One wedding is simply not enough for people this hot
After getting married earlier this year in California, Patriots quarterback Tom Brady and supermodel Gisele Bundchen are planning another wedding to be held early next month in Costa Rica. According to A.C. Slater, it will be a small, private affair– much like their first wedding.
If you’re feeling slighted because you didn’t make the guest list for either wedding, KSK has a some good news. Tom and Gisele are planning a series of nuptials this year… one of them is sure to be somewhere near you.
I’m not sure where they are registered, but candlesticks always make a nice gift.
May 2 Onondaga County War Memorial Syracuse, New York
May 30 Six Flags Cedar Point Sandusky, Ohio (in front of log flume)
June 13 Zaxby’s (Grand Opening) Dothan, Alabama
(mention you’re there for the wedding and receive half off an order of boneless bbq wings with purchase of a 20oz soft drink)
June 30 Uproxx Media company picnic Leesburg, Virginia
(bring a dish, sign-up sheet on Brian’s desk; and don’t sign up for chips or soda—that’s a dick move)
July 11 Rodeo Nite Cody, Wyoming
(between barrel races and junior calf-roping– chronologically, not physically, but could you imagine if was? crazy, dude!!!)
July 24 Shrewsbury Renaissance Faire Kings Valley, Oregon
(can’t wait to peep the bodice on Gissy!!!)
August 7 Sh boom, Sh-Boom’s Shelby, North Carolina
(BEER BUST — 50 cent Bud Lights until some takes a leak– so for god’s sake, take a piss before you get there)
Tags: dreamboat, giseleboat, weddings make me cry (when there's a cash bar)
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March 24th, 2009 at 11:30 am
+1000 for this
March 24th, 2009 at 11:37 am
Funny you’d mention Shelby, NC in this post! I spent a large part of my life there and it’s nice to know the city’s white-trashiness has reached such epic proportions as national notoriety — The city/county lead NC in meth labs, Baptist churches, and violent crime. But hey, at least they have good high school football
March 24th, 2009 at 11:39 am
How dare you desecrate the name of Cedar Point by associating them with Six Flags. They are their own entity (And the best fucking amusement park on the planet). Get you facts straight mister!!
March 24th, 2009 at 11:40 am
Sept. 24 Bass Pro Shops, Bricktown, Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
(Tom wants to finally know If Gisele is down with some “Okie Noodlin’”.
March 24th, 2009 at 11:45 am
You’re right Flubby. Cash bars at weddings suck balls.
March 24th, 2009 at 11:46 am
my apologies to the good people @ Cedar Point — way to be unsullied by Dan Snyder
March 24th, 2009 at 11:53 am
Cedar Point is not a Six Flags
March 24th, 2009 at 11:54 am
Don’t forget the pre-wedding stop:
March 27 Sixth Annual Pork n’ Brew BBQ Festival–Santa Ana Star Center, Rio Rancho NM. Conveniently located five minutes from the Santa Ana Star Casino, where you can support American Indian culture, five bucks at a time.
March 24th, 2009 at 12:03 pm
“When we were at Rio Rancho, who was top man? A month? Two months? Eight months in twelve for three years in a row.” – Shelly “The Machine” Levine
March 24th, 2009 at 12:07 pm
Like hell I’m driving to Leesburg!
March 24th, 2009 at 12:13 pm
Damn, Flubby. Spot on. I watched my first hockey at the War Memorial. Syracuse Blazers, I think they were then.
But not just famous people do this: I have a cousin who was going to have two weddings…I think he figured out he wanted to divorce the woman before the second event, which never occurred.
March 24th, 2009 at 12:26 pm
Aw shux, no stops in Florida. I just wanted to see the greatest quarterback EVAR in person! NO ONE DENIES THIS!!!
/Brady can take a midget’s dogs in the bath…FACKER!
March 24th, 2009 at 12:37 pm
Having a wedding tour is gayer than sucking a cock at a Queen cover band concert.
March 24th, 2009 at 12:40 pm
Meanwhile John Edward Thomas Moynahan says, “Where is daddy?”
(Zaxby’s in Dothan has been there for 3 years now. Nice try!!! )
March 24th, 2009 at 12:44 pm
Tom’s wedding circuit stop at sh’boom sh’boom’s seems like a perfectly reasonable offseason activity. Better than practicing. Just remember: fundamentals are a crutch for the talentless.
March 24th, 2009 at 12:50 pm
What, no Toone P. Wiggins?
March 24th, 2009 at 12:56 pm
Now that Peter King lives in Boston he’ll no doubt be calling out Tom Brady in next week’s MMQB to express his frustration of being snubbed by the nuptials of Tom and Giselle not once, but twice! Prepare to feel the wrath of Peter King’s sausage-like, Kit-Kat covered backhand Mr. Brady!
March 24th, 2009 at 12:58 pm
They really should make it out the the annual Burlington County Farm Fair in Lumberton, N.J. They could participate in the Home Arts and Crafts competition and tour the antique farm machinery exhibit. Gissy could enter the women’s skillet throwing tournament, while Tom competes in the men’s spike driving event (Not that kind of spike driving, Tom! You scamp!). Then they could catch a pig race and watch the Dress Your Calf event before setting down to take in Todd’s Porch Band in the show tent.
March 24th, 2009 at 1:01 pm
Holy shit. Zaxby’s. Fuck I miss that place. Perfect for hangovers. Good play sir. good play.
March 24th, 2009 at 1:12 pm
Sandusky Ohio? Will little Tommy Callahan be there selling new brake pads to the new couple?
March 24th, 2009 at 1:29 pm
(BEER BUST — 50 cent Bud Lights until some takes a leak– so for god’s sake, take a piss before you get there)
Take a piss before you get there? Why would you break the seal before the action’s even started?!?!
March 24th, 2009 at 1:36 pm
“don’t sign up for chips or soda—that’s a dick move”
Until you show up to a picnic with no chips or soda. Then the terrorists will have won.
March 24th, 2009 at 1:46 pm
I was thinking of going to the June 30th event, but then I remembered I have to wash my car that day.
March 24th, 2009 at 2:31 pm
NOTE: the Shelby, NC tour stop has been changed to the Ham’s across from Cleveland Mall on US 74. Gisele prefers their jalapeno poppers.
March 24th, 2009 at 3:02 pm
if they were to stop in upstate it would definitely be at turning stone instead of the war memorial.
Turning Stone Casino, Verona, NY- we don’t have a liquor license, but you can bring your own booze!
March 24th, 2009 at 3:21 pm
Top of the list, baby! Never in my life would I imagine the War Memorial gracing KSK.
March 24th, 2009 at 4:42 pm
Whoa, whoa … AC Slater reports? Fan-fucking-tastic. Now it’s news.
May 21st, 2009 at 2:00 am
Thanks very much for your interesting post. Will be back in the future.
July 6th, 2009 at 8:02 pm
There is obviously a lot to know about this. I think you made some good points in Features also.