Suggested Titles For Michael Vick’s Manuscript
This week the AJC reported that in addition to switching defense attorneys, Michael Vick has been busy penning a book during his time in prison. The former Falcon is still looking for a co-author for project, so we figured we’d toss our collective hat in the ring. What follows is a list of our suggested book titles that should show Vick just how serious we are about this whole enterprise. There will be rape stand jokes.
Mexican Psycho
If I Did It…Ah Fuck, Yeah I Did It
Everyone Makes Mistakes
Little Bitches
White Fang
The Red Badge of Dog Blood
One Flew Over the Fighting Pit
How Much is That Doggie in the Window and How Quickly Can I Strip of His Loving, Docile Demeanor and Turn Him into a Vicious Killing Machine With a Taste for Flesh?
To Kill a Fighting Dog
All Dogs Go To The Rape Stand
Slaughterhouse-Fido
If It Ain’t A Pit, It Ain’t Shit
Why Michael Jenkins is to Blame For This Entire Mess
Rin Tin TKO
I Might Have Misunderstood the Phrase ‘Hangdog Expression’
Mike’s Adventures In Jenkem Land
Marley and His Opponent and Me
101 Dalmatians with Their Throats Ripped Out
Four Legs And A Funeral
What We Did When We Didn’t Feel Like Playing Tiger Woods
Dead Dogs Tell No Tails
I Know Why the Caged Dog Howls (Because I Electrocuted Its Balls)
No Exit: And Three Other Stories About The Torture Room
Oedipus Rex and Other Dogs I Killed
The Killing of a Chinese Ookie
Howl and Other Poems About Dog Rape
The Rape Stand In the Rye
Dogtown and C-Block
Doghouse versus Big House — WHO YA GOT?
Everything is Illuminated (Because Otherwise You Couldn’t See the Dogs Fight)
The Canine Pugilist at Rest
Turner vs. Hooch
Air Bud 6: Ultimate Fighter
Milo and Otis’ Severed Claw
Lassie Come Fight
Add your own in the comments.
March 25th, 2009 at 10:30 am
See Spot Run
March 25th, 2009 at 10:33 am
My Long Awaited Revenge against PETA
March 25th, 2009 at 10:35 am
Dead Dog Millionaire
March 25th, 2009 at 10:35 am
What We Did When We Didn’t Feel Like Playing Tiger Woods
and
Air Bud 6: Ultimate Fighter were my favorites.
March 25th, 2009 at 10:37 am
Three can keep a secret if two are dead
March 25th, 2009 at 10:37 am
Pet Sematary 3
March 25th, 2009 at 10:38 am
Million Dollar Puppy
March 25th, 2009 at 10:38 am
The Silence of the Labs
March 25th, 2009 at 10:39 am
What’d You Say, Bitch?
March 25th, 2009 at 10:40 am
I Know Where the Red Fern Grows 2: The Mass Burial Site
March 25th, 2009 at 10:40 am
No Rape Stand for Old Dogs
March 25th, 2009 at 10:40 am
Run Spot Run!
March 25th, 2009 at 10:40 am
The Not-So-Talented-Enough-That-I-Didn’t-Electrocute-His-Ass Mr. Fido
March 25th, 2009 at 10:42 am
Lock, Stock, and Two Barrels Filled With Dead Dogs
March 25th, 2009 at 10:42 am
Fight Club- The Canine Chronicles
March 25th, 2009 at 10:43 am
The Day the Dog Lied Still
March 25th, 2009 at 10:44 am
Catcher in the Rape Stand
March 25th, 2009 at 10:44 am
Beethoven’s 86′d
March 25th, 2009 at 10:44 am
Old Yeller Got Too Old to Fight No More
March 25th, 2009 at 10:48 am
Das Pooch
March 25th, 2009 at 10:50 am
The Bad Newz Dawgs
March 25th, 2009 at 10:51 am
Back to Football – With The Most Electrocuting Player in History
March 25th, 2009 at 10:51 am
Crouching Tiger, Bodyslammed Pooch
March 25th, 2009 at 10:52 am
a tale of two rape stands?
March 25th, 2009 at 10:52 am
Dog-Slay Afternoon
March 25th, 2009 at 10:54 am
Raging PitBull
/I could do this all day
/beats work
/dick joke
March 25th, 2009 at 10:57 am
Rape Stand By Me
March 25th, 2009 at 10:58 am
Seven Dogs for Seven Brothers
March 25th, 2009 at 10:59 am
Brokenbacked Mountain. Of Dead Dogs.
March 25th, 2009 at 10:59 am
The Hound Of Monte Rape-Stand
March 25th, 2009 at 11:07 am
The Hanging of Bitch-49
March 25th, 2009 at 11:07 am
This reminds me, why were snuff films not part of the nasty fetish tournament?
/A Million Little Pieces,of Fido
//Who Let The Dogs Out?
March 25th, 2009 at 11:11 am
The House Rape-Stand Built
March 25th, 2009 at 11:12 am
There Will Be Blood… If You Are A Canine.
March 25th, 2009 at 11:14 am
Killer Killed Nibbles: A Practical Guide to Murdering Dogs With Other Dogs
March 25th, 2009 at 11:16 am
Dogs of the Crypt
BlackDog Down
Dog Torino
Tomorrow Never Dies, but Spot does
The Sisterhood of the Traveling Rapestand
March 25th, 2009 at 11:18 am
The Lady and the Tramp and the Rape Stand
March 25th, 2009 at 11:18 am
Eternal Sunshine of the Spot-Less Mind
March 25th, 2009 at 11:21 am
Not all dogs go to heaven
March 25th, 2009 at 11:22 am
12 Angry Bitches
March 25th, 2009 at 11:23 am
Marley and Rapestand
March 25th, 2009 at 11:25 am
Eight Dogs in a Duffel Bag
March 25th, 2009 at 11:26 am
Coauthored by Big Daddy Drew Balls:
‘Men with Dogs, The Professional Athlete’s Guide to Putting Your Career on the Rape Stand’
March 25th, 2009 at 11:26 am
Tuesdays With Mauling
March 25th, 2009 at 11:27 am
Must Rape Dogs
March 25th, 2009 at 11:27 am
Also, Ron Quixote
March 25th, 2009 at 11:27 am
//Kudos (Kujos) to Das Pooch.
March 25th, 2009 at 11:28 am
No Country for Dead Dogs
March 25th, 2009 at 11:29 am
No Country For Old Dogs
March 25th, 2009 at 11:29 am
damn it lafavre
March 25th, 2009 at 11:29 am
Ike Turner and Hooch
March 25th, 2009 at 11:29 am
You Dead Dawg
I’m going to fuck you doggie style until you love me and then kill you
Syphillitic Dog – Ron Mexico’s Journey
March 25th, 2009 at 11:30 am
The (Rape)Stand
March 25th, 2009 at 11:31 am
And You Will Know Us By the Trail of Dead… Puppies
March 25th, 2009 at 11:31 am
The Shaggy DNA
March 25th, 2009 at 11:32 am
Old Yeller – because the bitch is being electrocuted
March 25th, 2009 at 11:32 am
Homeward Bound and Gagged
March 25th, 2009 at 11:33 am
T3: Rise of the Dog-Electrocuters
March 25th, 2009 at 11:33 am
Lady and the Tap Out
March 25th, 2009 at 11:34 am
Airborn Bud
March 25th, 2009 at 11:34 am
Murder, She Barked
March 25th, 2009 at 11:35 am
What’s Eating The Dog Just Raped?
March 25th, 2009 at 11:35 am
Kill It ‘N Grill It (A Cookbook)
March 25th, 2009 at 11:36 am
Hitchhiker’s Guide to Dogkilling
How to Kill Dogs and Influence Bitches
Rochelle Rochell – A young bitch’s lethal Journey from the pound to Mike Vick’s house
March 25th, 2009 at 11:36 am
Does Michael Vick Have to Choke a Bitch?
March 25th, 2009 at 11:36 am
The Dogkiller Proxy
March 25th, 2009 at 11:37 am
Clifford the Big Red Stain
March 25th, 2009 at 11:39 am
Scooby Dead – I admit that’s weak and obvious
March 25th, 2009 at 11:39 am
Even Dog-killing Multi-millionaire Quarterbacks Get the Blues
March 25th, 2009 at 11:40 am
Otto:
+1 for Ike Turner and Hooch
March 25th, 2009 at 11:41 am
All Electrocuted Dogs Go to Heaven
March 25th, 2009 at 11:41 am
Otto:
+1 for Ike Turner and Hooch
Thanks. I was hoping someone would like that. It’s all downhill for me after that one.
March 25th, 2009 at 11:41 am
Catch 22(Dogs and Kill/Rape ‘Em)
March 25th, 2009 at 11:42 am
Dogs With Balls: The Professional Dogfighter’s Handbook
/Nevermind, no one will get that obscure reference.
March 25th, 2009 at 11:43 am
Remember when My Brother was the Biggest Fuck-up?
March 25th, 2009 at 11:44 am
Buttrape Isn’t As Cool As It Sounds
March 25th, 2009 at 11:44 am
Otto
Downhill my ass, Homeward Bound and Gagged cracked me up!
March 25th, 2009 at 11:47 am
Bubba and LeRoy: A Convicts Tale of Forbidden Love
March 25th, 2009 at 11:47 am
Poocho Libre
March 25th, 2009 at 11:48 am
The (G)rapestand of Wrath
March 25th, 2009 at 11:49 am
K-9 MM to the Brain
March 25th, 2009 at 11:57 am
Dead Dogs Can’t Jump
March 25th, 2009 at 12:00 pm
Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Killing Dogs But Were Afraid To Ask
March 25th, 2009 at 12:00 pm
The Dark Night (When I Killed 22 Dogs)
March 25th, 2009 at 12:03 pm
Mr. Home Depot Man on Fire
March 25th, 2009 at 12:03 pm
An Idiot’s Guide to Rape Stands
March 25th, 2009 at 12:06 pm
Fahrenheit 1800
March 25th, 2009 at 12:07 pm
Great Dane Expectations
March 25th, 2009 at 12:11 pm
(Car Battery) On Golden Retreiver
March 25th, 2009 at 12:15 pm
Is Michael Vick Gonna Have To Choke A Bitch?
March 25th, 2009 at 12:15 pm
I am going to fucking kill you, Purnell, Quanis, and Tony.
-It’s a 1 page pamplet
March 25th, 2009 at 12:16 pm
On The Rapestand… (because they weren’t Contenders!)
March 25th, 2009 at 12:16 pm
*pamphlet moron
March 25th, 2009 at 12:20 pm
Watchmen kill dogs
March 25th, 2009 at 12:21 pm
The Pit bull and the rape stand Pendulum
March 25th, 2009 at 12:22 pm
collaberated with will leitch:
God Save the Dog: how annoying dogs, rape stands, and jenkem made me happier than ever (and how they can make you happy too!)
March 25th, 2009 at 12:26 pm
Every Dog has His Day to Get to Get Punched in the Nuts
It’s long, I know.
March 25th, 2009 at 12:28 pm
heavyweight killers
atlanta pride
the cable around a puppys neck guy
killerman: the legand of ron mexico
kicking and screaming puppies
the 4 year old rape stand virgin
richmond nights: the ballad of mike vick
knocked up on the rape stand
walk hard over a pile of dogs
superbark
drillbit vick
forgetting sarah that bitch i just killed
dead puppy express
year one in prison
/close judd apatows wikipedia page
March 25th, 2009 at 12:28 pm
R is For Rapestand
The Brothers Killthedogzov
March 25th, 2009 at 12:31 pm
now you can die in pieces-foreword by bill simmons
March 25th, 2009 at 12:38 pm
Pride and Prejudice
March 25th, 2009 at 12:42 pm
SOS
+1 for Dostoevsky
March 25th, 2009 at 12:43 pm
Indiana Bones and the Rapestand of Doom
March 25th, 2009 at 12:43 pm
Butt Hash? But why not?
Snitches (and Snitchin’ Muthafuckas who Snitched Me Out)
Who Lookin’ Out for Ookie?
March 25th, 2009 at 12:45 pm
dead animal house
March 25th, 2009 at 12:49 pm
the last temptation of mike
March 25th, 2009 at 12:58 pm
Ookie’s Honor
Dead Dog Day Afternoon (and morning, and night)
Where the Red Fern Dies
March 25th, 2009 at 12:58 pm
Title: The Day No Pigs Would Die
Sub-Title: But Plenty of Bitches Will!
March 25th, 2009 at 12:59 pm
shock and paw
March 25th, 2009 at 1:08 pm
My Life in Dog Corpses
Too Many Puppies
Ring Around the Rosie, Pocket Full of Dog Teeth
March 25th, 2009 at 1:08 pm
The Last Dog House On The Left
March 25th, 2009 at 1:09 pm
A History of Violence….Towards Dogs
March 25th, 2009 at 1:20 pm
Rape Man.
March 25th, 2009 at 1:24 pm
A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Dogrape
March 25th, 2009 at 1:28 pm
It needs a tie-in.
Bolt Would Have Been A Bad Motherfucker If He’d Been In My Kennel.
foreword by Miley Cyrus.
March 25th, 2009 at 1:31 pm
Hangin’ Dogs with Mr. Cooper
March 25th, 2009 at 1:39 pm
The Rape Gatsby
March 25th, 2009 at 1:48 pm
Ghost Dog: Way of the Staffordshire Bull Terrier
March 25th, 2009 at 1:53 pm
Who Aired the Dogs Out?
March 25th, 2009 at 2:14 pm
Dr. Strangelove: Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying andLove Being Bent Over a Rape Stand in a Kansas Prison.
March 25th, 2009 at 2:42 pm
Pup Fuction.
March 25th, 2009 at 3:12 pm
Milo kills Otis
March 25th, 2009 at 3:16 pm
I too would like to add my +1 to you Otto for Ike Turner & Hooch. That was inspired.
/should have checked back with this thread sooner
/dick joke.
March 25th, 2009 at 3:20 pm
Counting Bodies like Dogs
March 25th, 2009 at 3:44 pm
Seven
March 25th, 2009 at 3:51 pm
William Faulkner could write a rape stand gag that’d really make you think.
March 25th, 2009 at 4:00 pm
Behind The Laughter: Huckleberry Hound
“I was SO gay, but I couldn’t tell anyone!”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nyZs3EJgx8Q
March 25th, 2009 at 4:21 pm
FIX YO PUPPY
March 25th, 2009 at 4:39 pm
McGruff’s Cold Case Files:
Scooby Doobie Doo, I’ll Kill You
Hong Kong Phooey’s Island of Death
Droopy Dog’s Drug Cartel
Santa’s Little Helper and the Missing Ray Stevens Album
March 25th, 2009 at 4:48 pm
Chicken soup for the dog fighters soul.
Clifford the big red stain made me spit water everywhere. I’m really glad I’m alone…
March 25th, 2009 at 4:55 pm
Toto, I Have A Feeling We’re Still In Leavenworth, Kansas
March 25th, 2009 at 4:59 pm
It needs a tie-in.
Bolt Would Have Been A Bad Motherfucker If He’d Been In My Kennel.
foreword by Miley Cyrus.
Hannah Mountana?
March 25th, 2009 at 5:10 pm
Benji the Hunted
March 25th, 2009 at 6:30 pm
The Dog Vick Bleeds Code
March 25th, 2009 at 8:37 pm
Come On! Method Man Did It Too in “The Wire”!: The Michael Vick Story.
March 25th, 2009 at 8:47 pm
An Idiots Guide To The Rape Stand
Rape Stand’s for Dummies
March 25th, 2009 at 9:47 pm
Don’t Be A Menace To Atlanta While Drowning Your Pooch in the Tub
The Aristocrats
March 25th, 2009 at 10:04 pm
For Whom The Rape Stand Tolls
March 26th, 2009 at 12:35 am
A Time to Kill Dogs
March 26th, 2009 at 12:37 am
Napalm and Silly Puppies
March 26th, 2009 at 2:42 am
The Dogfather. (w/ a forward by Snoop Dogg)
Barkface.
Pups and Circumstance.
Rendition for the Rotweiller Within.
The Ookie Horror Picture Show.
Dog of the Dead.
Raiders of the Lost Bark.
The Last Train to Barksville.
Bark Hard.
March 26th, 2009 at 3:57 am
Clash of the Terriers
To Kill a Mastiff
A Pooch Collapse Now
Schindler’s Labrador
March 26th, 2009 at 4:32 am
Dead Animal House
I like dead dogs and I cannot lie
Intolerable Cruelty to Dogs
Harry Potter and the Dog Killer
South Bark
Dead Dogs Don’t Dance
um, why am i still up? oh yeah, i have a research study to finish and instead am wasting time on this site
March 26th, 2009 at 9:30 am
A day all dogs must die
Pinschers and Prejudice
The Thin Red Line, of electrical wire tied around my pitbull’s neck
10,000 Dogs Under the Yard
The Brothers Vick
The Curse of the Golden Retriever
Must Kill Dogs
The Orient Express… Restaurant Left me a Message
/sees self out
March 26th, 2009 at 10:35 am
Bolt: the Electrocuted Dog
March 26th, 2009 at 12:05 pm
hahahha, The Silence of the Labs. that’s great.