Rams Receiver Decries Domestic Abuse, To a Point
HOUSTON — St. Louis Rams receiver Donnie Avery yesterday spoke out against the ills of domestic violence, but stopped short of making a true condemnation of the horrendous act that many believe is all-too pervasive in communities of concentrated disadvantage.
“Yeah, I mean, it’s a terrible thing. Been in the news a bunch since the Rihanna stuff came out,” Houston native Avery said. “It’s something I try to speak out against.”
He said domestic abuse is a phenomenon that affects people of all backgrounds, but crops up especially in economically distressed areas.
“Unfortunately you’d see it all the time around here growing up. It’s something I wish wasn’t part of the community, but it’s a sad fact of life. Luckily it’s not something I experienced in my home, but if I know it’s going on, I’m gonna put a stop to it.”
When asked by a reporter how he would do so, Avery replied that he would call the police.
Asked what if it were a situation in which the police could not arrive fast enough to resolve the problem, he said, “I might try to intervene myself.”
When pressed about a scenario in which he tried to intervene, but the attacker was armed and he was not, Avery answered, “Look, man, what does this have to do with me? I’ve never done that stuff.”
A review of Avery’s criminal records reveals that he has not yet been arrested on any assault charges. Nor, however, does it indicate that he has put a stop to any domestic assaults that were in progress. Criminology experts say that could be just as bad.
The receiver registered 53 receptions for 674 yards and caught three scores in 2008, his first in the NFL, though his achievements clearly didn’t give him the confidence needed to take a stand on demonstrably abhorrent behavior. Calls made to the Rams’ front office inquiring as to why they’d keep so craven a coward on their roster were not returned.
Woken up at his residence at 3:18 a.m. after a reporter jimmied the lock to his back porch, thus gaining access to his six-bedroom home, Avery wiped his eyes and made a threatening gesture, but provided no further comment.
March 16th, 2009 at 3:52 pm
When does pre-season start?
March 16th, 2009 at 3:52 pm
The Onion is going to be wanting its schtick back, Ape.
March 16th, 2009 at 3:53 pm
you know an NFL player just killed a man while driving drunk. Surely we’ll hear the same outrage as we did when that one NFL player made dogs fight. or not?
March 16th, 2009 at 3:56 pm
Yeah, is there going to be anti alcohol protest going on when Dante goes to trial.
March 16th, 2009 at 4:08 pm
The Onion is going to be wanting its schtick back, Ape.
Yes, because the Onion invented satire. Jackass.
March 16th, 2009 at 4:13 pm
So if the Onion invented satire, who invented sarcasm?
March 16th, 2009 at 4:17 pm
Reggie Nelson did.
March 16th, 2009 at 4:19 pm
Which came first the smartass or the jackass?
March 16th, 2009 at 4:20 pm
The dumbass.
March 16th, 2009 at 4:27 pm
+1 Gino. Question though, did he invent the other ones even though he was dumb? Or was it evolution of the dumbass into the others?
March 16th, 2009 at 4:30 pm
Domestic abuse can be funny in some cases- like when Liza Minnelli and that face-lifted, gay Jewish guy were married. She got hammered on vodka and beat the Hell out of him, then he tries to get media attention and sympathy by telling the world that he got his ass kicked by Liza Minnelli. Now that’s funny.
March 16th, 2009 at 4:31 pm
Donnie tried to go “pew pew pew” but realized that his finger was empty.
March 16th, 2009 at 4:34 pm
@ dAndy
The Wiseass first made fun of the dumbass, then the smartass jumped in. Then the jackass came along and it wasn’t funny anymore.
March 16th, 2009 at 4:37 pm
Instead of punching their ladies, abusive men should just get a face tattoo for themselves that says “I have a small penis and/or problems staying erect.”
That’s the real message you’re sending, assholes, so you might as well tattoo it on your own fucking face.
March 16th, 2009 at 4:40 pm
this has been a public service announcement from Otto Man.
March 16th, 2009 at 4:40 pm
Domestic abuse can be funny in some cases
Don’t ever, ever say that.
Domestic abuse is always funny.
March 16th, 2009 at 4:41 pm
this has been a public service announcement from Otto Man.
The more you know, fuckos.
March 16th, 2009 at 4:42 pm
So wait…is Donnie Avery going to dress up like Batman and go from hood to hood trying to stop domestic abuse?
Cause other than that, what exactly can he do to put a stop to it? Send Chris Brown a nasty text message?! And would he even recognize who Donnie Avery is?
March 16th, 2009 at 4:43 pm
I would never hit a woman. Never, EVER hit a woman… but I’ll shake the shit out of her.
March 16th, 2009 at 4:49 pm
I don’t see what domestic abuse has to do with the man’s sexual prowess.
I thought it had more to do with the woman being a bad listener?
March 16th, 2009 at 4:54 pm
I hate domestic abuse. I’m a foreign abuse guy.
March 16th, 2009 at 5:13 pm
@Gino
Just asnother case of foreigners taking American jobs.
March 16th, 2009 at 5:28 pm
It’s OK to abuse your domestics. Especially if they’re foreign.
March 16th, 2009 at 5:29 pm
So, was Otto being sarcastic, satirical, dumbass, jackass or snide?
March 16th, 2009 at 5:43 pm
@RBP
So if he texts Chris Brown will he include Peter King on it?
/Lofty text. True text.
March 16th, 2009 at 6:27 pm
Apropos of nothing on, I plan to watch Dhani Jones learn Muay Thai on the Travel Channel. I was doubtful, but they just did a fast talking bit on the potential for harm and don’t watch it if you don’t like violence. I am in!
March 16th, 2009 at 6:34 pm
So, was Otto being sarcastic, satirical, dumbass, jackass or snide?
Usually the first two are the safest bet with me, but in this case I guess “jackass” would apply.
Seriously, “punching a woman” is one step past “driving a Hummer” to broadcast that you’re overcompensating for a thumbdick. Both of them are efforts to say you’re a Real Man, and both of them are chock full o’ fail.
March 16th, 2009 at 6:37 pm
This thread is bizarre.
March 16th, 2009 at 6:37 pm
It’s OK to abuse your domestics. Especially if they’re foreign.
Does sending the Mexican housekeeper out to a parking lot to buy OxyContin for you count as “abuse”?
I mean, sure, you’re getting her involved in something illegal, but you’re not physically hurting her.
March 16th, 2009 at 7:30 pm
NEXT HEADLINE:
Cardinals Quarterback Decries Self Abuse, To a Point
March 16th, 2009 at 8:39 pm
Bears Quarterback Decries Domestic Beer, To a Point
March 16th, 2009 at 9:55 pm
FOOTBALL HUMOR FAIL
March 16th, 2009 at 10:23 pm
BLOG COMMENTING FAIL
/actually, you fail at life, but whatevs
March 17th, 2009 at 9:30 am
Other Bears Quarterback Decries Shaving, To A Point
March 17th, 2009 at 9:48 am
Does spanking a chick on her ass constitute physical abuse? If so, then you’re gonna have to lock me up before I spank another ass.
March 17th, 2009 at 11:06 am
“I have a big dick, and it gets hard when I punch a woman”
but my forehead isn’t wide enough…