Travis Henry Is Broke, Retarded
Today’s NYT article on Travis Henry’s child support woes is one of the more breathtaking chronicles of idiocy and personal irresponsibility I’ve ever had the pleasure to read. Henry, if you recall, has nine different kids by nine different women. He’s like the black Octomom. Here are the money quotes.
His eldest child was conceived while Henry was in high school, before he was named Mr. Florida Football and a Parade All-American. The child was unplanned as were all but one of his offspring, he said.
One of his children was actually PLANNED? Color me shocked.
Two relationships while he attended the University of Tennessee produced two more children. Attending the annual N.F.L. rookie symposium as a 2001 draft pick of the Buffalo Bills, Henry watched a skit that dramatized the repercussions of imprudent sexual activity. It might as well have been geared toward him.
Henry laughed through the sketch. “I thought, ‘That ain’t ever going to happen to me,’ ” he said.
BUT IT ALREADY HAPPENED TO YOU THREE TIMES.
Henry maintained that he was involved long-term with many of the mothers. Some, he said, told him they were using birth control, and he professed surprise at discovering they became pregnant by him.
I can’t believe a woman I barely know lied to me!
“My counselor asks me, ‘How can you do the same thing over and over?’” he said, unable to provide an answer.
Then he whipped his dick out and asked the reporter if they wanted to have unprotected sex.
“Knock on wood, or something, I’m blessed not to have AIDS. That never crossed my mind.”
Jesus. I mean really, Jesus Christ.
Henry argued that, within the context of richly paid athletes, he was not out of line. He contended that he owned no more than three vehicles at once and figured he had spent $250,000 on jewelry. “That ain’t a lot,” he said.
It ain’t as much as a can of Similac, that’s for sure.
“I have a big heart,” he said.
I just can’t stop fucking people and not worrying about AIDS!
Kessler, his Atlanta lawyer, said Henry could catch up on child support with access to $250,000 that the judge ordered be placed in a trust. Kessler has appealed the ruling.
“Travis is tackling this head-on,” he said…
But falling behind in support, getting arrested for cocaine trafficking, blaming the mothers like so…
Henry voiced no love for the mothers of some of his children. “Everything was cool,” he said before he signed the rich contract with Denver. “Then they were out for blood.”
“I’m trying to get through the storm,” said Henry, who is eager to impart the same advice to N.F.L. rookies that he once ignored. He would tell them, “Don’t ever think it can’t happen to you.”
Yes, NFL rookies. Don’t ever think you could accidentally one day have nine children over the span of a fucking decade.
Travis Henry: Baby Baron.
Tags: Big Daddy Drew, drains on our economy, terrible parents, terrible people, travis henry
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March 12th, 2009 at 1:40 pm
In 3 years. you’ll put out similar material but all mentions of “Travis Henry” will be replaced by “Darren McFadden”
March 12th, 2009 at 1:43 pm
You can point to this article as one of the reasons Shanahan was fired.
March 12th, 2009 at 1:47 pm
that article reads like a pitch for an 80s sitcom.
March 12th, 2009 at 1:52 pm
Hater, you’re right….for whatever reason, Darren McFadden seems like he could be that guy.
March 12th, 2009 at 1:53 pm
the “terrible people” tag couldn’t be more perfect.
March 12th, 2009 at 1:55 pm
“Henry maintained that he was involved long-term with many of the mothers.”
please Mr. Henry, define “long term”
March 12th, 2009 at 1:57 pm
what kind of skanks does he deal with that would purposely get pregnant by him knowing he had so many kids by so many women before them?
I’m working on a book about his life. Its called “Travis Henry: The Sad Story of a Fertile Idiot and his 10 Trifling-Ass Hoes.”
Its a childrens book.
March 12th, 2009 at 1:57 pm
“Hi, I’m Troy McClure, you may remember me from other NFL Rookie Symposium skits, such as ‘Slim down, Andre Smith!’ and “DON’T SIGN WITH THE BEARS!’”
March 12th, 2009 at 2:01 pm
Henry laughed through the sketch. “I thought, ‘That ain’t ever going to happen to me,’ ” he said.
“Hey kids, come over here….check this whack shit out.”
March 12th, 2009 at 2:02 pm
Dear Travis,
Don’t be a dummy, cum on her tummy.
March 12th, 2009 at 2:07 pm
“Idiocracy” should be listed as a documentary. One day, it will be one. Only I don’t think it’ll take 500 years. 200, tops.
March 12th, 2009 at 2:08 pm
Seriously, I really don’t wanna sound like a total racist asshole but how many white people does this happen to? How in the world could he have been surprised after like the 6th time!!!! This is why we should take stupid fuckin people, regardless of race, and make em fight against lions, or each other, or both in some kind of gladitorial arena. Who wouldn’t watch that?? I know I’m not alone here.
March 12th, 2009 at 2:09 pm
Travis Henry should have someone read him Rae Carruth’s new book:
Don’t Let Them Lyin’ Bitches Trick You And How You Can Get Even With Their Lyin’ Asses
March 12th, 2009 at 2:12 pm
@ UU – Long term meant he stayed the night.
March 12th, 2009 at 2:12 pm
“Your birth control looks a lot like Tic Tacs. Are you sure about this?”
March 12th, 2009 at 2:12 pm
rittle bit lacist
March 12th, 2009 at 2:14 pm
Condoms are soooooo LAME!
March 12th, 2009 at 2:17 pm
@Metal: “I really don’t wanna sound like a total racist asshole…”
You failed, dog. Did you see the line at the top where Drew says, “he’s like the black octomom”? According to this logic, white people set the standard. And don’t even get me started on Mormon families.
Careful what you want to have happen to stupid people, friendo. You may be a part of that group.
March 12th, 2009 at 2:21 pm
Don’t worry, you don’t sound like a total racist asshole. You just sound semi-quasi-racist, dickbag. Don’t whip out the “I voted for Obama” card either. Fucking moron!
BTW, I really hope you weren’t asking how many white people have illegitimate kids
March 12th, 2009 at 2:21 pm
Picking up where Metal left off:
“Can we get rid of all the Mexicans?”
March 12th, 2009 at 2:22 pm
Seriously, I really don’t wanna sound like a total racist asshole but how many white people does this happen to?
You never watched my show?
March 12th, 2009 at 2:22 pm
if you start a statement with, “I really don’t wanna sound like a total racist asshole,” you’re a fucking total racist asshole.
there are scumbags of every race. and yes, as hard as it may be to believe, white dudes father, then abandon their multiple children also.
March 12th, 2009 at 2:23 pm
I agree with Anton Chigurh up there “friendo”! Haven’t you ever been to a trailor park?!?!
March 12th, 2009 at 2:24 pm
I thought octomom was blackish.
March 12th, 2009 at 2:26 pm
White athletes have also had kids then abandoned them, but Tom Brady has some catching up to do.
March 12th, 2009 at 2:27 pm
You’re all a bunch of bastards as far as I’m concerned
Metaldude: you forgot to say “With all due respect…”
March 12th, 2009 at 2:27 pm
@Young James, I read she was Palestinian or something like that. In other words, not white.
March 12th, 2009 at 2:28 pm
MetalUpUrAss = Bill Simmons?
March 12th, 2009 at 2:29 pm
In hindsight the $250,000 spent on jewelry could have bought plenty of diapers.
March 12th, 2009 at 2:31 pm
I don’t wanna sound like a total racist asshole, but naggars are lazy good fer nuthin’ tricksters… wide noses breathin’ up all the white man’s air… White power!
March 12th, 2009 at 2:33 pm
@ MetalUpUrAss: If it’s regardless of race, why the hell are you discerning between white people and black people with this paternity out of wedlock shit? There are plenty of white asshole athletes that slip one by the goalie (Brady, Urlacher to name a couple) but just because it’s not 9 kids doesn’t make it any less wrong.
Listen Henry is a moron plain and simple, but let’s keep this discussion about what it’s suppposed to be about…torturing and feeding stupid people to ravenous safari animals with the Kill, Kill, Kill music blaring in the background.
March 12th, 2009 at 2:33 pm
he has 11 kids by 10 woman not 9 with 9. He had twins not to long ago with a different woman
March 12th, 2009 at 2:35 pm
I don’t wanna sound like a queer or nothin’, but I think Depeche Mode is a sweet band!
March 12th, 2009 at 2:36 pm
Nathan I thought it was 10 kids by 11 women, wasn’t it?
March 12th, 2009 at 2:36 pm
I don’t mean to sound like a homophobe, MetalUpUrAss, but your name is fucking gay.
March 12th, 2009 at 2:37 pm
NATHAN, DUDE, POST YOUR SOURCE.
March 12th, 2009 at 2:43 pm
i don’t mean to sound like MetalUpUrAss, but i’m a racist prick
March 12th, 2009 at 2:43 pm
http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/otl/index
March 12th, 2009 at 2:44 pm
11 kids by 10 golddigging whores
http://www.profootballtalk.com/2009/03/12/henry-ive-lost-everything-in-this-mess-ive-gotten-myself-into/#respond
March 12th, 2009 at 2:45 pm
Seriously, I really don’t wanna sound like a total racist asshole but how many white people does this happen to?
In Alaska, all of them.
March 12th, 2009 at 2:46 pm
Either everybody has forgotten to take their meds today, or Iran has managed to perfect their long range delivery system for Asshole Gas, ‘cuz there’s a lot cranky mo-fos on here today.
March 12th, 2009 at 2:49 pm
$250,000 in jewellry and no more than 3 cars at once. The guy is a model of restraint.
March 12th, 2009 at 2:49 pm
Thanks for the links. For a second I thought i was ‘In the Herd’.
/hates that ‘bend the facts to fit my petty argument’ turd.
March 12th, 2009 at 2:50 pm
@ MetalUpUrAss – Dude i would say the Palin and Spears families ‘force childbirth on our underage children’ philosophy is proof-positive that baby related idiocy is a pan-racial phenomenon
March 12th, 2009 at 2:51 pm
@ Navin: I blame it on Ufford. He didn’t get his whisky-spiked coffee this morning after writing that 400 word bit on the Watchmen and nearly sent a telepathic scud missle over to miamidiesel.
No seriously, stupid people bring out the worst in people, especially when our bank accounts are at -35% or whatever these days.
March 12th, 2009 at 2:52 pm
I don’t wanna sound like a total racist asshole or nothing, but I bet all of Henry’s kids will be top notch dancers.
March 12th, 2009 at 2:59 pm
Darren Mcfadden is well on his way. I believe he already has 3 kids with 3 different women. Travis Henry is the gold standard. He’s who I model my life by. I am 1/3 of the way there.
March 12th, 2009 at 3:00 pm
“In Alaska, all of them.”
Don’t forget Montana and the Dakotas. No WAY there’s black people there.
March 12th, 2009 at 3:04 pm
i don’t wanna sound like travis henry, but rubbers are for fags.
March 12th, 2009 at 3:05 pm
“Don’t forget Montana and the Dakotas. No WAY there’s black people there.”
There might be thanks to Travis Henry
March 12th, 2009 at 3:05 pm
How the hell did Sarah Palin get dragged into this? Yes I think a woman raising a large family WITH HER HUSBAND and a teenager and her boyfriend taking responsibility for their actions WITH PLENTY OF PARENTAL SUPPORT is nearly an identical situation to this fucking retard knocking up 10 women then whining about having to pay child support. Great analogy!! Is it asking too much for some of you libtards to at least wait until a relevant time to regurgitate your silly-assed strained politcal name-dropping?!?
March 12th, 2009 at 3:08 pm
I’d take 10 Travis Henrys over one Palin anyday… don’t you agree that she should be immediately arrested?
March 12th, 2009 at 3:09 pm
@Clayton
Shut. The fuck. Up.
March 12th, 2009 at 3:09 pm
My dad has three kids from three different women.
He’s only 1/3 the man Travis Henry is!
March 12th, 2009 at 3:10 pm
@ Clayton: I have to agree with you on this.
March 12th, 2009 at 3:10 pm
On a side note, Sarah Palin could get it
March 12th, 2009 at 3:12 pm
I actually went down a different mental path. I just talked to a friend an hour ago, who’s son is involved with a girl with a child from a previous relationship. That child is six, and is the oldest of NINE CHILDREN fathered by this jackass that lives here in the Capital region. Apparently, the whole condom concept just doesn’t work for some. And I am guessing that this guying isn’t making NFL coin. He is just an ass.
March 12th, 2009 at 3:13 pm
Travis Henry, the modern-day Johnny Appleseed.
March 12th, 2009 at 3:14 pm
RAPOFLAWA! EVERYONE HIDE!
March 12th, 2009 at 3:14 pm
On a side note, what are these “condoms” you speak of?
March 12th, 2009 at 3:14 pm
now, let’s not bring honest, objective, observations into a discussion with social, politicial and racial implications… we need to maintain a level of blissful ignorance so everyone can live consequence-free regardless of how we handle our major life decisions.
March 12th, 2009 at 3:15 pm
MetalUpUrAss, quit giving Metallica a bad name. You don’t deserve the handle you’ve given yourself.
March 12th, 2009 at 3:15 pm
Run DMC is definitely following the Travis Henry birth control method. he’s had 3 before the combine last year, and i’m sure he’s workin on a few as we speak…
at least he’s not on the Shawn Kemp method, where you molest women and get them pregnant before refusing to pay child support.
March 12th, 2009 at 3:16 pm
Boatdrinks, does this person live in Schenectady, Albany or Troy?
March 12th, 2009 at 3:17 pm
9 kids in a fucking decade? The Duggars are not impressed.
March 12th, 2009 at 3:18 pm
@Clayton…
um, i think you’re on the wrong site…
March 12th, 2009 at 3:19 pm
Also, Evander Holyfield. There’s a reason he’s still fighting at 50 years old.
Didn’t Wilt Chamberlain father an entire basketball team in his time?
March 12th, 2009 at 3:19 pm
+1 Cool Whip, honestly the first time I laughed out loud reading something in a bit
@Clayton Bigsby holt shit, its ann coulters little boy white power + sarah palin defending. I love it. what a fucktard
March 12th, 2009 at 3:19 pm
a teenager and her boyfriend taking responsibility for their actions WITH PLENTY OF PARENTAL SUPPORT
All that support must have made the breakup easier to bear. At least Gov Palin might be able to help them get their deposits back from the caterers.
March 12th, 2009 at 3:24 pm
throw Elijiah Dukes on this list. apparently he’s divorced a wife with one kid, and then fathered 4 more kids with 4 separate women, 2 of which gave birth 8 days apart! all by the age of 23! this guy is a fucking champ!
March 12th, 2009 at 3:26 pm
Former NBA player Jason Caffey is no slouch either. He has fathered 10 children with eight different women.
March 12th, 2009 at 3:29 pm
@UU. Not sure, the friend and family live Clifton Park / Halfmoon area. ??? Could be any of the three….
And Schenectady such fine citizens in the Police and School system.
March 12th, 2009 at 3:29 pm
@ Fletch; And lets not forget Elijah professing his love to one of his baby mommas by threatning to kill her on a voicemail. Elijah defines clutch.
March 12th, 2009 at 3:39 pm
@Metal: Tom. Brady.
March 12th, 2009 at 3:42 pm
Ten kids. Wow. Back in the 80s Steve Garvey’s two paternity suits caused a huge scandal.
March 12th, 2009 at 3:42 pm
@Charlie Villaneuvas Eyebrows….RE: Wilt Chamberlain. When I used to blog, I wrote a review of a biography of his and, amazingly, he managed during his prodigous run to not father a single child out of wedlock. That fact was far more amazing that the alleged 20,000 sexual partners figure that he threw out there.
/please pardon this injection of fact….now go back to the making of dick jokes
March 12th, 2009 at 3:44 pm
Oops. Eleven kids. That’s still more than Steve Garvey.
March 12th, 2009 at 3:46 pm
@johndewar. Thanks for that info. I knew the man tagged a lot of tail and I was always curious how he didn’t have at least a platoon of kids chasing him.
March 12th, 2009 at 3:50 pm
johndewar
yeah, people used to enjoy fuckin just for it’s own sake
now it’s a goddamned career move
but seriously, Wilt has to be full of shit from both directions on this one
March 12th, 2009 at 3:51 pm
The answer to the Wilt Chamberlain thing is simple: he dribbled before he shot.
March 12th, 2009 at 3:55 pm
statistically, withdrawal is, what 96% effective if used correctly?
even if you believe Wilt’s numbers we’re still talking 1,000 kids, give or take
March 12th, 2009 at 4:08 pm
I don’t wanna sound like a sensitive pansy who can’t just let it go when someone talks shit about me in a comment thread, but…
@Quentin; The “white power” bit and the handle “Clayton Bigsby” are both from Chappelle’s show (the black white supremacist)… also, I wasn’t defending Palin’s honor persay, just exposing a completely absurd analogy. Now back to the bipartisan dick jokes!!
March 12th, 2009 at 4:10 pm
Two more and he’s got himself an offense. If these kids inherit even half the fertility daddy has, he’s going to be fielding an entire NFL team of grandchildren. That’s 40 fucking grandkids if they pump out half as many babies as he did. Hold shit is that a Christmas and a half.
/Puts on rubber
//Puts on another rubber
///Doesn’t fuck girlfriend
March 12th, 2009 at 4:14 pm
i don’t want to sound like a pedantic latin nazi but it’s per se
and you was way too quick to jump in front of the bus to save dumbass sara palin
exposing a completely absurd analogy in a ksk comment thread? way to pick a needle out of a haystack, homey
i fuck raw, just like travis henry
and I bust in the box, too
but I’m not a millionaire and I don’t fuck dumb greedy bitches
at least not any dumber and greedier than what you normally expect from a woman
but you don’t see me coming out on behalf of that fool
March 12th, 2009 at 4:14 pm
Is it asking too much for some of you libtards to at least wait until a relevant time to regurgitate your silly-assed strained politcal name-dropping?!?
Yeah, it’s not like stories about Levi Johnston breaking it off with Bristol Palin were all over the news this morning. Hard to believe the Republicans insisted those two were getting married and made them a centerpiece of the campaign, and now it’s all dissolved as bullshit.
Such a strained comment to bring them into it.
March 12th, 2009 at 4:14 pm
“That was back when a dime bag cost a dime. You know how much condoms cost back then? Me either, never used em!”
March 12th, 2009 at 4:19 pm
“Kids…what do you say when you meet a nice man?”
“Are you my daddy?”
/Travis “Big Baby Daddy Henry” is a confused individual
March 12th, 2009 at 4:20 pm
@ Porky
Don’t be a Menace? Please tell me I’m not misplacing that one……
March 12th, 2009 at 4:21 pm
“La-tex Con-dome.” Boy, I sure would like to live in one of those!
March 12th, 2009 at 4:23 pm
+1 Captain Murphy. I can’t remember what movie that came from though. I know it was an old fucker though. Is it half baked?
/fucking internet being down all day at work until just now fucking blows!
March 12th, 2009 at 4:23 pm
Three Historical Figures Laid A Lot Of Pipe:
• Niall of the Nine Hostages. Badass Irish warlord from the Middle Ages who swung a mighty shillelagh with the colleens. If you have any Irish or Scottish blood there’s a strong chance Old Neil is in your DNA.
• Attila the Hun. Attila means “Little Daddy”. He was a midget poonhound who died while getting down. If your ancestors came from anywhere between Central Asia and Rome, then you might be a descendant of his.
• Genghis Khan. Shit, we all know about him. A pussy conqueror and absentee dad from Mongolia to Moskow.
March 12th, 2009 at 4:26 pm
@dAndy
Half Baked. Old guy was one Willie Nelson.
March 12th, 2009 at 4:27 pm
It was “Half Baked”. Willie Nelson and Dave Chappelle.
March 12th, 2009 at 4:27 pm
conquering a sizeable fraction of the Eurasian land mass seems a much more appealing option than coughing up 10 large each month in 10 different directions (or 11?)
of course it gives whole new meaning to “the manner in which they have grown accustomed”
March 12th, 2009 at 4:27 pm
D’oh! dAndy gets the Daily Double.
March 12th, 2009 at 4:29 pm
@clayton
now i get it!
he divorced his wife for marrying a black man (himself)…HA!
March 12th, 2009 at 4:31 pm
@Gino
I feel like it’d be more in the spirit of this post to say he got Double Teamed.
March 12th, 2009 at 4:34 pm
HEIGH-OOO!
March 12th, 2009 at 4:36 pm
@TR- the “republicans” didn’t make them the centerpiece of shit… once the “leave children out of it” rules were suspended long enough for every media outlet to atack them, what were they supposed to do? Hide it? Disown her? Kill the baby? Forbid her to stay with the clown? Maybe it’s just a family that’s as fucked up as the rest of us and they didn’t have the political clout or know-how yet to just “make it go away”… you know, like John Edwards? (Now THAT would be a better “illegitimate child” analogy from the political world).
Yes, I still believe it was a strained comment… like if I was to say something completely irrelevant but provocative like “Maybe Henry should’ve taken a cue from Teddy K. and taken those bitches for a little ride on a Chappaquiddick bridge!”, or “With all the raping and fucking Clinton has done, I bet he has some little Billys running around out there, too”… see how irrelevant and stupid that sounds?!? More dick jokes, less politics.
March 12th, 2009 at 4:44 pm
X-mas Ape – I know it was a while ago, but seriously, +1 for the Troy McClure shout-out.
March 12th, 2009 at 4:48 pm
Lionel Hutz is on Travis Henry’s legal team.
March 12th, 2009 at 4:50 pm
clayton the reason it’s so much more fun to drag sarah palin through this muck is that she is the one they brought on the ticket for the purpose of pandering to the religious right moral majority nutbags. that little touch of irony is all we need
dragging bill clinton through the muck is a waste of effort. we all know he’s a ho, he knows he’s a ho. that’s why that shit ain’t as funny. and of course, Chappaquiddick refers to a time before teh internets, which may possibly all be a fiction
I mean, what kind of mythical fantasyland was it where you could bang 20,000 women and not have any seven-foot bastards running around? what did he put dragon-spit on his Johnson before entering the fray?
March 12th, 2009 at 5:16 pm
Think Wilt Chamberlain got down with Grace Jones when they filmed “Conan The Destroyer”?
March 12th, 2009 at 5:21 pm
Wilt said he fucked 20,000 WOMEN
he didn’t give us a count on androgynes
March 12th, 2009 at 5:23 pm
@Gino; If so, I hope he had the courtesy to give her a reach-around! Now I have a picture of a young Olivia D’abo stuck in my head though- I’ve got some business to attend to now…
March 12th, 2009 at 5:23 pm
Yeah, I’ll bet Grace Jones scared off the Big Dipper. Maybe she even scared off Schwarzenegger, too.
March 12th, 2009 at 5:27 pm
Olivia D’Abo. Score. I forgot the “Wonder Years” sister was in the Conan sequel. Her sister Mariam is pretty hot, too.
March 12th, 2009 at 6:06 pm
I’m wondering how many of the skanks that Travis Henry fucked were from Buffalo.
My guess: Not many. He doesn’t strike me as the kind of guy who digs steelworkers.
March 12th, 2009 at 6:06 pm
@ Clayton
Don’t you know that political satire is only funny if it’s about Republicans? Teddy K is ah fackin saint!
/Tawmy
March 12th, 2009 at 6:07 pm
It’s clear he really doesn’t care where it lands. Think about how many girls you’ve slept with and not used a rubber. And how many illegitimate kids you don’t have. Hopefully.
March 12th, 2009 at 6:12 pm
Hey Gino, been over to badassoftheweek lately? Sounds like it.
As far as Travis goes, at least he isn’t impregnating himself with eight kids already having six while still living at M&Ds. Dumb bitch and the docs (lower case on purpose) let her. Jeez.
March 12th, 2009 at 6:36 pm
Mr. Henry’s reputation as a dumb ass may have preceded him in his relationships with these female paragons of virtue. Considering the probable caliber of female he chooses to romance, no telling who actually fathered these children. They just know the one who thinks $250k of jewelry is no big deal.
March 12th, 2009 at 7:22 pm
You know one of those kids is going end up as a big time athlete one day and there will be Chris Connelly story about his relationship with his dead beat dad.
March 12th, 2009 at 7:24 pm
@TR- the “republicans” didn’t make them the centerpiece of shit…
I had a link-laden response to that, but I think it broke the internet.
You’re right, Clayton, the Republicans didn’t make the Bristol-Levi Johnson story the centerpiece of anything, if you disregard (1) the fact that it was Sarah Palin who personally broke the story in a press release before the convention, (2) the fact that John McCain staged a photo-op at the Boston airport where he embraced Bristol and Levi with giant bear hugs like he was their grandpa (all in full view of a carefully arranged press corps on the open tarmac), (3) the fact that the Palin kids were given prime seats on the front row during Palin’s address (unlike McCain’s kids, or Biden’s, or Obama’s), (4) the fact that Palin herself repeatedly talked about them from the stump and during her formal acceptance speech, and (5) the fact that Palin and Bristol followed it all up with cover-story interviews with Us Weekly and other tabloid rags.
Other than all of that, you’re right, the Republicans did nothing to call attention to the Bristol-Levi relationship. That dastardly media just dragged it out of them.
Congratulations, numbnuts, you just set a new record for stupidity on the internet.
March 12th, 2009 at 7:27 pm
And yeah, Teddy Kennedy killed a woman while driving drunk.
You know who else killed someone while driving drunk? Laura Bush.
http://www.snopes.com/politics/bush/laura.asp
Conservatives can’t stop masturbating to the Kennedy incident, even forty years later, and yet liberals rarely talk about Laura Bush. Funny, huh?
March 12th, 2009 at 7:36 pm
@ EastEndClam
I’d never seen badassoftheweek.com before, but I took the bait and checked it out. It wasn’t the gay porn I’d been dreading, but an interesting read. I’ve spent today’s waining work-day hours (I’m on the West Coast) learning about the Viking on Stamford Bridge. Turns out that at one time there were men called Vikings who were badass.
March 12th, 2009 at 7:43 pm
TR, I’m pretty sure Laura Bush wasn’t drunk and didn’t leave the scene of the accident so her passenger could drown to death. Kennedy is a scum bag, I know Democrats that won’t even defend him.
March 12th, 2009 at 7:50 pm
Can we go back to making fun of Travis Henry? I think we can all agree he’s fucking retarded. Or fucking AND retarded. Or fucking, retarded. This is a bipartisan issue.
March 12th, 2009 at 8:13 pm
I’m saving my-self for tomorrows commenter draft.
March 12th, 2009 at 8:26 pm
Gino- Yeah but Voytek is my hero. Bears, Nazis, Gulag Poles, great shit.
To keep topical- Travis Henry fit right in in Knoxville, “The ‘hood in the wood”
March 12th, 2009 at 8:26 pm
@ TR: Please show where in the Snopes story you linked to where it says or implies Laura Bush was intoxicated in the accident described.
Either you didn’t read the Snopes entry, which makes you an idiot, or you knew Laura Bush was never convicted of drunken driving, which makes you a liar for posting false information, and an idiot for thinking no one would notice.
Regarding your comparison with Ted Kennedy’s role in the death of Mary Jo Kopechne, I agree: every time Laura Bush ran for the US Senate or the normination of her party for President, the press gave her a pass on her role in a vehicular homicide.
March 12th, 2009 at 8:42 pm
It’s been over 90 days since the election. Of course Sarah Palin lifted the grace period for her daughter to break up with bastard’s daddy. Long enough to blunt media coverage and not hurt Sarah’s bid for the 2012 ticket (she’ll lose out to Neil Bush anyway.)
March 12th, 2009 at 8:52 pm
@ EastEndClam
If only Voytek The Nazi-Killing Bear had sired 11 cubs and Travis Henry were a mascot for a bunch of Polaks. That ursine family would be one mean, smoking, drinking, killing machine.
March 12th, 2009 at 8:53 pm
@TR; I defer to your superior intellect… how could I have made such an embarassing statement? Since we all know that only republicans use underhanded tactics during campaigns and, therefore the dems didn’t in fact dispatch hordes of people to Alaska to dig up dirt on the Palins, it is safe to say that- had the information not been released by Sarah herself- the opposition NEVER would have stooped so low as to use the teen pregnancy of the daughter of a woman who believes in abstinence-only sex education as a smear tactic to tarnish the “rollout” of a fairly unknown politician. There were already rumors running rampant on the internet (and repeated by “reputable” news organizations and publications) that the Governor didn’t actually give birth to her newborn daughter (and that it was actually Bristol’s), but it would be beyond the pale to suggest that anyone in the media would jeopardize their journalistic integrity by running headlines about a minor in order boost ratings/sales. No I think you hit the nail right on the head… those dirty-ass republicans! Let’s take a look at how each of your examples could have been handled better:
(1) The Governor should have denounced and/or abandoned her daughter and allowed the news to be “discovered” or “uncovered” byothers instead of expressing her love for her daughter despite her mistakes (another option- probably much more palateable to those of you who despise those “religious nutjobs”- would have been to send her to an undisclosed shmershmortion clinic to have a shmershmortion… morals, shmorals, we’re trying to win an election here!) (2) McCain should’ve kicked that bitch in the stomach, or better yet, not even acknowledged her… that would’ve sent a much clearer message,”I chose their mother as a running mate, but fuck her family!” (3) Who cares if noone had ever seen her- or her family- before the stunning announcement of this fairly unknown person to one of the highest offices in the nation… those fucking brats should’ve been in the nosebleeds. (4) Where does this cunt get off talking about her family from the stump? Noone EVER does that!!! Stick to the issues dumbass! (5) The gall of these people… you’re politicians! You would NEVER catch pros like Obama or Clinton on the cover of magazines talking about their families!
Again, I apologize for being so historically stupid… after all, nobody was making asinine comments before or after this news broke to the effect of “she should be at home taking care of her kids, not running for vice president”, so standing by her daughter in a troubling time may not have been the way to go. Nobody ever would have found out & the day before the biggest speech of her life to that point was easily the most convenient time to make such an announcement… and up to that point the media was objectively covering the election right down the line!
March 12th, 2009 at 8:57 pm
haven’t seen a flame war like this since the election. good times.
March 12th, 2009 at 8:58 pm
I read she was Palestinian or something like that. In other words, not white.
Arabs are white.
March 12th, 2009 at 9:04 pm
BaCsonkaDonk, I dated an Egyptian girl. She didn’t look white but then again I barely consider Italians white.
March 12th, 2009 at 9:09 pm
@UU then again I barely consider Italians white.
…especially not since the moors conquered Sicily
/am I lying?
//preparing to get shot.
March 12th, 2009 at 9:10 pm
@CW, nice True Romance reference.
March 12th, 2009 at 9:14 pm
You’re a cantaloupe.
March 12th, 2009 at 9:19 pm
Sorry UU the correct answer was ” I barely consider Italians human”
March 12th, 2009 at 9:20 pm
@TR; I also agree with you about the whole Teddy K thing… Laura Bush’s accident when she was 17 is nearly identical to Chappaquiddick! How could I have missed that?… & shouldn’t there be a statute of limitations for how long something can be brought up? I mean, it’s been nearly forty years since the man was directly responsible for the death of a human being, fled the scene ensuring their death, then had his daddy and his daddy’s lawyer cover the whole thing up and never faced any charges… get over it people, amirite?!? It’s not like he’s gone on to be a political icon and make decisions that affect our lives on a daily basis or something! That other bitch was responsible for decorating the White House and reading to kids for Christ’s sake… and people NEVER mention the car accident she was in when she was 17?!? THE INJUSTICE!!!
March 12th, 2009 at 9:27 pm
HORSEBOAT!!!
March 12th, 2009 at 9:36 pm
Who would’ve ever thought that a Travis Henry story could’ve started a poflawa?
Anyway… I loved that Henry spent “only” $250,000 on jewelry, and that, according to his lawyer, the exact same amount could catch him up on child support payments! It’s nice to know that he’s “tackling this head on”!!
March 12th, 2009 at 11:21 pm
dems didn’t in fact dispatch hordes of people to Alaska to dig up dirt on the Palins
Never fucking happened. A Republican myth.
it’s been nearly forty years since the man was directly responsible for the death of a human being, fled the scene ensuring their death
Bullshit. The man’s a doddering old drunk and probably should be imprisoned or forced to live in a box, but the idea that he “ensured their death” is stupid. Hell, the drunk tub of guts actually tried to swim down and save her. And even if he hadn’t, what was gonna help the situation? The fact that they were miles from any chance of help, of the fact that she was probably gone before he reached the shore?
Let’s take a look at how each of your examples could have been handled better
6) Don’t build your entire poltical belief structure, and your entire base of rabid political support, on some bullshit values that your own family can’t actually keep up.
March 12th, 2009 at 11:22 pm
Can’t we all just have a good laugh at Travis’ expense without the hurtful racial stereotypes? For every black athlete like Travis Henry there are at least ten like Lawrence Phillips.
March 12th, 2009 at 11:26 pm
Who would’ve ever thought that a Travis Henry story could’ve started a poflawa?
Well considering that YOU are the one who started it….
March 12th, 2009 at 11:41 pm
No no no no, those aren’t all his kids. They’re the Little Travis Henry Urban Achievers
March 13th, 2009 at 12:21 am
some folks say we’re supposed to be nice to our kids because they’re gonna pick our nursing home.
what’s travis’s tribe gonna do for him?
March 13th, 2009 at 1:16 am
@Facts… check again, the only point I was originally trying to make was that Bristol Palin’s baby is in no way comparable to this fucking jackass knocking up 9 or 10 different women then whining about his burden.
If you think that democrats made no attempt to dig up dirt on an opponent that caused an immediate, drastic swing in what was beginning to look like a landslide election then I truly feel silly even responding to you- because you may just be the most naive person I’ve ever come across in my life. Then… holymotherfuckingshitballsyougottabekiddingme… you went on to claim that Teddy heroically tried to SAVE Kopechne?!? Next are you gonna tell me that an extremely thorough investigation & autopsy completely exonerated him? C’mon man, grow the fuck up… that’s some serious blind (deaf & dumb too) party loyalty there.
Which “entire political belief structure” & “bullshit values that your own family can’t actually keep up” are you refering to? You libbies just LOVE to toss the ol’ “hipocrisy” accusation around, don’t you?… as if a failure to live up to a certain standard renders the standard itself obsolete. Okay, so her irresponsible daughter got herself knocked up, therefore, what… it serves as proof that her beliefs were wrong and that noone should ever again resist the undeniable virtue of teenage pre-marital sex? Is that really the way it works? One of her “bullshit values” is also that life begins at conception… wouldn’t it have been MUCH easier on her political career to just encourage her daughter to quietly kill the baby before anyone knew? (THAT would’ve been hipocrisy). See, that’s how it works with these mythical “values”… temptation to abandon them is always present, which makes it even more admirable (to those who share them, at least) when someone lives by them. Maybe you live in Pleasantville, but if I (or most people I know for that matter) was only permitted to maintain beliefs or values that every member of my family aspires to and lives by… I’d be one anarchy-loving mother fucker!
March 13th, 2009 at 1:40 am
I’m pretty sure $250K would buy a vasectomy, with enough left over for 10 tennis bracelets.
March 13th, 2009 at 2:19 am
AUpstate Underdog…Boatdrinks, does this person live in Schenectady, Albany or Troy?
Watertown.
By the way…how about those Syracuse Orange last night, er, tonight ?? What a fucking game !!!
March 13th, 2009 at 2:41 am
/sigh
There’s a reason why the newspapers separate the funnies and the politics.
March 13th, 2009 at 3:42 am
What is almost as funny as metal’s “this may be racist” is a bunch of rich, liberal, white fools talking about race issues when they have never stepped foot inside an inner city.
“White people do the same things!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Do you clowns even have black friends? (Aside from those who took Political Science with you.)
I could not disagree more with what metal said but you idiots who come out of the woodwork with your self righteous indignation are even worse than him. You speak from a position of absolute zero experience. Fact of the matter is amongst the black community, fathers abandoning their kids is a HUGE problem. Fuck, even your saviour Barack has said things along the same lines. Link me? Fuck you. Read his books.
Spend some time in areas where people make less than 50k+ you middle management tools. Then your safe, PC opinions will change.
TOM BRADY HAD A CHILD OUT OF WEDLOCK. THEREFORE, THE PROBLEM EXITS EVERYWHERE.
It is opinions like those that just perpetuate the problems
FUCK FACES.
March 13th, 2009 at 6:02 am
No no, you know what’s even better, all of you fucking loser dipshits posting all of the stupid bullshit that floats around in your heads that nobody gives a shit about on a fucking website. This isn’t a fucking debate board you worthless, worthless faggots. Wow guy, somebody posted a racist statement and you let him know what’s what, you heroic tough guy you!! And the 40 other people who responded after!!!
Hey, wow, how many times does, “You are a racist asshole Metal, it happens to all races” need to be posted BEFORE WE GET THE FUCKING POINT!!! I mean, to all the people who attacked that metal dude after th first 20 rip posts, you just had to post something to show you’re a big important cool guy huh, bra? I guess maybe you do, what lives do you have anyway? Really, I will donate $10 dollars and a can of tuna to your families if you all just please drive off a cliff or something.
If somebody started from the bottom of the comment boards for this site I can guarantee they would not think it’s a football website, they would think it’s a place where queers come together to verbally slap-fight over the internet. Suck a dick and die cunt flaps, but never forget how cool and tough you are because you wouldn’t let that guy get away with that comment , and you have the post to prove it. I’m sure the entire KSK staff is impressed, especially with you serial posters. Don’t worry, I’m sure Drew, Ape, UM or one of the guys will let you blow them one day. Hey, then maybe you can post that.
March 13th, 2009 at 6:19 am
Oh yeah, and since this is a FOOTBALL website, just know that Gregg Williams will get the Saint’s defense in the top 15 to go with the #1 offense in the league, and Pierre Thomas will finally give the Saints the TRUE running game they need to balance the offense and get the Saints back to the NFC Championship and maybe the Super Bowl. Save it ‘Skins fans, schemes don’t work everywhere. Oh yeah, and if anybody wants to post some conspiracy theory about the Saints making that run in ‘06 cause it was the first year back in New Orleans after Katrina (ala Patriots in ‘01, post-911), that’s already been done. Fuck off.
March 13th, 2009 at 7:22 am
/NEEDS MORE DICK JOKES!!! AMIRIGHT?
March 13th, 2009 at 7:30 am
I’m pretty sure $250K would buy a vasectomy
Can we chip in to buy one for Clayton here? Because, Lordy, that’s a strong strain of dumbassery that needs to be culled out of the gene pool.
March 13th, 2009 at 7:47 am
There’s a reason why the newspapers separate the funnies and the politics.
Yep. Otherwise you end up with an abortion like “Mallard Fillmore.”
March 13th, 2009 at 8:56 am
There’s a reason why the newspapers separate the funnies and the politics.
Yep. Otherwise you end up with an abortion like “Mallard Fillmore.”
P.S. – Sorry, forgot to tell you great post!
March 13th, 2009 at 9:06 am
Jesus Christ!! I had no idea this would spawn so much craziness cuz believe it or not I’m not to keyboard savvy and my ? was about why we don’t hear about more of the whiteys who do this ala Tom Brady. Of course white people abandon their children, but ya hardly ever hear about it via newspapers or televised news. I just posted my thing yesterday and went back to work. I didn’t check back til now and DAMN! Looks like I dun F’d up lol. However, anyone who is reading these comments and really getting pissed about things needs to take a look at some of the rongrastname posts cuz isn’t the whole purpose of this site to make fun of the crazy shit and crazier people in the nfl? Oh and anyone who wants to tell me I give Metallica a bad name without ever meeting me or talking music with me is well….. just silly lol. Metallica has one of the biggest fanbases in the fuckin’ world. What? you think all the fans are intelligent, PC, and tolerant? Remember all those “incredibly smart” Metallica fans who destroyed all their Met cds after napster? Those guys don’t give em a bad name at all, especially when they have to take their dumbasses back to the record store to rebuy Master of Puppets. Have you ever been to a Metallica concert. Damn even Travis Henry and Tom from Quincy knows that know one denies this!! All in good fun people, chill out.
March 13th, 2009 at 10:34 am
Metallica sucks. I dowloaded their shit on the interweb
March 13th, 2009 at 10:50 am
@Gino
How was Genghis Khan a pussy? The dude has 1 BILLION descendants! That’s a lot of fucking (well, raping, but anyway…)
March 13th, 2009 at 11:03 am
I think Travis Henry’s retardation is contagious, seeing as how he’s made nearly every one posting in this thread retarded.
/immune since I’m already retarded
//never go full retard
March 13th, 2009 at 11:09 am
@ Lars lol lol. Fine with me. I don’t think they’re hurting for money. I did see them in NOv of 08 and they still kick ass live!!!
March 13th, 2009 at 11:58 am
Not to defend the guy’s statement but…all you that posted pointing out Brady, Palin, whoever completely mised the point. Illegitimate kids happen…they just don’t happen 9 times, Mrs. Bueller. 9 times. That is superior idiocy we are talking about. Go after the guy for equating it to race, but come up with a few examples that are sort of in the same realm, like maybe 5 times.
March 13th, 2009 at 12:09 pm
What in the fuck happened here? Some people need to get laid more often.
March 13th, 2009 at 12:19 pm
I was going to say this was pretty funny up until people decided to get retarded in the comments. THAR’S POLITICS IN MY FOOZBALL.
Anyways, shut the fuck up. Thanks.
/Obligatory topical reference: Travis Henry: WRAP IT UP, B.
March 13th, 2009 at 1:50 pm
@ Lucky Like Little
You missed the point of my comment. Genghis Khan was a conqueror OF pussy, not a conqueror who inexplicably a pussy.
March 13th, 2009 at 4:45 pm
Fahkin DAAAAHKIE!!!
March 13th, 2009 at 6:40 pm
Wait, Travis Henry’s black?
March 14th, 2009 at 1:33 am
Politics. Race baiting. Blah blah blah. You are all SO 2008! Everybody knows that Democrats have sex scandals, and Republicans have money scandals — except when Democrats have money scandals, and Republicans have sex scandals. And, honestly, who really gives a fuck, anyway? If you do, than you’re lamer than that fucking idiot Travis Henry, because at least HE’S getting laid, and you sure as shit are not!
Speaking of which, I liked it better when everybody was piling on that fucking idiot Travis Henry, and all the other fucking idiots who apparently were too busy whacking off on Sex Education Day to learn about this little thing called birth control. The only thing better than being a fuckwad cockbrained dumbshit, is being a self-replicating fuckwad cockbrained dumbshit.
March 14th, 2009 at 3:42 am
I don’t see anything wrong with racism. Racism makes for good comedy. In addition, without racism, who could I blame for shit?
March 14th, 2009 at 9:39 pm
@BlowtheBlough
Faggots… duh!!