DOLPHINS TURN BACK RAIDERS! 4 realz this time! Thousands of dolphins blocked the Somali pirates from attacking Chinese merchant ships, thus solving yet another of the “Who Would Win?” scenarios among the NFL mascots. FIX YO PIRACY!
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FMRA talks like Jason Garrett
Of course she does. They both attended Clown College, right?
The league can’t much control how the divisional match-ups rotate from year to year. They’re set automatically.
No shit. Here’s how it works, HC Prick and Leigh: Each team plays all three teams in its division twice (6 games), a game against each team in one NFC division that rotates every year (4 games), a game against each team in one AFC division that rotates every year (4 games), a game against one team each in the remaining two NFC divisions that finished in the same ranking in that division (2 games). The NFL only has a say on the order of the schedule.
FMRA talks like Jason Garrett
And the Saints have 3 primetime games at home, including a Saturday nighter against Dallas.
Geaux Saints.
Plus, we get to open the season against Detroit. Thanks, Herr Goodell.
I think either Ape forgot to call FMRA aftetwards, or more likely, called every 15 minutes the next day.
Either way, a good PoFlaWa is needed to help pass the time.
Cowboys have 6 primetime games. FUCK YOUR TVS, AMERICA.
/yeehaw
//fucking crazy
I guess FMRA didn’t get Ape to like her yet.
/has new desktop background
Hey Ape, I would like your advice on proper shit talk to Ravens fans. I’m looking at week 6 when they visit my boys in the Metrodome.
They took urrr puurrple!
Setting up the roadtrip as we speak.
Leigh, HC Prick:
The same thing was said about the Pats schedule last year, which was the easiest in the league on paper coming into the season, coming off their 18-1 season. The league can’t much control how the divisional match-ups rotate from year to year. They’re set automatically. The league, however, did grant the Ravens’ pissing and moaning about getting a home primetime game against the Steelers.
Threadjack for 2009 schedule talk:
HC Prick Says:
The Steeler’ Sched. is just silly
Thank you. Did someone at the NFL headquarters say, “Hey, the Steelers are the champions. They just won their sixth Super Bowl. Let’s make their schedule easier than last year’s”?”
Also:
1) Welcome to the NFL, Matt Ryan! Great first year, huh? For your second year we’re dumping the entire NFC East on your schedule. Good luck.
2) Week 17: Philadelphia Eagles vs. Dallas Cowboys in Dallas. That can’t be random. Someone remembered 44-6 and decided to send the Eagles to Texas for week 17.
Spoken like a true three
Bahahaha. Look at that idiot flame war in the post below this. You WISH you just had a couple of girls bitching about you calling some broad fat right now, don’t you? Oh yes. The irony is delicious.
A lot of Somali pirates have been attacking merchant vessels in the Gulf of Aden. THAT’S DISRESPECT!!!
@ Captain Caveman: so you are saying he needs to be added to this list? http://www.theonion.com/content/node/36890
Dolphin meat, dolphin meat, nature’s greatest treat…
Punch Troy Polamalu in the dick? I’d love to!
The Steeler’ Sched. is just silly
I’m a little troubled by the implications of an alliance between the dolphins and the Chinese.
TAWMMY BRADY COULD BEAT AWLL THA RAIDAHS BY HIMSELF!! NO ONE DENIES THIS!
This line from the article cracked me up: “The pirates could only lament their littleness befor the vast number of dolphins.” Chinese should never use the word “littleness” for obvious physiological reasons.
/dick joke
That is a fantastic photoshop.
http://www.mcsweeneys.net/links/lists/26GeoffHaggerty.html
What’s the process for nominating someone for the Needs to Get His Dick Punched Hall of Fame?
unless he likes that kind of thing
‘let the punishment fit the crime. . .but also let the punishment not give the criminal some kind of sick fetish boner’
Al Davis chambered a round after reading that headline.
I feel douchy for agreeing with the guy who needs to get his dick punched. it’s fine, i’ll punch myself in the dick repeatedly later, i’ll just open my fist a little and punch myself with a hammer-like motion.
I always thought Raiders raided land, similar to Vikings except not Norse, and Buccaneers were the pirates.
What’s the process for nominating someone for the Needs to Get His Dick Punched Hall of Fame?
Best. Post. Ever.
/today
I always thought Raiders raided land, similar to Vikings except not Norse, and Buccaneers were the pirates.
FIX YO SHIPPING ROUTES!