OOH, LOOGIT! IT’S A SPECIAL NFL DRAFT JAMBOROO! Ready for your digestion right here. Featuring Mastodon, Genesee, naked Jessica Biel, Sidney Poitier, Nazi shark, Robert Evans, and a host of others. Join me, won’t you? It’s something to do while your wife does her time at Riker’s.
Tags: quick hits, THE LAST BARON KICKS ASS AND IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT YOU ARE GAY
April 23rd, 2009 at 2:37 pm
An album that makes Drew want to run through a goddamn brick wall! or just write a Twitter entry about it…
April 23rd, 2009 at 2:47 pm
You know who also likes Mastodon? The guys in CKY. Call me when you discover The Sword.
April 23rd, 2009 at 2:49 pm
Mastodon makes the Sword sound like the fucking Carpenters. Can it, Klosterman.
April 23rd, 2009 at 3:02 pm
Mastodon defines clutch. Now, where can I get some acid?
April 23rd, 2009 at 3:14 pm
Needs more Rolf.
April 23rd, 2009 at 3:34 pm
I haven’t seen “Shoot to Kill” since it was a new release on VHS and Kirsty Alley was considered hot, but I do remember the grizzly bear scene with Tom Berenger and Sydney Poitier. Thanks to that YouTube clip, now I know how reenact it in Dutch.
I also haven’t seen “Sneakers” since it was at the cineplex in the early ’90s, but I do remember that their US Government-guaranteed demands at the end were weak. A trip to Europe? A Winnebago? A chick’s phone number? Gay. I would have demanded a lifetime supply of Super Secret USDA-produced Mega Weed, mushrooms and CIA-made acid.
Thanks for getting me to think too much about obscure, stupid movies, dick.
April 23rd, 2009 at 4:12 pm
THE LAST BARON KICKS ASS AND IF YOU DON’T LIKE IT YOU ARE GAY
That’s the same take Rolling Stone had on it.
April 23rd, 2009 at 4:15 pm
The Czar is killing me at the moment.
April 23rd, 2009 at 4:45 pm
I heard this “Heavy Metal” music leads to Dungeons & Dragons-related murder/suicides.
April 23rd, 2009 at 5:05 pm
Heeeeeelp! My nuts have blisters!
April 23rd, 2009 at 5:07 pm
Drew, i’m going a little gay for you now. Love this band (and this album). Playing the 9 30 club in a few weeks. On the other hand, The Sword are almost equally as awesome.
April 23rd, 2009 at 5:43 pm
KSK is spitting hot fire this week. Well done, Drew.
/ashamed I had to look up “fallow”
April 23rd, 2009 at 6:43 pm
Oblivion’s the best song on the album. If you disagree with me, you’re wrong.
April 23rd, 2009 at 6:46 pm
The new Mastodon fucking owns. Meshuggah’s new one ain’t bad either. The Red Chord is in the Studio. This gonna be a good year for metal.
April 23rd, 2009 at 7:15 pm
Last Sunday I saw Mastodon play at the great american music hall in sf. I weaseled through the mosh pit to get to 3rd row center. Jesus Christ, do those guys rock live. My only regret is that I did not buy the tour t-shirt.
April 23rd, 2009 at 8:21 pm
Who’s Klosterman?
April 23rd, 2009 at 11:26 pm
I used to browse around this massive local record store in Denver called Twist n Shout. They had a big ass book where all the employees, who seemed to number in the hundreds, would talk about the new shit they liked. I’d say about 75% of them had Leviathan in there. So I bought it, and it scared me when I heard it the first time. That drummer will die soon, but it won’t be from drugs, it will be from tearing the shit out of the drums until he has a heart attack.
April 23rd, 2009 at 11:32 pm
I know this guy, and he told me his brother’s friend’s drug dealer was just chilling out and hanging one night when all of a sudden, the cops started chasing him. So he took all the acid he had and stuffed it in his sock, so they wouldn’t find it if they caught him. But it was hot as shit that day, and he was sweating like crazy from running from the 5.0, and the sweat made all the acid bleed into him. The last thing he saw before the acid hit him was a billboard for orange juice. He got so fucked up and overdosed on acid. Now, he’s in a mental hospital, in a straight jacket, because he thinks he’s an orange and keeps trying to peel himself.
April 24th, 2009 at 1:15 pm
Keep in mind, nothing about Cutler as a football player had inherently changed in that time. Only the circumstances around him had shifted. And now Broncos fans are supposed to buy that somehow Kyle Orton is a better fit for the team than Cutler was? I hate taking the Simmons attitude of “Every GM is every league is a retard and I’m the only person who has any common sense,” but that trade will always strike me as one of the most fucking bizarre moves in NFL history.
Everytime I convince myself that Orton will do alright, I read shit like this and go back to dreaming of killing Josh McDaniels.