“You tried to kill me, you son of a bitch… so welcome to the revolution.”
You know, when I heard yesterday that Bucs linebacker Geno Hayes was STABBED IN THE HEAD by his girlfriend, I of course instantly thought of the greatest headstabbing scene in the history of cinema. Then, naturally, I wondered if there were a way to dramatize Hayes’ plight through that very same scene. A few hours later… BAM!
LSUFreek comes through with flying fucking colors. This man has a gift (Rick Reilly says you could even say he has a gif!). He has the power to make my dreams, no matter how pointless and trivial, come to life. In a way, LSUFreek is like a better version of Jesus. You think Jesus knows how to use photoshop? FUCK AND NO. So bow down before our new savior.
Tags: head stabbings, lsufreek photoshops, We serve the same master and he's a lunatic and he's ungrateful
March 10th, 2009 at 8:56 am
Hey LSU freak you should do one on TO getting cut from dallas ala casino where Joe Pesci and his cousin are beat to death in the corn field. But photoshop wade, JJ, Romo, and JG beating TO and his agent. Thus ending their existense as members of the cowboys.
March 10th, 2009 at 9:03 am
You tryin’ to say that Jesus Christ can’t hit a curveball?
March 10th, 2009 at 9:11 am
The interesting part will be if he keeps her. Then you know she’s awesome in bed.
You can just hear him now, “Yeah, she stabbed me in the head. So what, she’s got a snapping gyro pussy!”
March 10th, 2009 at 9:28 am
Why do I not know what this movie is? It looks incredible.
March 10th, 2009 at 9:31 am
For shame, gooch. For shame.
March 10th, 2009 at 9:34 am
“They’ve got a lot of trouble on that ship.”
March 10th, 2009 at 9:36 am
Second best throat-rip scene in the 90’s when he got the guy in the doorway. Swayze still has him beat when he takes out the denim-toting martial artist in Road House.
March 10th, 2009 at 9:41 am
Gooch
Here’s a hint….Erika Eleniak shows her tits in this movie back when her tits were worth seeing.
March 10th, 2009 at 9:42 am
Wow. LSUfreek incorporates a Steven Segal movie into our daily postings. God bless you LSUfreek. Your place in heaven is secure.
March 10th, 2009 at 9:43 am
Blasphemy will get you nowhere, jew boy.
March 10th, 2009 at 9:44 am
I have been just reminded of the absolute awesomeness of this movie. Segal, Gary Busey AND Tommy Lee Jones? This movie was the balls.
March 10th, 2009 at 9:46 am
It’s not a job, it’s and adventure.
March 10th, 2009 at 9:46 am
Fred Lane’s wife approves of this action.
March 10th, 2009 at 9:46 am
dammit, I mean an not and
March 10th, 2009 at 9:57 am
What IS the next knife-wielding role for TLJ? The Hunted 2: Under Siege 3.
March 10th, 2009 at 9:59 am
“i’m just a cook”
March 10th, 2009 at 9:59 am
Yeah, well I also cook.
March 10th, 2009 at 10:00 am
Also…..Keep the faith, Stranex.
March 10th, 2009 at 10:01 am
If he keeps her, I bet he demands anal for the rest of his life.
March 10th, 2009 at 10:03 am
I can remember pausing that Erika Eleniak scene and jerkin off to it back in the day.
/back in the day = last Monday
March 10th, 2009 at 10:05 am
I got tired of coming up with last minute solutions to immposible problems created by other fucking people
March 10th, 2009 at 10:20 am
Don’t forget that they blast ‘Voodoo Child’ over an aerial shot of a motherfucking United States Navy battleship immediately before Eleniak pops out of the cake with her amazing (natural?) hoots.
How do you top that?
March 10th, 2009 at 10:22 am
He was stabbed with a pair of scissors and a knife. What was she dual-wielding deadly edged weapons? God woman. Chop off his dick like a normal psychopathic bitch.
March 10th, 2009 at 10:41 am
HOW DO WE KNOW HONOLULU ISN’T HER NEXT TARGET?
TELL ME THAT!
March 10th, 2009 at 10:55 am
Elaniak= My Dream Girl………….if only she were 25 forever and mute.
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh, the possibilities………….
March 10th, 2009 at 11:03 am
You ever watch Under Siege on acid maaaan? Whoa maaan, makes everything seem so much more gnarly. Especially Jordan’s tits.
March 10th, 2009 at 11:04 am
Say what you will about Steven Seagal, but no one used the prepositional phrase better in movie titles like that man.
“Steven Seagal. IS. Under Siege!”
“Steven Seagal. IS. Out for Justice!”
“Steven Seagal. IS. Above the Law!”
“Steven Seagal. IS. On Deadly Ground!”
March 10th, 2009 at 11:04 am
Make that “than” not “like.”
Apparently, talking about my grammar sensei has made me nervous.
March 10th, 2009 at 11:05 am
Erika Eleniak was hot, I gotta say. I love that movie. Not necessarily because of Erika… I like the part where he creates an incendiary device with steel wool and a microwave. I hope one day to use that (for good, of course, not evil).
The story from AP:
TAMPA, Fla. — Authorities say the girlfriend of Tampa Bay Buccaneers linebacker Geno Hayes stabbed him in the head and in the neck. A Hillsborough County Sheriff’s spokeswoman says Hayes was taken to a hospital by a friend Saturday. The 21-year-old former Florida State player was treated and later released.
Deputies arrested 19-year-old Shevelle Bagley on Saturday afternoon. The sheriff’s spokeswoman says Hayes and Bagley got into an argument, which led to Bagley grabbing a pair of scissors and stabbing Hayes in the head. He managed to get the scissors away from her, but authorities say she then grabbed a knife and stabbed him in the neck. Bagley was charged with aggravated battery with a deadly weapon. Jail records show she was released Sunday on $25,000 bail.
Florida and a girl named Shevelle. Well, that pretty much explains it right there.
March 10th, 2009 at 11:16 am
So are the Bucs going to be trading in their Shevelle for a Cadillac?
/shows self out.
March 10th, 2009 at 11:19 am
I gotta tell ya, stabbing motherfuckers with scissors is a lot of fun.
I mean, a LOT of fun.
Hey, did y’all hear about TO?
SENIORITY!
March 10th, 2009 at 11:57 am
I don’t know as much about this movie… I was always way more into Dark Territory. That’s from back when Katherine Heigl was still hot… because she was 16.
March 10th, 2009 at 12:50 pm
When I was growing up, whenever my mom made any kind of cake or pie, she would fake shiver and yell “Get my pies out of the oven!” like Rybeck does while locked in the fridge.
March 10th, 2009 at 12:59 pm
@ Otto: Don’t forget what got the 3 word movie title going.
“Steven Seagal. IS. Hard to Kill!”
My favorite was: “Steven Seagal. IS. Marked for Death!” since it had all of the awful Rasta wigs and terrible accents and it was TOTALLY believable that Seagal could single-handedly (without any guns mind you) wipe out a Jamaican drug posse who routinely outgun the Jamaican defense force. The only thing that could have made that movie better would be if it was produced by Golan Globus.
March 10th, 2009 at 1:07 pm
Good point, J4B.
Man, I need to see “Marked for Death” again. I saw “Commando” again for the first time in a dozen years last week, and it was GLORIOUS.
March 10th, 2009 at 1:43 pm
Under Siege was the first movie I ever watched stoned outta my gord. The Segal will rule all with his next cinematic materpiece… ‘Steven Segal is….COCKPUNCHER!’
March 10th, 2009 at 1:43 pm
SHIT, Masterpiece.
March 10th, 2009 at 1:57 pm
Did the argument involve hair cuttery?
March 10th, 2009 at 2:01 pm
Steven Segal remains the only celebrity I have ever seen in person, and it occurred during the shooting of one of his movies (Belly of the Beast). One of the scenes they were filming required SS to slide across the floor and grab a gun or something, but he was too fat and old at the time that they had to get like 4 heavy duty cables and drab him across the hallway in this house. It was pretty depressing to be honest, but having a dozen or so Steven Segal’s look-a-likes (his stunt doubles) wandering around the neighborhood for a couple days was pretty funny.
/still a fan of his movies
March 10th, 2009 at 2:25 pm
You shouldn’t forget the musical mastery of SS – Sounds from the Crystal Cave…
The man is multi-talented!
March 10th, 2009 at 2:25 pm
Erika Eleniak was really good at emerging from a large cake topless. I still have her Playboy spread from the ’90s that I shop-lifted as a highschool lad- and that’s how I’d like to remember her.
March 10th, 2009 at 3:40 pm
Ah, Steven Segal.
I like, nay love, terrible movies as much as the next guy, but for whatever reason I could never get into Segal. I don’t know why, but his brand of awful just doesn’t do it for me. It’s probably my most glaring weakness in the guy’s guy pop culture canon.
I have, however, seen that cake scene.
/high-fives the internet
March 10th, 2009 at 4:13 pm
That bitch was a 7th level ranger, at least. Knife and Scissors AKIMBO!
/D&D nerd.
March 10th, 2009 at 4:33 pm
I saw “Commando” again for the first time in a dozen years last week and it was GLORIOUS.
Great movie. Rae Don Chong, a (too) young Alyssa Milano, murder with garden tools, Bill Duke, that weirdo Australian actor from “Road Warrior”, that weirdo American actor from ” The Warriors”…
That movie gave me a phrase I use every day: “I like you, (insert name). That’s why I’m going to kill you last.”
March 10th, 2009 at 6:20 pm
RE The Gooch:
Eh, the only good movies he made were “Under Siege” and that one where terrorists hijack a plane and fill it with nerve gas and then try to fly it into the eastern seaboard. And he died in the first 30 minutes of that one.
I may be missing one or two other decent Segal movies, but I can live with that. We’ll always have “Under Siege.”
March 10th, 2009 at 8:14 pm
Executive Decision… Kurt Russell as a wannabe Harrison Ford
March 10th, 2009 at 8:53 pm
Umm, I think that article said it all when it described the victim as “a Florida State product”. Stating the obvious.
March 10th, 2009 at 8:55 pm
… a (too) young Alyssa Milano …
No such thing!
/shows self to prison
March 11th, 2009 at 6:51 am
… a (too) young Alyssa Milano …
No such thing!
/shows self to prison
OH! You’re my new favorite blogger fyi
June 27th, 2009 at 7:15 am
yo i think da coolist movie with ss was that one with him and ja rule whare he goes under cover locked up at alcatraze that shit was rite on the money