Jessica Simpson Lets It All Hang Out
04.03.09
Jessica Simpson is hanging out down in Mexico with her girls (but where’s Tony, could they be on the outs? OMGOMGOMG!) and, of course, the dedicated paparazzi. Unfortunately her nosy friends had to step in and thwart our hero’s dedicated effort, but not before they snapped some prime shots of her ass.
And to think, Tony Romo gets to fumble with that on a nightly basis. Well, at least the nights she’s not down in Mexico getting all oily with her lady friends.
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/global/images/default-avatar.jpg){kind=avatar}
![[image]](http://cdn.ksk.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2012/02/wasteland-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.ksk.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2012/02/belichick-sweats-150x150.jpg)
the bigger the rump, the better the pump.
she’ll take another on the rocks, please. hold the salt. she has enough water retention issues already.
I love everything about that woman…………..goes without saying that I want her to grind my face – but I said it anyway.
@J.P. – Nice homage to ‘Grandma’s Boy’
Well, at least Jessica’s pics weren’t washed through weapons-grade PhotoChop, unlike Sweetie’s.
ehh…no thanks. You know how fat she’s going to be in 10 years? She’s gonna have to grow into those tits sooner or later, and also, I prefer chicks that can actually hold a conversation. Although, who am I kidding, I’d still hit that a few times…she’d be the perfect booty call. Less talk, more fucking
@ Bubby Mop… re-butt-all…
While it’s true Sweetie’s ass is closer to ghettofection than Jessica’s, also take into account the rest of the picture. If you’re a pure ass man, and I mean pure-don’t-show-me-your-face-leave-the-shirt-on, Sweetie wins the day. However, eventually, your eyes have to drift upwards and take that into account. Sweetie looks like typical swap meet hooch from the waist up. Jessica, while largely a white trash fantasy herself, still has a far better face and a far, far better topside than Sweetie’s “ribs removed” look. Sometimes that will spill over into people’s judgment.
Anyway, there’s no point in downgrading Jessica’s ass. I’ve seen pancakes and while it is no bubble that sir is no pancake.
Prince: I’m begging ya to put those two asses side-by-side and tell me you can’t see the difference. Only a blind man or a very drunk one would think there’s no difference in the quality of those two asses.
“Big” doesn’t just mean the area. It’s a reference to the shape of the ass. A big ass like Cynide’s refers to the perkiness and perfect bubble shape that you think of when you say “baby got back.” Jessica’s is a flat shapeless pancake lily white girl ass. It makes me sad a generation of boys will think of her as Daisy Duke when she doesn’t have anywhere close to junk in the trunk to pull off the shorts.
Look, the handy rule of thumb for asses is this (ladies, feel free to try this at home): Have a girl stand with her jeans around her ankles. Then she should bend over and pull them up. If she can pull the jeans over his ass and up to her waist in one smooth motion, she has a flat pancake ass. It can be 12 inches wide and it’s still a pancake ass. However, if she has to wiggle her hips and do a little dance to nudge the jeans over her humps, then she is bootylicious.
There. Now everybody is educumated on separating a good ass from a bad one. Next lesson: colon detox.
Know what’s unreal? People are ragging on Jessica Simpson’s fat ass in this thread, but over on the ‘Sweetie Cyanide’ post, people are drooling over what has to be 8 times the ass size.
I mean, I was expecting big, cottage cheese ass when I clicked the link, too, but I actually thought these pictures were flattering…
I get it: You hear “Jessica Simpson, pictures, ass” and you go attack, attack, attack. But you hear “Sexy Friday” and you praise, praise, praise. Talk about being conditioned. Let’s not lose our goddamned minds here…
good recipe for KSK in the offseason: more nice ass, and less piss and shit and blood and cum
That’s no moon …
More cushion for the pushin’ is my motto.
Just when I thought the Spank Bank was no longer accepting deposits, along comes Jess, her great ass, and her friends with the oil.
Is this the Fatty Fetish tournament entry
BITCH PLEASE.
glad to see we are all on the same page here.
forgot to add
+1 to OttoMan
@ bk
I said :thick in the britches”, I didn’t say unattractive.
I likey the thick in the britches and that ass would get pounded doggy style for weeks on end.
i don’t care what any of you douchebags say, i would still do terrible things to that woman.
Like cast her in a serious dramatic role? You heartless bastard!
thanks Maj
sometimes I feel like the outsider in this little Jailbait Hunter’s Society
I’m sorry…are you guys saying that the fat ass is a bad thing?
No.
you dumb bitches, you’re getting your pillows all sweaty
Hmm…from those last pics of her in those bad, bad jeans, I was fully expecting to see some cottage cheese ass…
/Please get her in Playboy stat.
As long as she doesn’t open her mouth to speak, I’d hit it.
pretty much the only good looking girl that wouldn’t get IT from me is that stupid girl who is pretending like we are chatting in the True ads on my Windows Live Messenger. Why are you saying “No” to me bi%#&? I didn’t ask you anything. Screw you!
I’m sorry…are you guys saying that the fat ass is a bad thing?
anyhow, she’s too fuckin’ dumb for me, but now that she got an ass to match those tits?
well, that’s why man invented the ball gag
Just like the Gay Mafia: there’s ass out on display and the talk is all about the lack of Romopenis.
phat ass
fat tits
no problem
no brains
problem
@bk – I concur. She could tack on 50 more and I would gladly tag it six ways to Sunday
::Robot Voice:: Please sit on my face.
i don’t care what any of you douchebags say, i would still do terrible things to that woman.
+1 Mike Vick.
Is this the Fatty Fetish tournament entry. It’s not nasty if it’s available.
Now that’ll make some superfine, maximum-security-quality butt-hash.
YEEEEE-HAAAWW! It was me, the ol’ Double J, that sent Two-Tons-of-Fun to TJ. Yep, sent her to meet up with my good buddy Pedro from the local Mexican drug cartel… I mean… Mexican Weight Watchers clinic. Tub-Butt is going to have so much fun down there she may never come back!
That defines “thick in the britches”.