According to court filings, former Denver/Tennessee/Buffalo running back Travis Henry intends to plead guilty to federal drug charges. Henry, you may recall, was arrested last September and charged with cocaine possession and conspiracy to distribute. Apparently, Henry and his co-defendant intended to sell to buyers in Billings, Montana… yes, Billings Effing Montana.
According to the most recent census figures, 0.6% of the Billings’ population is African-American. So obviously, this would be the ideal locale for a hulking, well-known athlete with a history of drug use to ply his clandestine trade. Knowing all this, it makes it easier to comprehend how Henry could be lunk-headed enough to father 11 children by ten women.
However, the silver-lining to this tale of woe is that Henry—after pissing away a multi-million dollar career—once again has a source of income to provide for all his little bundles of joy. Federal prisoners can earn twelve cents an hour for their labors. That’s a cool $238 per annum. So now Trav can rest easy knowing the kiddos are set– unless of course you can’t feed, diaper, clothe, shelter and educate a kid for $19.85 a year per head.
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Man, I’ve never seen him so down. Or ever before.
forget the snuggie.
what’s he gonna be able to bargain down the sham-wow guy to so he can get his tribe a remunerative gig at the car-wash?
it’s a shame the spank-the-skank charge isn’t federal, else karma would dictate these two sterling citizens would wind up cellmates.
here’s to awaiting the 2nd obama administration when we achieve a perfect world.
Travis Henry has made 11 huge tiny mistakes….
I suggest that rather than paying good money to send his dumb ass to federal prison, we give him the opportunity to do a kind of work release: star in a new reality show called “Ow, My Balls.” Two birds with one stone, so to speak.
Is it me or should there be a tag for the picture that says “Radio”? Look at his face!
“How To Plead Guilty” will highlight the afternoon session of Travis Henry’s NFL rookie symposium speech.
My figures are based on the seven-hour work day found at Title 28, Sect. 545.24 of the Code of Federal Regulations. Yes, I actually looked it up for the sake of verisimilitude.
C’mon, let’s suck the fun right out of this post.
I don’t want to get all mathy on ya, but .12 per hour at 8 hours a day is $244.80 a year (with weekends off).
Arghhh, damn you Indian brain…
If he can bargain for $.13/hourly then each kid can get a Snuggie.
@ FearTheBuzzsaw
+ 19.95. Well done, good sir!
Plead guilty to what? To being an uneducated dumb shithead?
Oh, the drug charges thing.
Well, at least in prison he won’t be getting anyone pregnant.
I’m patiently waiting for the mailbag.
http://yfrog.com/0mtraviseyesj
…and since Travis Henry apparently spends a lot of time in motels, he thinks coffee is free.
Travis Henry watches TV. Travis Henry knows that you can feed and clothe a child for just the price of a cup of coffee every day.
“So now Trav can rest easy knowing the kiddos are set– unless of course you can’t feed, diaper, clothe, shelter and educate a kid for $19.85 a year per head.”
If he can bargain for $.13/hourly then each kid can get a Snuggie.
“So now Trav can rest easy knowing the kiddos are set– unless of course you can’t feed, diaper, clothe, shelter and educate a kid for $19.85 a year per head.”
The Octo-Mom wonders why that came out sounding sarcastic?
Henry will still find a way to impregnate someone…mark my words
@NNV, maybe she had twins. In any event, the “terrible person” tag is missing from this post
Who’s the dumb bitch what had two babies with Travis?
Let’s see… seven cents a day * 365 days = $25.55 per year.
Sally Struthers thinks that Travis Henry is fucked.
It’s nickname is “The Magic City”. GAY.
it makes it easier to comprehend how Henry could be lunk-headed enough to father 11 children by ten women
I feel like this number grows every time I read some variation of this story. Didn’t it start out as 9 children by 9 different women?
I don’t know why everyone is shocked they intended to sell drugs to buyers in Billings. What the fuck else is there to do in Billings?
@Hammer: matt jones disagrees.
Billings – Ah yes, no wonder so many Bostonians want to move there.
If black people make up only .06 percent of the Billings population, then who was Henry going to sell these drugs to, anyway? White people certainly don’t snort cocaine, do they?
He looks relieved.