb.
Nature at its finest.
I call the big one Bitey.
pussy ain’t worth the Ramada
The turtle then said, “Fuck, I’m an herbivore!”
This may be the very awesomest Kill Kill Kill ever. Stupid pigeons.
“snatch, submerge, sever.”
Also, a good way to deal with hookers and hobos.
that pigeon must have never seen Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles aka heroes in a half-shell.