Let hopeless losers solve all your problems: Submit your fantasy (sex and football) questions tonight for tomorrow’s mailbag. Send emails here. As always, we’ll favor the inquiries that seem realistic and don’t prattle on for several paragraphs.
TAGS: quick hits


“You can imagine where it goes from here.”
“He fixes the cable?”
/Lebowski’d
What if it’s realisitc, but unavoidably lengthy? I say favor a longer e-mail that actually deals with a real question, not another anal question that happens to be 3 sentences.
/hoping my long e-mail is answered
“I work for Orkin in suburban DC. I met this hot ex-NFL cheerleader on a wasp killing outcall and…”
Ooo, my favorite, pest control porn!
“You called? I hear you have an … infestation.”
Actually that’s not sexy at all.
Who’s Jill Allison?
“I work for Orkin in suburban DC. I met this hot ex-NFL cheerleader on a wasp killing outcall and…”
All I want is regular sex in the missionary position.
“My girlfriend wants to try anal.” “This 9 out of 10 at work wants to get with me.” “My wife suggested a threesome.”
None of these are realistic. Not that it matters.
Christ, what an asshole.*
*in case Michael posts