TITANS INK SPAWN OF MORTENSEN. In a story fittingly reported by someone other than ESPN, the Titans have signed Chris Mortensen’s son, quarterback Alex Mortensen, who will undoubtedly be beaten out for a practice squad gig by Jay Glazer’s daughter, Adam Schefter’s dog and Internet Reports III. Had only the Titans held onto Chris Simms, they could have had the offspring of everyone ruining football on TV. [PFT]
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Source Tells ESPN’s Chris Mortensen Majority of Titans Are ‘Bunch of Dumb Stupid Fartface Bullies’ — http://tinyurl.com/deocuw
I think Peter King’s daughter should be reporting about all of this.
Otto Man=Gem
The whole sequence at the end of the draft when they brought up the young Mort was just awkward and bizarre. There was one guy (I forget who) going on and on about the young Mort’s footwork and arm strength and blah blah. Then Kiper pissed all over that and said he should get into coaching, because let’s face it, Chris, your kid’s a shitty quarterback. And then elder Mort could interview his coach-son on draft day! “Dad, you reported that incorrect rumor about me again, goddammit.”
Young Mort reports to camp, then repots to his dad’s basement.
+1 to Otto
“Mel, my sources tell me he’s got a strong arm and good decision making, but wet the bet until he was 12.”
My sources tell me he sucks balls.
Off Topic – Check out the new Manchester Orchestra CD. Kicks major ass.
http://www.metacafe.com/watch/sy-19498814001/manchester_orchestra_ive_got_friends_official_music_video/
it was b a b a
/loved him some Contra
Off Topic: Remember the old code? arrow keys: up up down down left right left righ (letters) b a?
Go to ESPN.com and try it out now!
/kind of gay
In response, Isiah Thomas just announced that Bill Cosby’s son Enis signed a letter of intent.
Lemme guess, Mort got scooped on the signing by Yahoo News, didn’t he?
Simms, dammit, Simms. Calling him Sims brings up shit like http://www.artnet.com/artist/15613/phil-sims.html, “Hey, Blue, how Avant Garde”. Having said that, I thoroughly expect someone to chime in about how his paintings are worth a billion apiece.
Hey, Hey, his son may suck CFL moose cock (I don’t think so , having a spleen removed MIGHT slow you down) but St. Phil of Sims still rates around here!
Otto Man
The Titans wanted to sign Stu Scott’s son as well, but they just couldn’t see eye to eye on a contract.
Bravo, sir, Bravo. You are a gentleman and a scholar.
Which is gayer: Playing Angel in Rent, or referencing Rent in any way, shape or form?
I hear Kornheiser has a college-age son too…
I look forward to when Mike Greenberg’s son is old enough to get his shot at the role of Angel in “Rent.”
A player nobody knew about or rated way down the list of potential draftees, and the Raiders didn’t jump all over him in the 3rd round? Count Al must be losing his touch,
Roger Goodell’s Dad Charles was a Repulican Senator from New York. I hear Eliot Spitzer’s son films and analyzes players’ showering techniques.
Mortensen’s son gave Glazer the news first.
The Titans wanted to sign Stu Scott’s son as well, but they just couldn’t see eye to eye on a contract.
I hope Matt Millen doesn’t have any kids- not just for the sake of football on TV, but for the sake of humanity.
“Kiper basically said that the younger Mortensen should get into coaching. The elder Mort was, we’re told, shocked by the candor.”
In Mort’s defense, he very rarely encounters the truth, so it often comes as a surprise to him.
Will Chris Berman’s kid announce his games and come up with lame nicknames?
They tried to lock up Berman’s drug mule, but he’s still under investigation by Customs officials.