DOLPHINS TURN BACK RAIDERS! 4 realz this time! Thousands of dolphins blocked the Somali pirates from attacking Chinese merchant ships, thus solving yet another of the “Who Would Win?” scenarios among the NFL mascots. FIX YO PIRACY!
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- KATIE COURIC IS A SEXY DANCER
- THIS COMMERCIAL ROCKS
- J. LO FELL ON HER GIGANTIC ASS
- SNL: JOSEPH GORDON-LEVITT & AL GORE
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TAKE BACK THE SEATS
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THE PERFECT GIFT FOR THE JACKASS IN YOUR LIFE
three-time champs in meaningless awards
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April 14th, 2009 at 4:52 pm
FIX YO SHIPPING ROUTES!
April 14th, 2009 at 5:00 pm
I always thought Raiders raided land, similar to Vikings except not Norse, and Buccaneers were the pirates.
April 14th, 2009 at 5:01 pm
Best. Post. Ever.
/today
April 14th, 2009 at 5:03 pm
I always thought Raiders raided land, similar to Vikings except not Norse, and Buccaneers were the pirates.
What’s the process for nominating someone for the Needs to Get His Dick Punched Hall of Fame?
April 14th, 2009 at 5:06 pm
I feel douchy for agreeing with the guy who needs to get his dick punched. it’s fine, i’ll punch myself in the dick repeatedly later, i’ll just open my fist a little and punch myself with a hammer-like motion.
April 14th, 2009 at 5:08 pm
Al Davis chambered a round after reading that headline.
April 14th, 2009 at 5:08 pm
What’s the process for nominating someone for the Needs to Get His Dick Punched Hall of Fame?
unless he likes that kind of thing
‘let the punishment fit the crime. . .but also let the punishment not give the criminal some kind of sick fetish boner’
April 14th, 2009 at 5:20 pm
http://www.mcsweeneys.net/links/lists/26GeoffHaggerty.html
April 14th, 2009 at 5:56 pm
That is a fantastic photoshop.
April 14th, 2009 at 6:04 pm
This line from the article cracked me up: “The pirates could only lament their littleness befor the vast number of dolphins.” Chinese should never use the word “littleness” for obvious physiological reasons.
/dick joke
April 14th, 2009 at 6:09 pm
TAWMMY BRADY COULD BEAT AWLL THA RAIDAHS BY HIMSELF!! NO ONE DENIES THIS!
April 14th, 2009 at 6:54 pm
I’m a little troubled by the implications of an alliance between the dolphins and the Chinese.
April 14th, 2009 at 7:14 pm
The Steeler’ Sched. is just silly
April 14th, 2009 at 7:16 pm
Punch Troy Polamalu in the dick? I’d love to!
April 14th, 2009 at 7:49 pm
Dolphin meat, dolphin meat, nature’s greatest treat…
April 14th, 2009 at 8:50 pm
@ Captain Caveman: so you are saying he needs to be added to this list? http://www.theonion.com/content/node/36890
April 14th, 2009 at 9:57 pm
A lot of Somali pirates have been attacking merchant vessels in the Gulf of Aden. THAT’S DISRESPECT!!!
April 14th, 2009 at 10:35 pm
Bahahaha. Look at that idiot flame war in the post below this. You WISH you just had a couple of girls bitching about you calling some broad fat right now, don’t you? Oh yes. The irony is delicious.
April 14th, 2009 at 10:49 pm
Spoken like a true three
April 14th, 2009 at 10:55 pm
Threadjack for 2009 schedule talk:
HC Prick Says:
The Steeler’ Sched. is just silly
Thank you. Did someone at the NFL headquarters say, “Hey, the Steelers are the champions. They just won their sixth Super Bowl. Let’s make their schedule easier than last year’s”?”
Also:
1) Welcome to the NFL, Matt Ryan! Great first year, huh? For your second year we’re dumping the entire NFC East on your schedule. Good luck.
2) Week 17: Philadelphia Eagles vs. Dallas Cowboys in Dallas. That can’t be random. Someone remembered 44-6 and decided to send the Eagles to Texas for week 17.
April 14th, 2009 at 10:59 pm
Leigh, HC Prick:
The same thing was said about the Pats schedule last year, which was the easiest in the league on paper coming into the season, coming off their 18-1 season. The league can’t much control how the divisional match-ups rotate from year to year. They’re set automatically. The league, however, did grant the Ravens’ pissing and moaning about getting a home primetime game against the Steelers.
April 14th, 2009 at 11:50 pm
Hey Ape, I would like your advice on proper shit talk to Ravens fans. I’m looking at week 6 when they visit my boys in the Metrodome.
They took urrr puurrple!
Setting up the roadtrip as we speak.
April 15th, 2009 at 1:07 am
/has new desktop background
April 15th, 2009 at 9:17 am
I guess FMRA didn’t get Ape to like her yet.
April 15th, 2009 at 9:26 am
Cowboys have 6 primetime games. FUCK YOUR TVS, AMERICA.
/yeehaw
//fucking crazy
April 15th, 2009 at 9:32 am
I think either Ape forgot to call FMRA aftetwards, or more likely, called every 15 minutes the next day.
Either way, a good PoFlaWa is needed to help pass the time.
April 15th, 2009 at 9:38 am
And the Saints have 3 primetime games at home, including a Saturday nighter against Dallas.
Geaux Saints.
Plus, we get to open the season against Detroit. Thanks, Herr Goodell.
April 15th, 2009 at 10:08 am
FMRA talks like Jason Garrett
April 15th, 2009 at 11:12 am
The league can’t much control how the divisional match-ups rotate from year to year. They’re set automatically.
No shit. Here’s how it works, HC Prick and Leigh: Each team plays all three teams in its division twice (6 games), a game against each team in one NFC division that rotates every year (4 games), a game against each team in one AFC division that rotates every year (4 games), a game against one team each in the remaining two NFC divisions that finished in the same ranking in that division (2 games). The NFL only has a say on the order of the schedule.
April 15th, 2009 at 12:59 pm
FMRA talks like Jason Garrett
Of course she does. They both attended Clown College, right?