Ah St. Patrick’s Day, the one day a year when you’re supposed to get hammered before convincing gullible news crews in the deep south that you’ve located a mythical leprechaun hiding in a tree. I may not fully understand your gentile holidays, but I certainly enjoy them. While we here at KSK have no official plans for this festival of drunkenness it’s a safe bet that we’ll all be drinking Jamesons and/or Guinness at some point this evening afternoon morning…
/passes out
//hits head on keyboard
///jkjhmnjhmnjhmnjhmnjhmnjhmnjhmnjhmnjhmnjhmn
[1 hour later]
Anyway, while you’re getting ready for the fun take a look at how your favorite NFL personalities will be carrying on today.
Tommy from Quincy- Wearing his new SACK MY CAWK, I’M A WICKED FAHKIN’ MIC! t-shirt.
Kerry Collins- “I’m not going to drink. I’m not going to drink. I’m not going to drink. Ah fuck it, give me one of them shiftless black beers.”
Ben Roethlisberger- PEW PEW PUKE
Jerry Jones- Goes fuckin’ crazier than usual!
Ryan Fitzpatrick- Reads Ulysses.
Kate Mara- Packs heat.
Matt Leinart- Breaks out the limited edition green beer bong to impress two ginger girls he met while they were ditching sixth period.
Eli Manning- Takes a special bath with Moishe and a bar of Irish Spring soap.
Tom Brady- Dresses Giselle’s dogs in matching kelly green Dolce & Gabbana numbers.
John Carney- Walks around enveloped in the distinct stench of cabbage.
Todd Haley- “What, you think I celebrate that fucking Paddy holiday? I’M FROM ENGLISH STOCK, YOU KNOW-NOTHING ASSHOLE!”
J.T. O’Sullivan- Rids the Colonies of the Protestant Scourge.
Tom Coughlin- Gets all red in the face from screaming at a barmaid.
Deuce McAllister- Wonders why everybody thinks he’s Irish.
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Leprechaun flute? Looks like a crack pipe to me.
(You had me at “news crews in the Deep South.”)
/ponders whether inclusion of “Dead End” sign was reporter’s commentary on own career
Patrick is also the Patron Saint of Nigeria.
What’s Kathy Ireland up to these days?
I have fond memories of Northern Ireland.
Mike Shannahan- gets brained by a d-cell battery at the St. Patrick’s Day Parade.
Travis Henry is thanking god that St Pats Day is not a “gift buying” holiday.
You just now discovered that?
Pfft. He was probably home schooled.
Here’s another shocker: The earth revolves around the sun.
RE the picture: I’d like to have that gun. And her hair looks nice.
Agreed. My hair always looks like shit when I have to run around the house in my underwear shooting people.
I have made a delightful discovery
Jim Beam and Dr. Pepper is fucking delicious
You just now discovered that?
Love the lady in the video claiming the Leprachaun is a crack attic.
King Laserface is burning Ulysses. Goddam porno!
I would like someone to have a Guinness for me. Wah, I have to work all day and early evening. If I hit any local bar at 8:30 pm I might actually find some more fodder for the fetish tournament. Ugh.
Todd Haley says exactly what I think about dead Irish guy day.
Jay Cutler: Spills Guinness. Cries.
McAllister is a Scotch name. He should know better.
I have made a delightful discovery
Jim Beam and Dr. Pepper is fucking delicious
I’ve spent half an hour making this post spelled properly
the dude with the gold teeffs drew that sketch with his ass.
Tried to watch the video, but I couldn’t get past the picket fence in the mouth of the guy in the blue hat at the :30 mark. Good Lord, WTF?
And, no need for the gun, Kate. I’ll do whatever you’d like.
What, no Peter King plans this St. Patrick’s Day? Shouldn’t he be drinking green coffee flavored water or getting fat drunk in Boston? I’m depressed about the omission of marmalard and cutlerfucker too.
I’m still shocked Tawmy from Quinzee isn’t featured in a St. Patty’s article. I mean really, of all the time to target Boston, the IRISH HOLIDAY?
Don’t you fuckers disappoint me…
Leonard Little: Laughing at justice. (that goes for every day that ends with “y”)
Shaquille O’Neal knows nothing of this holiday. St. Pat.. what?
/Oh and I’ve been drinking Harp and Guiness since Sunday.
//Wonders how much longer I’ll need to listen to the air horns going off in midtown today.
Saw that “leprechaun” video last week. I’ll say the same thing now that I said then: it’s not any dumber than when religious nutjobs insist they saw Jesus or Mary in a piece of toast, a screen door, a rock formation, their own feces…
RE the picture: I’d like to have that gun. And her hair looks nice.
Leonard Little is already asking patrons in the bar who needs a ride home later…
Cutlerfucker: claims that his shillelagh is stronger than Elway’s.
“Smack my bitch up” and St. Paddy’s Day – it just works.
For some reason, the popular shirt at the parade Sunday was “Cheers Fuckface”. They were green though.
Marmalard: Bring me a normal fucking beer! Get this green shit out of here you stupid cuntass! (Tosses mug that floats in the air until last call)
Donovan McNabb: Attends parade in hometown of Chicago, sparking at least 300 stories suggesting that he’s trying to force a trade.
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0544718/bio
THAT FACKIN WHORE-AH IS RELATED TO THE FACKIN GIANTS AND THE STEELAHS?!
Clinton Portis: Dress up like Teefices the Alabama Leprechaun
Alternative shirt for Tommy from Quincy: Fuck me I’m Irish.
Kurt Warner – prays for all us sinners’ souls.
“Deuce McAllister- Wonders why everybody thinks he’s Irish.”
That would also work for Donovan McNabb
Jeff Reed: Attempt to dye hair green, punch bathroom mirror when he fails
Everyone knows, the Black Irish invented the story of the pot of gold teeff at the end of the rainbow.
The video is from the Mobile chapter of Mensa. True story.
/geez, I hate living in Alabama