Good news for Travis Henry’s little bastards: Daddy’s gonna plead guilty
According to court filings, former Denver/Tennessee/Buffalo running back Travis Henry intends to plead guilty to federal drug charges. Henry, you may recall, was arrested last September and charged with cocaine possession and conspiracy to distribute. Apparently, Henry and his co-defendant intended to sell to buyers in Billings, Montana… yes, Billings Effing Montana.
According to the most recent census figures, 0.6% of the Billings’ population is African-American. So obviously, this would be the ideal locale for a hulking, well-known athlete with a history of drug use to ply his clandestine trade. Knowing all this, it makes it easier to comprehend how Henry could be lunk-headed enough to father 11 children by ten women.
However, the silver-lining to this tale of woe is that Henry—after pissing away a multi-million dollar career—once again has a source of income to provide for all his little bundles of joy. Federal prisoners can earn twelve cents an hour for their labors. That’s a cool $238 per annum. So now Trav can rest easy knowing the kiddos are set– unless of course you can’t feed, diaper, clothe, shelter and educate a kid for $19.85 a year per head.
Tags: even shawn kemp thinks this is a bit much, More good news: plenty of sex in the cooler and no one will get knocked up, travis henry
April 2nd, 2009 at 1:35 pm
He looks relieved.
April 2nd, 2009 at 1:37 pm
If black people make up only .06 percent of the Billings population, then who was Henry going to sell these drugs to, anyway? White people certainly don’t snort cocaine, do they?
April 2nd, 2009 at 1:40 pm
Billings – Ah yes, no wonder so many Bostonians want to move there.
April 2nd, 2009 at 1:42 pm
@Hammer: matt jones disagrees.
April 2nd, 2009 at 1:43 pm
I don’t know why everyone is shocked they intended to sell drugs to buyers in Billings. What the fuck else is there to do in Billings?
April 2nd, 2009 at 1:48 pm
it makes it easier to comprehend how Henry could be lunk-headed enough to father 11 children by ten women
I feel like this number grows every time I read some variation of this story. Didn’t it start out as 9 children by 9 different women?
April 2nd, 2009 at 1:48 pm
It’s nickname is “The Magic City”. GAY.
April 2nd, 2009 at 1:53 pm
Let’s see… seven cents a day * 365 days = $25.55 per year.
Sally Struthers thinks that Travis Henry is fucked.
April 2nd, 2009 at 2:04 pm
Who’s the dumb bitch what had two babies with Travis?
April 2nd, 2009 at 2:09 pm
@NNV, maybe she had twins. In any event, the “terrible person” tag is missing from this post
April 2nd, 2009 at 2:21 pm
Henry will still find a way to impregnate someone…mark my words
April 2nd, 2009 at 2:28 pm
“So now Trav can rest easy knowing the kiddos are set– unless of course you can’t feed, diaper, clothe, shelter and educate a kid for $19.85 a year per head.”
The Octo-Mom wonders why that came out sounding sarcastic?
April 2nd, 2009 at 2:38 pm
“So now Trav can rest easy knowing the kiddos are set– unless of course you can’t feed, diaper, clothe, shelter and educate a kid for $19.85 a year per head.”
If he can bargain for $.13/hourly then each kid can get a Snuggie.
April 2nd, 2009 at 2:42 pm
Travis Henry watches TV. Travis Henry knows that you can feed and clothe a child for just the price of a cup of coffee every day.
April 2nd, 2009 at 2:59 pm
…and since Travis Henry apparently spends a lot of time in motels, he thinks coffee is free.
April 2nd, 2009 at 2:59 pm
http://yfrog.com/0mtraviseyesj
April 2nd, 2009 at 3:08 pm
I’m patiently waiting for the mailbag.
April 2nd, 2009 at 3:28 pm
Plead guilty to what? To being an uneducated dumb shithead?
Oh, the drug charges thing.
Well, at least in prison he won’t be getting anyone pregnant.
April 2nd, 2009 at 3:30 pm
If he can bargain for $.13/hourly then each kid can get a Snuggie.
@ FearTheBuzzsaw
+ 19.95. Well done, good sir!
April 2nd, 2009 at 3:33 pm
I don’t want to get all mathy on ya, but .12 per hour at 8 hours a day is $244.80 a year (with weekends off).
Arghhh, damn you Indian brain…
April 2nd, 2009 at 3:53 pm
My figures are based on the seven-hour work day found at Title 28, Sect. 545.24 of the Code of Federal Regulations. Yes, I actually looked it up for the sake of verisimilitude.
C’mon, let’s suck the fun right out of this post.
April 2nd, 2009 at 4:16 pm
“How To Plead Guilty” will highlight the afternoon session of Travis Henry’s NFL rookie symposium speech.
April 2nd, 2009 at 4:27 pm
Is it me or should there be a tag for the picture that says “Radio”? Look at his face!
April 2nd, 2009 at 5:10 pm
I suggest that rather than paying good money to send his dumb ass to federal prison, we give him the opportunity to do a kind of work release: star in a new reality show called “Ow, My Balls.” Two birds with one stone, so to speak.
April 2nd, 2009 at 10:43 pm
Travis Henry has made 11 huge tiny mistakes….
April 3rd, 2009 at 1:47 am
forget the snuggie.
what’s he gonna be able to bargain down the sham-wow guy to so he can get his tribe a remunerative gig at the car-wash?
it’s a shame the spank-the-skank charge isn’t federal, else karma would dictate these two sterling citizens would wind up cellmates.
here’s to awaiting the 2nd obama administration when we achieve a perfect world.
April 3rd, 2009 at 10:49 am
Man, I’ve never seen him so down. Or ever before.