This Receiver Wanna Come Here and Crazy Up The Peezy Division
For a long time, we had a nice thing going here. The AFC East was a real sedate kind of place where Peezys and huckleberries could convene for gentlemanly facebanging and mouf fixing. Nice little corner of the league, even with them self-tainted Patriots stealing dynasties right up out from under my nose.
Nuh-uh. No more. The crazy done been let loose on the Peezy Heezy now that Buffalo went and got them a T.O. Just as soon as we drop a Brett Favre, we infested with the T.O. All I know is it ’bout to get all mediated up in my spot. Now, you know Peezy like to keep it low key. I keep my head down, I play my game, I fix a mouf or two. Can’t be having all this unnecessary courting of the media. It’s bad for the sports and gets moufs going in unappealing ways.
The arrival of T.O. poses a threat to this delicate balance. The balance gets upset, it’s only natural that it reflects itself in my behavior. I WON’T SEE THE PEEZY DIVISION BE ALL TURNED ON ITS HEAD!
THAT’S UPHEAVAL!
Never let it be said Peezy is an intolerant man. When Chad sent loving texts to Laveranues all during the season, Peezy didn’t say Nathan after calling him a faggy long-haired bitchswitch. Live and let live, y’know. Nobody allowed to judge nobody ‘cept God and maybe DMX.
That said, we can live with Terrell Owens. What we can’t live with is exhaustive coverage of all he doings. That’s why Peezy gotta lay down some ground rules for media that want to blow-uptuate my spot with round-the-clock T.O. coverage.
Peezy’s Test of T.O. Controversy Newsworthiness
1. Does the T.O. controversy involve Peezy?
2. If not, did Peezy tell you it was newsworthy? YOU MUST CHECK WITH PEEZY!
2b. Did you check with Peezy twice? ‘Cause sometime Peezy say things he takes back a few minutes later.
3. Could your coverage be better suited discussing Peezy and Peezy contract status?
4. I’mma still cut Brandon Marshall. Get that out there.
Consulting those four simple questions, we can keep the T.O. bidness from getting out of hand before Peezy is forced to fix the moufs of all the talking heads. What people don’t know is how much he takes outta me to fix you mouf. You mouf all dirty and shit, so I gotta take time to wash up afterward.
Together we can rein in the T.O. media circus and maintain order in the Peezy Division.
Oh yeah — WE WINNING THE DIVISION AGAIN AND T.O. AIN’T GETTING NO CATCHES AGAINST US! BECAUSE HE DO NOTHING BUT RUN THAT MOUF!
Tags: joey porter, peezy, xmas ape
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March 9th, 2009 at 1:55 pm
Nobody allowed to judge nobody ‘cept God and maybe DMX.
Nice, I was wondering which hack rapper Peezy would associate with
What is DMX up to these days anyway?
March 9th, 2009 at 1:59 pm
@ Stu: Arrests. Lots of arrests. And cocaine.
March 9th, 2009 at 2:01 pm
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/7862537.stm
Same thing Mike Vick is
March 9th, 2009 at 2:06 pm
Losing his mind. Up in here. Up in here.
March 9th, 2009 at 2:07 pm
Bitches always get you in trouble.
March 9th, 2009 at 2:13 pm
DMX looks like Eddie Murphy’s character from “Life” in that picture.
“Hey DMX! U gon eat yo coownbread?”
March 9th, 2009 at 2:21 pm
TO, you gon come across the middle into Peezy’s space? THAT’S DISRESPECT. PEEZY GON FIX YO MOUF!
March 9th, 2009 at 2:25 pm
Earl Simmons? That’s his real name? Earl? That poor kid.
March 9th, 2009 at 2:26 pm
“You mouf all dirty and shit, so I gotta take time to wash up afterward. ”
Did Peezy just redefine “clean hit?” WEBSTERS, FIX YO’ DEFINITION!
March 9th, 2009 at 2:32 pm
faggy long-haired bitchswitch
for the win.
March 9th, 2009 at 2:32 pm
new Peezy word of the day: blow-uptuate.
Honorable Mention: bitchswitch.
March 9th, 2009 at 2:38 pm
FIX YO’ SPELLING. Upheavel -> Upheaval
March 9th, 2009 at 2:55 pm
Damn Ape did you have to call my Marshall brethren a faggy long-haired bitchswitch.
March 9th, 2009 at 3:03 pm
Stew. DMX is in jail, and, was charged last week with assaulting a police officer, while in jail.
March 9th, 2009 at 3:10 pm
“DMX has been sentenced to 90 days in prison for theft, drug possession and animal cruelty offences.”
Good thing he wasn’t running a dog fighting ring, he might have gotten another 30 days.
March 9th, 2009 at 3:42 pm
“Blow-uptuate”? Did Peezy go to the Emmit Smith School of Diction??
YOU MUST CHECK WITH PEEZY!
A rule to live by.
March 9th, 2009 at 3:48 pm
KSK is runnin real slow right now. FIX YO’ SITE!!
March 9th, 2009 at 3:49 pm
Early last season, Joey Porter raped and murdered a Dolphins ball-boy for disrespectful eyebrow twitching using nothing more than his hands and a gun. The body was disposed of in the Everglades by Porter and Offensive Lineman Vernon Carey. Afterward, the pair ate four blooming onions from Outback Steakhouse and fondly recalled their night of felonies and tomfoolery.
True Story
March 9th, 2009 at 5:14 pm
I like Peezy’s counting method. I count five items. Peezy counts four. Hmmm. Laying low here in the division.
March 9th, 2009 at 7:14 pm
4. I’mma still cut Brandon Marshall. Get that out there.
Fucking Brilliant
Best part of any Steelers 2005 video, after the Colts win in the locker room Cowher talks about playing Denver next week and asks Peezy to keep his mouth shut Peezy responds
“Man, they shot me in Denver!!!”
FIX YO BRONCOS!!
March 10th, 2009 at 9:10 am
I like Peezy’s counting method. I count five items. Peezy counts four. Hmmm. Laying low here in the division.
Peezy comes from the Peter King School of Itemization.
f) And Bullet Points.