Curses! EA Sports Unveils Its Long-Haired CoverHippies
Electronic Arts tried to keep the new Madden in the conversation for an extra blogcycle a few days ago by claiming that there were nine “finalists” for the cover of the Madden ‘10 game (which included Matt Cassel for some reason), when really it turned out to be the duo that the Arizona Republic reported a few weeks back. And yeah yeah, it’s the first time more than one player has appeared on the cover and a plague will befall both these men by the next sunfall. Really, I just wish they’d let you hit people after the play again. But I guess they’re saving that for when they stick Terrell Suggs on the front.
But what special features can we expect with the programmers tailoring the game to these two? Other than extensive hair care ads to be prominently displayed, of course.
POLAMALU:
FITZGERALD:
Tags: fanboygasm, polamalu island, video games, xmas ape
April 24th, 2009 at 10:13 am
As good as Polamalu is, he cannot hold Fitzgerald’s jock. I cannot believe an EA spokesman said that one of the biggest things that people were asking for is the addition of towels for the QB. Seriously?
April 24th, 2009 at 10:14 am
Best safety in the game? He sucks!
April 24th, 2009 at 10:15 am
Did they incorporate the new ‘can’t hit the QB from the ground’ rule? Owah videogame quahtahback is moah valuable than youah videogame quahtahback! NO ONE DENIES THIS!!
April 24th, 2009 at 10:17 am
Ape, Polamalu is a monster. Polamalu, Ed Reed and Adrian Wilson are the best in the game. Hands-down. B-Dawk WAS the best but he is old now.
/Birds still should have kept him you fat fuck.
April 24th, 2009 at 10:24 am
But who’s on the cover of Collinsworth ‘10?
April 24th, 2009 at 10:26 am
I’m sure Fitty is taking this news well
April 24th, 2009 at 10:26 am
CVE, comment better and comment less often, or else I swear to God you will get the clint treatment.
April 24th, 2009 at 10:26 am
But who’s on the cover of Collinsworth ‘10?
Bryant Gumbel
April 24th, 2009 at 10:32 am
Actually, I heard it’s Bryant and Greg, reviving their classic roles in “Gumbel 2 Gumbel”
April 24th, 2009 at 10:37 am
Did Drew just threaten with the banhammer? Did we get Jezebel in our KSK this morning or something?
April 24th, 2009 at 10:42 am
Steelers suck Dick. especially Polamalu. and Roethlisberger. and Ward. and even Cowher too, fuck it. that that retard looking prick. and i heard Bettis died of a blood clot, or choked on a ham sandwhich. whichever is funnier..
April 24th, 2009 at 10:42 am
Cassell is going to bust so bad next year, he’d be the perfect choice for Madden cover.
April 24th, 2009 at 10:43 am
Mentioning the name of Clint here is never a good thing.
April 24th, 2009 at 10:47 am
“Poramaru, how dale you stab numba one leceivel teammate in back by going on Madden covel wis Rally Fitz! Hines Wald nevel get on Madden covel…plobabry picked by Japanese asswhore.”
April 24th, 2009 at 10:47 am
So will they be swapping Coke Zero and Ritz crackers during the game? No? EA’s not getting one red cent from me until they do.
BRING ON THE DRAFT! YEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH
April 24th, 2009 at 10:49 am
OfI am unaware of this Clint person. I’m missing out on something I guess.
/dick joke
April 24th, 2009 at 10:51 am
Steelers suck Dick. especially Polamalu. and Roethlisberger. and Ward. and even Cowher too, fuck it. that that retard looking prick. and i heard Bettis died of a blood clot, or choked on a ham sandwhich. whichever is funnier..
Actually, I did laugh at that. Hissy fits are fun.
April 24th, 2009 at 10:53 am
I would have sex with that video game cover.
April 24th, 2009 at 10:56 am
have fun masturbating, FMRA.
April 24th, 2009 at 10:58 am
@FMRA
Are you prepared for Ape’s sloppy seconds?
April 24th, 2009 at 11:00 am
@fmra, be careful. Square pegs and round holes don’t go together too well.
April 24th, 2009 at 11:02 am
@CVE:
Correction. Best safeties in the game: Troy Polamalu, Ed Reed, and Bob Sanders.
You best correct yourself before Bob eats your family. And he will. I’ve seen it happen. BECAUSE THAT’S DISRESPECT. FIX YO ARBITRARY SAFETY CHOICES.
In related news, Colts fans continue to celebrate “Not The Madden Cover Guy Day”, the annual tradition where somehow, Colts management keeps Peyton & Co. off the cursed cover for another year. At this point, we think it’s being worked into everyone’s contract. Either way, we’re good.
April 24th, 2009 at 11:08 am
@Monkey Business: I was unaware that Bob Sanders plays football. I was under the impression his existence was merely hypothetical, as in “The Colts’ defense would be so much better if Bob Sanders could actually be on the field.”
And no worries about the Madden snub. Marvin Harrison is up for the next first person shooter to come down the line.
April 24th, 2009 at 11:19 am
Yes, it’s the visionary Colts management that has kept their players off the cover and not EA Sports thinking, “Well, Peyton whores every other product under the sun so maybe we should keep him off the game in hopes of being a little distinctive.”
April 24th, 2009 at 11:20 am
And Dungy was on the cover of the EA Head Coach game last year. HOW DID THAT ONE ESCAPE THE COLTS MANAGEMENT!?
April 24th, 2009 at 11:24 am
Just keep Adrian Peterson off the cover forever, and consider me a happy (and superstitious) dude.
April 24th, 2009 at 11:33 am
And Dungy was on the cover of the EA Head Coach game last year. HOW DID THAT ONE ESCAPE THE COLTS MANAGEMENT!?
Because they went through his agent, Jesus H. Christ.
April 24th, 2009 at 11:36 am
So when Troy inevitably misses a few games because of a knee sprain/concussion as he usually does, do we get to cry about the curse? I’m sorry but this is all new to me.
Completely unrelated, has anyone else noticed that the Craigslist Killer is from Quincy? OWWUH SOCIOPATHS WHO USE ANAWNIMISS AWNLINE MEANS TO ROB ANDUH MUHHDUHH HOOKAHS ARE-AH BETTAH THAN YOURAH SOCIOPATHS! NO ONE DENIES THIS!
April 24th, 2009 at 11:37 am
Bellichick knows who’s going to be on the cover before EA does.
April 24th, 2009 at 11:38 am
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
April 24th, 2009 at 11:40 am
Because they went through his agent, Jesus H. Christ.
Way to miss the joke. Jeethus Crythst.
April 24th, 2009 at 11:50 am
@85: BA-ZING!!
Perhaps Marvin, Stallworth, and e.e. crunkings will headline the next GTA game.
/still laughs hysterically every time commentator says that Marshawn Lynch “trucked” or “ran over” a defensive player
April 24th, 2009 at 12:12 pm
@85: That actually would be pretty funny /sadistic Colts fan
April 24th, 2009 at 8:28 pm
If they were going with a SB43 theme, they should have put the back judge on there looking away from the players.
April 25th, 2009 at 12:19 am
@TDub
Peterson was offered the cover this year and turned it down.
April 27th, 2009 at 10:42 am
I miss the old days when you could hit players after the play AND you could lateral the fucking ball. That was great. Oh wait, I forgot, laterals aren’t allowed in football……
Listen EA, if I want to pull some dumb Ed Reed bullshit, you better get out of the way and let me have my fun. I know they never do, but they CAN and I WOULD.