Today’s NYT article on Travis Henry’s child support woes is one of the more breathtaking chronicles of idiocy and personal irresponsibility I’ve ever had the pleasure to read. Henry, if you recall, has nine different kids by nine different women. He’s like the black Octomom. Here are the money quotes.

His eldest child was conceived while Henry was in high school, before he was named Mr. Florida Football and a Parade All-American. The child was unplanned as were all but one of his offspring, he said.

One of his children was actually PLANNED? Color me shocked.

Two relationships while he attended the University of Tennessee produced two more children. Attending the annual N.F.L. rookie symposium as a 2001 draft pick of the Buffalo Bills, Henry watched a skit that dramatized the repercussions of imprudent sexual activity. It might as well have been geared toward him.

Henry laughed through the sketch. “I thought, ‘That ain’t ever going to happen to me,’ ” he said.

BUT IT ALREADY HAPPENED TO YOU THREE TIMES.

Henry maintained that he was involved long-term with many of the mothers. Some, he said, told him they were using birth control, and he professed surprise at discovering they became pregnant by him.

I can’t believe a woman I barely know lied to me!

“My counselor asks me, ‘How can you do the same thing over and over?’” he said, unable to provide an answer.

Then he whipped his dick out and asked the reporter if they wanted to have unprotected sex.

“Knock on wood, or something, I’m blessed not to have AIDS. That never crossed my mind.”

Jesus. I mean really, Jesus Christ.

Henry argued that, within the context of richly paid athletes, he was not out of line. He contended that he owned no more than three vehicles at once and figured he had spent $250,000 on jewelry. “That ain’t a lot,” he said.

It ain’t as much as a can of Similac, that’s for sure.

“I have a big heart,” he said.

I just can’t stop fucking people and not worrying about AIDS!

Kessler, his Atlanta lawyer, said Henry could catch up on child support with access to $250,000 that the judge ordered be placed in a trust. Kessler has appealed the ruling.

“Travis is tackling this head-on,” he said…

But falling behind in support, getting arrested for cocaine trafficking, blaming the mothers like so…

Henry voiced no love for the mothers of some of his children. “Everything was cool,” he said before he signed the rich contract with Denver. “Then they were out for blood.”

“I’m trying to get through the storm,” said Henry, who is eager to impart the same advice to N.F.L. rookies that he once ignored. He would tell them, “Don’t ever think it can’t happen to you.”

Yes, NFL rookies. Don’t ever think you could accidentally one day have nine children over the span of a fucking decade.

Travis Henry: Baby Baron.