The Peter King Inside Joke Glossary
I’ve broken down all of Peter King’s MMQB columns from the past season. And, in doing so, I have inadvertently spun a highly dense and complex web of inane King terminology that may be difficult for you King neophytes (let’s call you Non-Elite Flyers) to parse. Well, I want to make damn sure that you don’t miss out on the glaring and pointless references I make to previous King columns. To that end, here now is a handy manual of frequent King terms for you to consult. Because we’d hate to have anyone miss out on a good Peter King mocking.
Land: Brett Favre’s one true passion. The thing he lives to work, often in his pick-up truck, which has only 8,000 miles on it.
Land Baron: Status attainted by those who have worked the land to King’s satisfaction.
Coffee-Flavored Water: Poorly made or weak coffee. Usually made at the Omni Penn hotel. This is the ultimate insult King can give any restaurateur, a withering putdown more damaging than any no-star Frank Bruni review. FIX YO COFFEE.
Jillian’s: Indianapolis chain restaurant that suffered the above rebuke and gave King $40 of free shit as a result. BEING A WRITER HAS PERKS YOU COULD NEVER DREAM OF.
Captial Grille: The Per Se of restaurants that give Peter free shit for being an idiot.
Clutch: Can be defined by any number of rotating players.
Loose: Can be defined by any number of rotating teams.
Concrete Cyanide: Compound first introduced to King by former coach Jon Gruden. Like Tim Tebow, it’s a deadly building block.
Chemistry: Abstract quality that cannot be defined or detected, but is totally important to any Super Bowl win.
Kit Kat: Precious chocolate and wafer substance that must be kept cool at all costs on any Continental Airlines flight.
Elite Flyer: One of the many things Peter King is that you are not.
Semi-Argument: An argument.
Quasi-Lebronish: Semi-outstandinglike.
Voice Mail: Precious recorded material that must be saved for years and played for others as a kind of audio slideshow.
Slavery: Something you can find out about if you visit lovely, scenic Nashville. Who knew that town had so much to offer?
Amazing Story: A relatively common occurrence that Peter finds extraordinary enough to tell you about. Want to hear an amazing story? A Lions scout once went up to Peter after seeing Matt Stafford throw the ball and said to him, “This kid could be good.” Unreal.
First Grade in Draftology 101: Odd hybrid of college course and elementary school homeroom.
Shampoo: Hair-cleansing substance that the Marriott Marquis has yet to get right.
Johnny Damon: Baseball player you will be compared to by Peter if you are Hispanic and play football. Know who looks like Johnny Damon? Tony Romo.
Brett Favre: Close personal friend of King. WORLD’S GREATEST HUMAN BEING.
Deer Stand: Something Favre will disappear into when the time is right. You’ll never see him again, until he gets bored of it.
Meadow: Where Favre should conduct all player interviews. No one tells lies in a meadow.
Lofty Words: Words designated as King to be more important than his usual words. True words.
Extortion: What movie producers do when they delay release dates. WHAT’S HAPPENING WITH HARRY POTTER 6 IS A CRIME ON PAR WITH GENOCIDE.
Driving: Tertiary task to be done while clipping toenails and talking on the Bluetooth to 70 different people.
Traffic: Unusual abundancy of cars on the road in such desolate places as New Jersey, I-95, and Florida.
Pittsburghish: Quasi-Farveish.
The Sun: Celestial body that merits your respect and fear.
Wedding: Something you should invite King to, lest he bitch about your snub in print.
PKWOTW: Fancy word King deploys improperly to dazzle easily impressed readership. Wisely discontinued of late.
Window: Thing you look out of to know for sure if your car is stopped.
Frank Caliendo: Funniest man on Earth.
Texas Death Match: Death Match.
Ugg Boots: Alarming new fashion trend.
Coldplay: Unflavored gelatin of rock music. Potential favorite King band and heir to U2’s non-rock throne, heretofore unknown to Peter until now.
Spicy Shrimp: Dish recommended by Peter.
Mitch Puin: The world’s kindest, most generous man. Peter King owes him, AND HE KNOWS IT. (see below)
Journalism: Speculation.
Anal Traits: Something that plagues Peyton Manning.
Shout-Outs: Trivial personal communications often thrown out during King columns. Like so: “Good for you, Tom Kendall. All bellhops should have your kind of dedication.”
Okay. Now that that’s out of the way, we’re ready to get right to this week’s Peter King column. Now the Kit Kat jokes will come into true focus!
I remember covering the New York Giants for Newsday from 1985 to ‘88 and getting into a loud discussion with GM George Young.
Use your glossary! This is a potential semi-argument right here.
Rex Ryan wants it bad.
Nothing makes my Monday morning quite like the mental image of Rex Ryan in heat. He’s molting chins!
Mind if I start with the recruiting story?
Oh, do go on.
And Bart Scott’s two German shepherds, Mater and McQueen?
I hope they don’t tie in somehow into Rex Ryan wanting it bad. Did Bart Scott really name one of his dogs after the Larry the Cable Guy truck in “Cars”? Can we take away his black person license for that? That movie was retarded.
Ryan walked into the house (at midnight), looked at Scott and said: “We want you. We’re here for you. We’re not leaving without you.” There was a plane coming at 8 in the morning to take Scott to the Jets’ facility in Florham Park, N.J., and Ryan told him he had to be on it.
“Talk about taking it back old-school!” Scott said. “I was getting recruited! They were recruiting me big-time! Can you see the precedent they’re setting? Remember Jerry McGuire? You’re going to have players asking their coaches now, ‘Why don’t we have that kind of relationship?’ ”
Indeed. Coach, why don’t you show up on my doorstep in the middle of the night and command me to go somewhere when I haven’t packed or made any kind of travel itinerary? That’s how real players should be treated.
The answer is (the Pats) didn’t get taken in the trade of Cassel and Mike Vrabel. Belichick did underplay his hand, but there were extenuating circumstances, some of which were intelligently reported over the weekend by Adam Schefter, Tom Curran, Chris Mortensen and Tim Graham.
“But not by me!”
Cutler, by the way, will make peace with McDaniels, who’s now coaching Denver. He has no choice, and he’s a reasonable kid.
Peter King, have you ever MET Jay Cutler? He’s as reasonable as an Egyptian coke dealer. Here’s how King apparently envisions Cutler’s reaction to the trade news:
Cutler: Well, I’m not pleased about the development, because I thought this team valued me for the long term. But I’m a professional, so I’m just going to put personal feelings aside, play to the best of my ability, and hopefully prove to the Broncos I’m the right guy to lead them.
Now here’s how Cutler actually reacted.
Cutler: (asks father to throw discarded insulin syringe at Pat Bowlen, moves bangs out of eyes, stomps out of team headquarters, keys Josh McDaniels’ car, refuses to answer voice mail)
The Chiefs now should have their quarterback of the future, assuming new coach Todd Haley’s as good a quarterback tutor as he appeared in Arizona the past couple of years.
Todd Haley coached two QB’s in Arizona: Kurt Warner, who already knew how to play the position; and Matt Leinart, who would rather attend Jason Mraz concerts with Nick Lachey and hand out Peach Schnapps to 14-year-olds for a quick fingerbang than study a playbook. Nice tutoring there.
I can tell you that the time on the screen of my MacBook Air was 12:00:06 (six seconds after midnight) when the phone rang in the Back Bay condo of agent Brad Blank Friday morning.
That’s how fancy Peter’s new computer is, people. It tells you the time RIGHT DOWN TO THE FUCKING SECOND. Yes, those are seconds denoted there. Lest you saw the 12:00:06 and thought to yourself, “What kind of crazy time is that? That’s one colon too many! Peter King must live on some kind of incredible futuristic Elite Flyer time!” And don’t forget: Peter also has a Blackberry Storm now. Oh, do you not have either of those luxury items? Pity. They are so choice. Maybe if you complained about coffee everywhere you went, you’d get further ahead in life.
I was in the upscale downtown Boston neighborhood with Blank.
Very upscale. JILLIAN’S upscale.
“You play with fire sometimes,” Blank said Sunday night, “and sometimes you get burned. I needed the Redskins. They pay people, and they pay people quick.”
And without reason, too!
It was written over the weekend that Haynesworth signed the first $100-million contract by a defensive player in league history, a contract that could jump to $115 million if he earned some incentives. That could happen. I could succeed Roger Goodell as commissioner of the NFL one day, too.
Actually, I could see that. Peter King, NFL commissioner! Improved coffee in every luxury box! Ice cold Kit Kats in every locker room! Garden variety liberal opinions posted in every stadium! Free GM jobs for his daughters! UGG BOOTS BANNED.
b. Fred Taylor, humble, helpful, classic unselfish vet, 115 carries this year. Perfect fit in Foxboro.
But he’s not white! By the way, here’s King a week ago:
Hunger. Taylor wants it bad.
Lotta people wanting things bad in King’s world. BUT NOT AS BAD AS KING WOULD LIKE TO SEE GRAN TORINO.
e. You tried on Houshmandzadeh, Seattle. Taking him up in a pontoon plane for a city tour and landing on Lake Washington and walking up on the dock to your practice fields. Cool stuff.
Kudos to you, Seatlle. You could be Nashville one day.
I’m dying to know what illegal substances the writers of Family Guy are on when they write that show.
Well Peter, I can tell you that illegal substance: Pirated DVD of VH1’s “I Love the 80’s!” Remember Shrinky Dinks! Those were crazy! Let’s do a flashback!
I’ll pay $50 to the first person who ends winter.
I bet a Chinaman could figure it out! Did he not consult Brett Favre’s copy of the Farmer’s Almanac for the end date? Hey, who knew winter in the Northeast extended all the way into March? It’s usually such an oppressively warm month.
Coffeenerdness: Mitch Puin, you threw me a lifesaver Sunday at the Upper Montclair Starbucks, and you know it. I owe you big time for rescuing me in my need-a-fix time when I was wallet-less and needed help getting through the checkout. Thank you.
MITCH PUIN: AMERICAN HERO. This could be the man who ends winter. Delivering cash to rich people when they’re in need of $4 coffee? Mitch, you can expect a gift basket of Kit Kats at your doorstep very, very soon. Unless those Kit Kats are delivered to Merril Hoge by accident.
Happy birthday, Marcy “Mike Ticey” Fost. How old are you? Sixteen?
I don’t know! Hey, here’s a lark! FUCKING ASK THE KID OVER EMAIL. And how thrilled would any teenage girl be to be compared to Mike Tice? Happy birthday, kid. You look like Al from “The Naked Gun”.
PETER KING WANTS YOU BAD.
Tags: Big Daddy Drew, FJM style, fun with peter king, ksk glossaries, loved him in riding on the bus with my sister, mitch puin might be the best name ever
March 2nd, 2009 at 11:52 am
That glossary defines clutch
March 2nd, 2009 at 11:52 am
Drew, you missed this gem: PK actually calls Marquise Hill a bust today. You know, because he drowned.
March 2nd, 2009 at 11:54 am
Peter King just put a bounty on winter.
Also, I remember Shrinky Dinks.
March 2nd, 2009 at 12:05 pm
Slothrop: Not as big a bust as Marquis Cooper!
March 2nd, 2009 at 12:06 pm
When black people have to go get their Black People License renewed, is the Black DMV staffed with surly, overweight white women?
March 2nd, 2009 at 12:12 pm
Mitch Puin, you threw me a lifesaver Sunday at the Upper Montclair Starbucks, and you know it. I owe you big time for rescuing me in my need-a-fix time when I was wallet-less and needed help getting through the checkout. Thank you.
So I’m guessing Mitch blew him?
March 2nd, 2009 at 12:15 pm
I don’t think I could possibly like anyone less than Peter King.
March 2nd, 2009 at 12:17 pm
Hey, if you’ve met one Marquis(e), you’ve met them all.
March 2nd, 2009 at 12:18 pm
PK doesn’t have a line of credit at that place? He’s their self-appointed best customer!
March 2nd, 2009 at 12:19 pm
Drew,
please do this feature for the Tuesday edition of MMQB…I want it bad!
March 2nd, 2009 at 12:21 pm
I think reading all that Peter King is bad for you. I don’t want you to end up in the hospital with an incurable case of jello-brain.
March 2nd, 2009 at 12:22 pm
Hunger. Peter King has it. For cock.
March 2nd, 2009 at 12:25 pm
Would King’s head explode if you told him Johnny Damon was actually half Thai?
March 2nd, 2009 at 12:26 pm
So can we make fun of the missing football players yet, or is it too soon?
Also, Peter King is a very bad writer.
March 2nd, 2009 at 12:27 pm
please do this feature for the Tuesday edition of MMQB
No chance. Mondays are torture enough, thank you.
March 2nd, 2009 at 12:29 pm
I’m sure Mitch Puin is thrilled that Peter King just told corporate that Mitch has been giving out free coffee.
Mitch Puin: Coffeeslinger!
March 2nd, 2009 at 12:33 pm
e. You tried on Houshmandzadeh, Seattle. Taking him up in a pontoon plane for a city tour and landing on Lake Washington and walking up on the dock to your practice fields. Cool stuff.
I’m convinced this cock-juggler only mentions shit that happens to other people in hopes of getting the same treatment one day.
Die in a fire you started by trying to plug you Mac Airbook into a shaky wall socket, PK.
March 2nd, 2009 at 12:33 pm
Unless those Kit Kats are delivered to Merril Hoge by accident.
Merril Hoge isn’t in the glossary. I don’t get it!
March 2nd, 2009 at 12:34 pm
“I could succeed Roger Goodell as commissioner of the NFL one day, too”
Ohh Peter! We just love your humble little anecdotes.
March 2nd, 2009 at 12:38 pm
Meadow: Where Favre should conduct all player interviews. No one tells lies in a meadow.
Except “I promise I won’t stick it in the butt, Brett”
March 2nd, 2009 at 12:43 pm
I can’t believe you guys missed the most important line of the article. Matt Cassel is apparently one of the top 10 QB’s in the league……..WHAT THE FUCK!?!?! That might be the funniest thing I have ever read coming from Peter King.
March 2nd, 2009 at 1:00 pm
“BEING A REALLY SHITTY WRITER HAS PERKS YOU COULD NEVER DREAM OF”
/fixed
“Delivering cash to rich people when they’re in need of $4 coffee?”
Only earned $4 did we Peter? Next time you need to swallow the gravy and maybe you’ll earn the full cost of a Starbucks $8 coffee.
March 2nd, 2009 at 1:05 pm
Matt Cassel is apparently one of the top 10 QB’s in the league
It sounds like an idiotic opinion, until you actually try and name 10 better QB’s.
March 2nd, 2009 at 1:08 pm
It sounds like an idiotic opinion, until you actually try and name 10 better QB’s.
What about Colt McCoy? HE WAS THE PRESEASON MVP, COOOOCH
March 2nd, 2009 at 1:09 pm
Is this Jillian’s from Indianapolis the same Dave-&-Buster’s-type-place that is all over the country? I assume PK goes to the Scouting Combine every year, and he STILL cannot find a better place to hang out there?
March 2nd, 2009 at 1:09 pm
Fuck me, I meant Colt Brennan.
March 2nd, 2009 at 1:12 pm
Manning, Manning, Brady, Roethlisberger, McNabb, Warner, Cutler, Rivers, Brees, Romo, Rodgers(despite my moniker), Delhomme….and that is all could come up with in the 10 seconds I bothered to think about it. Not even close. Give any of those guys Brady and Welker and a video game offense and they would put up better numbers than Cassel.
March 2nd, 2009 at 1:12 pm
Am I the only one who would much rather have Cutlerfucker then Casselhoff?
March 2nd, 2009 at 1:13 pm
It sounds like an idiotic opinion, until you actually try and name 10 better QB’s.
Especially when you look at this list of top ten QBs.
Number two is Marmalard, and Pennington, Schaub and Cutler all make the list.
March 2nd, 2009 at 1:13 pm
DOH!! I meant Moss instead of Brady.
March 2nd, 2009 at 1:14 pm
“It sounds like an idiotic opinion, until you actually try and name 10 better QB’s.”
So in a 10 team FFL league, you’d be happy with him as a #1 QB playing for KC?
Brady, Pey Pey, Brees, Romo, Ben Rongrastname, Palmer, Warner, McNabb, Rivers, Rodgers and Ryan are 11. I didn’t even have to try and decide if Gus JackFeld was worth comparing.
March 2nd, 2009 at 1:14 pm
Delhomme is better? Did you watch the playoffs?
Put Ryan or Palmer in there.
March 2nd, 2009 at 1:16 pm
Manning, Manning, Brady, Roethlisberger, McNabb, Warner, Cutler, Rivers, Brees, Romo, Rodgers(despite my moniker), Delhomme
First, I guess the usual criticism of Cassel that he played with Randy Moss doesn’t apply to any of these guys. Not Brady, who never played with Randy Moss, or any of these other douchebags who clearly had no receivers to speak of. (McNabb gets a pass. That guy got it done with Todd Pinkston.)
Second, if you’re seriously going to include Jake Delhomme on a list of top ten QBs, I’m done listening.
March 2nd, 2009 at 1:17 pm
That said, I’m not sure I believe Cassel is top ten. Maybe down at the bottom there.
I had Carson Palmer in fantasy this year. He can suck it.
March 2nd, 2009 at 1:21 pm
I’m not saying Cassel is definitely top ten. I’m just saying it’s not an unreasonable argument. Christ, am I defending Peter King and a former Patriot? Never mind. You win. He blows.
March 2nd, 2009 at 1:22 pm
Delhomme was my 12th pick that I thought of in about 10 seconds. Thinking about it a little longer, I would take Matty Ice, Palmer and Joe Flacco before Jake the Fake but I would still take him above Cassel. Last I checked, Jake still took a team to the Super Bowl, made the playoffs last year while the best Cassel could do is take an 19-0, sorry I mean 18-1 team with the best offense in NFL history, and go 11-5 with the easiest schedule in the league. Sorry that just doesnt cut it.
March 2nd, 2009 at 1:23 pm
also, Fargo is such a great movie that PK walks in about twenty minutes from the movie’s end AND WATCHES THE WHOLE THING. That movie defines intense. PK defines dedication.
March 2nd, 2009 at 1:25 pm
Christ, am I defending Peter King and a former Patriot? Never mind. You win. He blows.
Yeah, I had the same sickening realization. Even though he’s a Chief now, I don’t want to defend PK’s opinion. Ever.
March 2nd, 2009 at 1:26 pm
Top ten QBs by rating in 2008:
1 P. Rivers QB, SDG
2 C. Pennington QB, MIA
3 K. Warner QB, ARI
4 Drew Brees QB, NOR
5 P. Manning QB, IND
6 A. Rodgers QB, GNB
7 M. Schaub QB, HOU
8 Tony Romo QB, DAL
9 J. Garcia QB, TAM
10 M. Cassel QB, NWE
Delhomme: 18th, Roethlisberger: 24th
March 2nd, 2009 at 1:30 pm
Listen, Stu, people can come up with statistics to prove anything. 14% of people know that.
March 2nd, 2009 at 1:33 pm
Oh, oh, oh post QB efficiency ratings next, I LUV those!!
March 2nd, 2009 at 1:35 pm
Oh, oh, oh post QB efficiency ratings next, I LUV those!!
I believe that’s what passer ratings are.
March 2nd, 2009 at 1:38 pm
Drew, I’m sorry. I can’t read these breakdowns anymore. King seriously gives me a headache, my eyes cross, and I’m pretty sure my IQ just dropped a few points.
March 2nd, 2009 at 1:38 pm
@Drew – you missed one off the injokes list, and that is “Donnie Brasco”. It barely counts as a joke, but then neither does most of the other shit PK spews, so it deserves entry. Furthermore:
“Why Belichick not only didn’t try hard to get Kansas City’s first-round pick instead of its second — but also why he actually prefers the 34th pick to the third overall.”
I don’t even need to read further to know that this is more of PK’s shit because who – WHO – would give up #3 and a near-guaranteed win for #34? Oh wait, I forgot…fucking egomaniacs like PK and fucking Belichick. God I hate the Patriots.
Also: Manning Sr., Manning Jr., Dreamboat, Matty Ice, Brees, Marmalard, Cutlerfucker, Flacco (shameless homer pick) and Rongrastname off the top of my head. Probably McNabb and Schaub as well, because how much of Casselhoff’s (one of the better nicknames produced in the recent past, by the by) production is thanks to Mossy and Welkah? Lots, probably.
March 2nd, 2009 at 1:40 pm
2008 playoff performance:
Delhomme – eleventy picks, 1 face that looked like he swallowed his own vomit
Roethlissomething – 1 Super Bowl winning drive
Also Drew, I hope you’re not expecting any PK-style freebies for name-dropping the CapTIal Grille.
March 2nd, 2009 at 1:45 pm
Jeeez Stu, why so serious?
March 2nd, 2009 at 1:54 pm
…………….slowy painfuly slashes my wrists wth Peter King approved Swiss Army knife………. no enough strength to stab my eyes out
March 2nd, 2009 at 1:55 pm
This week on “Peter King: Accidental Journalist” we’ll follow Peter as he gives us an insider’s look at the NFL free-agency signing period through the eyes of Chris Canty and his agent. Watch as Peter:
- Witnesses direct violations of NFL free agency rules in the signing of DE Chris Canty but chooses not to report on them, deciding instead to coddle his sources.
- Provides his readers a list of “interested” teams that almost certainly were tampering in Canty’s signing several paragraphs later, anyway.
- Ignores that Vinny Cerrato has secret-service informants tipping him off about President Obama’s whereabouts.
- Fails to notice that Canty agent Brad Blank’s negotiating strategy consists of sitting in front of the TV and hoping the Redskins call back with an overbid for Canty, making him kind of the Peter King of player agents.
- Reports only the full-term number of Canty’s contract, leaving the reader guessing as to whether his agent benefited his client with his tactics, or harmed him.
- Later criticizes his media colleagues for only reporting full-term numbers when reporting on contract signings, saying they do not reflect its economic value.
Next week: Peter attempts pay his $250 chips-and-salsa tab by playing his waiter a voice-mail message of a confused Matt Millen thinking he’s calling a busty girls chat line.
March 2nd, 2009 at 2:08 pm
So, uh when can Chiefs fans start acting like douchebags?
Perhaps “Jay from Overland Park?” A sad mix of “fatty basketball jersey Heyeryee Redskins fan,” PK’s d-bag suburban chic, and the KU frat boy version of Taawmy (his skoal is “apple blend”). Activities include working for his dad’s suburban sprawl development company, getting the bbq sauce out of his north face, and bitching at his girlfriend who he only refers to as “babe” for getting fat while he is an obese pig.
March 2nd, 2009 at 2:10 pm
So, uh when can Chiefs fans start acting like douchebags?
We weren’t allowed to do that already? Did I jump the gun on this?
March 2nd, 2009 at 2:10 pm
Jeeez Stu, why so serious?
BECAUSE I’M BUSY WINNING AN INTERNET ARGUMENT!! HUH? WHAT? HUH? FUCK YOU!
March 2nd, 2009 at 2:31 pm
SOMEONE END THE WINTER SO I CAN LAY IN A MEADOW AND WATCH BRETT WORK THE LAND
March 2nd, 2009 at 2:35 pm
Next fantasy team – “Matt Leinart’s Quick Fingerbang”
March 2nd, 2009 at 3:12 pm
Peter King Cockslobberer: Tonight at 8, only on CBSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.
March 2nd, 2009 at 3:26 pm
I don’t care about “best quarterbacks,” but I would like a list (with pictures, of course) of the 10 hottest quarterbacks.
Let’s take a look at this Cassel fellow (Googles “Cassel quarterback) – eh, doable. I don’t know if I’d put him in the Top 10.
March 2nd, 2009 at 4:04 pm
replace the words ”joke Glossary” with ”Brett Favre” and the head line still makes sense
March 2nd, 2009 at 4:26 pm
Perhaps “Jay from Overland Park?”
What’d I do? I mean, I’m all for acting like a douchebag
March 2nd, 2009 at 7:12 pm
“Todd Haley coached two QB’s in Arizona: Kurt Warner, who already knew how to play the position; and Matt Leinart, who would rather attend Jason Mraz concerts with Nick Lachey and hand out Peach Schnapps to 14-year-olds for a quick fingerbang than study a playbook. Nice tutoring there.”
Tyler Thigpen’s stashing cases of Smirnoff Ice in the back of his Suburban…you know, just in case.
“So, uh when can Chiefs fans start acting like douchebags?
Perhaps “Jay from Overland Park?” A sad mix of “fatty basketball jersey Heyeryee Redskins fan,” PK’s d-bag suburban chic, and the KU frat boy version of Taawmy (his skoal is “apple blend”). Activities include working for his dad’s suburban sprawl development company, getting the bbq sauce out of his north face, and bitching at his girlfriend who he only refers to as “babe” for getting fat while he is an obese pig.”
Tech N9ne, I like your style. Thiggy’s got a cold one in his Suburban for you too…
March 2nd, 2009 at 7:44 pm
Matt Cassell …. proceeded to have one of the best seasons of any quarterback in football. He was eighth in the league with 3,693 passing yards and 10th with an 89.4 quarterback rating.
Peter King 2/28/2009
March 2nd, 2009 at 8:55 pm
Hatey McLife Says:
March 2nd, 2009 at 12:25 pm
Would King’s head explode if you told him Johnny Damon was actually half Thai?
Johnny Damon looks like Tiger Woods!
March 2nd, 2009 at 11:49 pm
Peter King’s Sansabelt slacks define clutch.
March 3rd, 2009 at 12:55 pm
If Mitch Puin hosted American Idol, would he close the show by saying “Pu-out!”?
March 4th, 2009 at 10:32 am
On 2/28/09, Matt Cassel was born from the Dynastic Womb with Scott Pioli as midwife.
/stuck with a horrible image of Belichick with a large smega-dripping vagina
March 4th, 2009 at 11:08 am
“This is the worst team, talent-wise, I’ve ever played for”
Yes, Fred Taylor – what a guy! he’s downright Favre-ian in his graciousness!
March 31st, 2009 at 8:33 am
This is never easy.