“The mindf–k is a motherf–k. We skullf–k them b-tches.”
This rather fantastic video of a 2007 Raiders-Chargers tailgate introduces us to perhaps the most fearsome Raider fan in the galaxy. I speak, of course, of the infamous (as in MORE THAN FAMOUS) Senor Raider. Because there’s nothing more intimidating that a fat man in a black sombrero. It also introduces us to Milt. AND IF YOU DON’T LIKE MILT THEN YOU A BITCH. Let’s make like flubby and do a play-by-play of the action.
0:00 – “Reevers! Reeverssss…” That means you, Marmatard! Huh? Que? CHINGATE!
0:05 – LaDamian! LaDamian, call yo mama!
0:10 – Ah, a stock music version of “Back in Black”. It’s like hearing an episode of “Rock Star: Supernova”
0:40 – Meet my new favorite person in the world: Milt. “Hey Shawne Merriman, YOU A BITCH. YOU A FAGGOT.” I want a hat like that. It says to people, “I’m warm and cozy, but I still hate your fucking guts.” That has to be the only black man on Earth named Milt.
1:45 – “You gonna get season tickets? If you can afford them? I tell you, this is how Raider Nation rolls.” With a surprising amount of economic practicality, it would seem.
2:00 – A toothless, bandana wearing asshole wearing garish clothing? And he’s from Baltimore? GTFO!
2:30 – “Win or lose, you are a Raider.” You certainly are.
3:20 – MILT! MILT IS IN YO FUCKING MIND! MILT IS THE SECRET WEAPON! “The mindfuck is a motherfuck. We skullfuck them bitches.”
4:00 – Don’t be emailin’ Milt, you Kansas City BITCH.
Tags: more milt please, raider nation, youtubage
April 16th, 2009 at 9:52 am
Those are some of the dumbest, saddest wanna-be mutherfuckers I’ve seen in a loooong time.
April 16th, 2009 at 10:04 am
I feel sorry for Flubby.
April 16th, 2009 at 10:09 am
Duck! Milt has grenades and a Raider tattoo.
Also, I’m willing to bet the guy in the sombrero isn’t Mexican.
April 16th, 2009 at 10:09 am
I need to wake up and type my name the right way.
April 16th, 2009 at 10:10 am
What do you want to bet that “Milt” is, in actuality, a Lumbergh-esque middle management goon? Maybe it’s just me, but that felt like the feigned rage of a man who drove to the game in a Saab.
April 16th, 2009 at 10:11 am
I went to a Raider/Cowboy game in Oakland wearing a Cowboys jersey once. Those tough Raider fans parted for me like the Red Sea wherever i went. Bitches are all talk.
Of course, I don’t think Raider Milt was around that day. Things would have been different if he had been, no doubt.
April 16th, 2009 at 10:13 am
My friend went to high school with a guy that always dresses up in the face paint and dumb outfits and sits in the black hole for every game. My friend said the kid was the the biggest geek in high school and now he dresses up and acts like a tough sick fuck at Raider games. Bunch of fucking tools.
April 16th, 2009 at 10:19 am
Dead Tree Crew thinks these muthafuckas should STEP THE FUCK OFF
April 16th, 2009 at 10:21 am
@UU
“My friend said the kid was the the biggest geek in high school and now he dresses up and acts like a tough sick fuck at Raider games.”
Exactly. Tickets and tailgating ain’t cheap and there are a lot of computer nerds with disposable income in the Bay Area; they can’t all be 49er fans. These people wear Darth Vader helmets for fuck’s sake.
April 16th, 2009 at 10:26 am
The mindfuck is indeed a motherfuck. I think Thoreau said that.
April 16th, 2009 at 10:34 am
Pimp: “Not one minute longer or Milt will come for you.”
Gary: “Milt?”
Pimp: “This being Milt.”
April 16th, 2009 at 10:38 am
“The skullfuck go WOOOOOOOOO!”
April 16th, 2009 at 10:42 am
“If Al Davis knew what we did he’d give us two tickets right behind every visiting team.”
And if Al Davis knew about Depends, he could poop without leaving his Rascal scooter!
April 16th, 2009 at 10:42 am
Glad to see somebody started filming The Decline of Western Civilization IV
April 16th, 2009 at 10:45 am
You see, it’s funny because he’s old.
April 16th, 2009 at 10:54 am
I went to a Raiders-Chargers game in San Diego a few years ago and I will give Raider fans credit for traveling well. That said, the most lasting image from that day was a Raider fan in a sports bra. She was 9-months pregnant. It was . . . ungood.
April 16th, 2009 at 11:00 am
13 seconds in, a Calgary Flames flag? Huh?
April 16th, 2009 at 11:06 am
My Peeps…
April 16th, 2009 at 11:07 am
MotherFUCK a Raider.
April 16th, 2009 at 11:11 am
second black person in the world name milt.
milt palacio is looking for his due, drew.
April 16th, 2009 at 11:26 am
Needs more Bo Jackson #34 jerseys.
April 16th, 2009 at 11:34 am
. . . and on Mondays, they all go back to their quiet lives of desperation in the accounting department’s cubicle farm.
April 16th, 2009 at 11:56 am
“My name is Geek and I’m a hip hopper, yeah- getcha some BluBlockers”
April 16th, 2009 at 12:02 pm
Fucktards. Typical Raiders. Ooooh. Talking about how they’d kick the ass of that linebacker for the other team… if only this imaginary line weren’t here, I’d fuck you up good!
April 16th, 2009 at 12:03 pm
CHUH CHUH
April 16th, 2009 at 12:14 pm
Is that kid a young Hines Wald? I so wanted him to look at them..and say..what the fuck is wrong with your retarded asses
April 16th, 2009 at 12:55 pm
Classy!
April 16th, 2009 at 3:37 pm
Sure we look like morons, but 12 drinks deep the black hole isn’t a bad place to be. Since getting into AA I haven’t really had much desire to go anymore though. Still, more hardcore fans than 95% of the teams in the league would have after being so shitty for so long.
April 16th, 2009 at 8:48 pm
@Nate Newton’s Van: I was sitting in Mt. Davis at this game, and a Chargers jersey went sailing off the upper deck after being ripped off a fan. That’s why I kept my jersey under a sweatshirt most of the game.
@Tracer: The reason so many Raiders fans go to Chargers games is because they still have a lot of fans in LA who don’t have a local team anymore (until, in a supremely ironic act, the Chargers move to Industrial City in two years).
April 17th, 2009 at 8:18 am
My virgin ears!
April 18th, 2009 at 4:47 pm
@ devin hester’s speech coach :
THANK YOU. I knew I couldn’t be the only one who immediately thought of Bubb Rubb when Milt came on-screen.
April 18th, 2009 at 5:12 pm
Stay classy Raider Nation…. stay classy.
April 20th, 2009 at 11:26 am
“That has to be the only black man on Earth named Milt.”
Um, you’re forgetting ex-Oakland Athletic Milton Bradley. But I’m pretty sure he is also on board for skullf-cking them b-tches.
April 21st, 2009 at 5:40 pm
the Raider nation is basically just a bunch of gay homophobes who dress up as women but talk about how much they hate guys who dress up as women – oh, and know NOTHING about football.
I’d say Go Die – but being forced to watch the Raiders is worse than death.