After the runaway success of Marty B’s blog post on ladyfarts, a few readers noticed a subsequent entry in which he proclaims the tight end combo of he and Jason Witten to be “Rice and Beans.” Well, they weren’t the only ones. Execs in the television industry were piqued with the possibilities of a serial cop drama.
Coming this fall to FOX, following the two-hour block of Cops on Saturday night:
Jason Witten is… KENNY ARROZ!
Martellus Bennett is… JEROME FRIJOLES!
Together they are:
Set in the crime hotbed that is Dallas (actually filmed in Oklahoma City to save money)
Archived footage of the late Tex Schramm as…THE CHIEF!
“Listen here, Rice and Beans, I know you get results, but I’ve had it up to here with your unorthodox tactics. You scared Miles Austin halfway to death!”
Ed Werder is … THE MOLE!
“C’mon Rice. You know the department loves you. What’s a little info just this once?”
Tony Romo is… VICE SQUAD DETECTIVE ALEJANDRO!
“I am only in drag to ceetch dees perverts!”
Marion Barber is … MARION BARBER!
“Whatever. Just came to this show for the groupie ass. I don’t play no bitch-ass characters.”
This fall, RICE & BEANS. They’re gonna serve up a platter…OF ASS WHIPPINGS!
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As we have been discussing the subject as lot as of lately, I felt this was a great follow-up
I’m excited for the first Gay Zorro episode
This made my day. You should see Martellus’s Twitter. It just gets better and better.
@OJ Incandenza – true story.
I can’t wait for the episode entitled “The Dallas Queefer Has Beans and Rice Up Her Ass”
They can’t film in Dallas anyway, everyone would think the show was set in Detroit.
“I don’t play no bitch-ass characters”
+3
(groupie ass shatters into 3,000 very small pieces)
that video was amazing. good work ape
i gotta tell ya. i hate the cowboys with every inch of my being… but i LOVED this.
Do these guys have powers, like on “Heroes”? Or can Witten actually put his hand through Marty B’s forearm?
The best TV appearance by a Cowboy was made by Ed “Too Tall” Jones on “Diff’rent Strokes”. He saved Arnold’s life, but could not save Kimberley and Willis.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=34DdOIaKyR8
“Arnold, have you lost your frijoles?”
/cue banjo
+1 Gino.
FUCK and YES
I applaud any post that includes an extended clip of the Beastie Boys’ “Sabotage” video. Thank you good sirs.
I heard that Wade ‘n’ Jerry have a hillbilly variety show on CMT.
Wade: I caught my wife in bed with another man
Jerry: You bitter?
Wade: Yeah. Bit him, too.
/cue banjo
Besides Wade’s already got his own series with Yeehaw double J
“What about Wade Phillips as the fat lazy detective who gets pissed all over and no one gives a shit about?”
Big stretch from his real life job as the fat lazy head coach who gets pissed all over and no one gives a shit about.
IN COLOR!
What about Wade Phillips as the fat lazy detective who gets pissed all over and no one gives a shit about?
With Emmitt Smith as Scoey Bear The Jive-Talking Street Informant
Oh sure, make Marion Barber play the part of the street wise pimp who gives Rice & Beans the word on the street.
That’s vely lacist!
We can call him HUGGY bar-BEAR-ian.
/Hates self for being so damn lacist.
The fuck is this? Dallas Cowboys on the side of law and order? No wonder they don’t win shit anymore.
Site admin, please block all access requests coming from anyone with a fox.com IP address. You just know some Fox monkey is going to read this and think “KA-CHING!”
something something Big Lebowksi
i still prefer the mexican crime-fighting duo known (in my head, anyway) as “Spic ‘n’ Span”.
Now they need a video with Huff and Doback
Can’t wait for the episode where Witten gets electrocuted…cue Hines Ward cameo: “Who flied lice now gaijin???”