The Peter King Twitter Is Here, And It Defines Clutch. Folks, I’m happy to report after a full week of intensive tutoring, Peter King has finally opened up his own Twitter account. My favorite entry thus far: Have a good day. Off to run some errands. Hey, thanks to Karen Dmochowsky and Sam Farmer for making Twitter sound not so intimidating. 8:34 AM Apr 18th from web. Yes, it took not one, but TWO people to help Peter open his Twitter account. Please note that is two more people than the average person requires to open a Twitter account. Then again, I can see how daunting it might be to click a GET STARTED button, then to enter a name, email, password, and username, followed by retyping an odd phrase into a word verification box. “ANOINTS THE”? This Twitter stuff is crazy! WHERE DO I GO TO FOLLOW TOONE P. WIGGINS?!
Thanks to Johnny for the link.
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/global/images/default-avatar.jpg){kind=avatar}
Hello, just browsing for information for my Crocs website. Lots of information out there. Not quite what i was looking for, but nice site. Have a nice day.
Karen Dmochowsky and Sam Farmer define clutch.
This joint defines clutch. 4:20 PM April 20th from the web
I beat the smart kids! I beat the smart kids! 1:06 PM April 20th from the web
Redskins smitten with Sanchez. Is he the new Brett? Never. Updated 12:24 PM April 20th from the Web
@MitchPuin Neat, Thanks! And no they don’t look too tight on you. I think they’re just right. 12:18 PM April 20th from web
Things I think I think: Is it possible to have a custom-made blowup doll produced? 12:20 PM April 20th from the Web
My cat’s name is Mittens. 12:15 PM April 20th from web
I met a leprechaun in my sandbox. He told me to burn things. 12:02 PM April 20th from web
Visited Jack Bowers today. His tapioca pudding was VERY lumpy. Lenox Hill hospital, DO BETTER! 11:55 AM April 20th from web
Can I follow myself on here? 11:45 AM from the web
HELLO INTERNET 11:39 AM April 20th from web.
Karen? sam? are you theer? i need help with again. 11:16 PM from web
Favre smells like dead bunnies. 11:35 AM April 20th from mouth
Sibling Rivalry caved to my whims. That’s why my last name is King. 11:34 Am April 20 from Blackberry
Monday nights with Matt Millen? Sign me up!!!! 11:27 AM April 20th from web.
My asshole hurts. 1:11 AM April 20th from FavreDungeon.
@Pacman’s Bodyguard: “I talked to Jeff Fisher and he said, ‘Look, I coach in the same division as the Jaguars, so I am privy to all of their trade talk…’”
I’m sorry for Dr Z, but this is what happens when you don’t respect the sun 11:25 AM Apr 20th from web
“By the way, I don’t buy Torry Holt locked in with Jacksonville. You’ll have to tell Jeff Fisher, who doesn’t believe that.about 2 hours ago from web ”
Good reference error. Lofty reference error.
PETAH KING DOESN’T NEED GRAMMAAAAH!
4378-2132-9001-8883 05/2010 11:15 AM April 20th from web.
@KingLaserface tried that thing you were gloating about and ripped my taint. Off to the ER. 3:34 AM April 20th from the web.
Sometimes when I’m scared, I long for the warmth and safety of my mother’s dynastic womb 11:13 AM Apr 20th from web.
These rubber pants are hot. 11:12 AM April 20th from web
@FearTheBuzzsaw:
I’m with you. It’s the only rational explanation.
Moon pie? What a time to be alive. 11:01 AM Apr 20th from Kwik-E-Mart.
Biff embarrassed me in front of Brett for the last time! 11:00AM from the web.
test 10:59 AM Apr 20th from web.
Anyone got any quarters? Monday, April 20, 9:14 a.m. from a pay phone outside a seedy adult video store.
And that’s how I got crabs. 10:45 PM from Mac airbook
Steve Gelderson on 6th Street, you’re dead to me. You know what you did. 10:26 AM April 20 from web
Having diarrhea isn’t all bad. In a pinch it makes for a great lubricant. Diarrhea defines clutch. 1:36 AM from last stall at Mass Pike restroom
Then, the doctor told me that BOTH my eyes were lazy! And that’s why it was the best summer ever. 10:24 AM April 20th from web
Finally got my coffee. Tipped barista 35 cents. Feel good about helping the economy.
10:16 AM from line at cofee house
“Just talked with Mark Sanchez. Dedicated lad. Worked out at his old high school tonight. Will go to class all week at USC. More in MMQB.”
Wait. Peter King worked out at Mark Sanchez’ old high school and plans on attending classes at USC this week?
You know those “tip” jars at Starbucks? Turns out they don’t mean “take-a-penny, leave a penny.” The baristas want extra money. What a count
10:13 AM from jail
And when the doctor said I didn’t have worms anymore, that was the happiest day of my life.
10:08 AM from doctor’s waiting room
Fantasy football means something entirely different for me. 9:32 AM April 20 from Brett’s closet
The doctor said I wouldn’t have so many nose bleeds if I kept my finger out of there. 9:40 AM April 20th from web
Me fail English? That’s unpossible. 9:32 AM April 20 from the john
Watching home videos of Brett working the land. Time for a new cum sock! 3:29 AM April 20 from the web
At first I was skeptical, but these crocs are amazing! 9:32 AMApr 20th from web.
It’s Hitler’s birthday today, I think I’m going to namedrop that into my column today. Dr.Z…iek heil! 9:30 AM April 20th from my blackberry
Big Daddy Balls is a meanie! I’ll show him one of these days. 9:29 AM April 20 from the web
Brett Favre tells me to burn things 9:24 AM April 20 from the voices in my head
You choo-choo-choose me!
9:22 AM April 20 from my dreams
Dr. Z, I got car sick in your office. 9:21 AM April 20th from web
Oh boy, sleep! That’s where I’m a viking! 9:19 AM April 20th from web
/jealous of the guy who beat me to Go banana!
My bowels are now empty.
9:16 April 20th from Blackberry
GO BANANA! 9:15 AM April 20th from the web
I dunno, the mental picture of Oprah beating Peter is kind’ve appealing.
Do you like … stuff? 9:11 AM April 20th from web
I can haz favreburger? 9:07 AM April 20th from web
Auctioning off breakfast with me and Brett Favre – condor egg omelets on the menu – to benefit getting a solid gold foot massager for Zim. Watch me give #4 a handjob with my mouth.
8:59 AM April 20th from web
Look in the tunk. 9:02 AM April 20th from Favre’s anus.
The end is nigh
Can I get my grande triple hazelnut with cream to go then?
8:51 AM April 20th from web
I still contend that the whole Toone P. Wiggins thing is nothing but a bunch of people fucking with PK.
I am convinced they remodeled an abandoned warehouse and set up a fake restaurant then served him a TV dinner and Folgers just to see if he would gush about the restaurant if they pandered to him enough.
You can not convince me otherwise.
It’s the only rational explanation. There can’t really be anyone named Toone P. Wiggins, can there? This isn’t 1910 is it?
I ated the purple berries. They taste like … burning. 8:19 AM April 20th from web
When I grow up, I’m going to bovine university! 8:08 AM April 20th from web
@toonepwiggins Can I place an order through this thing?
2:30 AM April 21 from bed
uh, oh, my heart stopped. There it goes.
7:59 AM April 20th from web
“All You Can Eat” is such a cocktease. Of course it’s not all you can EVER eat. But they make you leave anyway. 8:15 AM Apr 20th from web
I went into a restaurant and ate everything in the restaurant and they had to close the restaurant. 7:50 AM Apr 20th from web.
I bent my wookie! 9:14 PM Apr 19th from web.
Working the Land…’s End butter tub with an extra large knife. 11:30 PM Apr 19 from web
props for one of the better tag combos i’ve ever seen.
Sitting down to bang out Monday Morning QB. Have a good night.
no homo.
I glued my head to my shoulder, now i have two owies. 9:14 PM Apr 19th from web.
Sitting down to bang out Monday Morning QB. Have a good night.
Good night. Lofty night.
My cat’s breath smells like cat food. 9:14 PM Apr 19th from web.
Because I just can’t wait until Monday to get his bullshit.
Wouldn’t it be great if his columns just turned into highlights from the week in Twitter?
The lessons on Twitter could have been on how to properly whore for SI, which he seems to have taken to very quickly. Peter, don’t you realize I don’t care about your articles, I just want to know what restaurant you are going to slander today.
Please Please let there be a BDD version of Peter King’s twitter!